>>25830813 I'm sick of everyone around me being so hateful. The more 'normie' you get, the less hateful you get. There's a correlation between hatefulness and failure, and Chads like Donald Trump exploit this
I fucking hate my mother for taking almost 1700 eu from me.
My dad took two thousand pounds out of a savings account intended for me and my sister, gave a thousand of it to my sister and hasn't given me shit in almost half a year. Fucker didn't even mention it Didn't even get a birthday or Christmas present.
I hate this faggot guy i know that keeps inviting me out but he always takes his gf along despite the fact that he knows it annoys me and because can't do anything as guys and i feel that he does it because he likes showing off to me.
So fucking you Stephan for that as well.
My sister is a egomaniacal idiot but that's about it.
I have an ex-friend who I stopped talking to due to the shitty way he treated me. Except, he still thinks I'm an asshole for severing contact. I want to confront him to fully explain what a worthless asshole he is.
>>25830884 I hate the fact that my grandfather shows up at my apartment uninvited, just to sit down and mumble about me not having a girlfriend and how apparently, back in his day he was a pussy crusher.
And i hate most people i know. They sometimes call me, i tell them i'm available whenever they want to do something and then ignore my calls when i call them up LITERALLY the next day.
And Desp, you were a fucking bitch for how you acted to me. I was nothing but kind to you(and an orbiter in hindsight) and you insulted that kindness in the dumbest way possible. You didn't even bother sending fucking good wishes during the holidays so while i know for a fact you're enough of a cunt to sleep well at night to do shit like that, i hope that one day it bites you in the ass so hard you're gonna a tetanus shot afterwards. Fuck you. Royally. With a loaded shotgun.
And Haley, i have no fucking issues with you getting pregnant by some jackass you only knew for less than a year. Because you're a greedy bitch and i'm glad i won't be working with you this year. Fuck you Jason for enabling that behavior and having that bias to begin with. Dick move.
My family made me go out ice skating with them. There were so many couples there. Majority of the guys were pencil neck faggots. I wish it were the caveman days so I could bludgeon them to death and rape their women.
Everybody I know either thinks I'm annoying autistic fuck who can't make his own decisions or hates me. I've wanted to kill myself since I was 12 and attempted more than once but everybody just thinks I'm edgy and will "grow up some day" >tfw 20 and no gf >tfw literally live in parents basement >tfw my friends don't text back >tfw don't know how to drive >tfw I've laid in bed for 16 hours today >tfw only get up to shower and take a shit
I Wish things weren't so complicated and difficult just because some like to take more than others. I just want a room, internet and a cat. I have to spend my entire life slaving just to get these things. Life is so pointless. I'm so tired.
I really really miss my mom. If your mother is still alive then give her a big hug and kiss and tell her how much you love her. I know not everyone has a great relationship with their parents but if you don't have too much drama then just do it. Because I guarantee you're going to be thankful of every single instance that you did and regret every single instance where you could have but didn't. Once they are dead you will never get that chance. Hell my dad is still alive and even I take it for granted like a fool. But I'm going to practice what I'm preaching right now and tell my father how much I appreciate him.
What have you got a to lose? A few seconds of time, maybe a few minutes if your mom gets emotional about it. You can fap later. You can shitpost later. Just tell your mom that you love and give her a big hug and a kiss. I would do just about anything to get a chance to do that again with my mother.
>>25830813 I REALLY would like to kill someone brutally sometimes. Not just, you know, the disgusting old hag who mumbles in her lady-beard in the bus, while you try to focus on you book. But just someone on the streets, a random person, in the most painful, cruel ways imaginable. I know I sound edgy, but I was bullied and am more or less a robot. I have issues.
>>25831191 Sorry man, hate to hear that. I really love my mum, couldnt bear to lose her. She was diagnosed with depression some years ago. I didnt know. Now she is okay, we fight somtimes, but I am so happy she made it. Thank you mum, for all the light you bring in my life, I would be a darker person without you.
I got into a really good university but wasted my education by getting a shitty social science degree because I thought I wanted to be an archaeologist. Now that I'm working in the field, I've discovered that I despise it and would never want to do a master's degree in it. However, just having a bachelor's degree means that I'm stuck in shit archaeology jobs that pay around $12/hr and have highly irregular schedules. I want to do get out now and do something else with my life, but I'm at a complete loss. I haven't ever wanted to do anything but archaeology, and now that I'm actually doing it I've realized that I never actually liked it to begin with, I just liked history and swords and ruins and things like that.
I've had an overhanging sense that I will never be successful in anything for the last few years. I can't even picture what a happy future for myself would look like. It all just seems downhill from here.
I developed IBS-D freshman year and became extremely socially isolated. I felt at my most "normal" socially when I travelled back to my family on breaks and got to see my girlfriend/my friends from high school who were back. I broke up with my girlfriend in the latter part of sophomore year because I wasn't willing to invest myself emotionally. My parents moved that summer and ever since I spent most of my free time surfing the internet, smoking weed, and jerking off. It's made me extremely unempathetic and self-centered, and I can tell that I have a much harder time relating to other people than I used to. I only go out to events with alcohol because that's the only way I could socialize, and I think I'm developing alcohol dependence.
