I'm talking about serious relationships here. As far as I can tell fom hs and uni most guys who don't care at all about a girl's virginity are the ones who just want sex or are literally the most beta guys who do anything to get a girl to like them. The majority of guys will settle for a girl who's not a virgin if she isn't a slut but it's definitely not what they wanted. I feel like girls actually believe the only guys who care are possessive assholes without realizing most decent guys do care but are just too afraid to say it because they get ostracized since others see it as an opportunity to look better themselves.
Yes, but if you remind a girl that she basically ruined her dating prospects by sleeping around she'll get very angry and depressed.
The thing about modern women is that they're choosing the slutting road every time (naturally), but it still bothers them deeply to know that that voids out that idyllic life being a steady partner/wife/mother to anybody with self-respect.
I think a lot of family-oriented men are changing their minds about what they want out of life. When you've decided that it's your dream to have a nice wife and a family, it feels like a huge slap in the face when you're this woman's last resort after she can't have fun anymore. I mean, I used to dream about having a house and a wife and children, but after a little bit of dating I just can't imagine ever marrying any woman.
This is where I'm starting to get to. I'm healthy, have good job prospects, and a small group of good friends and I would like to marry a girl and have a family some day. But lately it seems like it might be impossible to find a decent girl with some self respect. A girl i dated for a bit in highschool started to want too much attention from others so I broke up in fear of what she would do. Weeks later she became a fucking whore. It's just insane man.
There is no need to care. If some guy is being an asshole about it, there'll be 10 others who won't care. Just date someone who offers what you want (and to whom you offer what they want).
I know, but it's difficult to find when so many girls are negatively influenced by each other. I can maybe find a handful with a lot of effort but there is no guarantee we even get along.
you are one type beta. and chads are another one.
you and these beta men seek validation of their existence as a response, of their action, from what they conceive as the reality, validation which is the most intense through taking women, after women have accepted them to be satisfied by them, and nowadays making women explicitly wet.
these men are devoted to women. of course, most women snub most men, since women live for pleasures, being hedonistic-histrionics-egotistic but not narcissistic, which excludes, most of the time, what they consider poor or ugly men since they will never as much pleasure to her as other men.
Only the woman is able to have pleasure for pleasure itself, and she knows this. sex is what pleases her, and the male devotes attempt to give her orgasms. impotent men attempt to give her comfort.
higher men are narcissistic --- they do not seek validation from somebody else, even less from a woman --- without being egotistic, but the woman takes this narcissism as her egotism, which thus draws her to these men, for each woman knows that her best lovers are not the puny devoted men [robots and chads], but precisely are her fantasy of men like her, but not like her either !, which means just as egotistic as her, without being narcissistic.
the problem of the woman is that men cannot be ''egotistic without being narcissistic'' (only the woman is this). men cannot be histrionics-egotistic in fact.
the problem of women is that narcissistic men are not egotistic so that they take the woman for what she is, to wit, pure (external) entertainment.
the problem of the woman is that most men are devotees and are not egotistic either. those men do not seek validation from women in general; they seek validation from higher people, which they know women are above them. but those men know equally that a few men are even higher than women [and it is not difficult] so that the lesser men pay respect and follow those higher men, if they meet them.
>As far as I can tell fom hs and uni most guys who don't care at all about a girl's virginity are the ones who just want sex or are literally the most beta guys who do anything to get a girl to like them
Or, you know, the ones who actually care more about the girl as a human being. I'm not saying that everyone has to accept an extremely slutty past or whatever. But this "muh virginity" meme on here needs to end. What would you do if you're in your early 20s and meet the perfect girl for you? She's cute, and exactly the person you always dreamed of. Then, one day, you learn that she has lost her v-card to her ex. Would you give up the prosepect of being happy together just because of a young woman dared to have sex in a serious relationship before you even came into the picture?
Probably not not but it doesn't change that it still matters to me and I'm only setting because everything else about her is perfect. It's something that would always bother me in the back of my mind. It's not enough to make me miserable but it would still bother me quite a bit.
I think it depends on the context and on how seriously she took her relationship/s.
I would never take seriously any girl who had sex with somebody she wasn't seriously dating. If she ever had casual sex or anything like that, it doesn't really matter how she is otherwise. I think that kind of history says enough to the effect of "stay away".
>I'm only setting because everything else about her is perfect
This is how mating works in general. You'll always find flaws in other peopel. You just have to find someone with whose flaws you can live (and of course they'll need to look past yours).
>it depends on the context
Yes, this is what I was trying to say earlier on. It is not the best idea to view everything in black and white. Context/ circumstances should always matter.
Again, different people have different definitions of casual sex. Some consider only sex with virtual starngers, i.e. ons to be casual. Others include affairs/ fwb situations etc.
Yes but being a virgin to me is more important than if she's successful for example. I'm much more willing to settle on other things. Loyalty and virginity are some of the most important things for me.
>Some consider only sex with virtual starngers, i.e. ons to be casual. Others include affairs/ fwb situations etc
Both to me, that's what I'm saying. Anybody who wasn't in an exclusive relationship who still got the fucc/succ... that makes her a no-go.
You can say as much as you want about how I have to offer so much to demand shit like that or whatever and I'm not going to personally prove that I'm ideal dating material, but there are a lot of men who feel the same way really.
I don't want to catch a disease and I don't want to risk being with somebody who could risk being impregnated because she can't keep her legs closed for a few weeks while she's not in a relationship. The more important reason though honestly is just respect. I just can't respect somebody that hedonistic and lacking convictions. Sex is a big thing and a huge risk for women to take and if she treats it like it's just an itch to scratch, that will probably never change.