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sex stories
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You are currently reading a thread in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001

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Let's have an unlikely /r9k/ sex thread.

Share stories, memories, experiences or lack thereof. All sexualities and fetishes welcome.

>pic semi related, a hyper-idealised version of a girl whose hand I once held.
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>girl invites me to her friends house to drink
>bought me vodka cruisers that tasted like car cleaner
>need to take enormous shit suddenly
>excuse myself for an awkward 10 or so minutes
>make out with girl on couch while shitty horror movies play
>even her mouth tastes like gross vodka
>she's pissed im not drunk
>she goes to bed but doesn't invite me
>i go to sleep on her bed anyway because there's nowhere else
>we cuddled a bit
>rested my arm in between her petite boobs
>could sort of feel their softness
>rested semi hard dick on her butt

furthest i've ever gotten
actually the last action i ever got
>tfw over 4 years since
did her name start with A?
I wrote it out once before but the gist is I gave into my tranny fetish, dropped $200 on the table and was sucking "her" off and she farted.
Total boner/mood killer because it stank like a total fatty/meaty guy fart, it was so strong.
Left 60 seconds later without my money.
No, with a K. She had quite the A, though.
>meet online bf for the first time irl
>i'm picking him up at airport with my parents (we were underage)
>we sit in the back of the car together
>make out and fondle each other non-stop entire car ride
>parents want to stop at burger place to get food
>bf and i stay in car
>we lie down together and get more lewd
>i try to jerk him off a little but it's awkward due to the limited space
>still amazing
>get more and more sexual while still having to be cautious of my parents returning
>when they do, we return to our intense kissums and carressing for the rest of the car ride while whispering lewd things to each other

it was so, so wonderful and amazing, wish i could relive those memories a billion times

Would you go to another tranny?
>exchanged many lewd pictures with a qt that somehow has a fetish for people like me
Irl the only thing close was when a friend's friend hugged everyone for some reason
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tip top kek

>be 14
>on a family road trip
>some muggy night out in the sticks in South Australia
>watching TV and playing Tekken 3 with my little brothers
>family friend drunk bogan girls come home, stomp past us and pass out in the adjecent bedroom
>contrive a reason to go in and check on them
>my primary prey is the chubby one, who is already softly snoring. her giant pale tits squeezed into a tight jumper
>return back to the living room and plan my strategy
>periodically excuse myself to go into the other room, dig into the girl's top and fondle and squeeze her pillowy tits, heart racing, hard as rock
>not sure if she knew because she woke up later and said nothing
>later she beats me at Tekken 3
>never see her again or even remember her name
>be me
>meet grill through WoW guild
>servers down tuesday nights (ausfag)
>grill asks if i want to come over and watch a movie
>show up, shes quite a bit older than she sounded and fat with huge boobs
>whatever, shes pretty cool on vent
>watch movie
>"anon... would you like a blowjob?"
>wut okay whatever, shove down shorts
>cum in her mouth, grope fat boobs

and that brother robots is why i've had a blowjob but have never had a kiss
Lost my faggot lust for them that day.
I'm still a fag, just not a gay fag.
Hairy armpit ruined a true BBW
Shave that shit please
>have gf for 1 year,
>we rarely see each other because she is a little stupid
>never put penis inside vagina but she always gave amazing blowjobs where I could cum in here mouth and she swollowed it
>she always says it has to be the right moment ,and it needs to be romantic
>after coming back from new years party she says she wants to try sex
>I get one condom out of my wallet which I had for 4 years
>put it on my hard cock, so excited I could go inside her vagina
>she spreads her legs and says she is ready
>I try to put it in but it doesnt work because she is a tight cunt
>I push as hard as I can not realizing I have to slide down from the top
>Im about to cum and stop, asking her for another position
>she says "no I want you ontop of me, Im afraid"
>try again, dick is just touching the vagina and Im about to cum
>grab my balls and shaft to stop it
>she says its not working and maybe we should try another time
>I agree, I offer her the ol lickeroo
>she declines and doesnt give me blowjob
>we sleep together
>months later, never tried again and I broke up with her
I'd love to fuck a corpse
>The ol lickeroo
I live this may may

>be with my gf
>kissing and fondling
>she starts to give my a bj
>tell her that I'm about to cum
>starts sucking harder
>cum in her mouth

Pretty much everyday I'm with my gf I get a nice bj
>go to shit party organised by my engineering school
>arrive there and see lone chubby girl sitting on a couch with a bottle in a unicorn costume
>sit down besides her and talk a bit, drink when she passes me the bottle
>go dance for a whole 2 or 3 minutes with her
>break off go do other things
>eventually talk with some guy who's apparently her friend
>tells me to smash her
>try again a bit but doesn't work so I go back to my friends
>sit downstairs by the entrance talking to schoolmates
>about to leave, waiting in line for my jacket when she arrives and asks me if I'm coming
>get a taxi and start kissing her
>fondle her while walking to her home
>forget to put on a condom and awkwardly fuck her for I don't know how long
>cum inside and she falls asleep or pretends
>eventually gets up to do something in the bathroom
>get dressed and leave at 7am

And that's how I lost my V-card
> hairy pits
> "ruined"

This is what normies actually think

>I get one condom out of my wallet which I had for 4 years

Good you didn't actually get to fuck her
>first year in college
>during dorm orientation thing meet a cool hipster girl
>8/10 blonde short dyed hair with pale white skin
>we have a lot of music tastes in common and are both socially awkward
>become somewhat friends with her
>would occasionally go over to her room and try to have some sort of conversation (muh deep talks)
>would try to take her out on long walks through the forest (muh deep personality)
>become slightly infatuated with her
>of course, she does not feel the same
>fast forward a few months
>be in a friend group with her
>i start hanging out with another girl
>suddenly, the first one becomes a lot closer to me
>would lie in the bed with me, hug me tight, kiss my cheeks (>women)
>everyone says she's into me but i don't want to ruin any friendship
>fast forward a few more months to sophomore year
>one night hanging out in her room
>both of us are on the bed, talking and snuggling
>fuck it
>ask her if she wants a massage
>she says yes
>start rubbing her back, not really knowing what the hell i'm doing
>pull up her shirt and rub her naked back, eventually taking it completely off while she lays on her stomach
>start pulling down her pants and rubbing her ass
>at this point I am literally shaking
>completely take off her pants and grab her butt with both my hands (this stopped being a massage a long time ago)
>turn her over
>see her completely naked for the first time and nearly cum in my pants
>ask her if she wants to have sex
>"sorry anon i'm on my period"
>"but I will go down on you"
>gives me a bj and I cum in 20 seconds in her mouth
>spend the rest of the semester occasionally having sex with her
That's the story how I became FWB with the first friend I had in college.
she was on the pill anyway
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this happened this past friday
>girl from work's 21st bday coming up
>we decide to take day off so we can "hang out"
>show up to her house, get some beers,then we rent a hotel
>soon as we go inside jump in bed and start fucking like rabbits
>the whole time her bf is txting and texting, i swear he sent like 100 txts in a span of 10 minutes
>girl checks her phone after we done fucking, dude is leaving voice message on her phone of himself crying telling her its over and shit
>we feel bad.. but keep fucking minutes after
>we feel bad

I chuckled.