I'm beginning to lose my hair and I'm only 23. I used to pity the guys on campus who had visibly receeding hairlines, and barely 8 months after graduating my hairline has noticeably moved back. When I look directly at my hair in the mirror I can nearly see through to my scalp in places.
Sweet fucking god, that man might just be the worst human being i have ever met.
I wish to god i hated homosexuals so i can say my hatred of his worthless ass was irrational.
But no. He might be the living proof that there is no fucking design to the universe. A waste of human flesh and organs who every time i see him, i feel like punching him in the face until there's nothing but a bloody pulp in the goddamn ground.
You terrible human being that has never treated anyone with any kindness or humility and is more interested in fucking Syrians than running a business.
I cannot find an expression to describe how much i fucking hate this man and his inexcusable behavior.
I want to be connected to the people around me and the world so I have a tether to reality and therefore myself. Without feedback and an outside view I have no self image, no bearings regarding my thoughts and intentions. As I've been formed to be a loner, being a loner has formed me to be no one.
im not even a basement dweller or anything and i have a job but i know that there isnt hardly any chance of me meeting a girl and wedding her. really hardly any, im not really depressed about it, i like being alone to think but it is kind of troubling to think about. howcome other generations had more people who had success with relationships versus today?
goddamn just give me a job fuck interviewing fuck jumping through hoops fuck me for being stupid. im a piece of shit failure and should be further ahead in life i should have done better in uni. i need to make better choices i hate my fucking self so much and hate my sister for the stupid shit she did that changed my family. fuck everything i wish i was fucking dead
>>25831596 Call it what you like it's just what i felt to share dude
>>25831632 I think they are 3 ways to do things: The wrong way, the right way and the righter way. Most people should only do the second way because the righter way is for "expert" such as a racecar pilot that drive "the wrong way" but the skill they acquire gives the ability to do it as safely as the normal right way. Don't stress too much about people.
I'm stuck in a school I absolutely hate and I can't leave due to being restricted from my own school counselor!
I got to a small school with a total population of 160 kids. It is not an alternative school but a full diploma all the bells and whistle high school. In middle school I chose this school because I was a weird fuck who had inept social skills. This school helped turn me around in my freshman and sophomore year. This school did wonders for me and I am still reaping benefits form choosing this school over the one next to me in the same district. I even managed to join a second school in the town over where I am studying Architecture and Design in my junior and senior year. However, this school is now so limiting that it is destroying me.
In order to get into the school you needed to apply and interview with the principle to get in. This school is advertised as a 'safe' school so we get a bunch of weirdos who were just like me. I can't stand being around them and there are not enough normal people for me to meet. The few people in my senior class who are girls and not fucked in the head are in relationships or do not want to date at all. What it has left me is either subject myself to dating grades below or sticking it with a crazy, both I will not do. There was only one girl who I really connected with, and her and I still talk to this day. I consider her my best friend and she does to me as well, we even both liked each other. But it killed me to have to reject her, I really liked her and she really liked me, we were always there for each other but, we were too far apart in age. She was 14 and I was 17, something our parents would never let happen.
I began talking to more girls, guys, anyone who wasn't at my school and bat-shit crazy, but all it left me with was people I'd know for two weeks 3 cities away and then lose contact with. I'd end up connecting with those who had the same interest, but entirely different wants than I did. <continued>
>>25830813 ok fucking hell Matt, wear some deodorant when you come over sometime
I swear to god Adam, you narcissist, if you've taken and sold the weed, I paid for to help my insomnia and lack of appetite I'll fucking disown you
Lucy, you fucked someone else and got angry that I called your phone and called you a cunt, have fun with your ugly new bf, I hope you get syphilis and fall down a mineshaft
Ophelia, stop inviting people into the kitchen until 3am, you guys are loud as fuck and its right next to my head, jesus christ
Aimee, learn to spell your god damn name, retard and stop tellling people I took your virginity, my penis didn't go in, youre just really easy for a virgin
Amina, I don't really know you but please let me sit in my lectures in peace, I get it youre a nice person but I'm busy trying to look down the pretty girls top that always sits near me
I dont even know your name, you manchester piece of shit but good god will you stop talking about how hard you think bar work is, fuck you try working in a kitchen like I did for 3 years you piece of shit stop talking about opening up your own pub too
Fuck you dad you took me away from my oneitis who loved me back, you took over a grand of my money and you made life more difficult at every turn by being a smug fucking alcoholic junkie, and I know you knew when Luke was buying coke and heroin you literal piece of garbage, you just didn't do shit, even when he tried to fuking kill himself
mum, you're the most stupid person I have ever met, It's not even funny, I know you feign ignorance alot of the time because of how fucked things generally are but god damn I really dont feel inclined to help you or any other family members
Cesca, I know what you did to luke, I hated him for years for the shit he put me through but I found out you were the one that fucked him up, how could you do that to your own brother, as soon as I finish Uni, I will have nothing to do with you sorry guys, have a lot of hate
I feel bad for the honest black people who don't speak in ebonics or relate to thug culture in the slightest... Niggers make me so prejudice that I pretty much stereotype any black person I see until I hear their voice.
