There is no hope. It feels just like yesterday I was turning 24 years old and in the same position (I had a regular job and wasn't attending college though), but now 4 years later I can't even work anymore and just look forward to doing drugs all day.
>24 >3 semesters to finish STEM degree >spend all free time locked in room on computer >have 60% attendance rate because skip class and just read the slides >no idea if I'll get a job or not because no experience >read here that I should be read for a job and applying already at this point Fug. These next 1-2 years could go either way.
>>25760905 You are young enough and presumably healthy. All you have to do is use your brain for a week and find something interesting to do. I recommend going to the local library and sitting at a PC there to do your research. Without the easy access and siren call of your fap folder you might actually make some progress.
24, live with parents, mental health problems, drug addiction, going to my country version of community college but I have no motivation and don't care, addicted to morphine and the internet, don't see any hope, future, or enjoyment in this world
reality seems so cold and empty. it feels like it's just misery, I see the world as so indifferent, miserable cold and everything hurts me
all I want to do is take morphine, drugs, and waste my time shitposting trying to entertain myself to take my mind off things
I can't even see myself in the future I have no concept of myself being independent, supporting myself etc, living my own lfie
I just don't see how people can live like 40 hour week, mortgage, wife kids, debt, weekends
how can people be satisfied with that. I get so frustrated, empty bored. I feel not excitement and joy. sometimes it gets too much and I act out going crazy, just last week I got arrested after being tracek by dogs intoforest
honestly I feel like this is just how I am, there is no future or hope or betterment. I just need to learn how to live like this or kill myself. I attempted to kill myself a few years ago, I was so out of it, life was like a distant flickering light or a fly kind of annoyingly buzzing in the distance, just irrelevant nothing to do with me I'm not even alive
yeah I could give you normie advice but the truth is there is nothing. I've tried all the meds, ect, hospitals etc. you want to feel more positive about life? take drugs, personally I take morphine it makes me feel more positive about living, but of course I took it too far like 400mg a day and I'm on methadone now it's not as good but fuck it
I feel drugged right now I took 3gram of gabaepenitn fuck it just learn to find joy laugh at the absurdity of existence laugh at how miserable this world is like shit this is actually a terrible place but if you can laugh in your misery you've made it
I'm the same except I transferred from CC to a university last year. Eventually we're going to have to fucking man up and get a job. I just don't know when I'm going to get that motivation/fire to do it.
>21 >got part-time job at Wal-Mart, overnight maintenance >body got destroyed within the month >go to CC >withdraw and fail same courses (English 101, speaking) repeatedly >took me three years and a summer to get AS >didn't do anything to transfer to uni, take one independent study course >spring, get into uni, schedule is fucked up, barely get full-time >(fall) finally get a semester where it is all major-type classes >all but one of the classes are complete normalfag bullshit, 40% of the grade in 3/4 of the classes is tedious homework and labs aka copywork >turning 26 this spring >will be 27 when I graduate, doing a BS at 21 >want to kill myself every day, literally just spent 15 minutes laying on the floor thinking of how much I wish I was dead >on high-dose MAOI and non-stim ADHD >still 0 energy, managed to take out garbage at 11pm, the first time in a month
>fighting with scheduling and finances (again) this semester >they gave me a $3000 check in December >they asked for $450 in November >they're asking for almost $4000 by the 20th, seemingly for last semester These people have no fucking clue what they're doing, I wish there would be a shooting just to fuck up some normalfags.
>>25761086 m8 just find something to do. They have departments which can get you to do stupid stuff (I've done tutoring for 4.5 years, did an "Experiential Learning" thing over the summer). Spring semester I worked for the fucking art department here or there because I heard they could use the help. I'm a fucking Electric Engineer and although most jobs go to women and shit, there are some things available.
>>25760951 holy shit dude I did the exact same thing, paid this asian lady 140 dollars in a brothel for 45 mins when I was 2 days before my 18th birthday, I told her I was a virgin and she asked me my age and that she didn't speak much english and she guided me through it I was pretty uncomfortable because I'd never been naked around someone before like that, and then she sort of massaged me but I was so nervous and didn't really even want to do it but I was too awkward to leave I eventualy got hard the condom broke twice and she gave ma weird blowjob that hurt I fucked her missionary really fucking hard and I came but I was too nervous to tell her I did so I just tried to keep going I fgot soft and stopped and then she looked pretty disappointed she was holding my shrinking cock like wtf I can't use this she just sort of gestured because no engrish but I had already came and it was hurting me she tried her horrible blowjov to get me hard and then I just sort of said ok I am going got dressed as fast I could and ran out of there
and then on the drive home I felt so disgusting and I was so worried about diseases I went to a supermarket brought a bottle of purell and rubbed all over my dick balls everything holy fucking shit it hurts but I felt I had to do it to kill any germs
also her weird asian pussy was like purple and gross and having sex hardly felt like anything. I got home sat in the shower and literally cried I felt so disgusting and filthy, like I literally sobbed
and that's how I lost my virginity. pretty traumatic but I don't regret it. I've had sex with a few girls since then and a couple hookers and also a few guys but I just think sex is not for me I like to jack off instead
although probably the best experience sexually I ever had was when I was about 16 I probably shouldn't say this but yeah this 14 year old girl totally came on o me and then started sucking my dick holy shit but I felt weird about it and I stopped it and she went home hating me
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