Try to be original, instead of >muh no gf
>tfw your mom will never be proud of you
>tfw jannies keep deleting my steam friend threads
>tfw you realize you'll get to see everyone and everything you love die one day either that or you'll die yourself before that happens
>tfw nothing matters, it's all just gonna turn to shit, why pretend?
>tfw you'll never know if that look she gave you was her wanting you
>not posting the wallpaper version
baka desu senpai
>tfw op won't let you post >muh no gf
>muh no gf
>walk by a cemetary
>hundreds of people down there
>most of the didnt achieve their dreams
>all they are now are faded names on a stone
Such is the fate of the human race. At least if I go on a killing spree people will remember me. Hell maybe ill be the one to change the world for the better. The sacraficed hero.
>TFW EVERYTHING HURTS
EVERYTHING IS PAIN
I'M TIRED OF IT
> tfw jessica will never be real
> tfw she is so beautiful
> tfw you play as her almost every time you play
> tfw you imagine being with her from near the beginning of the zombie attack
> tfw you imagine her rescuing you on barlowe street
> tfw you imagine her telling you that she might know how to get the cure from biotec
> tfw the two of you go inside and fight your way through the zombies
> tfw you escape with the cure but the helicopter crashes
> tfw you spend nights cuddling with her on top of apartment buildings with old tattered army blankets
> tfw at first she doesn't like you, but slowly you connect over your past experiences while sitting there on the concrete in the cold darkness
> tfw eventually she gives in and you kiss her for the first time
> tfw she is yours forever
I may be a 25 year man who has never even kissed a woman, but there is no one I would rather give myself to than Jessica. I imagine I am with her every night, I warm my pillowcase and cuddle my pillow pretending it is her. Sometimes I talk to her.
Last night I pretended I was with her, with my hand in her hair, feeling her warm scalp under my fingers, another arm draped over her waist, pulling her close to me. Feeling her breasts smoosh against my chest, and looking into her eyes, promising her that nothing will ever hurt her.
It's the best I'll ever get but honestly I don't mind too much anymore.
> tfw fucking up all of your classes because you're so fucking lazy you won't do the easy work
> tfw your parents are completely disappointed in you
> tfw upper middle class, get so many chances
> tfw wasting them all because spoiled kid
Help me senpais
>all my former classmates are now on higher education or have already graduated
>the few ones that didn't bother with college or universities still have some family business to work at and friends to hang out with
>i spend EVERY day in front of my pc
ATLEAST I HAVE YOU GUYS, RIGHT?
>tfw pretend to be normie to talk to some people
>tfw they actually accept you and talk to you
>tfw after sometime they get bored of you cause they think you are a normie
>tfw they are so normie they think they are deep and ironic fags
>tfw lonely as fuck
>tfw no gf
>>tfw pretend to be normie to talk to some people
Doing that with an online community I've known for almost a decade. It's killing me. Can't stand to lie to my online GF.
>tfw you finally got introduced to Evangelion
>tfw you finish whole show in under two days
>tfw it isn't enough
>tfw you love Shinji
>tfw he is our best representative in media
>tfw even he has more romantic experience than me
>tfw it finally happened: I finally became obsessed with an onime series
Help me, fellow robots, I can't stop thinking about it.
>tfw everyone just waits for me to finish talking so they can talk more about themselves
>tfw I get mad, but I realize I'm the exact same way
>tfw I try to be less selfish, but I think everybody's 100% selfish
>tfw idk how to interact with people anymore
>tfw idk what I even want from people anymore
>tfw idk what I'm doing here
>tfw at least I know why I always feel so alone. because as far as my brain knows, I'm the only thing that's real.
