>>25838223 I don't want to sound like a defeatist lil bitch but the fact is I've been trying since I was a child... I've never stopped trying.
>my mother was an abusive bitch >my father emasculated enabler to her (some women truly do terrorize their husbands) >ended up in state care kinda thing when I tried to an hero as a teenager because I saw no way out of the abuse I suffered at the hands of my mother >was bullied at High School, as natural loner, unattractive >KHV till 21 when I lost weight and escaped family situation >had it drilled into me that I would never be good enough, and never be employable >as a result, have always had problems at work, worked menial jobs >finally graduate college into good career >first job out was absolutely amazing, I was finally appreciated and comfy in what I did >approached to work in bum fuck town but for 3 times the pay >like an idiot left my great job and friends for what I thought was greener grass, purely for more money >got there and it was hell. Bullied relentlessly at work >got robbed of almost everything I own one day >try to leave job, pack the rest of what I own in my car, the car I planned on selling to move overseas >pouring rain, most dangerous road in my country, middle of the night, couldn't see a thing cont.....
2/2 >lost control on a corner, one side is a sheer drop to nowhere, the other is a bank, as car fishtailed across the road at 100km an hour I remember the terror of the exact moment I knew I would never regain control of my car and I didn't know if I would plunge to my certain death or hit the bank on the other side >hit bank, car rolls up it and back down and onto its roof >a complete write off, only 3rd party insurance (like an idiot I just forgot to update my policy to full when I graduated because I had never had an incident before) >leave the country nevertheless, broke as fuck but optimistic >arrive in new country, once again job is hell >move into house, my housemate is batshit, goes through all my things (set up spy cam) >get fired from job >leave that house >get new job, seems amazing >take out lease on my own apartment in area I love because job seem secure >I work overtime all the time, always 10 minutes early, never missed a day, always completely respectful and cheerful to coworkers and patients and management >literally have no idea what more I can do to be model employee >last week started being micromanaged by a superior and keel hauled for the most minor of human errors >feels like my job is hanging in the balance, and therefore my career because how on earth am I supposed to get another job in this field when I was fired at last job after 4 months and prior to that left a job after only 6 months >still stuck with expensive lease if shit hits fan >also tfw when no gf, family or friends (new country), but to be honest all that seems by the by when my livelihood is my biggest concern
>>25838623 Australia from New Zealand. Just thought the grass would be greener. The reality is there may be more opportunites, but theyre in my face and I still can't seem to grab them if my life depended on it.
>>25838664 I went travelling in New Zealand last year. There's some fucked up roads there. I actually crashed at one stage. Fortunately there was no drop off where I went off the road but about a mile onward from the accident the road went along a huge cliff. It's a disturbing thought that if the same thing had happened five minutes later I wouldn't be typing this right now.
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