>Running away after failing uni.
Is this an acceptable letter to leave behind?
I can not face this matter in person. I am a coward. You've all done everything that you could have, the flaw rests with me alone. I'm moving out of state- the city of Denver is for the quick-witted and financially gifted, I am neither and must relocate.
I am fundamentally ashamed of myself, as well I should be. I never could be the intellectual and academic that you wanted, I'm sorry. As a blight upon this family, I am extracting myself. I will live away from here, and try to make the best of myself in the fashion most uneducated under average people do. A friend has found me a job in a kitchen, I'll try to hack it there.
I owe you 7200$ for six years of back rent and food (this is a paltry 100 a month, and I apologize for that.) and 17,300$ for my failed education. It will take a while to pay back the 24,500$ and I will start up very slowly, but I swear that I'll pay you back eventually.
Cleaned up the room as best I could with the short amount of time I had, packed up what I could. It's likely still a bit of a mess. Anything left is yours to donate and use as you see fit.
My continual failure has forfeited my right to a family as wonderful as yours. Thank you for trying. I love you all so much. I'm not worth forgiving right now, maybe I'll be there one day.
>it comes across like you are trying very hard to sound non retarded
That's because I am retarded.
I owe them the money, they thought they were investing in something that wasn't a piece of shit. They were deceived.
Just remember not to leave any contact info behind and change your phone number.
Say in your letter that you'll only contact them after getting your life together.
Handwrite and sign the letter.
I'm not going to tell them a lot because I don't want to waste their time if they think they should follow me.
I'm going to try and work in a kitchen, find more entry level jobs if that fails, see if life starts to be worth living.
If it doesn't, I wait until everyone forgets about me and I have the $$$ to pay off any outstanding debts or corpse removal fees, whatever, and I wander into the woods and die like the stupid animal I am.
I tried asking my mom if I could drop out my second year, I'd been pretty suicidal and was fairly certain that it was because of my ineptitude at uni.
She more or less told me that this was my purpose, and it was pointless for me to do anything else in life if I didn't get a degree.
>but they know you and will understand
I was in the same position as this guy.
I went through the exact same shit, and got the exact same response.
Save yourself the time and don't talk about it with them anymore.
Leaving is the only way.
If you stay back you'll rot to death.
She was just trying to motivate you. You absolutely don't need a degree to be successful, but you know that already.
You could get a regular job and study part time if it's really important to you, or just learn a trade. With your kitchen job you could be a chef in a couple of years time and wonder how you ever felt this way.
Don't listen to the fucking workaday idiots who've posted in the thread so far. You're doing the right thing. Run away and find some adventure and authenticity in your life. You're doing something I don't have the balls to do, so godspeed.
>foster a system that punishes you for not taking well to office work and memorization which you just happen to be good at
>get surprised when there is no much poverty
Modern academia is the biggest groups of hypocrites that live today.
I don't know what your parents are like, but typically the kind of parents who pay for their kid to go to college are doing it because they want their kid to succeed. They aren't doing it with the express intent to see a monetary return on investment. Besides that, $100 a month for rent AND food expenses will at best illicit pity from them, and at worst be insulting. The fact of the matter is, you're running away from your guilt and shame as a way of protecting yourself. This won't benefit your parents in any way, so stop pretending like it will. You can be honest with them and say you're going to be a working class dude whose done taking hand-outs, then great! Just don't jerk them around anymore.
A few things to keep in mind before you go.
>twenty thousand isn't much, you could have that paid off in five years.
>running with your tail between your legs will make you feel even worse.
>Even if you do run, the problem will follow you AND your credit rating.
>You'll be isolated from the people who care about you.
Nobody else gives a SHIT about you in this world.
I know you're embarrassed, but you need to own this and face up to it.
If your father didn't teach you, it's time to teach yourself.
pay or don't pay. But don't run like a little bitch.
That's a question you NEED TO ASK YOUR PARENTS, not me. If making payments to them is part of whatever redemption story you've got going in your head is, then you need to make sure it's actually going to redeem you in their eyes. Again, you need to start thinking about how what you do impacts other people in a more realistic way. A huge part of that is talking with them about what both of you want and coming to a compromise if possible. Running away and hoping they'll forgive you on your terms is like a deadbeat dad skipping out on his kid and sending them $25 a month for allowance. It's missing the whole fucking point.
>are doing it because they want their kid to succeed
Really? Because OP said that his parents didn't care about the fact that he was horribly depressed and suicidal. Instead of helping him, they pushed him back into what made him want to kill himself.
Apparently they do want their kid to succeed, but they don't care if it's happy.
OP's success is all about their image.
>they don't want ROI
I'm pretty sure they've talked to OP many times before about how tough it is for them to make money and how hard they've worked for them.
They never directly asked for it yet, but they subtly put it in place already.
>paying back the debt doesn't matter for the parents
It matters for OP. You can't be free if you're bounded by debt.
However you're right in that it's probably better to pay them once and for all in 10-15 years instead of giving monthly payments.
>The fact of the matter is, you're running away from your guilt and shame as a way of protecting yourself.
Exactly. Why the fuck shouldn't he protect himself?
I mean, his parents didn't protect him. What should he do?
Remain in a state of guilt and shame forever?
>you can always talk to them blah blah
they'll never let him go. you don't get it, but they won't.
You're making as many assumptions about OP's situation as I am, anon. If it is the case that OP's parents are overbearing, narcissistic people who will never let OP live down his choices, then ok. Whatever his reality is, I don't know, and neither do you. We're both probably projecting our own parental conflicts onto his problem. That's kind of the issue when you're giving advice.
I am projecting indeed, but only because it sounds way too familiar to what I was going through.
And back then I couldn't realize my mother was a manipulative and selfish narcissist, so I made the wrong choice and didn't run.
She ruined my physical and mental health, and I wasted another 3 years of my life living as a pathetic NEET.
I just don't want others to go through the same shit.
Dont be silly. People usually think about the amount first, then add the (dollar) sign after. This is not something exclusively done by retards.
Besides, he has already admitted being retarded. Gtfo fuckface.
Maybe I'll just pack up in the dead of the night, wait for them to wake up the next morning, explain that I was a shitty dude who's going to do one last shitty thing, drive the fuck off, and send a check for 500-1000(whatever I can afford) every Christmas until the amount is settled.
OP I was in your situation, not the exact one obviously but in that situation...the best thing to do is man up, tell your parents that you ducked up and go live your life. If you leave a letter, they may call the cops on you. You may be an adult but you're still their baby. The letter is going to leave them worrying about yo whether it's genuine worry or the fake shit. Manning up will put them at peace and allow you to do whatever you have planned.
Further, don't feel hummed out about failing college. I lost a $3k scholarship due to having 3 credit hours fewer than the minimum. All can be repaired.
Good luck and Godspeed.