This made me feel so, so envious.

>You will never, EVER have a teenage romance
>You will never, EVER be able to go back in time and fix things so you get your first GF at fifteen instead of twenty-one

Fuck my life.
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>20 at the time
>met cute NEET girl at library
>hang out regularly at her place
>eventually we start screwing around
>took her v-card(not gonna lie I was one too and the sex was sloppy)
>we get better
>one time we held off going at it for a week
>both of us are horny as fuck and want to go to pound town
>its the middle of the day so we needed to be quiet or her mom might hear
>fucking her hard as I can because it just felt so damn good
>switch to doggy style so I can kiss her neck while getting a handful of titty
>suddenly door opens
>"I brought you guys som......"
>both me and girl look at her mother
>girl suddenly buries her face in the bed
>feel cock twitch. Don't know what to do so I just smile at her mom(probably looked like a shit eating grin too)
>her mom just closes the door slowly
>we finish and got a lecture about locking doors during sex.
Fuck you asshole, I'm 22 and still alone.
Nah, erry one is different. It's tough but it's best to look forward.
Have friend, absolutely brilliant guy (very intelligent), lost v card at 14. Breaks up with her, never has another GF. 25, alone and works at a pizza restaurant.
He wishes he'd waited

You're a beta cuck provider bro

Save yourself while there's still time

Maybe it's different for everyone. For me I may have a GF who loves me and has sex regularly with me, but I still feel like an /r9k/ virgin.

I honestly think it's because I identify as a virgin, despite not being one. Not being sexually active in my teens permanently warped my brain.
>be 18
>in second month of college
>have been flirting casually with a milf i've known since i was 14
>she invites me to come see her for a weekend (7 hour drive)
>make the trip, spend most of the night telling short stories and drinking vodka
>she keeps scooting closer to me and rubs her hand on my thigh
>i become somewhat flusted but get the courage to lock lips with her
>find myself rubbing on her wide hips and gripping her plump ass
>head to the bedroom, within minutes she's on her knees and i've got my hands locked tight on her hips
>several minutes of a variable pace and it starts tingling
>she can feel it throbbing inside her and tells me to cum inside
>lose control, unload several thick loads until it is leaking out and dripping down the back of her legs
>she cradles my head in her bosom because i'm spent, it was only the second time i had sex
I ruined a good thing. Oh well :DDDDD
I almost penetrated a girl in February 2014. I went limp JUST as I was about to enter. She said it was ok and started kissing my neck but I just grimaced and she went to text her friends or whatever in the bathroom for 20 minutes. The bedsheets were soaked because I was sweating so bad. Eventually I got dressed and walked home at 5am. Only romantic experience in my life so far.
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>>feel cock twitch. Don't know what to do so I just smile at her mom(probably looked like a shit eating grin too)

you madman
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Anyone else think BDSM is pure degeneracy? I mean, it's not an envy thing or anything, I have a gf and great sex about 3 times a week. It's more of a philosophical thing really.
>be me 16 few years ago
>parents out of town
>older brother has his fat gf and her qt friend over
>i'm just hanging out up in my room alone enjoying some maplestory and music
>i go out to the kitchen to grab a drink
>qt girl is out there playing with the dog
>i awkwardly say hi and ask what she's doing
>she says my brother and his gf are downstairs in his room alone
>i offer to hang out with her
>she smiles and says sure
>she is sort of an alt girl, not emo but similar style, just the right amount of chub big ass and nice tits
>we hang out all night talking about random stuff
>she likes and plays video games
>we watch the same tv shows
>spend some time walking around outside under the moonlight having fun
>eventually it's like 3AM, decide to go to bed
>she asks if she can borrow a pair of my boxers to wear to bed
>shit i didn't do laundry
>hand her the best pair of boxers i have from years ago
>she goes into the bathroom to change and comes out with them on, they're too small for her big ass
>i'm drooling at this point
>says we should go sleep in my bed
>o-okay yeah yeah
>we turn the tv on and she fall asleep watching some shit
>i'm wide awake, heart pounding, dick hard as i watch her sleep
>pull down pants and look at her big ass
>start jerking furiously
>blow a load all over her ass and she twitches when it lands on her
>i freak out and am frozen
>she never wakes up
>fall asleep and wake up later and she says she has to go at like 8AM

What's pretty strange is I ran into her at a party with my current girlfriend of 2 years about 2 months ago. She and my current gf knew each other and started talking as I stood awkwardly by drinking some soda. The qt recognized me and gave me a hug and said she remembered me. I felt very strange, because I loved my gf but I always wondered what may have been if i ever made the slightest effort to contact the qt.

has anyone had a similar situation? I know that i should stay with my current gf but i wonder.
like really what the hell was I supposed to do? I was balls deep in her daughter. You can't say anything that would make that less awkward.
More the merrier?
>move home from other side of the planet
>text a friend who I had a 'fight' with while gone
>we meet up and she's prettier than ever (never really was attracted to her before)
>go to my house after getting breakfast
>watching netflix, end up cuddling
>"this is weird why are we doing this?"
>I agree but know she wants to
>she goes home
>see her a week later
>same thing happens, except this time she asks to kiss
>end up making out
>she says we should never do that again, but I know we will
>she goes home
>week later, we hang out again
>go rollerskating, make out in the car
>go home, makeout on some back road
>go inside, sit away from each other
>move closer, makeout again
>she starts crying, says she had flashbacks
>I comfort her and take her home
>fast forward to Friday
>we hang out, get pizza, eat in the car
>head to my house, talk in the car for a bit
>end up making out, touching, etc.
>drive to same back road as before
>I suck on her tits and she gives me a blowjob

The end. Pretty much details all my sexual experience... I had kissed one other girl before this but didn't make out with her.
I was a KV 4 months ago
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Failed opportunities are the worst.
>Be me
>Get invited to party at some normies house
>Stay until late
>Only me, my bro and two girls left
>Somehow we decide to sleep over
>There's only two beds available
>Naturally, I should share bed with my bro
>Turns out one of the girls is a homophobe
>Says she could never share bed with another girl as it grosses her out
>She asks if she can switch places with my bro instead
>We agree
>Think my chance has finally come
>Go to bed with her
>Bed is pretty big
>tfw she turns away from me and literally lays as far away as possible
>tfw I don't have the guts to initiate any way
>tfw my bro banged the other girl
No. Now fuck off, you drakeposting faggot.

