"Ahoy me hearties, why not join me on an epic quest of adventure and blood aboard me ship, "Pepe's Revenge"? We shall sail the seven seas, slayin' Chads and pillagin' Stacies!"- Captain Pepe Grenouille
>Post your sea shanties for while you sail with your robot shipmates across the Seven Seas
>Tell the captain of any plans of cunnin' piracy you may have in mind, high jinks and normies getting BTFO abound
>Let the quartermaster know of any supplies we'll need on this epic voyage
>Post any qt 3.14 wenches ye plan on pillagin' on your travels
Part of the crew part of the ship.
I can't wait to hang several mangled corpses to the back of this thing so we leave a literal trail of blood in our wake. Also jam a Stacy through the mast in through the asshole out through the mouth.
YAAARRRGGGHHH Cap'n I recently spied from the crow's nest a landlubbin' normie's house.
Farkin' landlubbers, get orf me island YYYYYYYAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Aye propose that we dock after sunset and leave a salty seabot pile of nightsoil within his mailing threshold. Permission to fire my bum full of rum Cap'n?!
PREPARE TO BOARD LADS! GRAB YER FLINTLOCKS AND WEAPONISED TENDIES! TIME TO SLAY SOME NORMIE DOGS!
Welcome to the crew strange hairy man! I see your axe has hewn the necks of many a landlubbin' normie!
Ayy lads, sexy bathtime! Post the captured qt 3.14s you be bringin' to bathtime!
I've butchered many a normie in the kingdom of sokkerfeld, back when I was still a pup, but it's been a while since I've reaved, and my axe has a massive thirst capn.
>tfw no shield maiden
A fine choice my northern mate! I myself prefer thick roasties to whet my salacious appetite.
Thick roasties = best roasties.
Capn it pains my heart, but I must abandon ship, I've got pigs to feed in the morning. Perhaps another night I'll go sailing. Before I depart, may I suggest, that you set a course so the crew has something to work towards. Otherwise this lot will be left with nothing to do but whittle their spears and fall asleep, good for nothin lazy peons.
"ALRITE LADS! WE'RE BOARDING THE ROYAL NAVY VESSEL, "HAMMER OF CHAD"!"
>PRESENT ARMS AND SHOW ME YOUR LOADOUTS BEFORE THE FIGHT!
>ALSO MARK THE STACY YOU PLAN TO PLUNDER FROM THE SHIP'S HOLDS BEFORE WE SCUTTLE THE PILE OF ROTWOOD!
-Captain Pepe Grenouille
>tfw when the crew mutinies and leaves you on a desert island
Aye lads I have returned from my poopoo raid in the mailbox, sadly me britches were caught in the line of fire and had to be abandoned.
Let us remeber in a brief silence me britches there were lost in the raid and celebrate our plunder with some snake wine I procured from our slanty-eyed pirate brothers from the far east.
DANGER AHEAD LADS! KRAKEN INBOUND! MAN THE CANNONS! MARKSMEN TO THE RIGGINGS! LOUSY LANDLUBBERS GRAB AXES AND CHOP THOSE TENTACLES!
CAPTAIN THE BLOODY KRAKEN'S GOT A HOLD OF THE SHIP!
All hail indeed!
I told ye lads! First Mate, you lead the axemen and start choppin' those creepers of his! I don't want to lose all our barrels of tendies to such scum sea dwellers as this! Someone, get us some pirate battle music for the fight!
>tfw we find no booty and we're down to our last rations
>the sea is calling us lad's
Permission to come aboard captain? I am but a simple outlaw in the land of normies and robots, belonging to neither and wanted by neither but my allegiance lies with robots everywhere. I have observed normies for many years and know of their weaknesses and think I could be a valuable asset to your crew.
'fraid you boarded the wrong ship my nig
pretty good song m80, thanks for sharin' arrgh spook me bones
REPORTIN FER DUTY, CAP'N GRENOUILLE. TILL THE NORMIES, OR NEPTUNE TAKES ME, WHICHEVER COMES FIRST.
