What /r9k/ doesn't understand is that the meeting a girl process is not something that just happens. It's not something you can post about or study or really learn to get great at. You just have to walk up to a girl and gauge their reaction. Pick what seems to be an appropriate girl for your style or whatever, initiate something and judge based on her reaction.
>but I have to talk to them! Yes that's true, unless you're magnificently good looking you will most likely have to approach other people. If you don't want to do that, then you don't deserve a girlfriend. And if you think you can not want to do this but still deserve one, you are delusional.
>>25726794 You're fucking hopeless and you're asking HOW DO I TALK TO GIRLS WITHOUT ACTUALLY TALKING TO GIRLS you piece of utter fucking waste. You don't understand how to read reactions, you don't deserve human interaction and it's okay because you will never get it. You literally should kill yourself if you're unwilling to try.
>>25727151 >they will ignore you if you are not on top You know this is not true. You've seen fat guys, weird looking dudes or otherwise uninteresting dudes with girls and if you deny this then you are so far beyond hope it's delusional
>>25726589 >youjust have to walk up to a girl and gauge their reaction I understand that this is easy for you, I get it So show the same understanding when we say that the idea of that is incredibly frightening, yeah I get it I'm a pussy who can't talk to people, don't act like I can just get over it though >Pick what seems to be an appropriate girl for your style or whatever what does this even mean? >initiate something and judge based on her reaction elaborate, this could be interpreted a hundred different ways
>>25727219 Anon, it is very, very hard for me. It is one of the hardest things I've ever made myself do. If you are literally unable to talk to girls, start talking to random guys on the street. Ask the time, for a smoke, fucking anything. This is not something that will last forever despite what lazy retards like to tell you here. You can work gradually on this.
>Pick what seems to be an appropriate girl for your style or whatever
See a 10/10 cheerleader girl? Maybe you're not interested in those types of people. Don't approach people who obviously have some sort of potential agenda. Do you wear button ups and shoes, have a specific sense of style? Maybe don't approach a girl who wears short shorts, flip flops and I <3 EDM tank tops. Do you see what I mean?
>initiate something and judge based on her reaction THe problem with explaining this shit is that human interaction can never be put down in a handbook. It's so different and complex. You just have to say something. Like when I approach girls at a bar, I always do it about music because I play music and I like music and after hanging out at this bar long enough I can pretty much tell which girls are into the music. I'll say something about the band, like maybe
>Hey, what did you think of that set?
And she can either go
>It was good.
And dead pan shit and not really give anything else. At this point I'll maybe ask if she knows the band or anybody, and if she doesn't perk up I just move on. She is clearly not interested in speaking to me.
If she reponds like
>Ehh they were okay but not that great, I like the type of music but not the band
Fucking anything that is a proper response, I like to say something like
>Oh come on! A pint says you can't tell me about any better bands who do X or Y or whatever
or just keep asking her questions about the genres or whatever.
>>25727368 > go to a place where you'll have altogether a shitty time > talk to random girl about shit neither of you cares about, in the hopes of winning the lottery and making a connection > crash times and times again > become that guy who asked out 500 girls and got banned from university and every bar in town
>>25727486 > go to a place where you'll have altogether a shitty time Then don't go to a bar you mongoloid there's other places to talk to people, various events and gatherings are always happening in bigger cities >talk to random girl about shit neither of you cares about, in the hopes of winning the lottery and making a connection If you weren't autistic you'd realize I said talk about shit you DO care about motherfucker, you don't understand that. It's really not that hard to engage people once you get over how terrifying it makes you feel at first. And there's methods of determining which girl will respond more positively. Genuine question though, how do you expect to meet a girl? How does this work to you? > crash times and times again Of the last three girls I've approached, one rejected me, one is talking with me through text currently and I had sex with one that night. > become that guy who asked out 500 girls and got banned from university and every bar in town Only in your paranoid world where everybody seemingly keeps track of every interaction you make would anyone ever be kicked out of a fucking BAR for trying to ask out girls. But knowing your apparent attitude and the attitude of this place in general, you'd probably be creepy as shit and not realize how to actually talk to human beings because you feel you don't have to practice and just deserve shit.