I'll be over here getting a rimjob from my barely legal gf that makes me call her Mommy and takes hormones to be able to breastfeed me.
this thread is just awful. like how shit can all of your luck be that you get to making out and then never get in that shit?
lol what the fuck is wrong with you

you could have smashed that you retard. but you jerked off instead hahahaha
Yeah I feel the same senpai. The kind of people that partake in it have unresolved mental issues
> pick up girl from her house
> drive around looking for a secluded spot
> find one
> sex
> flashing lights approaching my car
> we're still in the back seat
> I only managed to put on my underwear
> door opens
> "What the fuck are you doing here?!"
> "Get the hell out of here!"
> Can I put my shirt on at least?
> "You wanna get arrested?! Get the hell out of here! NOW!"
> Step out. I'm taller than the cop, get into driver's seat.
> Cop still shouting despite the fact that I already turned the car on
> Can't see shit, driving away shirtless
> Cop still following us for more than a mile

I shouldn't have ignored LED road message signs: "Police patrolling in area"
that's nice tbhfam
>keep going
>'you want grandkids? Stop being such a bitch'

i was young and stupid. honestly i know it 100% sounds like she was coming onto me, but at the moment and even in hindsight, her general body language and tone suggested she was basically friendzoning me.
>senior year of high school
>physics class
>class is arranged sp there are pairs of people sitting together in like 3 columns of pairs
>pair up with a huge qt
>she's also the sister of one of my friends
>I was a fucking normie with no sense of self worth during middle and high school
>other friends in the class lie to me and tell me that she likes me
>think to self, fuck it, ask for her number
>she agrees, we date
>we date for 6 months and I fall in love
>we've done things by now but she was saving sex until she was sure
>slightly after 1 year of being together she agrees to have sex with me
>it's awkward, condom didn't fit right
>might have rolled it on wrong?
>I can't cum due to condom and fear of making her bleed or hurt
>whatever, meet up again in like 2 more days, have own condoms and brought lube in case
>amazing mindblowing sex, do it twice while her brother and parents are gone
>fast forward to us being together for nearly 4 years
>we go to the same college and I'm graduating this semester
>I am ready to commit myself fully to her, have been for a while
>she breaks up with me, says I'm her "endgame" and that she will come back, but she needs to be single and go on dates with other people before she dies regretting she missed out on that
>don't feel the same way because love
>she wants to date some loser from work
>he's worse looking, has no motivation (works at a deli, doesn't go to school), literally cannot see what anyone would find desirable in him over me
>friends and family agree and a few have been calling her out for being so shitty to me
>obviously this fucks with me hard

And that's my life now

The silver lining is I'm going on a date tomorrow with a ridiculously attractive girl, like I'm batting way the fuck out of my league imo
On that note, I think I'll expand on this a little..

Not green texting because I'm posting from my phone and I'm too lazy.

Be me
35, overweight, balding like belding
Go on whisper-like app for Android
Post that I'm old, fat and sexually inexperienced, looking for younger(legal) girls to talk to
Get a reply from a girl a week from 18
Start talking, she asks for my kik
Don't have one, so I make one really fast
Exchange pictures
8/10 qt3.141592653
Talk for a while. She asks why I'm looking for young girls
Explain that women my age want a ring and a baby because if they have neither by 35 people think there's something wrong with them
Fast forward to her birthday
She gets drunk with friends
Messages me on kik asking if she can come over
Her friends drop her off
She kisses me the second I close the door
Tells me she has a secret
Can only cum if she's in charge
Tell her to use me
Rest of the night spent doing all kinds of crazy shit like she wants me to cum in her hair while she tongue fucks my asshole
Eventually she tells me to call her Mommy
She has full on age play/wincest fetish
Now get breastfed daily and get my asshole licked and fingered while I jerk off
Still never penetrated her
18 months later.
Turns out she's never had sexual intercourse
Asks me if I'll be her boyfriend and be the first to fuck her pussy and asshole
Hell yes.png
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Women are absolute shit at showing interest and intentions.
Men literally have to ignore all signals and just take a chance when the opportunity arises.

The only time where you can actually tell that a girl isn't interested is if you're texting her.
Don't even give her the time of day. Sad that people want to go out and fuck everything that walks instead of have a serious relationship. Selfish.
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>be me, kid 11 or 12
>have cutie blonde gf for the meme
>it started getting more serious
>we play kissing games and make out
>I break up with her for reasons I don't remember

Fast forward 8-9 years
>no girl action, just awkward flirting and conversations
>Last day of school, everybody goes out drinking
>End up making out with this chubby girl, again for the meme (she had a bf, and she told me how her bf would let her make out with other people because he didn't care. So I said to her "let's make out" and we did)

That's all.
Lol you made out with a fat whore who had a guy. Both you and the boyfriend are pathetic cucks
>"Oh wow, she actually waited with having sex"
>"Maybe it doesn't always have to end bad"
>Breaks up because she wants to ride the cock carousel

I'm really sorry to hear that, anon.
Good luck with the new girl.
I'm not really a cuck desu, but I see what you mean. I was drunk and I would never do that shit sober.
before i go into my story i'd like to tell you i don't have autism or anything, i was just a dumb kid.

Day 1 of my school trip to london

>be 14yo me
>be on school trip to london
>i have this one teacher, she's not even hot, to most people she's a 4/10, she's 35 and has a massive ass, not a nice big tight ass, like a big, fat ass, but she wasn't fat
>only teacher that's paying attention to me, that actually seems to care about my education
>she's in charge of my group so i'm around her 8hrs/day
>constantly have to hide boner
>first day goes alright, walk right behind her the whole day so i can see her ass
>that night in the showers (which were private, but you couldn't lock the doors, we slept in some shit motel) start jerking off as soon as people leave
>softly moan her name as i get close to cumming
>someone comes into the showers, at this point i cum buckets while moaning the teachers name
>peak through the stall door, it's some other teacher, this massive landwhale yells that i'm pervert and i should be ashamed, she lets me know i have to be out of the showers in 5 minutes or i'll be locked in there all night
>clean up and run to my room, as i want to enter my room the landwhale yells my name and calls me over
>tells me she's going to have to tell the teacher i have a crush on that i jerked off for her
>don't believe her, even if she did, there's no one who would believe her

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>tfw only sexual experience is being molested by a another guy
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Day 2 of my school trip to london.

>wake up, brush my teeth, get dressed, the normal shit
>have breakfast with the other kids, it tastes like actual shit, you britbongs are the worst cooks in the world
>pack my bag for the second day, before i get out the previously mentioned landwhale teacher pulls me aside, again
>tells me she told the teacher with the massive ass what i did and that i'd have to transfer groups
>tell her she has the wrong person and that i'm staying in mrs.massive ass's group
>"anon i know it was you, you were the only one not in your room at that time!"
>tell her again it wasn't me, eventually she let's go of the whole situation but tells me she's keeping an eye out on me
>IDGAF i get to look at the teacher's massive ass for the rest of the day
>we walk around london, go to the london eye, i get to sit in one of the spheres alone with my teacher
don't get your hopes up, think logically, there's no way a 14year old gets to fuck a 35year old, anyway the cringe starts soon.
>talk to her about london and shit, she's obsessed with britain so i pretend to be aswell
>notice i get hard, so i hide it under my baggy shirt
>that reminded her of what the landwhale told her
>"anon, is it true what mrs. landwhale said?"
>pretend like i don't know what she's talking about
>she let's it go and we just enjoy the ride, i have to admit, the view is really nice
>walk through london the rest of the day, looking at my teachers ass, "accidentally" bump into her a few times
>overall it was a pretty good day, had another amazing fap session that night

cont. cringy conclussion will be in the next post
>none of this stuff has ever happened to me
I've done nothing sexual with women

killing myself atm
Day 3 of my school trip to london.