I'd be coming out to the big city where they lived and just walk around, not for them, but for myself, I love walking around the big city and being around people. I would ask them if they would want to do something and they would say they were busy or can't. One girl I hit it off with incredibly well and I really liked told me she was busy when I asked her if she'd want to hang out. She sat around and watched supernatural for 6+ hours. Another girl I got close too ended up using me as 'flavor of the week' and turned out to be pretty big of a slut, so I jumped off that crazy train.
I keep getting stuck in the position of trying to find people to hang out with or date and they turn our crazy. It's like my only ways of meeting people are the ways that attract the crazies.
I tried getting out of my high school, tried going to a bigger one in my are so I wouldn't have to deal with the problem of trying to meet others further away. It was going great, I had made some contacts, gotten forms filled out, and arranged to leave. I was excited it was my time to leave. Then, I find out after it's too late to make anything happen that my request was denied. I heave a feeling that my own counselor is behind me not going because of the asset I am to the school. I do the recruitment days, I help orientate freshman, I'm in the motherfucking leadership class and even my family is now deeply involved in the school as well. I honestly feel like I've been held back because of the benefits I bring to the school.
I'm a good student, I am currently studying and achieving college credit in an Architecture course which is my planned major, I am a social out going guy with a job and responsibilities. I just feel so restricted at my small as school like I've outgrown it. No one knows the full story, I hate telling it because all I get is "I should be more thankful, kids really wanna go here" yea I know they do, I get why they do, but now I don't need it.
>>25831894 I feel like this with any celebrity death. What I hate about it thought are the people who try to make it all about themselves. I don';t know the guy, and yea a little RIP whoever is fin, but what I hate the most is this:
"Oh no, _________ is dead, woes me, let me post my selfie and ask for shares and likes to spread his word, by the way add me @gjbndsgsd I'd really appreciate it love you all <3333"
>>25832344 I know man, I'm a senior as well. The pressure is insane and the fees are ridiculous. I spent $320 on 8 applications just to make sure I could get into a school, and I'm freaking out that they won't accept me. I just hope to God that I addressed my transcripts correctly. Where have you applied to?
I was just kicked out of my house for getting a C in Organic Chemistry 1 last semester. I had a 3.4 that semester, and I have a 3.73 cumulative GPA. I had a one hour lecture on how I should just drop out and that I'm not cut out for it, etc. They tell me that they have no idea what I'm studying. (even though I told them I'm studying Chem Engineering)
They also said I'm not getting into grad school without a 4.0, and that I'm already fucked, even though I've already done two internships and am currently on a research project. (albeit not with a critical role) They also like to bring up my cousin who did med school and tell me that I did engineering because I wasn't cut out for it.
Also, they literally think I have to retake the class if I got a C. So, I called them fucking retards and now I'm in a rescue mission posting from my phone. I can pay for my classes (I've been doing so, with the help of loans and grants, no help from parents aside from food and a place to stay) but I have no place to stay.
Thankfully they have showers here, and I think there's a laundromat nearby. I'm at the point where I'm not even angry anymore. I've dealt with this shit for years, and I feel like an empty shell at this point. Sorry if that sounds a little edgy. Anyone got any advice, aside from looking for an apartment? I have no friends that I can crash with, either
>>25832643 I go to two high schools one where I do social studies and two electives. The other one I study architecture which I plan to major and my remaining 3 core classes. I've mostly applied to state university schools. Right now I really want #1 University of Miane, #2 Kent State University, #3 Ohio State University. The other schools are schools I want to go to, but the first 3 are the main ones I REALLY want to go to. The worst part of college is the SAT, I have already sunk $160 into it and come out with 430 in math... I'm taking it again next Saturday and get a better grade though. I just wish when I saw the bill for all this shit we gotta do it wouldn't make me cry :L
>>25830813 Not getting a job after school is my biggest worry and its literally killing me. I cant focus on schooleork, stress is hurting my stomach and i have no appetite. If i cant get a job immefiately after idk what i'll do
I've been talking to you every waking hour of the fucking week every single night you have a fucking breakdown I can't take it most of these subjects hurt me as much as they do you I can't fucking take it I can't talk to you because you'll blame it on yourself I can't take it why cant you just fucking calm down oh my god like take a break stop being so tight what the fuck FUCK
I am obsessed w/ Akatsuki & HIbiki from KanColle today. I've read 10 different doujinshi that specifically focus on their class, watched episode 6 about 4 times, and read about the actual naval ships on Wikipedia. I wish there was more content starring them.
