Yeah, seriously. Its not that I can't make friends, but I literally have no idea what I'd actually do with other people, and how it is that normies always seem to be with others on their own accord when they leave their house to go somewhere.
I do recognize thought that my alone-ness is by design, since I have nothing to do or talk about with people. I'm NEET, never had sex or gf, and have no real hobbies or interests. Whereas when normies socialize they often talk about their jobs and love lives, and do things like going to bars and nightclubs, watching or attending sporting events, concerts, movies, eating out or having dinner at one of their homes then sitting and talking for hours, and other things that I either have no interest in and would make me more uncomfortable than sitting at home shitposting, or cost money which my mommy won't pay for. Though she likely would pay for some expenses if I tell her I have an opportunity so socialize with people. Around 2005-2011 I hung out with friends occasionally, and I can remember feeling bored and uncomfortable, and secretly hoping we would meet girls when we went out places, rather than to enjoy the company of the other person or 2 I was with. Even met up with 4channers IRL, but never lasted more than 1-3 hangouts because I couldn't think of anything to do after that and eventually lost contact.
> besides exploiting each other There's also this aspect of friendship which I've never been comfortable with, and could be the actual reason I don't have friends. Is friendship just a game of exchanging favors and stuff? Because I dread the feeling of imposing on others asking for help, and similarly don't want other people dumping their problems on me either. Strong friendships are born of necessity on tough time that require interdependence, but we like in the first world cell phone and internet age where people can go about life ignoring everyone around them and sticking to their own exclusive in group of friends.
>>25773676 So in a nutshell, if I'm not willing to help a friend move, watch their kids or pets, leave my phone on all night, and go bail a friend out of jail if he calls me for help, and that sort of thing, (and if I was int he same situation would feel better hiring someone to help instead of imposing on my friends) do I even deserve friends at all?
>>25773754 >>25773944 I almost never do or get favors from friends. They're just there for company. I eat some meals with them, watch movies, drink together, play vidya together, and talk about shit. I know at least the latter appeals to you because you talk to and read from r9k often I'm sure. It's the same but irl. Basically the way you stem the loneliness with 4chan, other people do it with friends.
>>25774047 >>25774086 But how is it that people, freely associating together outside of a planned event or situation you're forced to be together, simply decide to voluntarily spend time together for several hours.
This is one thing I have just been able to grasp, much like how people can go from talking to getting naked and mashing their genitals together.
>>25773676 >>25773754 I was going to post an equally long reply, but it can be summed up to this: Friendship is a conscious exchange of services after a certain age.
If you help people and they help you back when you need it, if you listen to their boring problems and they hear yours, you have a friend. It's never going to feel as "pure" or spontaneous as a child or teenager friendship, but it works and you need it. We all need it.
>>25773676 Also something you should know (I'm trying to help you because I feel like I could have been the one that typed this post if it was 2013-2014) is that you really need money and independence from you parents. For me, a huge problem was my that my mother is suffering from narcissistic personality disorder. She controlled every aspect of my life, and not always for my best interests. Read about narcissistic parents and other personality disorders. Find out what's wrong with your parents, and by extension what's wrong with you.
>>25774309 >They're people you can talk to indefinitely without getting bored. See, I just don't conceive of how this would occur. Could be just that I'm very introverted, but I can't imagine anyone not getting bored of me eventually, I just don't have that much to talk about. You can obviously see how its more difficult to make friends now than 20 years ago, when socializing filled the role that internet and cell phones do today. You wondered about something or heard and interesting story in 1996? You talk about it with people. Nowadays you go to youtube, wikipedia, google, or 4chan.
>>25774412 >conscious exchange of services after a certain age. see this is what I was trying to say. If I have nothing to offer people, and nothing I'm willing to impose on people, maybe thats why I don;t have friends.
>>25774412 >It's never going to feel as "pure" or spontaneous as a child or teenager friendship, This still happens, but in childhood it would have resulted in play dates and a natural evolution into becoming close friends, as an adult the context is limited to the place we normally see each other, unless we discover some common interest which involves getting together to do something else.
>>25774412 >but it works and you need it. We all need it. Bad psychology mate/cunt. Human mind is capable of adapting to almost anything. Good for normies reading Psychology Today, but its not health for robots to be bombarded with messages like "You need friends, gf, sex, family, purpose...)" because while it may be objectively better for people to have friends, unavoidably friendless people are far better off seeing their friendlessness as a non-issue than to dwell on it feeling lonely and depressed. but it works and you need it. We all need it.
>>25774642 My father was a hardass and meanass bully, and my mother was overprotective and treated me like a baby.
I am INTP, and diagnosed by clinical psychologists on the autism spectrum, what was formerly known as aspergers. However, I seem to be a special breed of aspie. The common stereotype you see is that autists have little interest in sex but strong, narrow passionate interests in things like trains, airplanes, cars, math, computers, etc. I am the opposite, and see a lot of my personality reflected when I read Elliot Rodger's press release: Preoccupied with sex, while never able to become interested in doing anything proactive/productive. During high school and college most of my free time was spent literally procrastinating on assignments, would stay home when I could have been socializing because I needed to do homework, yet 95% of that time was spent just daydreaming, listening to music, and later when I had internet, fapping and shitposting of course. MY options are very limited, especially since I'm unwilling to commit to anything that requires ass-time-at-the-computer-actually-being-productive. I can barely even read a book anymore my attention span is so shit.
I'm just introspecting and thinking about the concept of friendship in general here. Please don't come back at me with generic normie advice like take drugs, life, see a hooker, apply for a job at McDonalds, etc.
I play vidya and go to bars with my friends OP. If we don't go out sometimes we just get wasted at someones' place and watch stupid shit. Everyone few months we'll do mushrooms or acid and sit out in the park for hours.
>>25775934 I do visit a shrink, but while he can help me cope with stuff, can't actually change my brain and behavior. There is no cure for autism.
>>25775951 Yea, thats another thing. I tried drinking and week before, and I never like the way I feel the next day. Yet all people, normies or autists, seem to want to do some type of drugs or alcohol when socializing.
I'm burning bridges with my current friends just cause I save alot of money. Chipping in for booze, food, gas really takes a toll. You can't have fun without money. I spend all that on myself and have a great time. And although it's nice to get help, helping somebody can be a pain in the ass, so having friends depend on you blows. It's a shame cause I'm really a delight to be around.
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