>repeat morning routine
>proceed to eat the literal shit these britbongs are forcefeeding me
>today, the last day of the trip, the teachers decide to give the kids some free time
>my friends know i have a crush on this teacher, so they all run away before i even notice they're gone
>tell my teacher my don't have anyone to walk around with
>go with teacher
>we walk around in the british equivalent of wallstreet
>she wants to do some shopping, i'm bored but atleast i get to stare at her ass some more
>arrive at some store, i forgot what kind of store it was, she looks around a bit, and then i hear her
>"hey anon, can you come over here for a second?"
>when i arrive she's standing in one of those fitting stalls with the curtain covering her body
>she asks me if i wanna keep an eye out so nobody enters her fitting stall while she's in there
>"sure mrs. massive ass, no problem!"
>i stand there for a good 15 minutes, every 2 minutes she comes out with a new outfit, non of them are sexy, non of them compliment her ass, at all
>eventually my horniness takes over my brain, i decide to peak into the stall
>caught a glanse of her nipple and her amazing ass
>do this 2 times before i go crazy, i pull away the curtains, enter the fitting stall pulling the curtains closed again behind me
> she's like half naked, she has her panties on and a sweater
>decide to just fucking go for it
>grab her ass and give it a squeeze and try to kiss her
>i'm too short so i kiss her neck, she slaps me and says she couldn't believe mrs. landwhale was telling the truth
>she pushes me out of the stall, gets dressed, leaves all the clothes behind, storms out of the stall, grabs my hand and pulls me out of the store
>tells me that i can't do that again, that that was a very bad thing to do, yada yada yada, tells me she's gonna have to tell my parents
>beg her not to, ends up still doing it


and that's the story about how i sexually assaulted my teacher at the age of 14
no regrets, i stole 3 pairs of used panties, a bra, and i squeezed my teachers massive ass, i'm happy.
i did get grounded for 2 weeks, i got a pat on the back from my good friends but i got made fun of a bit for being a "massive ass ugly teacher lover"

all of them in the correct order:
>>this post
Why the fuck did "t b h" get swapped with desu? that's gay

The good part is now I have a colder heart. I don't think it can be any more broken so the only way to go is up.

Thanks for the kind words and not ridiculing me :/ I'm still fucking sore over this since it's not even a week old yet

>Sexually assault woman
>Grounded for two weeks
actually, netherland.
A girl once huged me then we held hands going back to camp.
Also, it sucks because like... I'm not a fucking Chad or anything but I'm a solid catch. I'm tall, attractive, and have a career lined up for me in summer. But this fucking other guy is like actually not worth shit.

I'm convinced she's just fucking dumb. It doesn't help that two of her coworkers are homewrecking fucks who she admitted encouraged her and (I think) quite honestly planted the idea for her to do this.

Alright enough fucking bitching. I'm going to see a movie with the family now
At least you got trips. Seriously bud don't worry, can happen anytime. Don't self kill just yet!
Did you still hang out with this girl? She sounds insane. Glad you got blown but you should stay away from that broad senpai.
I have a really hard time getting emotionally attached to women because of stories just like yours.

Well as you said, what happened doesn't matter anymore. You can just move on and take the experience with you.
Enjoy the movie!

>go on 4chan related chats
>meet a girl from 4chan
>decide to hang out because happen to be in proximity
>hang out, shes hitting on me
>ask to hang out 2 days later
>shes REALLY hitting on me
>get a handjob behind a homeless persons tent on a jogging track later that day
>cant get erect because scared of hobo or being seen, can see joggers everywhere

she has a boyfriend now i think, shame, she was actually pretty cool.
Back in hs there was this girl who was a real bitch. One day we had enough of her and decided to teach her a lesson. We grabbed her and stripped her naked and tied her up in front of the class. Her face looked so red and adorable. She was filled with shame the rest of the year.
That's the closest for me, sadly
>be 8
>6 or 7 am in the morning on a saturday
>stole candy from my parents and snuck outside to play pokemon yellow and eat said candy in the park
>a dark skinned fella on a bike turns up
>"Hey man you should totally go to the secluded daycare over there"
>naive 8 year old me goes to the daycare
>another dark skinned fella's waiting for me
>calls me over
>pulls out a blanket from his backpack
>tells me to drop my pants, I comply
>he rips my briefs off
>tells me to lie down on the blanket
>I remember the drilling, burning sensation up my anus, extremely painful
>he continues to rape the literal shit out of me
>keeps asking me to relax and telling me it's soon going to be over
>I continue to level my fat lil' pikachu
>go home, tell no one

And that is the story of how I lost my virginity. The bike-guy actually found me later the same day and apologized, wat. My ass was destroyed for like a week after.
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>/r9k/ fetish thread
>Ctrl + F Diapers
>no results

>first high school gf, ugly face but decent body and very short, I was 17 and she was 15
>after a couple shitty dates shes in my bedroom
>do some foreplay because that's what the internet told me to do
>she undresses revealing her tiny wet pussy
>I flip out my cock and put a condom on
>she stares looking somewhat worried and says "Gee its pretty big" (I'm 7x5.5)
>I say "don't worry I'll go real slow"
>stick it in half way and do slow short thrusts
>she moans really loud
>at this point I feel like I'm the fucking pussy slayer with how much she loves it
>push a little deeper
>her moans turn into screams, then yells at me to get it out
>I pull out as she recoils
>oh shit
>she starts crying
>I awkwardly try comfort her and fail
>she gets dressed and leaves
>try talk to her next day, she stopped responding to my calls and texts and avoided me at school

We pretty much broke up by avoiding each other, she didn't even try break it off through a text. I doubt it was just because of my big cock though, my lack of people skills would have ruined it anyway.
>feel good because I started to get more definition
>head out to this club with foamers going by
>start making out with this one chick feelsgoodman.jpg
>realize the foam isn't allowing me to see to well
>oh well
>start fingering her right there
>she gets off and I soon realize what she looks like
>ugly ass 3/10 fat chick
>fucking a
> realize from her look at me she feels the same about my looks
>say I'm going to grab some water.
>I leave in an autismo rage
Haha hell yah. I luv WOW bruh
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>be me, 15
>fingering gf one night in her bed
>she's fucking wet and cums
>we cuddle
>"i'm feeling so good right now, i could do everything you would ask me to anon"
>"kek, jump over your window"
>"that's not what i mean"
>not getting it, smiling like a retard
>we breaked up a few month laters for another reason
>get it
>mfw when still virgin
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>be me
>be 10
>feel the need to fuck something, but can't because I'm a young little shit
>guess I'll try jerking off
>finally hit the climax
>shit was spiritual
>jerk off like a madman for the next month

Eight years later I can make a complete straight face while finishing. This is fucking bullshit.

kinda same here:

>went with a girl from my class and a male friend of us to the dude's house
>she has a bf
>i am driving
>she is sitting on the passenger seat
>"accidentally" her hands lands on my leg
>started watching a movie
>pretty cold there
>she and I are under my coat on the couch
>dude is separated
>he falls asleep
>she starts touching me
>rests her head on my shoulder
>thinking wtf is this
>decided to go friend's parents' bed
>take clothes off
>t-shirt and underwear
>just laying there
>she moves close to me
>starts spooning
>boner again
>she feels it for sure
>wondering if I should do something
>we fall asleep
>wake up
>drive home

Happened exactly a year ago. I'm still a kissless virgin. She moved away, I moved away and the last time I talked to a girl was in September.
If only women could take the lead every once in a while so that you could build the confidence to do so yourself

oh my god, top kek m8
these sort of threads make me want to kill myself. please make them stop

yeah, anon. I did not want to ruin the friendship because she has a BF but I wonder why would she do flirt with me like that
And what the fuck did that mean. I'm married with two kids... I don't get what that fucking mean.s
She probably wanted your dick, but her taking the first step would make her feel like a whore.
If you had initiated, she could just tell herself that she got caught up in the moment.