I'm so caught up in their world that I've barely given my waifu Shana any attention today. I'll make sure to lay in bed w/ her & caress her while we watch recorded Toonami shows together.
>>25833049 I'm fucking fine, she doesn't understand that I'm not a fucking counselor and I can't help her with all of this She tells me she's not eating and that she's always sick and whenever I suggest professional help she always shoots me down with "I can handle it" No you fucking can't you dumb bitch you can't handle it this has been a problem for a month now
>>25832970 I can't handle my shitty town that I live in. Myt entire class is filled with people who plan on going to community college and getting associates. They are just gonna stay in this same stupid town. I am the only person in my class who has applied out-of-state. As soon as I can I'm getting out of Oregon and moving away, I want to live in Maine. As much as it sucks seeing a $27,000 tuition and $9,000 dorm, it beats having to stick it out any longer in this deadbeat area.
I hope your able to make it to MIT and get the girl you want! I just hope out stress and freaking out will go away soon. I just want us to see some acceptance letters.
>>25833105 No, I have a Shana pillow & I lay down w/ her on top of me & my arms around her. I envision parts of it as her hips, thighs, hair etc. Gosh it feels amazing my hands up & down her slender hips...
>>25833049 I was rejected from one last year for already having a bachelors. Back again for a masters in the same field. I think i spilled spaghetti at my first 2nd round interview and got rejected for a really good job in november. Career fair is in about 3 weeks so im praying to not fuck up.
>>25833282 Yep, I'm just counting down the days til March 1st when the colleges are required to send back notices of enrollment. I'm looking forward to no longer seeing you no longer being a robot and living that great Chad life that you and I are both perusing.
hopefully i can last 1 more year with no videogames. other than that i've been daydreaming alot lately. i wonder if there really are multiple universes. if i exist somewhere else, i bet it would be very sunny with lots of nice people to talk to. i can't die yet.
>>25833414 so you can stop me? everyone thinks i'm sick. they look at my tears and insult me like that, know you? They say I don't deserve happiness. well im a human, so she didn't deserve happiness either. that's how i see it.
>>25833442 find the ones that no one else cares about. i've read killers say that's the way to go. I tend to agree with my peers. but it doesn't matter who it is or when i do it. someone's paying.
>>25833524 I want to make you bleed too, anon! I think it will be a great form of rehabilitation for the both of us. What do you say? Do you know how food chains work? After all, the normal crowd would lump us two together. You prey on little girls, maybe little boys? I prey on you and others like you:)
my only friend is a feminazi who thinks all men should die and makes her opinions loud to all who will hear her, she praised me today for being such a kind individual, because my mother just got cancer removed from her breasts feat double mastectomy and I'm the only one taking care of her
yet I hate women and I lurk every women hate thread on this board and she has no idea >mfw
I am at point where I don't want to do anything anymore. When I wake up, I set a goal for myself, that today I have to do this and that. I really try my best to accomplish them. But I can't, I just can't. For example, if I wanted to read a book, I'd take it up, and within next 10 mins I'd feel bored and tired. Afterwards, I'd be angry at myself for not accomplishing the task, agonizing myself with all the failures of my life. I have a ADHD; My old doctor had prescribed me Ritalin, which worked really well and I was happy for the first I could do something I love, I felt very stable. But then my dad was worried that Ritalin might affect in the long run, so he told me to visit an another psychiatrist, who wanted me to discontinue it, and kept me on bipolar meds, which kinda fucked me up. I have the necessary will power, but my stupid fucking brain won't let me do anything. I fucking hate myself.
Being treated like less than a person for being aspie feels so.... So beyond degrading. There was one girl I fell hard for before I realized I was aspie, loved just LOVED playing with her hair, beautiful, long, auburn but unfortunately I was so insecure I didn't think she'd say yes to any of my advances, I was potato chub kid standing at 6'2" she was a walking reddish haired goddess with a bosom like no other and slim figure with beautiful graceful hands and arms. And legs. I'll never forget her and I hate myself for not trying. No closure. Wish I could be Chad for her. Wish I could put the insecurity away and get to know her. Not now it's too late. I miss her so much. To steal a quote, I was a drizzle she was a hurricane.
I WANT IT BACK. I WANT THE CHANCE AGAIN. IT MIGHT NOT VE ANY DIFFERENT CONSIDERING I CANT CHANGE MY PERSONALITY BUT GOD DAMN ME. I WANTED HER. I KNEW I WOULD NEVER HAVE HER AND NO OTHER GUYS WOULD TRY EITHER, BUT FUCK. Just one kiss robots, one passionate embrace from her and I might die happy. Guess I'm just a kid after all, and if being a kid makes me less than human, what can I say?
...I miss her so bad man. She probably never thinks of me.