>friend tells really good story about someone you don't know
>perfect opportunity to tell that story in another setting
>don't want to lie and say it happened to a friend of yours
>can't say it happened to someone you don't know without it sounding awkward
I do wonder how often this has happened to others and how many stories I could have heard but didn't
>tfw am interesting but not explicit or enough of a consistent poster to be obsessed over
>at this point even genuinely starting to open up about my side projects and interests would seem desperate
>tfw no matter what you do it feels like everyone doesn't like you
>tfw people praise you but you assume they're mocking you
>tfw it feels like everyone knows something you don't and you're the butt of the joke
>tfw nothing better to do but come to r9k
>tfw see someone post about a subject I've convinced myself I'm an expert on
>tfw post my unsolicited opinion of their feels
>tfw now I feel better
>tfw that's my idea of 'fun'
>tfw when thinking too much about everything
It's a dangerous habit...
Honestly one of the most depressing things is in the game chat when she says "thank you" her line is "if you were a bit cuter I'd kiss you" which was devestating for me because it reminded me how ugly i am and how if she was a real girl I wouldn't have a chance with her. But I just don't use that line anymore. I like playing as her in single player and using the quarto thing to say voice commands. Her voice is so soft and soothing and I love her. I tried to move the files onto my mp3 player so I could listen to her voice as I fall asleep, but I couldn't find them and was worried I was going to accidentally delete something and corrupt my steam files. I wish I could find an MP3 but when I asked someone on a server they laughed at me and told me I was a gay cunt.
My biggest problem is that there isn't any good way I can play with Jessica in singleplayer because the survivor bots (which I learned to spawn) tend to ammo-dump pretty quickly and run out of ammo, and are also very stupid. So I am often forced to play online and find a server with someone playing as Jessica so that I can follow her and protect her. But the problem with that is that I realize whoever is playing as her is likely some fat 300 pound neckbeard with autism and acne, so it ruins my fantasy a lot of times. Usually I can ignore it and pretend that it is just Jessica, but noe time the guy playing her came into the chat telling us his girlfriend had just dumped him. This made me really mad and I told him to get the fuck off of the server, and when I explained why everyone started laughing at me and I had to quit the server after throwing a grenade at them in anger.
>tfw will always be the outsider
>tfw was abandoned by my mother as a child
>tfw fear abandonment more than anything
>tfw any connection I make with anyone ends with me suffocating them out of fear of them abandoning me
>tfw anxious and stressed constantly about what the "natural" amount of interaction is
>tfw constantly jealous, emotionally devastated when someone cancels on me (provided I can actually make plans)
>tfw last relationship I was in ended with me
crying and begging them not to abandon me
>tfw consciously know what I'm doing, and that I can change it
>tfw cannot summon the will power to seek help or change myself
>tfw it is much easier to just slink into being a victim
>tfw you wonder if living completely alone is better, at least you won't be abandoned
I just want someone to love me.
Things are going well... although "project" might have been a bit grand of a choice of words.
Maybe I might try to garner your attention less directly some time in the future but right now isn't a good time.
>I tried to move the files onto my mp3 player so I could listen to her voice as I fall asleep
I'm sorry anon. You have to learn to stop fearing it, and that might make people less likely to do it. The thing you don't want to do is suffocate them, because then they will leave. Just give them a real reason to stay.
Well best friend just tried to kill himself.
I don't know what to do anymore. e swallowed a bunch of anti-depressents and Hepititis C pills.
>Idolize Sherlock Holmes as a kid
>Grow up bitter, egotistical, obsessive, and unable to relate to my peers
>Not smart enough to make my flaws worth dealing with
>Now i'm just a shut-in who makes the people around him think he's smart
I would sacrifice anything to be the smartest.
I honestly think I may have just had undiagnosed ADD. That's probably an excuse.
Didnt mean EoE, in some panel Anno talks about how there was supposed to be a movie after that where Shinji finds a settlement and fights the Angels again because they eat people or some shit. Apparently theh couldnt show angels eating people on tv but he compared it to Attack on Titan.
Our paths may never cross again. Were you ever queried by me?
How many friendships and relationships have been severed?
>tfw you see someone instantly pickup hobbies
>tfw everyone seems to know what to do with their life
>tfw you can hear the pity/disapointment in your parents voice
>tfw only person in entire family to have never had a girlfriend
>tfw you stopped seeing your nephews as they got older incase your patheticness rubbed off on them
>tfw you will never be good at anything
I opened up to her about my issues and ever since then it's been dead silence.