Seems reasonable. I wish it went further, but at the same time I do not. Whatever. I felt like I needed to get it off my chest since I do not have anybody to tell this IRL.
Well on the bright side, if there's one girl who wants you then there are definately others who do as well.
>girl from my past that moved away messages me and says she's in town
>going to my grandfather's for father's day, somehow convince her to tag along
>smoke, drink, have a good time
>she seems really into me, definitely a sure thing
>drink some more
>keep drinking even more
>begin making out, she asks if there's a spare room
>foreplay begins
>more drunk than i've ever been, can't feel my dick anymore, shit's limp as could be
>didn't really have sex and haven't had another experience with a female since (this was 2 years ago)
>homeless at 18
>stole a bike, riding it around after the Fourth of July fair ended and the crowds are dispersing
>meet thick qt who was also a few inches taller than me, curly hair and glasses
>talk to her, she's a bit geeky and seems genuinely surprised and flattered by my attention, she's an 18 year old Dutch girl working in the US as an au pair
>go on a date, we're sitting next to each other on a rock and we start kissing
>I grab her butt and struggle to pull her on top of me, she gets self conscious that she's too heavy for me, laughs and says "its alright"
>stands up, faces me, and leans into me so my face is in her tits, she's holding it there too
>she says "you know I've never had sex before"
>muffled response: I haven't either
>laughs, says "it never really occurred to me to have sex, I guess. or maybe I was just waiting for my scrawny American boy"
>pushes me down (it's a beach at night) and sits on my face, I eat da pussy
>then she sits on my dick but we stop pretty quick because it hurt her
>it hurt me too desu but I didn't care
>one of the last things she said was "you're so tiny!!! xd"

muh dick
>tfw girl kicked me out of her house at 4 am after I couldn't keep an erection
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>shit retail job which I got shortly after I got kicked out when I turned 18
>1 year in
>17 year old girl joins part-time
>she's 8/10, 180cm, blonde hair and blue eyes
>"Wow, you're so tall, anon"
>"You live alone already? That's so cool"
>She began using the till next to mine more often
>She began flirting
>She asked for my phone number
>She starts waking up at 3 AM just to text me as I prepare and go to work.
>Fast forward 2 months
>Invite her for a beer after work, she agrees
>I spilled my beer on her
>we hug and part some 30 minutes later
>1 week later she mentions she has a boyfriend
>I stop texting her
>"Hey, why are you not responding"
>"You're driving me insane, please, I don't want to lose you."
>"I broke up with him, it got to the point where he shoved his hand down my pants every time we met"
>We meet up in hyde park and make out and hug on the grass for 2 hours.
>We try to have sex a few weeks later
>I couldn't get it up properly
>could barely put on the condom
>Blowjob didn't do anything
>She didn't accept the lickers
>We had very different schedules, we met only once or twice a week.
>She's literally the only contact I chat with on my phone and the only person I have left in my life while she's a social butterfly with a shitton of friends
>I realize how sad this is
>I break up with her a few weeks after
>She is visibly upset
>Guy tells me she's spreading rumors at work about how I'm an asshole casanova that sleeps with too many girls at once
>She's clueless to the fact that she's the only woman I've ever touched
>I switched to another branch and I completely cut off contact last November.
>mfw I get this text shortly after new year's eve

The only text I've received so far this year, and probably the last.

Extremely jealous
>tfw will never have a nervous college love
>tfw will never have an extremely nerve racking sexual experience that actually pays off
>tfw will never get to give a girl a naked massage
this is a lie. this probably happened to you though. you were the guy sending the text messages and the endless calls. i can hear your sobs my friend.

Maybe. Most likely not.

Girls never been interested in me, and I have known her for about 4 years now. However, started talking to her just last Fall. It kinda clicked right away and I was really happy that I finally had a female friend that I could talk shit with. She even likes cars. I mean, she's got tons of friends, but..

This is the end, anon.
>Most likely not
On the contrary, if one female find you attractive somehow then it's very likely that others would as well since female attraction works pretty much the same for all of them.
Unless you hit that one in a million jackpot and blew it.

Ofcourse you want to talk about her if she's the only girl you've ever had a chance with, that's pretty natural.
I still think about potential girls all the time, even though nothing ever comes out of it.
>i'm picking him up at airport with my parents (we were underage)
>we return to our intense kissums and carressing for the rest of the car ride
WTF is wrong with your parents

>jerking off and has a sex drive

I guess I should stop cuddling my little brother and showing him my ass to be funny, right?

I don't know how girls work so I will take the word. You seem like an experienced anon.

Yeah, same here, potential girls, haha. Forgot how many of those I have had over the years...

There was this girl in my HS class. Been crushing on her throughout the years, used to chat frequently the first two years and then it all sort of went away.

After the end of school I messaged her how's she doing, etc., and she said to me that we should go on a trip together. I was like, holy shit nigga is this real, so I told her to contact me once she's back home. Well, that never happened. Met her in a restaurant few months later and brought it up. She was sorry and all that BS and that I should not worry and that we'll go at the end of the month.

Never happened.

You got a GF?
>Girl on Tinder messages me.
>She seems really eager to talk to me for some reason
>She's qt and through talking she reveals she has really big tits and is also a virgin.
>Talk for the next two weeks, really start to like her.
>She reveals that she broke up with her boyfriend a few days before she first started messaging me but swears that I wasn't a rebound.
>We meet up and mess around but she doesn't want to have sex.
>For the next two months talk with her every night and meet up with her every week or so where we just mess around, but she never wants me to cum for some reason.
>She lets me put "Just the tip in" but nothing more, yet still wants me to thrust and shit (Seriously not really possible).
>She tells me that she'd made her ex cum plenty of times but not me (feels good)
>About two months after we started talking she's clearly getting bored of me.
>Says we were never going out to begin with and "dumps" me.

and that's my history of relationships.
She clearly felt bad about it to be fair but she was definitely using me.

This was nearly a year ago. I'm 22 now and nothing since then really except one date with a girl who left after an hour and another girl who cancelled on me.