>>25833674 Yes. Before she got cancer she would drink and wake me up at 2am and punch me in the face and scream at me/dump water on me. We were in France for a few weeks, I spent every night sleeping in the bathroom tub because that was the only room in the house with a lock. I forgive her though.
>>25830813 I just dont fucking know anymore man >just turned 18 >yes, i am a robot, khv I have the irrational urge to operate, but >in shit shape >hate walking >cant stand being yelled at what do? I wouldn't last a day in the army.
>>25830813 I'm capable of so much more then I currently am doing, despite my best efforts I can't seem to move forward in life. I've been blessed with so much more then a lot of you guys but I'm in the same situation as most of you
I have trust issues which make me act suspicious even towards those who I genuinely trust. It eventually makes me angry, perpetuating this circle of isolation. I wish I could scream to everyone I love them, but I'm afraid of looking clingy.
>>25834089 I did that for like all my life already, I have a giant passion for guns (had more guns than friends when I was in school), maybe that can help me actually operate. Although making a ton of cash somehow and opening a custom bolt action rifle shop in the sticks of Colorado really appeals to me.
>>25833330 Bachelor's in what? Everybody tells you to pursue your passions, what what if your passion is art or the liberal arts or something that can't get you a decent paying career? Seems like you just got cucked by society and those in power. It's not you, it's them.
>>25830813 I start university tomorrow after two years NEET and I'm fucking scared. I'm scared of failing and disappinting my parents. I'm scared of being made fun of. I still don't know what I want to do with my life. I wish I could be somone important. I don't want to die a nobody but I have no idea what to do. I feel so empty and alone.
I'm going to fail out of university and I have no one to fucking blame but myself. I'm a lazy piece of shit and have no idea what I'm doing. Everyone is going to find out what a fraud I am
All of my relationships are falling apart. My old best friend only talks to me when he needs someone to agree with him. Otherwise he just ignores me and spends time with his now friend. My only other friend keeps trying to get me to spend time with her friends but I just can't. I go quiet and find the first excuse I can to leave. It's only a matter of time until she gives up on mean I'll be completely alone
I have a phone interview on tuesday and I know I'm going to blow it. Fuck I can't do anything right. I fucking hate myself. Why does my mom keep saying that she's proud of me. I haven't done anything and I'm hanging on by a thread. Why are you guilting me into living?
Fuck I wish my problems weren't so pathetic so I'd have a real reason to want to kill myself
>>25835339 See a psychiatrist before it gets worse. >im too afriad to see a psych because of the stigma tumblr has given to mental illness makes me think everyone will believe im faking it for attention Just keep it to yourself.
I am pretty jealous because my friend who never gets pussy finally has more girls than he knows what to do with. I'm not a chad but i have always had at least one cutie on call. Now i'm single for the first time in years. I'm pretty pissed because he wont let me fuck her friends because he wants to live the fuckboi life i used to live (cheated a lot). I know its only fair he gets his turn but I'm pissed he wont hook me up because i always look out for him. Out of resentment i want to do horrible things to his girl. Fucking hate myself for such betrayal. .
i have a pointless meeting about pointless things in an hour but i havnt prepared so i am absolutely shitting myself with fear, i flop between thinking of not going, killing myself or just get drunk before so they will fire me and i wont have to do more meetings
I'm tired of being lonely and frustrated. I'd love to pass the time with vidya, but my toaster can't run anything I want to play. I don't have an allowance. Even if I did, I don't have the space or ability to set up a PC in my room because limitations. My best friend lives on the other side of the country, and my other friend is my ex gf who broke up with me because she's busy with her own life. We grow more distant by the day. I go to a community college to save money, but I'm clearly a much better student than most and I can't get along with anyone. I don't talk to anybody, and no one even bothers to talk to me about anything anymore, not even about the class. I don't belong anywhere, and who knows if I ever will. I don't even belong here, among anonymous users whose only goals are to ridicule each other for personal pleasure. I'm too different. Too boring. I'm sick of it. I go on, but it never changes.
I really like you, Isabel and I actually feel you're starting to like me back and it's the best feeling in the entire fucking world. It pains me there are so many things that will in all probability prevent us from ever having anything between us and they are all my fault. I'm sorry, I'm beyond sorry, but you deserve a much better person no matter how angry and impotent admitting it makes me feel.
I want to join the military as to not go through the stress of going to college and student loans. I have a 3.7 acc gpa but I still feel at ends with what my future holds. I just want to support my ancient fucking parent.Fuck you parents for having me at such an old age. Burn in hell. Plus I hate my smug sjw liberal art student sisters. Fuck you and your sense of superiority and female independence. Dad still pays for your fucking rents you faggots.
