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advice thread
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You are currently reading a thread in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001

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This is a thread for advice. Not "here's how you become a normie, bro, take it from me, I'm a normie" type of advice but just little bits of advice that each of us have found invaluable.

I'll start

>on social anxiety/that ambient feeling of awkward nervousness when in public

remember that people aren't nearly as aware of you (if at all) as you think that they are. also, your mindset doesn't necessarily represent other people's mindset, just like how your perception of a situation doesn't necessitate the situation being a certain way.

>on saying "no" without lying/making excuses

it's a really important part of being an adult to be able to say "no". We all know the feeling of being asked to do something/go somewhere and not wanting to do it, but being torn by a feeling of obligation. if you really, truly are obligated to do something, then you should probably do it... nonetheless, there are tons of situations where you are not obligated and should be able to say "no".

saying "no" is just a matter of being delicate. just as we can break some news about something to somebody in a really harsh way or in a really delicate way, so too can we tell somebody "no" with a bit of grace. there are a few approaches. you can often just say "I'm very busy". you can also say that you need the time to relax or maybe work on something of your own. lots of people automatically have excuses to say no, like people studying for a big test, or people with kids, whatever. we're bachelors. it's important for us to be able to delineate our own interests from other people's. as soon as you say "no" once, the person will start to respect the fact that you are a person too, that you have your own interests, etc.

>on general etiquette

you're probably not going to put anybody off if you're dressed decently, don't smell bad, use greetings before talking to people, and say things like "please" and "thank you". this is the bare minimum for being able to navigate stores, restaurants, etc.
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>>25795857
There's an entire board for this.
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>just go and say hi
I'm not Chad, I'm like 6/10, maybe a 7 on a really good day. I'm not extremely confident, I used to have a lot of anxiety before I realized how easy it was to meet girls.
Literally go and say hi. How are you doing. Care to talk for 5 minutes? It's not hard, no, it's extremely easy and it drives girls CRAZY when a stranger goes up to them and starts talking casually without a pretext or a motive.
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>>25795857
>on reading books

You might think that you could never read a book because you just quickly lose focus and start staring at a page. however, the only difference between reading a book and browsing /r9k/ is that the book is probably one topic/story whereas the internet is many topics left and right. think about it, you actually read a lot when you spend a few hours browsing the internet. the real problem is that you can't focus on one topic for more than a few minutes. in order to become a reader, you need to train yourself. start with a book that's really, really interesting to you, even if it's a guilty pleasure. I got started reading from going to the drug addiction/rehabilitation shelves in the library. before you know it, you'll spend a lot of time reading, and it will become a habit.
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>>25795866
yeah, but it's always people in a desperate situation asking for advice about their particulars. this is just a general advice thread. can't knock a substantive thread.
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>>25795857
>mfw I've seen in your pic in countless Food Gore! threads
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>>25795857
>remember that people aren't nearly as aware of you (if at all) as you think that they are. also, your mindset doesn't necessarily represent other people's mindset, just like how your perception of a situation doesn't necessitate the situation being a certain way.
This is some shit normie advice. For me anxiety has nothing to do with what I'm thinking, it's more of a physical reaction. Even if I'm 100% aware that being anxious is irrational I still get palpitations and adrenaline pumping over the slightest social interactions no matter what.
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>>25795914
How do I talk to her for 5 minutes? Why would she talk to me when i'm nearly peeing my pants from jsut approaching her? How do I approach her?
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>>25797511
This. I know i'm not that hideous or autistic and yet every single somewhat attaractive woman makes me feel extremely uncomfortable. Not just women actually but people in my age group. I know there is no real reason for me to feel that way but it doesn't help.
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take it easy, i guess
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People that give advice are some of the worst people around.
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Find your people. In school I tried to hang out with popular kids freshman/sophomore year, but apart from a few I was basically rejected because I was a social retard. I wasn't happy at all, just desperately social climbing. Then junior year I started hanging out with debate/scene kids who thought I was funny and I had a gf and went to parties and shit was decent. The "it crowd" doesn't exist. Go with the people who offer you the most.
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>>25795914
And what the fuck do I talk about for 5 minutes? Striking up a convo with a complete stranger ain't easy. Realistically what your advice would lead to is:

> hi how are you, I'm anon
> hi anon, I'm stacy
> ......
> ......
> so uhh, nice weather huh?
> yeah....

And silence to follow. You can't open with a compliment on her looks either cause unless you're a 10/10 chad you're just a creep and she'll yell rape in no time. Shitty advice you normie fuck.
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