I don't really care anymore now though.
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>drive gf to my house from college
>we're staying at my parents for the weekend
>we're horny as shit and start fucking like IMMEDIATELY as we get to my room
>sex on a chair with a blanket over top of us just in case
>sister walks in
>OH SHIT.jpg
>we stop moving, gf is just sitting on my lap
>we're both clothed from the waist up so my sister can't tell
>gf has awkward conversation with my sister while I just sit there with my dick inside my gf
>sister walks out
>look at gf, laugh, then fuck her till I finish

she was a horny bitch, and left me for reasons I still don't know, but hell if fucking her wasn't 10/10 sometimes
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>Guy tells me she's spreading rumors at work about how I'm an asshole casanova that sleeps with too many girls at once
Sounds like she's doing you a favor
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That's fucking hilarious

>You seem like an experienced anon.
I guess, but I couldn't really learn anything from it until I discovered r9k. You'd be surprised at how much useful stuff there is here.

>I told her to contact me once she's back home.
>Well, that never happened
Why do girls keep suggesting you do stuff together but then back off?

>You got a GF?
Nope, I blow all my chances due to being too spergy.
It's really embarrassing how many times you can fuck up.
Got stories if interested.
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>be freinds with a slut in high school
>like she's literally the town bike having sex with guys and girls
>she's also super hot, easily 9/10
>one day we're hanging out
>I somehow blurt out how I never had any female contact and how I'll becoem a wizard
>'lol anon what do you mean'
>explain to her the concept of wizardry, how I never even touched a girl etc.
>week later she has sex with me out of pity
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>She lets me put "Just the tip in" but nothing more
You should have thrusted it all deep inside and busted all kinds of nuts.
Actually, I bet that's what she wanted. Some kinda weird rape fetish.

Yeah, r9k is one of the better places on 4chan, hah.

Do tell some stories.
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had sex 5 times tonight, gf wore my sweater; watched hp movies in between sex went to sleep, wake up to find my gf snuggling my arm looking at me, have sex again
well considering this happened Friday, yes. She is kinda insane but so am I so it's okay.

>be me 16 years old (i'm 20 now)

>cute girl i know for a while but i always had a girlfriend so didn't do anything

>when i'm single she has a black boyfriend

>when i hung out with her she always told me he didn't jack off for his 'testosterone level'

>sex really sucked because of this because he always came too early

>2weeks later, field trip with school

>it's 2days with sleeping

>me and my mates have smuggled some booze inside

>after we have gone tot the bathroom and go back see her drinking from the booze

>be mad but kiss her

>later when everybody is in bed she sends i love you

>after a while of texting we decide to go fuck in the shower downstairs

>start fucking pretty akwardly with sentences like "no you put it in"

>feels good, both moaning like animals

>hear some sound behind me



>super akward ride home with mom

>next day her parents, my parents, all teachers all students and her boyfriend know


don't ask, jesus lord
go on senpai
original content don't mute pls
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Posted this one before, but I just can't get over it.

>Be me at party
>End up alone with a girl in a room
>She suddenly starts going through the drawers
>Ask her what she's doing
>She gets all giggly and says that she's looking for condoms
>Assume that she wants to use them with some Chad
>Tell her that it's rude to go through other peoples stuff and leave
>tfw it took months before I realised she might have wanted to fuck me
>getting a handjob from a stripper I was dating
>my legs are spread and she's kneeling in between them
>haven't cum in a week and she is teasing/edging the hell out of me because she knows how long it's been for me, she was really into that
>she finally does the move that gets me off
>can feel a volcanic eruption rivaling the power of Yellowstone building up in my dick
>cum with the force of a thousand suns
>several huge ropes of cum all over my face and hair
>she starts laughing her ass off as soon as it happens
>one of the top 5 orgasms of my life so don't give a fuck about giving myself a Peter North facial
>she licks it off, we cuddle for awhile and then we shower together

>a week later i go shopping with a friend of mine

>guess who we run into

>her boyfriend starts trying to punch me butmy friend (she's a girl jumps between us)

>pussy out and run away

>later on a group of my friends is there

>we see him in the distance

>my friends except for one go looking for him

>the dude comes from the other side with his friends

>starts yelling at me like a monkey

>run into a girls store

>he starts hitting me in the store

>suddenly a random mudslime jumps between us

>he asks me what i have done to deserve this

>seems to not care at all

>says to call him if the nigger ever bothers me again

>the nigger never bothered me again

You faggot! Oh my God.
What's wrong with you? Checked btw

>tfw bbw giantess fetish
Too autist to be able to read social and sexual cues. It's a big problem with many here.

That said, here's my own big failing:

>In high school
>Was friends with a girl since sophomore year who clearly wanted me to ask her out but I didn't realize it at the time, because I was too busy beta-orbiting someone else
>I was doing some work as part of my entrepreneurship course and had a master key
>Girl comes up to me at lunch and says she forgot something in the Physics class, wanted me to let her in
>Let her in, she shuts the door behind us
>Instead of getting what I thought she was going to she starts clearing stuff off the teacher's desk, and then strips down to her bra and panties
>They were black and her tits were fucking great
>I'm standing there stunned and she walks over and starts hugging me
>First thing that comes to my mind is "we can't do this, I don't have a condom"
>"Just pull out silly, we'll clean things up later" she says and then starts kissing me on the lips
>Instead of, you know, kissing her back and then pulling my clothes off and leading her to the desk, I pull away and say in the nerdiest and dumbest way possible "But I'll get in big trouble if anyone comes in here!"
>Never mind the fact it was lunch and nobody would be there for like another 45 minutes
>I think at that moment something came over her and she must've thought "Why the fuck am I doing this?"
>She started tearing up and quickly pulled her clothes on and left
>From that point on I was called a faggot by like 90% of the guys and many of the girls

This is painful to read, my friend. Oh my.

I hope you have learned your lesson!

The most painful part was knowing I also would have bitched out if the same thing happened to me
there is no winning here

those who follow the rules are always caught when they decide to break them. A teacher would've come by, or another girl, or something.
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>be me
>have 9" black dick
>never kissed
>never held hands
>never been invited out
>never hugged
>never had female who wanted to talk/be around me
>escorts don't see black men
>find r9k
>don't talk about my race
>enjoy being in the presence of fellow virgins
>reddit floods in and suddenly every other thread is "fembot feels" or some tripfag circlejerk
>see threads about these small dick autists getting blowjobs and gfs
>just want to kill myself even more

Pic unrelated
Yeah, it was a combination of being too scared and being an autist.

She was a very attractive girl and had boyfriends in the past, and was not a virgin. If I had to "rank" her I'd say she was probably 8/10, but the problem with me is that I was so hung up on a 9/10 girl that wouldn't give me the time of day let alone want to sleep with me.

She wouldn't talk to me after that even when I tried to apologize, and I basically ruined the rest of my senior year.

Really, I should've just kissed her back and had sex with her. It wasn't a trap or anything, this girl generally liked me and had enough of waiting so she made the first and extremely drastic move. The image of her in her underwear right in front of me is burned in my mind even all these years later.

There really wasn't much risk in getting caught, there was never anyone there at lunchtime even in the hallways outside. I was just looking for excuses to not do it even though I clearly wanted to.

I also nearly bailed years later when I went to an FKK club, once I was behind closed doors with a girl and looking at the bed, but I had enough sense not to there.
fucking normie scum wizarsds forever
You're a closeted faggot. Sorry apenon.
>tfw there's literal porn on the catalog but nothing gets me as hard as reading these stories

I'm sure you guys already saw this thread but it was a pretty good fap. Thought I should post it here.
How am I faggot?
I don't like dudes or traps or futas or whatever.
You faggots LITERALLY talk about black dick like every 5 posts

How's it now with the girl that wanted you?
I have no idea because I haven't seen or spoken with her since then.