It would be worse, because you would have shitty audio quality, shitty video quality, and no video games to play. You would have to go out to clubs and concerts to hear music, and go to a bar or something to play pinball(closest you'd get to vidya). All 5 channels have nothing on, and while you try to get your damn television to work, you remember that your friends are all being kill by gooks, so you decide to smoke your 15th cigarette of the day, all the while nursing whiskey throughout the day. Then you remember you want to listen to The Wall, but Pink Floyd isn't going to drop it for another 20 years. The just as you get back from working all day at the factory, you over heat in your car from lack of air conditioning.
i have incurable mental illness everything i do right now is for my parents, i stopped caring about everything before my days are over i just want to know the truth, about many things possible i have really shit luck, in everything. but god is listening to me sometimes
makes me feel better that im not the only person suffering in this life
Megan...I fucking love you. I don't give a fuck if I last spoke to you five years ago. I know you browse 4chan, and I hope you see this right now...you didn't feel this way about me, but I don't care--you'rte the only thing that's ever mattered to me. I'll be sure to mention you in my suicode note.
I hate this bullshit culture where people do stupid shit "tongue-in-cheek". Women especially are responsible for this, because they try to get attention this way.
I hate how you can't be honest with health professionals because they're fucking normies and section you. It's shit to lie but even worse to be sectioned. Once they think you're mentally ill, everything you do is a symptom.
I hate how I'm an aimless faggot who can't be interested in anything for longer periods of time.
I hate how there is no socially acceptable way to tell someone you don't want to see them anymore, when the relationship is platonic.
Everyone has high expectations of me, but I've given up the will to do anything. I wish I could just sit in this dark room forever. I'm not good with confrontations and I know things are going to have to change soon. I'm not cut out for this shit. I don't have the guts to kill myself, but I'd be relieved if I get terminal cancer or get into a fatal car accident.
what girl wants some alcoholic manlet who hasnt achieved anything in life. i am a disgrace to my family and wish for death every day. mom is too dependent on me and validates her existence by me and it is a tremendous obstacle for self-actualization. she was a single mother and treated me like an object all throughout childhood. now that shes older she recognizes this and is impelled by what i think is guilt as much as love. why wont she understand i just want to be free of her constant hovering. her love is a burden. i dont want this. she doesnt understand.
she never let me do anything on my own and contributed to my failure in later life. its fucking hell. i just want to kill myself but knowing her crazy fucking ass she'll be ruined. fuck her
im so weak. i cant free myself of my own will. i need to escape this house, this state, this life, but see no reason to face the world. it'll only push me back down again. meanwhile everyone i know are moving on and maturing and growing and i just stagnate. fuck this life. fucj who i am. please kill me and end me. this is hell. i denounce myself. just let me sleep and dream good dreams
There's this girl who I'm pretty sure is attracted to me. She looks okay, she's fun to be around, we've got things in common and all, but I'm not feeling anything special for her. Still, I'm a virgin at 23 so am I a dumbass if I reject her?
>>25831047 >allowing in people at a moments notice
should of told him to fuck off the first time anon. Showing up uninvited imo is a huge sign of disrespect and shows you don't care enough about someone elses priorities to even arrange a time to meet someone.
>>25832339 same here,i fucking hate it when she always calls me and blathers about some inane bullshit that i can't even make anything out of! i hated it when she just randomly came to my home and shitted up the place,i hate it when she thinks that she's still responsible from me,i hate it when i need to listen to her bullshit advice,i hate it when i can't make out even ONE SINGLE FUCKING WORD from her speech,i can't wait until she dies so i get to sell her shit on some flea market.
>>25831045 Something like this. Thesedays I can be happy at times, mostly when Im alone and indulging in my hobbies. Socializing tires me out very soon and the depression starts to seep in real fast. I start to act all passive aggressive at first, but eventually I seem angry and say edgy shit just to piss off people. I feel like Im not genuinely angry though. Its just some automatic reaction that I cant help. I wish I could just be "sad" depressed instead of angrily depressed. Being down and unable to move wont chase away everyone around you, acting like some passive aggressive little shit will do that.
Fuck you Jenny for cheating on me with chad. I gave you attention, helped you with stuff like homework, helping your handicapped dad around, treated you to fancy dinners, bought you jewelry and did a lot of romantic stuff for you yet it still wasnt enough for you you fucking cunt. I FUCKING HATE YOU EVEN AFTER 5 YEARS AAAAHHHHH
Also fuck you Peter for abandoning me and spreading rumors about me just because I did not let you get frisky with my 12 year old sister back then. Go fuck yourself you coke addict. I hope you perish.
Go fuck yourself boss, i'm not your fucking slave. You thought it was funny when you called me chubby in front of the entire break room. Your own weight shifts more towards 300 than 200 so sorry i called you out on that you hamburger eating fuckface. thx for firing me shortly after that, that was genuinely one of the best things that ever happened to me. still you can go fuck yourself.
And to you my new stacey neighbour you can go fuck yourself with your Enrico Iglesias shitmusic or whatever kind of spic music you play at 1:30 AM over your fiucking stereo. Well 2 can play that game so don't act surpised when i played ADTR all night long just so your stacey ass got roastie. And very mature of you to throw dogshit on my window as a rebuttal. I really want to see your fucking face when you come back this weekend and find out your mail has been pissed on and that there are 40 rotten eggs on your doorstep.