>>25727616 That's your fault for not making your intentions clear and continuing to let her dump her shit on you. You probably think being a friend is how people get anywhere romantically, which it isn't.
you're right, you know. unfortunately im too afraid of rejection and to much of an autist to come from the interesting talk towards the sex part. maybe you can have a few words on that part? how do you get from "hey, great band" to"oh yeah take it deep in your mouth".
>>25727633 Maybe if you're at anything remotely related to movies. Or sci-fi. Or maybe if you bring it up in a non-autistic way. Or maybe you should have more than one interest. Maybe people who are only interested in anime and video games (as an example) are not deserving of being with people who don't like those things or have expansive interests, and need to find people who also enjoy those things. .
>>25727628 It sounds like was not happy with himself. He was not content with just "being himself" before. He wanted to improve himself by reaching a goal, which was improving his body. He put effort into achieving that self improvement goal and succeeded.
>>25727683 I've been through it a lot more times than you have and I'm skinny as fuck son. What do you do after that happens, anon?
>what we have right now
Okay so you let time pass before doing this, effectively doing what I said right? Establishing a friendship relationship.
>>25727662 The key is to not let yourself get distracted with the end goal. What I usually do is after I know a girl likes a band I enjoy I just try and muster up every ounce of courage I have and say >yeah I could tell you'd like those guys, a girl as cute as you definitely has to have taste that matches hahah
And yeah it's cringey as fuck and I get embarrassed but if they smile or don't act disgusted it means they're at least interested. Seriously, I have gotten more flirty replies by being balls to the wall flirty than I have gotten strange stares. I'm no 10/10, but I take care of myself because I don't have this weird superiority complex. I know I don't look great.
>>25727722 >>25727703 If you are trying to push your niche interests on someone, without the thought that YOU yourself need to change, you don't deserve a relationship. It's not about people not deserving love, it's about you being so selfish to think that you can go up to any normal girl and only talk about video games and someone have a connection or relationship.
>>25727368 Hmmm, I appreciate that you're trying to be helpful I don't think what you're suggesting would work as well here though specifically >start talking to random guys on the street. Ask the time, for a smoke, fucking anything Maybe this is not so weird in the states, but here where I live there's a good chance you'll get stabbed for that shit
>>25727780 Again, you can't expect something as complex as human interaction to be explained perfectly. It's a template. I am sure there is some, SOME, situation where you live where you can talk to a stranger without getting stabbed. If not, then I think your bigger problem is getting out of your country alive and with all your limbs.
>>25727827 >I DESERVE A GIRLFRIEND REGARDLESS OF THE FACT THAT ALL I TALK ABOUT IS ANIME, AND I DO NOT WISH TO TALK TO GIRLS WHO ALSO LIKE ANIME WAHHHH YOU'RE A NORMIE
>>25727826 Wow, great comeback. I am sure that eventually being a bitter piece of shit never once trying to do something to better yourself or engage another person, always waiting for someone to hand you something will pay off in the end.
>>25727859 Twice have I said that if you have niche hobbies like that, and for some reason you only wanna talk about those as you guys have been acting, YOU NEED TO FIND SOMEONE WITH THOSE HOBBIES. It is unreasonable to expect a girl without those hobbies to be completely hooked into you when you show no desire to talk about anything else or even make an effort. How is this not understandable?
I'm gonna go shitpost and play MH4 before I go out tonight, but I just want you to remember something anons. I'm not a normie. I am not 10/10, I am a manlet and I jerk off to weird shit. But you know what I'm not? I'm not content with being a sack of shit my whole life, so I work on it and I get results. Sometimes I don't, but I don't let that weigh me down. So have fun calling me a normie, feel superior etc. But after I come home from the bar tonight and some qt girl sucks my dick and passes out in my bed, know where I'll be? Right here, browsing this board and the very threads you are. And you will never be able to tell, because we're the same.
Alright everyone listen up; a new meme is being born.
Forget /fit/. Forget /manlet/ or /uglyface/. Forget the notion that girls can be attracted to men the same way men spot girls. Forget girls coming up to you to talk, or going up to them to impress them.