AVAST LADS! WE BEING BOARDED BY PSYCHO-PEPE'S, THOSE ONE'S WHO BEEN DRINKIN' TOO MUCH SEA WATER! SET ABOUT EM WITH CUTLASS AND PISTOL LADS, I WANT EM OFF MY SHIP AND AWAY FROM ME TENDIES!
Aye Captain, this thread be some fresh oc you plundered 'ere.
Best read with a cask of rum and some salted pork.
Tis rare portraits I found of Captain Pepe Grenouille of a mysterious isle. On the charts it be called Em-ess Paynt. Here, I also found this OC Skull an' Crossed Tendies flag in the treasure hoard!
Ayy looks to be a fine read (though I must warn you pork is strictly haram and not permitted upon this vessel thank you sir)!
Also, nice digits my lad!
Aye lad! *swings ancient Spanish tendie cutlass* Help me and the lads see em' back onto their schooner, or else they'll have at our tendies for sure! *fires special >tfwnogf ammunition out of flintlock pistol into apporaching psycho-pepe's head*
Captin, this here be the Stacie I plan on pillagin!
There be enough booty for the two of us to share matey
Matey, man the REEEEE cannons now!
SECURE THE TENDIES AND GOODBOYPOINTS LADS! IF WE DON'T WE WILL BE SLEEPING IN DAVEY JONES LOCKER TONIGHT. AHOY LAD'S GUNG HO!
MAY THE RAREST PEPE'S WATCH OBER US IN YE' DARKEST HOUR
Aye captin! I'll have them fillin our mugs tonight, with foamy beer covering their tits and falling down their arses as we give them big ole cheeks a nice ole slap, to which will rain droplets of beer on us all!
Right Stacie's, get to it with them corsets!!!
Ah, and here be one of them eastern ones capin!
Try again on the dubs lock! We must secure the tendies!
Get your eyes on the enemy first matey before -
>a pyscho tendie sword bursts through his chest
>shoots the psycho with a tendie bluster, splattering his brains all over
>catches his stabbed comrade
Come on now matey, it's-its just a scratch ...just a scratch I tell you. Come on now, don't-dont let your eyes droop like that...
SAVE THE SPAGOOTER AND MEATY WEATIES
USE THE ABUNDANCE OF SPOILED NUGGIES IN THE CARGO. I STILL HAVE A SECRET STACHE OF TENDIES N BBQ FOR THE CREW AND ALL.
Ahoy Matey! FIRE AT WILL AND KEEP YOUR SHOTS TRUE.
>rushes to the cargo, pulling up arm fulls of the spoiled nuggies
>lights the fuse
>the fizzling cord whips before my eyes as I train the cannon on the Kraken beast
Arrrg! SMILE YOU SON OF A BITCH!
>dubs be with me!
I'm...d-d-dying matey! I don't think I'm going to make it! Tell my qt 3.14 oneitis...that...that...nothing, don't want to weird her out. It's getting so c-c-cold...
...btw, n--n-nice d-digits matey...
>misses his dub cannon shot and lock!
Blast it all to Davey locker!
>strikes boot to striker fuse and punches the lock
I'll give it another shot for them both captin!
>holds the chest in the crook of his arm while aiming
>beads of PeePee course down his brow
MATEY'S THIS IS NO SHANTY
WE HAVE WOUNDED ON THE POOP DECK!
MAN YOUR STATIONS UNTIL THE RUNNING SUN. WE MAY DIE BUT KNOW YOU ALL WERE THE FINEST CREW AN OLD SEADOG COULD EVER HA-
>the REEE cannons fire
>a faint distant sound of a tendie revolver
>A sharp pain in me chest
>can taste the salt in me mouth
>me tendies and spaghetti seep out of me pockets
i-i lub y-ye old seadogs
AVAST LADS! WE'RE BEING ATTACKED BY CHADS FLYIN' THE COLOURS OF HER MAJESTY QUEEN STACEY OF NORMIELAND!