>>25830813 I'm paranoid of Skype calls. I listen to a lot of jazz, and sometimes the quiet background sounds get mistaken for a call, and my heart beats faster, I get stressed, and I start to panic. I'd turn Skype off, but that's my primary method of contacting my girlfriend, and honestly, it's worth the panic attacks. I don't know what it is, I think it's the fact that I hate a lot of my friends, and don't have an excuse not to talk to them. I'd lie, but it feels bad enough dismissing someone friendly, let alone with a lie. I have a few other little paranoias, like when people walk through my house and I hear their footsteps. This one's a bit more logical, it reminds me of my dad, who walked heavily when he was mad, which obviously left a large impression.
>>25830813 Maybe my fellow brobots can help me out. I have been diagnosed with MDD (actual clinical diagnosis) and some of my symptoms include psychosis; I have been told time and time again that it is all in my head, but the voice, which mimics people I know, are o damn convincing and make me feel like absolute shit for some negative intrusive thoughts. Just want to see if any other brobots have any experience with this.
My family's great. I have amazing friends. I have a gf who seems to actually love me very much. And yet I feel empty inside. I have no fucking idea what I want to do with my life, and everyone judges my family and gf because of my of lack direction. I feel like I can't live up to their standards, regardless of how low they may be. All my parents want for me is to be happy and I can't seem to even do that. My gf's family abhors me because I am, according to them, stupid and ugly. They constantly remind her of this, and it upsets her greatly. I honestly couldn't give a fuck about what they think of me. I just hate that they purposely upset her by being vocal with their opinions. Also, seeing as I've been hated by the families of all the girls I've dated, it would be nice to be liked for once. Writing this actually kinda made me feel worse, but I've written too much to not post it. Sorry for sounding like a whiny bitch.
When no one remembered my birthday and everybod realized it I played it off as cool, like it didn't matter, but I actually cried myself to sleep that night. My friends do have a tendency to forget me, sometimes even ignore me for some time, but they are by no means bad people. But this was just too much. Now I know I'm irrelevant. Love is lonely for someone like me.
>>25841542 everyone has voices in their head man. you're in control of it unless you submit to it. confidence discipline and resolve. stay busy and most importantly stay positive. don't give in to even the slightest beginning of delusion if you can't separate reality from imagination
>>25830813 i hate my parents for raising me in a rural area. if i lived near a major city life would be so much easier.
have a bachelors in math which is useless and i cant find work. im in my late 20s so i NEED to find a career track. going back to school for my masters in accounting -- accounting seems interesting but not super interesting.
what i really want to do is to get a second degree in comp sci, but i dont know if id be good at it. ive taken a few programming intensive courses in my math degree and ive been okay but not good at them. starting a full second degree or a masters is too much of a risk, and there are no community colleges because i live in a rural area.
so it looks like ill do a masters in accounting, spend another 5-10 years of my life doing something okay but not great, and then start taking community college classes in comp sci and see if im good at enough at it to do yet ANOTHER degree.
and yes ive tried teaching myself. i make okay progress but i always stall out -- i need real life classroom experiences and real life mentorship to make real progress.
>>25830813 I've pushed everyone that's ever come close to loving me away, because I was afraid they would abandon me and hurt me. I know I do it and I know I need to change it, but I can't figure out how and I hate myself for it. I just want to be loved, but everytime I come close to achieving that I either push them away or suffocate them and cling to them until they leave.
I wish I knew what I am as a person. It's like my views constantly change, like I can't decide on things. For example, I want to give up on girls completely and dedicate myself to my hobbies, but when I see them live I want to initiate contact and try something. I feel superior to a lot of people in my surroundings, but when I appear in front of them, I feel embarrassed, shy and feel like they're all observing me and thinking badly of me. I don't even know, how can you have self-esteem on the inside but not on the outside? Can someone help me?
I told my friend about some personal stuff I was going through and she freaked and forced me to go to the hospital. She thought it could be cancer. Any way, one stupidly bill later doc says I NEED to quit drinking after taking my blood work. They were too short staffed to say why but know I'm worried, however I am using my ignorance of the situation to continue on drinking. In the back of my mind I'm still worried though.
>>25841727 >>25841716 Hhhhmm yeah thanks for the insight. Honestly, every time I hear a voice, I can identify who it is to a key. Back in 2012 when I was diagnosed with MDD, I had such vivid auditory hallucinations that would be triggered off of what I would be doing irl, and any "intrusive" thoughts that sprang from my subconscious. This alone was the core reason why I attempted suicide two times that year.
When I was admitted to the psych ward the first time, I had told the psychiatrists that I thought I was possessed by a demon that had enabled me to be telepathic; I drew this conclusion due to all of the troubling intrusive thoughts. Not until the second time visiting the psych ward did I understand the diagnosis I had been given.