In order to forget this, however, you will need 2 NEW excuses;
#1 >--------- Shitty speaking skills (eloquence)
When speaking to people, we draw blanks. We start sentences without knowing where they'll end up. With every word you speak, your confidence about your message plummets. That is, if you come up with any words/ topics to say. Both people in a conversation must also fall into the same category of thinking style. Let's classify the two types:
- Story-telling - Analytical
Some people simply prefer to talk about things that are real; things that happened and things that are currently happening. These people may be interesting if they're highly observant ("Hey did you notice so-and-so showed up? They were the person that did that-thing-from-5-years-ago-on-the-news!") but more often than not, they are boring pieces of shit. "How was your weekend?" is a conversation starter, but what they are expecting are a series of events made exciting through emotion/ expression.
Now here's what analytical people think is interesting: what do the activities imply. How does it relate to the future. What branching ideas are connected to it. If someone talks about a movie, rather than just go over each sequence/ key moments in the series, they prefer to talk about implications, hidden meaning, where the series can or might go.
Unfortunately, you are far more likely to get story-tellers rather than analysts. This is something you have to be aware of when you start talking with someone and it feels meaningless. You might be on different modes of thinking.
This might be the big one for robots; there is no common ground to sperg out on. Most people don't play the same games you do, most people don't feel the same way about a particular show, anime, or even political/ social movement.
You either need to find places that have people that align with your same interests (lol not gonna happen) or seed new hobbies/ interests for yourself. Mainstream media is mainstream for a reason; it appeals to a massive common denominator. Not the same one every time either; you are bound to like at least something a bunch of other people like. You are bound to love a hobby that others share. Hell, even if you like animals, that still gives you something to talk/ care about.
You do not have to undermine your personality. You do not have to buy into fads/ consumerist trends or any of that bullshit. Most people find it superficial/ cocksuckish.
These 2 things are important in conversation, and will make you interesting. If you have eloquence/ can understand how quickly the other person processes information (or HOW they process it; through feelings and recalling events, or analysing implications and future outcomes) you will be able to talk about something that you have a passion in that can get the person you're talking with excited. THEY don't even have to be enthralled with it to begin with; I'm sure there are some people who can get complete religious normies HYPED UP when talking about a fucking ANIME by pulling all the right strings at the right times.
That excitement is what will get people attracted to you; particularly if it's something you're DOING rather than consuming.
>>25726520 we're fucked. you have to get really lucky, like once my boss hired a qt and she sat next to me. another time a qt lived right next door so that turned out well too.
other than that, we're fucked. we have to force ourselves into uncomfortable scenarios in which we can't have fun just to be around girls, like a concert or something. i went to a concert before and it was incredibly weird (it was mac miller or some 420blazeit white rapper) and i just felt so out of place i walked home.
if you're not beautiful you have to make lots of money. if that's not happening just give up, seriously. if you don't give up hope and move on it will only get worse
>>25728460 >you are bound to like at least something a bunch of other people like. You are bound to love a hobby that others share. Hell, even if you like animals, that still gives you something to talk/ care about. i can't think of anything desu. i mean i like animals but my apartment complex has a no pets policy
>>25728662 Do you have any fun stories involving animals? (no killing/ gutting/ penis cutting or whatever)
Do you have a lot of free time? (Animal shelter help; this is something anyone can get into, feel excited about, and get others excited just talking about- it's fucking easy mode)
I don't do either but I find myself talking about how funny goats are every now and again, pic related I also talk about my neighbors cats that were constantly around when I was little- they were fucking awesome
>>25728708 i cook nearly all of my meals. i have a very autistic diet though, i don't eat any grains, legumes, or above ground vegetables. cooking for me is as much of a hobby as washing my clothes or cleaning my room. i can't eat 95% of food at restaurants i have no choice
>>25728745 stories? none that i can think of at the moment really. and i'm not sure about going to an animal shelter, when I went with my friend to get a puppy there weren't any young qts my age there. just old/fat single women who probably have 50 cats anyway
>>25728858 No, you don't go there to meet girls, you go there to DO shit and gain stuff to talk about. Redirect anxiety to anxious excitement for a specific target/ goal when you're there. There will be plenty of work/ things happening that keeps you from having to try and be interesting with other people. ("How was your daaaaay?")
Now that I think about it, this shit might be worth doing over going to the gym desu.
>>25728912 that's not the problem desu. i didn't have an issue boring girls that i talked to, the problem was going too fast with them because the thirst was intense due to meeting 1 girl a year or so
to avoid the same mistake, i cannot only meet one girl at a time because in my brain she is the ONLY girl and i get oneitis. of course when one is starved for female attention and a girl comes along after a year of fapping it's difficult to remember she's nothing special. in my mind she is special, because it's a girl that acknowledges my existence which only comes around once a year or so.