WE NEED TO HIT THEIR POWDER STORE 5 TIMES TO SINK EM BEFORE THEY GET WITHIN BOARDIN' RANGE!
ROLL MULTIPLES OF 10 TO SINK EM', I'M COUNTIN' ON YOU LADS!
M-matey don't you talk like that. Ain't them words supposed to come out of ya-
>blood splatters my cheek from your cough
I'll-I won't tell them, and you won't either cause you'll make it.
>holds him closer
Here matey I'll-I'll keep you warm! That I'll do mate. That I'll do right and good now.
>looks at the digits with him
Aye they be good! That they be
>looks back down at his mate
Maybe we can get some quad-
>his mates eyes are vacant. Dead
G-good night...sweet prince
I will cleanse Spain's waters of you English dogs.
His trips! They've saved the tendies! His trips have ultra-locked the tendies store, those psycho-pepes can't touch our tendies now!
*weeps a single tear*
He died...so...t-the tendies could live. May Neptune take him into his hall, may he feast on sea-tendies and slide his pee-pee tube into many a mermaid Stacy.
*poo poo pee pee oozes out of dead mate's trousers onto deck as rigor mortis kicks in*
AVAST! TONIGHT WE FEAST!
I'VE MANNED THE POOPDECK CAPTAIN,
Wojak wants to pillage another Stacey's vessel, but I keep tellin em that Roastie Dabloons aren't worth a shite once we hit the Robot Seas.
Aha, I Fabio have come to take your women and your protein.
>be cabin boy
>they don't know I'm a girl pretending to be a boy
How much longer do you think this is going to last? I have a pretty good disguise but I don't like the way the captain looks at me.
Like hell. If I have to I'll come up with something. I might just tell the captain and hope he watches my back. He's a good person, I think. Better than most of the people on the ship. And they all say I'm the best cabin boy they've had so there's that right?
Get your duckey ready cause we're about to get fuckey
Ditch lose losers and sail with my crew as the first mate.
You know you deserve better than these hopeless losers. Everyone knows Fabio the Cruel and his Seawolves.
Captain Grenouille here! Normally I bugger me cabin boy so you better like fat green cock up yer arse lass!
Too late captain Loser. I have already seduced your women and will now bombard your boat of dweeb virgins.
I don't know how many of you guys would be interested.
What say we sing a chantey together with vocaroo?
I don't think there's been an /r9k/ sings in a long time, and what better than a chantey, me mateys?
Captian I TOLD YOU NOT TO ALLOW ANT FEMBOTS ON!
Now they're all joining this Fabio Chad!
Women don't, no...they can't understand loyalty. They never have. They never will!
>lights fuse that slowly makes its way to the powder barrrela of PooPooPeePee
This is it lads. We've been had. It...it was a good trip. See you... See you on the other side.
>fuse hits the barrels
Dubs it blows the ship
Am I too late to get on board?
I'm packing my own heat! I'm a marksman!
Alas the ship...she's gone.
>debree falls from the sky, aflame and smoking
But another day, another voyage
>grips Anons shoulder tightly
Aye, another day well sail again. And all across the sea, the oceans, the waters of all, the NORMIEs shall fear the wake of our ship!
ONE DAY PEPE REVENGE WILL SET SAIL!
Captain Thompson gives the order
To sail the ocean wide
Where the sun it never sets, my lads
Nor darkness dims the sky
For it's cheer up my lads
Let your hearts never fail
For the bonnie ship the Diamond
Goes a-hunting for the whale
Just a /m/an casually passing,hinting we need fucking Crossbone Gundams.Nothing is more fitting,really.The normies will tremble in fear,for they cannot recognize the unfamiliar shapes,seeing as they`ve never seen a Mobile Suit in their pathetic lives.