I guess talking about my loneliness helped me become lonelier.
>tfw the only romantic partner I'll ever want in my life is a perfect clone of me but female.
>tfw you will never become the Spirit of Justice itself
>tfw you will never achieve the pleasure that comes with smiting those whom you have deemed wicked
>tfw you will never get to tell anyone what happens to you after death
>tfw you will never be an apprentice to the greatest minds in history
>tfw you still have 60+ years left on this wild ride
>angels eating people
holy FUCK that would have been a hell of a movie
Okay, good, because I disliked Asuka because of what she said about Shinji's mom, what a fucking heartless bitch.
Isn't the rebuild series the three movies, which are basically the same?
>tfw also dumb
>get anxious at work
>constantly make mistakes, struggle with basic math
>cant even pack bags without freezing up
>all my co-workers hate me
feels not good, i wasnt always like this
i used to be so confident, I don't know what happened
>tfw grills always ask for your instagram name but you only have 20 followers so she'll lose interest knowing you're a loser with no friends but it's also weird not to have an instagram or any social media at all
The rebuild series is like having the Eva universe go down a different timeline where different events occur
The first two films are very similar to the original series,
the third takes a hard left,
and the fourth one is either coming out this year or next year
>that horrifying, soul-crushing feel when you realize you have no family left and you're completely alone in the world
Were you ever queried by me?
I'm not 100% sure on what you mean by this but you appraised me and decided I was boring once I think.
I'll do my best to change that and try again some time.
I know what I HAVE to do anon, it's finding the way to do it that's proving the problem.
I was old enough to remember every detail of what happened, but to this day I don't know why. I often think that maybe if I knew why I could move past it. But that is simply not possible.
I haven't had many relationships, most girls see the red flag pop up and immediately get out. In fact, just in the last week I managed a date with someone I had been speaking with for a little over 2 months. It went well, and we texted a lot, but eventually she stopped texting back and cancelled on me.
Tonight we were going to cook together and watch sci fi movies, she cancelled just as I had finished buying everything at the grocery store. I cooked it and ate alone. Friendships on the other hand, countless. They all end the same. It goes well for awhile, and when I inevitably reach out to them and drop the normie facade, they leave. I don't know if it's me, or if no one wants to have a legitimate connection anymore. It's not like I start telling them how fucked up I am within a week of meeting them.
>tfw your mom is proud of you even though you know you haven't done anything to deserve it
Also, it's a lot better to be alone
As someone who's had friends and social groups its much less taxing and freeing without them, plus of all the people I've known I've only genuinely liked 2%, and he died, so yeah.
I only have like 6 friends in the world, all from high school, and they are all making new friends. My Skype friend from Bangladesh told me that by sophomore year, they and I won't be friends anymore. I'm terrified of that.
Sounds interesting. Think I will start watching them tonight, though I remember seeing one a long time ago with my cousin years ago. I liked Shinji then, but it was before I realized how beta I was, so I didn't defend him when he got shit talked.
>tfw she didn't texted me back
>tfw said to much again
>tfw you feel empty inside
>tfw your roommate who used to be one of your best friends just hangs out with his GF all day, everyday and you two barely talk anymore and the only thing you hear from their room is giggling
>tfw the one girl to show you love left you unexpectedly
>tfw you thought you met another who made you feel something, but she just ends up with someone else and is too oblivious to realize it hurts you so she messages you saying how happy she is she just got laid
>tfw it's just the beginning of the semester and you already want it all to end
>tfw you're just distracting yourself with cartoons and vidya, ignoring your underlying problems
>tfw the only other friend who understands you is boy crazy, and he only messages you to complain about how this guy won't date him, and even when you try to talk to him about your issues, he ignores it completely and just goes on about how bad he has it.
>tfw you want to end it all, but the only thing holding you back is that it would hurt your family
At least my family loves me, and I've got good grades. But that's it. I don't have any friends anymore
that feel when you've failed at every single thing you've set out to do in life and have only excelled in things you've half-heartedly done and/or had no passion for
that feel when the only people who still believe in you only see those things which you excel at as evidence of your ability to survive and make something of yourself
that abstract feel when living a life where others praise you for things that feel like picking up sticks while ignoring things that feel like holding the whole world up
>tfw getting addicted to work
>losing any interest in video game and anime
>can only feel alive when working
what have I become?
