/DepressionGeneral/

Not well OP. I've got a bottle of pills stored away for a sunny day.

Not a rainy day because then a bunch of people feel miserable. No, I want to go out on the best day possible so that everyone who was enjoying their happiness can get a little taste of the misery I felt everywhere I went.

>>25732876
>mfw a larger crop of that image is my phone background

I love that album t b h

>>25732876
Stressed as fuck. Have a final on friday and should probably not spend my time here.

I stopped taking my anti depressants because I don't trust them and they really don't do much except stop me from wanting to kill myself.

Now, I just fucking hate everyone and am irritable as fuck. People are evil and stupid and assholes for no fucking reason and I'm sick of it. I hate myself too btw

I've been dipping between extreme depression and feeling very chipper.

I'm not bi-polar though, normally I just feel nothing so I'm not sure what's going on with me.

>>25732921
solid one
i have to say that you got a point

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Celebrity deaths normally don't hit me, but man, Bowie dying has made me really feel like shit. Seeing all the normies pretending to be fans is starting to piss me of, as are the tumblrinas trying to brand him as a rapist.

>>25732921
I'm sorry anon. Why do you want to do that?

>>25732952
Best of luck, anon.

>>25732973
>except stop me from wanting to kill myself
That's a good reason to not give up on them, anon. Also don't forget that depression lies and make everything ugly.

I'm pretty bad tonight, I'll be thirty in the next three years and I don't even know if I'll make it that long. I don't even want to make it. I've achieved nothing and I want to return to nothing, non existence. I don't want to hurt anymore.

The few friends I do have really only keep me around out of pity.
They'll invite me to hang out but never when there's females involved, because "lord knows how bad anon will make me look"
Im pathetic and I deserve it
tbqh murder me senpai

Why do people ask if you're okay if they know the answer is "No" but also know that you're gonna say "Yes"?

>>25733199

Everyone has their good days. Also that question allows them to be sincere.

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>>25732876
STOP USING THIS SHIT ALBUM PLEASE I BEG OF YOU ITS NOT GOOD DEATH SUCKS AND YOU SUCK TOO NIGGERFAGGOT HAHAHAHAHXD
XD
XD
XD
XD
>>>/mu/>>>
>>>/shit/>>>
>>>/fucku/>>>
HAHAHA GET A BETTER ALBUM COVER

>>25732876
Apart from feeling some of the worst in 6/7 years of severe depression and nearly killing myself I'm fine OP.

I wish I was joking ;_;

I got a metal folding chair and stuck it in the shower and listened to depressive black metal while just sitting and letting the water hit my face.
I've also been listening religiously to Public Castration Is A Good Idea
Ask me why

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>>25733304

What Black Metal famalam?

Have you listened to pic related yet? It's probably the most depressing Black Metal out there.

>>25733329
I was listening to Make A Change.... Kill yourself
And no, but I'll download it now

>>25733007
I feel the same senpai

>all the normalscum on Facebook just posting Space Oddity since its the only song they know

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>>25733007

Be happy, senpai. In twenty years, people will be jealous about the fact you were got to see the greatest ending to an artist's career ever.

Not well at all. :(

>>25732876

I received my exams' results. They're a lot worse than I expected but if I do just a little better this semester I'll be able to pass. Still, I'm pretty depressed, the amount of work I did just for this shitty grade

on day 7 of Lexapro, get a quick one hour burst of feeling midly normal and then nothing, im fucking burning in hell right now...

any positive ssri stories here?

Same as yesterday. Just want to get off this shift and sleep. She hasn't texted me back since last night's cringe worthy conversation so I'm shit out of luck.

>>25733007

Now you have a reason to live. Bowie was desperate for his legacy to survive to the next generation. It's your responsibility for the kids being born today to listen to Ziggy Stardust.

>>25732876
Don't try to hide it mother, I see it all. I see the dread and disappointment in those blue eyes. I understand now i'm not the son you thought I was going to be.

You spoiled me as a kid and got me everything I ever wanted and more now I reflect on it you were the best mother I could ask for, but now here I am at the age of 19 a broken man, a man once full of life but defeated at the very age his life should start.

That boy full of life and ambition is sadly gone my sweet mother and I know you try your hardest to get him out again. I remember telling you that I was going to become successful and spoil you for being the best mother I could ask for. I'm sad to say that they won't ever happen now my dear mother, I am a disappointment who never progressed with his life.