The only reason why I am still suffering from the auditory hallucinations right now is that my insurance was cut. The only comforting thought I have is that the people I am hearing or think about have absolutely no clue what is going on in my head irl.
>>25830813 Fuck you K for leading me on. Your still doing it and I don't have he balls to cut you off. I secretly hope you fall for me like I have for you, but I realize once you go off to college you will find someone else and have what I wish we have with him.
>Finish Eagle Scout requirements with special assistance from Scout master and leaders, because potato who dun goof'd too many times >Tired of all this shit, ceremony and project postponed 2+ years >Go to Uni, life happens, drop out 19 years old now >They call me back to do a ceremony, parents are forcing me to plan my own god damn ceremony because they can't get shit right >Don't want to go but I can't slap the face of the Scout master who took care of me by not going
How can I weasel my way out of this one? I don't want to see a whole bunch of new age faggots who I don't even know (younger generation of 13 year olds), some lingering older kids, and scout masters who patronized me most of my life.
There's some planning meeting tonight but since my parents are incapable of thinking like parents, they're making me go on their behalf and plan shit despite not knowing their budget and other info.
Help. Do I park the car somewhere and get drunk waiting until its over?
Reposting this from the other day because I really want to hear if anyone has any advice. Anything at all
>tfw obsessed with killing my parents >tfw they were abusive, insane cunts when I was a kid >tfw they were the main thing that shaped me into an angry, violent, mentally and emotionally unstable freak >tfw a few years ago I disowned them completely and they turned their lives around >tfw they are now well-adjusted, kind, generous, reasonable, have lots of friends and money and fixed their marriage >tfw I'm still a fucking mess and they want to try and make amends >tfw I can't stop being a jealous, horribly angry, bitter edgelord and am obsessed with killing them and by extension other people
>the real strange feel >saw The Force Awakens >related so much to Kylo Ren I nearly walked out of the theater from conflicted self-disgust >the scene where he kills his father nearly brought me to tears I was so jealous
I don't expect anyone to respond to this, but I already know that I'm an immature, pathetic edgelord. There's no need for anyone to point it out.
Why's everyone on this website so hateful? People trying to help others with their social situations just get labelled as normies and get burned to the ground. All we have is each other. Why don't we try to treat the other as decently as possible?
Maybe it makes the daily failures we face easier. Life is simpler if you only surround yourself with people like you and completely block out other opinions.
Which reminds me of something else: SJWs and robots are almost always two sides to the same coin. Hateful, ignorant of outside opinions, quick to label, etc.
>>25831024 Yeah it won't solve anything, you know why? You don't want to repair your relationship, you just want to stay in your hugbox and convince everyone else he's an asshole. Don't talk to him anymore if you don't want to, but your motive is shitty and weak, and is of poor character.
>>25845210 >probably made you go to bed early once They stole my childhood away from me by being so neglectful I had to raise myself and my two siblings. They socially isolated me, took me out of school, moved us into the middle of a god-forsaken desert and trapped me in a house while they screamed night and fucking day, abused our animals to death, beat my little brother despite my attempts to protect him, beat me, tried to withhold my education from me so I was forced to teach myself everything I know, my mother was an alcoholic and addicted to narcotics while my father was an alcoholic coke-head who dealt drugs and tried to make me into an emotionless, competent edgelord that he could live vicariously through. My mother tried to make me as dependent as possible on her, which backfired horribly and made me hate her even more than my father.
They drove my little brother to suicide. They left me with no choice but to leave home as early as I possibly could. They broke my little sister and now she's as vapid and shallow as humanly possible so she can try to cope.
That's not even the full extent of it, I'm just trying to give you an idea of how ridiculous their behavior was.
>Tfw missed out on university with my age group because /stupid/ >Tfw i will never get to enjoy drunk fun times with even a small group of friends >Tfw i will miss out on life experience and growing as a person because im a pathetic loser >Tfw i will have to spend the rest of my life in a shitty low end job because i have no ambition and low IQ
Nearly 20, virgin and never been drunk or close to it.
there will be one day when I just leave it all-- my friends, my job, my family and I'll just run into the world. Gone, at least for a while. It's the only way I'll get to escape this stale life that everyone around me experiences. People are bound to places, but I don't like being bound. I like freedom to the extent that some decisions are impossible for me, and by not deciding a thing I actually decide to not do it. But this decision is taken. For that day I'm preparing. It's away, but it gets sooner each day.
>>25846431 >tfw bipolar and your mania involves spending massive amounts of money on travel and liquor, assaulting people at random, trying to have sex with the dead, not sleeping, not eating, extreme paranoia and crying uncontrollably >tfw my hypomania (lots of energy, sociable, very productive, very confident) only comes once or twice a year at most, if I'm unmedicated >tfw manic episodes come on as frequently as once or twice a month if I'm unmedicated I envy the shit out of you and anyone else who's bipolar and can function off of meds. I would kill to be in your position.
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