It's tough to even properly articulate how it feels. It's like all the warmth drains out of you and you feel like you've got this black hole in your chest trying to suck you in and you're scared and helpless and you just want to cry. That's what it feels like every time I remember that I have nobody.
They're a good look at an alternate reality for the characters,
I can only hope in 4.0 that Shinji actually finds peace
Knowing Anno, he probably won't
>I'll do my best to change that and try again some time.
Just bee ursef. My validation should mean nothing to you.
Sounds rough. I hope you eventually seek help.
And this goes to show, you can find someone who will be your best friend, you just gotta keep looking and it just kind of happens
After my experiences, I just prefer my own company, but thank you for the condolences anon
>My validation should mean nothing to you.
It's not something I need but (you)'s for reasons other than bait are always nice, and you seem pretty swell to your current marks.
Having you scour for my posts and amass a folder would be... flattering. You know?
>fat and socially retarded
>work up the balls to ask a 5/10 fatty coworker who would be a 9/10 without the weight for her number
>too scared to call her
>1 year later
>Lost 71 pounds
>Lots of attention from 7/10-9/10 girls
>Not sure if I want to try again with the fat girl or just embrace my inner chad and go for the newly interested/more attractive girls
A weird feel but a feel nonetheless.
I feel so useless when around people whether it be a stranger, friend or relative, I want to help them with whatever they are doing or experiencing but I always get declined and they decide to tough it out alone. I can't help but feel some immense guilt that I'm not doing enough for others to warrant them accepting me. I can't really explain it but one of these times was when a room mate was cleaning up and I asked if they wanted my help but they said no, I can't help but feel immensely guilty that I'm doing nothing and they are doing something. Like I said these feels translate to wanting to help others mentally too which makes me feel like a shitty person to rely on.
Sorry for some incoherence this really is just a bit of a ramble.
>tfw you will always be autistic
>tfw you will never get to be happy
>tfw you will never know what it's like to have friends and family that love you
>tfw you never got a chance at life
>tfw bad at everything
>tfw my life is the definition of failure and there is nothing that can fix it
I suspected that it was you. Your writing style is a bit noticeable and awkward. There are things that I want to ask about our mutual interest but I know I shouldn't. You should really stop posting anything about that person. Attention on /r9k is not what this person needs right now.
Anyways, are you still in contact with necrofag? I used to talk to her when I was anon. I wondered how her career has progressed.
>tfw absolutely none of the whiney babies in this thread have any real problems, other than a lack of gfs
You want to know feels, faggots, try having a parent with Alzheimers, a toddler with cancer, or having just lost your job and you support a family.
Get the fuck out of here you faggots. Finish your studies, get a job, and live your life.
The real "feels" you have yet to experience, is what I see from this thread.
>you will never live in the 80s
>I don't know what to do. I want to make my parents proud of me, because they deserve it after all the shit they've been through to get me where I am. But I think I have serious depression, this shit's been going on for a while.
>Either I can't sleep, or I sleep and then sleep way too long. I'm always tired and have completely lost motivation and hope for the future.
>My mind doesn't work like it used to, I can't focus or plan anything. As it stands it looks like I may get kicked out of uni because my work is fucked.
>On top of this it turns out that due to genetic predisposition I am pre-diabetic and need to get my health sorted ASAP or become seriously ill, but it's practically impossible when I'm trying to balance all this shit.
>I just feel like a deer in headlights, I have to move but I just can't. I wish I could sleep forever or just take some time out to get my shit sorted.
>h-hey you guys, your feels are immediately disqualified because MY feels are way worse!
Fuck off, it's not a competition and this isn't fucking triage. You may be happier on a board such as /b/, or /pol/.