Really I think every single person has one big moment in their life that'll determine from that point on if you're going to be a normie or not. And this was mine.

That's true. People always learn the most when they fuck up.

I'll be 20 this year so hopefully I've got many years in front of me.

"...and at this point, Jackson knew he fucked up."
>Girl thinks she can get whatever she wants
>Guy denies it to her
>She starts crying
I dunno man, you sound like a fucking hero to me even if you didn't intend to.
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>"Just pull out silly, we'll clean things up later"
Keked hard picturing you cleaning up afterwards.

>tfw it's actually common for guys to assume that it's some kind of prank, even when she pulls her clothes off.
brb becoming homeless holy shit
Me too when I really think of it. How would I have cleaned the cum, stickiness and smell off the desk? And it would've been on the desk because there's no way I'd have been able to pull out and run halfway across the room to jerk off into the trash can in time.

And yeah stuff like this usually IS a prank from horror stories I've read (including here) but in my case it really wasn't.
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This one pains me.
>At female friends house
>"Hey anon, I'm gonna change. I'll be in the bathroom so don't come in there"
>Assume that lock is broken
>Wait for her to change
>Takes forever
>Assume that she's taking a shit
>Wait until she comes out like half an hour later
>"Damn you girls take long changing your clothes"
>"Yeah, sorry. And I just realised I forgot to lock the door"
>tfw lock wasn't broken
>tfw she wanted me to come in there
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>And it would've been on the desk because there's no way I'd have been able to pull out and run halfway across the room to jerk off into the trash can in time.
My fucking sides.

Anyway, she probably wanted you to finish in her mouth.
No, no she didn't.
But keep being an autistic dumbass
>Tell someone to not come in even though there is a lock
>Intentionally don't lock the door
How do you not draw that line?
>He wishes he'd waited
You dont wish for what makes many people kill themselves.
>tfw dad paid our maid to have sex with me and show me the ropes when I hit puberty

Thanks dad. Glad mom never found out, she'd have flipped.
Glad I could make you laugh, I even laughed myself a bit even though what I told was the worst day of my life.

I must have lived through that day in my mind a million times since that day and the only logical thing to have done there was to have sex. I know some people would probably tell me that I "did the right thing" but it really doesn't feel that way, especially with how I've turned out (robot with next to no social interaction, only sex is with FKK club prostitutes).
>Meet qt tall blonde
>we see each other frequently by a bog white mansion in the neighbourhood
>this mansion is huge
>it has big shark statue, we are both really interested in this thing, becouse, fucking marble shark statue, wtf
>start to talk one day
>dont remember what we were talking about
>suddenly we're going together to ours destination, where that was, idk
>suddenly holding hands, feels good
>dont have any idea what is happening
>rain incoming
>we run together
>we're in love
>there is fucking Scrooge McDuck in our way
>pass him by, he just stands there
>some other shit happens, dont remember
>wake up

Fuck me, and my dreams. I feel like sleeping is the best way to love and be loved now.
sorry for typos, shit keyboard
Gonna need that whole story in greentext
My dick desires it
Did your mom ever find out?

>has a maid
Can I borrow $500?
Can't greentext any one time since it was an ongoing thing he paid her to do for two years. Mom never found out as far as I know.

If you want money ask my parents, I'm broke.
Can you greentext the first time?
Also add in all the details about this maid.
Age, race, weight, height, accent, etc.
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Put your cock away.
My penis is in it's chastity cage.
I wouldn't fap now anyways, my wife's son is over.
She needed me to babysit while she went to tutor Tyrone and his brothers
Bumping for more awkward robot sex stories
I have a story about a threesome of a sort if you guys are interested, but it's kinda long. Care to hear it?
You... Identify as a virgin?
Post that shit.
Maidfucker didn't post anything baka
I met a girl who used to tripfag on /r9k/ and /cgl/. We used to chat over skype about our mental issues and our lives generally. She ended up introducing me to a woman who shared a lot of my issues. I ended up having sex with this girl. I decided to be incredibly sexually aggressive with her and treated her awfully. I spat at her. I choked her. I drank alcohol whilst fucking and then spat it into her face. She claims that I'm the best fuck she's ever had and now we're in a FwB type relationship.
Why are you still here?
Go get your dick wet.
Does the first cuckqueen still talk to you?
Not that guy, but related story
>Be me
>Girl asks me to hang out with her
>Feel really happy
>Meet her up
>She's brought Chad along
>They're both drunk as fuck
>Hang out for a while
>They start making out
>Feel really awkward
>They suddenly turn to me
>"Hey anon, how about we all go home to your place and have some fun together?"
>Not sure how the fuck to handle this situation
>Tell them no, and that I have to go

If you guys got the chance to sleep with the girl you like, would you still do it if you had to share her with Chad?
Okay then, brace yourselves
>been once asked to work at the bar in an underground music club I'm kinda affiliated with for one gig
>arrive there tired as fuck, been up since very early that day
>halway through the night a lesbo friend of mine arrives with her female friend
>blue eyes, redhead, a bit chubby but in all the right places (dem hips yo)
>greet them and serve their drinks after that without thinking too much about any of it
>several hours after that my shift is over, I'm chilling on the barchair alone
>redhead comes up, sits next to me and starts talking
>I'm tired as fuck so I'm there but not paying too much attention to her words
>our lesbo friend joins us shortly after that and proposes that we and some of her other friends (couple of dykes I've never seen before) go to another place (this one was already closing)
>I just want to sleep and not party
>those two literally drag me by my hands to go with them
>ok whatever
>outside of the club we find a fucking pine tree and the girls immediately get the crazy idea to take it with us (it was 3 days until New Year's Eve)
>they are dead set on doing that so I just go with the flow
>2:30 am and we're carrying this pine tree in the middle of Stockholm while singing russian new year songs (lesbo is from Belarus, me and redhead are russians, so we all can speak same language)
>awkward as fuck since I haven't been drinking at all but I'm just going with it
>it's 3 days until New Year's Eve, so pretty cold outside and my gloves can't protect worth shit
>by the time we arrive to this other club my hands are freezing
>redhead notices this, takes my hands and puts them on her body underneath her coat while we wait in the queue
>when inside, lesbo and her dyke friend go dancing, me and redhead sit down at the table
>again, she starts talking to me about random stuff while her hand nonchalantly carresses my thigh and touches my dick through pants
First time talking to someone off /b/
This guy wanted me to fuck his girlfriend
Got a flu the same day baka
>well okay then
>after a while she gets up to find others and presses against me in a way that leaves little room for misinterpritation in the process
>the place is kinda shit so we go to lesbo friend's place (dykes got kinda lost somewhere but whatever)
>we arrive, immediately start with some music and more drinks
>I let go of tension, start dancing with these two
>seize a moment when lesbo goes to another room to kiss the redhead (seemed natural thing to do in the situation)
>after a while I have no more energy left, so I just fall on the bed powerless
>redhead lays to the right from me, lesbo sits on chair to the left and lets her hands underneath my shirt
>I feel another pair of hands reaching into my pants
>wow, let's not be too hasty here
>try to get those hands away from my dick but she still tries
>give up after few times and undress
>they both jumo at me, start playing with each other and with me at the same time
>tried to be somewhat active but give up shortly and just let them have their way with me
>wouldn't lie, felt like fucking heaven back then
>when foreplay was over lesbo gets up and goes to another room
>I fuck redhead (or she fucks me, basically) while moaning so loud I thought the whole city would hear us
>I cum and almost immediately fall asleep
>wake up in the morning and see all three of us are in the same bed
>hang out with them for the rest of the day and fuck like rabbits with redhead at her place for 2 more days until we go our separate ways

