>high school dropout
>tons of physical issues
>tons of psychological issues
>have a juvie record for petty theft because I wanted to rebel against authorities but was too much of a pussy to do something seriously bad
>have to put up with my annoying idiot mother and equally idiotic scumbag father whose shitty treatment of me contributed to me being so pathetic and there is nowhere i could escape from this hell
>all the relatives I loved and who loved me are dead
>had only a couple of friends in high school
>my only friends in high school got relatively rich and left my shit country
Tell me it's gonna be alright. Please. I don't care if it's a lie. I'm tired of feeling nothing but hopelessness and the desire to blow my brains out. The closest I felt to enjoying life was when I got fed up my father yelling at me for shittiest of reasons and smacked him in the face a couple of years ago. I'm too pussy to repeat it even though the dumb faggot hadn't learned his lesson, thinks he's a saint and blames everyone else for mistreating him (yes, I'm aware of the irony.)
What country do you live in OP.
I mean honestly its not a lie, things CAN get better. Thats not to say they will, the only way things will change is if you make them change. If you live in a first world country like america, then its conpletely up to you. You like sitting around your parents house jacking off and playing vidya? Then do it. You want a life with your own place, your own car, your own money with the sacrifice of alot of your free time? Get a fucking job, go to community college, get a regular ass degree with transferrable skills get a better job, build from there.
Its not too complex, but you have to get off your ass and stop being a bitch. Alternatively join the military, its shit but you'll have a place to stay, friends possibly, and money.
Russia. (>inb4 >slavs >white) And not even in a good city.
I stutter, a little bit fat (not obese but not fit enough to look attractive), somewhat physically weak, have spinal pains, prone to catching the cold, and at times get nosebleeds for no reason and feel like I'm on the verge of losing consciousness.
I also have fits of anger and act impulsive, OCD with very strong unwanted thoughts that are hard to keep at bay, a hard time relating to people at times, mood-swings, lack of any motivation to actually commit to something despite actually wanting to have a job and escape, fear of interacting with people most likely because of my asshole parents.
Yes. Mailman since all I need to do is to deliver some letters and newspapers with minimal human interaction, but I quit it because I got tired of it and it wasn't paying all that well anyway.
Sounds like thats your real issue. Motivation, the fact that you're speaking english on a native level coming from Russia is pretty amazing. The fact that you're bilingual alone is enough to put you over a lot of people.
Maybe you should try getting into coding, not a lot of human interaction and the possibility of working from home.
Work on your attention span, you can't quit a job because you get bored and then get mad when you're still staying with your parents.
>Tell me it's gonna be alright.
I'll tell you what, IT NEVER gets alright. There will never be this magical moment that will change your life and let you start all over again.
You will have the same shitty routine each day, with the same shitty people