>Live in Birmingham, MI land of the rich white people
>Live in an awesome house
>Eat the best food every day
>Best shape I've been in
>Paid for my month long trip to Japan
>Progressing well on learning the language
Yet I feel nothing most days. Like if there was a button to end the existence of the universe I would press it in .1 seconds.
>You should really stop posting anything about that person.
Oh, I'm aware. That message is a tad late, though.
>a bit noticeable
Oh... I guess that's nothing new.
The last I talked to her was in a thread here, and you'd probably seen it. In light of events, I was feeling pretty optimistic and so I gave her a status update on whether I might be dead in a forest at some point, or rather that I might very likely not be.
I'm not sure how she's doing besides some vague notion of progress.
Before I say anything I want to clarify that I know I'm an edgy, pathetic, unlikable faggot
I have some trouble with my emotions, but especially anger. I've had this deep, irrational hatred, frustration and irritation for most people all my life, without any adequate outlet for these feelings. When people do anything to actually warrant my anger (pic related, for example, or something as minor as someone cutting me off in traffic, or as major as my parents directly causing my little brother to kill himself), I completely fly off the fucking handle. I've done horrible things to try and feel better, no normal coping methods seem to help. I feel like an edgy teenager that never grew out of their emo phase. I'm 24 now, trying to live a life of my own and it feels almost impossible when I have to constantly battle the nearly overwhelming urge to berate, attack, torture and kill nearly everyone I see. I know that these are not rational feelings but I can't seem to get control of them, only shove them down until they boil over and ruin my life again. I've had to start over so many times.
> tfw I have that same feel
currently trying to fix it, though
>tfw everyone thinks you're the funny guy but is actually wanting to end it
>incredibly loving and caring parents
>like legitimately great, wouldn't even call them overprotective
>always feel guilty because of how much of a shitfuck failure I am
>struggle to look straight into their eyes
>every time I want to be honest about myself and make at least some kind of self-deprecating statement they say that it's not true
>TFW a friend freaking out is the only reason you haven't ended it yet
>used to fap once a day every day
>start using opiates
>urge to fap disappears only fap once every few weeks or something
>decide it's been a really long time since last I last fapped so might as well do it now the public boners are annoying as hell
>too high to fap but do it anyways
>can't fucking cum go for more than an hour and it gets super frustrating
>finally just try my hardest and start burning the skin off my dick and grab on as hard as I can
>finally "cum" just a vague orgasmy feeling and no actual semen comes out because my urethra is probably totally collapsed right now
This is the most disappointing and pathetic thing to happen in a while. If I wasn't so high right now the pain from my burned dick would have me in tears. I wish I was dead.
>tfw he's dying and you never really spoke to him
>tfw he brought you into this world to save his marriage
>tfw you're angry at him for dying and don't know how to connect with him
fuck all your feels that have to do with fembots. women exist to reproduce and serve as rewards for men who live well. once you figure that out, life goes down easier.
>tfw you spent all of highschool orbiting one girl
>tfw 3 years in college realizing the only reason you have no relationship experience/dont know how to approach women is because of this
is it too late?
>tfw i lost contact with the other half of my family after the divorce
>they were the reason my childhood was happy
>everything turned to shit after the move
>haven't talked to most of them in almost 12 years
>tfw they've tried to contact me before and still want to reconnect,but i'm afraid that my happy childhood memories will be tainted by going back and i'll have nothing left to cling to
>mfw i sometimes go on their fb and i see beautiful nieces and nephews i've never met
and of course
>tfw no gf
Knowing my mom loves me and is proud of me is actually worse, some how. Because she thinks, honestly and sincerely, that I'm intelligent and capable when I'm really not. She's a very nice, if not very eccentric woman. I feel badly for her.
Honestly, with how many people have done it, you still wouldn't be famous now unless what you did was especially terrible and the trial was interesting.
Reminds me of a graveyard by me; there's a huge grave marker of a marble tree, from the late 1800s. It's dedicated to a woman who died from flu in her early 20s, by her husband.
>It's engraved with "Our love still grows"
>He's buried right beside her, plain marker
>He died 50 years after she did
>Seemingly didn't remarry; no second wife buried by him, no kids, etc.