I see the fear in your eyes and the fear is well placed, you know what I'm going to become and it kills me inside, I wish I had the confidence and the man power to make a life for myself but I just can't do it my dear mother.

I know Dad wasn't around much but that doesn't give me much of a excuse, we made the most out of what we had right? I promised you I would become a rich successful person and look after you, give you anything you wanted for being such a special woman in my life.

I'm just grasping at straws now mother, I know deep down I will be a failure and when you die my life will be always reminded of the fact I let the most special person in my life down. I am truly sorry not being what you deserved but being what you had to put up with. Love you always

>>25732876
thinking about suicide again, maybe I should just do it so I don't have to deal with anything anymore.

>>25733329
Is it an album? Name pls

I really have problems and talking about them makes them feel even more real.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hW93CV6m-JU

>>25734118

GGUW

>>25732876
I'm holding up good. I mentioned yesterday about how I've been crying a lot lately and just more anxious

I realized today after I had some heart palpitations that I've been drinking an obscene amount of caffeine almost every day. Like 8 cups of tea and two to four cups of coffee.

gonna try scaling down to just water and see how that goes.

>>25734030
>19
>man
>broken
come back to me once youve got some hair on your balls

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>>25732876
I don't know if I can go further OP my tharapsit screamed at me today saying that I shouldn't come back. It hurts I got him angry it was my fault but I think I crossed the fine line between an argument and complete hate. I don't think I can bear to see his face I ruined the already little relationship we had. Fuck my autistic thinking mind of going in circles I just drove him crazy with my pointless problems.

>>25734768
why'd he yell at you?

>>25733007

>2014
>tell girl at a party about music I like, includes David Bowie
>"wow anon you listen to some weird stuff, I've never heard of any of those"
>flash forward 2016
>chat up same girl on fb
>"OMG anon David Bowie died I literally cried the entire day"

This man's death has enabled my anger about society to reach previously unknown levels.

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>>25734848
He was telling me to take up meditation but I refused saying it was bullshit, then one thing lead to another and I was yelling at him and he was at me. Saying that I can't judge him. I said I didn't care who he was or how he is. Then he layed it on me and said how horrible his childhood was and how mine compared to his is petty and overblown. It hurts man the stuff he's been through it's horrible. I can't compare my problems to his he must want to shoot his brains out when I talk about my petty problems.

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>>25732876

I'm well caffeinated.

>>25735365
Do you get coffee anxiety too

>>25735332
That guy is no professional. Go look for a better therapist asap.

>>25734768
it's a bad day
what to do when you know you're too pussy to ever, ever kill yourself but life is terrible annyway?

>>25735332
fuck that therapist if he's not stable himself he shouldn't be doing that anwyay. get a new one

>>25735332
Don't feel bad. People who don't have their own shit sorted out shouldn't be allowed to become therapists.

today feels empty, i love it its the best ive felt in ages, i hope nothing will change it, but i know i have to go outside today, so i wont last..

>>25735380

Do you mean anxiety from coffee? No, it I don't really get anxiety about anything anymore.

>>25735411
>>25735445
He is stable even has a happy family now I just don't think I can even hope to relate to him now. I will always feel like my problems are now inferior to his old ones. 2 years now wasted I don't think I can look him in the face he was the last person I could actaully talk to normally yet my cynical personality broke even that small bond.

>>25732876
sick but my wife made spicy food which is great when i'm feeling sick. skipped work to play video games lol

>>25732876

As bad as ever. I'm just floating along pretending like I exist by hiding in things that should give me joy but instead just pass the time. I cling to them like a vine and drain them dry until all that remains is frustration.

>>25732876
My depression has probably been the worst it has been in a year or so. I got diagnosed with a lifelong incurable chronic illness and that hasn't bolstered my mood.

the only thing that makes me feel happy anymore is doing my oneitis' homework for her because she's in a very difficult private school and is overly stressed about exams and getting accepted into a good uni.

I realized I have no reason to avoid suicide. My life is just a long wait for death anyways.

Same old, same old. Scratching up my leg with a rusty screw, hoping I get tetanus. Nobody I normally talk to is awake at the moment so I'm moping alone.

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>Didn't win the powerball

That was my only way out of this shitty life