Unfortunately I haven't seen in her in person since cause she lives in Paris (tried to get with her for almost half a year but no luck). Still, that was the best Christmas gift I've ever gotten.
>in the middle of Stockholm
>New years eve, 19
>Go clubbing, get fucking hammered
>Cant fucking see straight
>Separated from my mates, end up dancing with this redhead cutie
>Squint a bit and realise she's like mid to early 30s
>Total fucking milf
>Get hands on, she doesn't stop me and drags me over to her friends
>Leave with them, end up at a house party with her and like 30 other people
>Mainly 30 year old milfs with about half a dozen blokes
>I'm sat with a group of lasses, topic inevitably turns to sex
>Everyone is smashed off their faces from the wine that the hostess has pretty much on tap
>Redhead cutie hostess suggests sex games
>Strip poker and shit
>End up sat round a table with just me and 8 giggling women deciding what game to play
>"ooh I know, anon can go under the table and eat one of us out, we have to guess who it is an if we do, the loser has to do a forefeit"
>Holy shit am I hearing this right
>I'm under the table surrounded by pussies and short dresses
>Can't see any faces, see a short green dress that I recognise as some cute blonde 36 year old with massive tits from earlier
>Lift we skirt up and there's a perfect trimmed pussy, fucking glistening wet
>She slowly spreads her legs and arches her back under the table to let me eat her
>See her perfect brown asshole peaking under the dress
>Go to town on it, work up to 3 fingers knuckle deep in her ass
>Shes there trying to point me to her pussy with her free hand
>Gently trying to guide my head pathetically toward her clit and away from her asshole while trying to maintain a straight face so she doesn't have to drink the dirty pint
>Ignore her silent pleas and continue fucking the shit out of her arsehole under the table
>Catches my eye later on and gives me this playful pouty look like she's mad at me for it
Do things like this really happen in real life?
When fuckloads of alcohol is involved yeah

I can barely remember anything about that night, it's like a patchwork of memories I can make a vague storyboard out of
>When fuckloads of alcohol is involved yeah
Note to self, get drunk with people more often

So you don't remember if anything happened after that at all?
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>cant get erect because scared of hobo
Oh god please post more pictures of this piece of flesh and fat
I fucked someone, it was either that blonde or the redhead hostess I don't remember, we played some other game where the women took it in turns to suck my dick for 30 seconds and whoever made me cum got to make up their own dares for everyone. One of the dares was someone had to eat a fucking cactus and I remember nearly laughing myself sick
I had 3 nightclub stamps on my hand but I only remember going to 2, literally no idea about that third one

And yeah alcohol is the key to everything. You just don't give a fuck anymore
Year before that I was in the same nightclub, some random guy sat next to me while I was on my phone and asked if I was "looking to pull, because my mate is gagging for it bro", told him to point her or and she was a petite 8/10 redhead. Se handed me half a bottle of fuck knows what, I downed it for some retarde reason and ended up with her dragging me off to the men's toilets where I fucked her in a cubicle after spending about 15 minutes secretly trying to work out how a condom machine works while being so pissed I couldn't read the writing
>been cuddlebuddies with girl for a couple weeks
>she's tried to kiss me a couple times before but i would dodge them because she had a boyfriend
>but i still cuddle with her because of fucked up moral priorities
>fast forward a couple weeks
>she breaks up with her bf
>girl and i go eat ice cream together
>invite her back to my house to hang out
>we sit down on my bed and show each other dank memes on our phones
>start cuddling
>she's sitting on my lap facing me, with her head on my shoulder
>feel a twitch in her crotch
>despite the fact that she willingly came over to my house, just the two of us, and is literally pressing her vagina against my dick while in my bed, i am still too insecure to understand that she wants to fuck
>twitch my crotch back, trying to gauge her reaction
>she unleashes her lust and starts grinding on my dick and i respond by grinding back
>push her down on her back
>we dry hump and i cum in my pants
>and then we fuck
the end
Is she your gf now?
Also, your post screams of reddit
>senior year of high school
>oneitis was a pretty, smart, popular girl who lived a couple streets over from me
>was always nice to me but way out of my league
>invites me to a graduation party at her place
>it's pretty alright
>help her clean up after, when pretty much everybody's left
>sitting by her pool with our feet in the water, shooting the shit
>she kisses me
>in shock
>grabs my hand and pulls me inside after her
>make out in her bed for a while
>clothes come off
>she pulls out a condom
>have sex in the missionary position
One of the few points in my life where I wasn't completely miserable.
She did become my gf, but I dumped her so I could fuck around with other girls.

Now I fuck around with no girls.
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How was the sex? I hooked up with my oneitis once and she was a boring, loose, dead fish in bed. I got to see her naked so at least that was enjoyable but fucking her was the most disappointing moment of my life.
It took me a while to cum for some reason but it was pretty good. She seemed more into it than I was, and I was pretty into it.
holy shit i thought i was browsing an /r9k/ thread for a second here.
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>roommates drag me to some party
>sitting in the corner by myself with a drink
>some drunk girl comes up to me and asks if I can get her a drink
>before I can blurt out "Get one yourself" like my instinct told me to, I realize she is coming on to me
>walk her towards the kegs and bottles of booze, ask what she wants
>she wants a beer so I grab a cup and fill it for her
>we talk for awhile and have a few drinks together
>she whispers "follow me" then gets up and starts walking
>I follow her outside
>she opens the backseat of her car and gestures me inside
>I get in then she gets in
>she immediately unbuttons my jeans and pulls out my dick
>I was already hard
>she giggles and says "Good to see you're excited about this too" then starts sucking my dick
>her giggle was so fucking cute and made me even hornier
>after 10 minutes or so I spray an ocean of cum into her mouth and throat
>head back inside with her, we get more drinks and sit down to talk more
>looks like nobody noticed we were gone
>some Chad comes up to us and says "Hey bro, you hitting on my girl?"
>smirk and say "No, just chatting"
>he says to her "Come on baby, we're leaving"
>mfw she stood up and kissed him on the lips
>mfw robot 1 Chad 0
>mfw I am become Bull, cucker of worlds
>tfw fucked another guy's gf regularly in high school
>tfw life has been downhill since the moment I first pulled out and came on her stomach
Yes it does. Never underestimate what a group of women will do especially when drunk or horny. Fuck you would be surprised what they would do even if that isn't so. Just ask a male stripper. They can get downright rapey at times.
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