>I'll never love a damned thing that much
>tfw get close to having a gf, but fuck it up
>tfw get close to having an active social life, but fuck it up
>tfw get close to being a normal person, but fuck it up
>tfw parents didn't know what the FUCK they were doing while raising me
>tfw knowing the rest of my family looks down on me
>tfw just wanting to have a conversation with people without getting tongue tied
>tfw progress with improving myself is going agonizingly slow
>tfw went on my first "date" with a friend, and even though I know I made some fuck ups it went okay
>tfw everyone I know likes me just for the sheer fact I'm not a dick and can be funny and sweet
>tfw I can tell I'm a different person, a better person, a more mature person and a more likeable person
I think I'm gonna make it, bros.
>mfw I was called mean and annoying by a girl I've only known for a few weeks
>mfw I was told I was like a school shooter
>mfw I was described as being mysterious but in a dangerous way like a shark or like I'd pull a knife out at any moment
>mfw I desperatly don't want to be alone but being told that just makes me want to give up trying knowing that I'll never be able to connect with anyone
>tfw the closest to a gf you ever had was a girl who lives in another country that texted you everyday for 6 months
A few days ago she started texting less and less and dont text me for a week. Feels bad man, I miss her...
>be me 17 at camp for the summer
>nearby camp is shut down this year
>new influx of people
>don't care for any of them except one qt in particular
>realize that she'll be on the same team as me
>try my best not to sperg out and talk to her
>actually works, think she's genuinely into me
>rest of camp she finds any excuse to be with or near me
>having a great time for once in my life
>final night of camp
>up late because space presentation
>look for her so we can sit together
>see her laying in the grass in the arms of what was one my friends
>she literally didn't show any previous signs of interest in him
>didn't know what to do
>sit in the bathroom for the next hour
> cry uncontrollably
That was the beginning of what was to be the lowest point of my depression. But it got worse
>mid October now
>still feel like shit
>get invited to a roasties stupid party
>convinced to go from "friends" because I needed to get out
>the kid from summer camp was there
> says hi to me like were still friends
> told me he knew I was into the girl and that they made out
>go to bathroom and cry again
>leave without telling anyone
She still texts me every once and a while when she's "bored". I know I need to move on from this bitch, but a part of me likes that she talks to me. I hate myself for being nice to her, but its the only time a female talks to me so I continue
>tfw forced myself to start caring less and less about her
>I'm succeeding more and more everyday and it makes me feel bad
>I know that once I stop distracting myself and think about her again i'll end up right back where I started
I need to find a new girl lads, but I don't want a new girl, hell I don't even want her, but I do want her.. y'know?
why is being a good person such a bad thing god damn it
>tfw she sends me a message
>Haven't heard from her since then
Why do I even bother. No one will ever talk to me, no one will ever notice me but I still hope things will turn for the better. Just end me, I don't want to go on like this.
>tfw want to see kizu but don't want to walk alone at night
>tfw can't argue with anyone because I start shaking profusely
Fuck. I just want to tell that other person over the internet why he's wrong.
>tfw having to wait for one important message the whole day
>tfw my heart will noticably beat faster throughout the whole day
>tfw I will check my cellphone a billion times today
>tfw a heatwave will go through my whole body once I see that the message arrived
>tfw I will be scared for a few long moments to actually look at it
I'll probably die of a heart attack today before I can even read the message
>In a room full of people
>Anytime you wait for a moment to say something they just instantly talk over you
>Don't acknowledge you even opened your mouth
Who knew it was possible to feel this alone surrounded by people?
>tfw touched gf's feet for the first time today
This is a good feel :)))))))))
>Grill at work
>She always tries to switch stores for one of us so we work together(we have 2 stores in the mall)
>Always says she likes working with me
>We stay in the store during our break so we can bullshit
>Talk a bunch and get a long great
>Stop at the bar after work when we can
>Both broken people with shit pasts and families
>Always talks about how she can't find a good guy and doesn't want a relationship
>Pretty sure she only likes me as a friend.
Sucks pretty bad desu senpai. This is the closest i've been to a grill and I know it's not going to go anywhere.