>>25726794 Dude, it really doesn't work like that. The world isn't out to get you, if you believe that it is then that might be why you have difficulty approaching women. They can sense insecurity and vulnerability, which turns them off much more than not being a 10/10. Hell, I'd consider myself a Chad and I'm not even that good looking, but because I don't give a shit about how people perceive my actions and just take everything as it comes with a smile, the world becomes a brighter place for me to live in.
>>25729509 >because I don't give a shit about how people perceive my actions and just take everything as it comes with a smile, the world becomes a brighter place for me to live in. This. Fucking this. Surprisingly I'm getting more people to approach me once I've stopped giving a shit about what they think of me. It's like everyone was waiting for me to give up trying to appeal to them- when I stopped and just went to do my own shit, it's like a line of people that were waiting were suddenly unleashed on me.
Meanwhile I'm still petty over how they seemingly ignored me for the first desperate and vulnerable part of my life.
>>25729879 >Meanwhile I'm still petty over how they seemingly ignored me for the first desperate and vulnerable part of my life.
Don't get me wrong, I experienced that too, and it did suck at the time. But not being noticed for my looks at the time allowed me to develop character, if I wanted to be accepted and seen as attractive then I should like myself first. So I'm quite grateful that I was shaped by those experiences, as it made the rest of my life fare much better by comparison.
A rule of thumb: before wanting a girl (or guy) to like you, ask yourself this first: if you were in their position, would you want to date you?
>>25730021 So you have something to talk about other than anime. You'll have enough vested interest in it to even talk about the "things I did/ animals I interacted with" aspect of it for the story-telling type people, and the deeper connection/ appreciation for your work that the analytical people can indulge in. You just need to keep the topic going- everyone can appreciate cute animals so if you stick to stories about fun interactions, you will be interesting to talk to.
Listen robots. There is No hope! Unless you are popular or have friends getting as gf is beyond your abilities. Don't listen to the faggot normie advice or you will bqe put on the sex offender list. Normies hate us and there by should not be bothered.
>>25730119 >So you have something to talk about other than anime. i can talk about nonsense, usually. some people are hard to talk to. the problem however is the opportunity to talk to girls. i don't even have any.
>>25729980 > A rule of thumb: before wanting a girl (or guy) to like you, ask yourself this first: if you were in their position, would you want to date you? how the fuck am i supposed to know that? for all i know she has already met 50 chads. that's more people than i've met total in the past 5 years. if I met a girl my age i could get a boner with, she is immediately ranked at least an 8/10 simply because she is an attractive girl that is aware of my existence.
>>25731848 My post was one about improving yourself. Forget the girl for a sec, I asked how YOU see yourself, because that can affect how other people in turn see you. If you don't find yourself attractive as a person, then why the fuck should she?
And even if she had met 50 Chads, you could still make for great company. But if you hold yourself back by that hypothetical number, then you don't get yourself anywhere.
>>25732462 not really sure how i could improve myself. i mean i could make more money, but i don't have any use for it. i have everything i need and i can afford whatever food and drugs i want to consume.
of course that's from her perspective. some girls prefer ripped guys, and i could 'improve' myself by taking steroids and getting huge. but other girls will find that to be too much. i do work out anyway but i suspect you mean improving in other ways besides getting rich and /fit/. i don't really like music so i would consider learning an instrument to be a waste of time, but musician girls would find me 100x more attractive if i could play guitar. although some girls prefer hip hop over rock, while others listen exclusively to metal.
so really, i am unsure about how i can 'improve' myself. i mean i could be happier, more optimistic, but i just don't feel that way and i don't know what i could do to make myself happy
>>25732565 Do you work out? If not, get started. A lot of guys don't like a ripped guy, but they go for a fit and lean figure (see Brad Pitt as Tyler Durden for example). FYI, don't take steroids, that's a retarded idea for many reasons.
Don't like music? What about art, or computer science, or DIY? I know many girls who love a guy who can help around the house and make lots of cool shit with wood. But that's probably not the key ingredient. The key ingredient is appropriate confidence. If you're optimistic, fun to be around, and have good posture, people will enjoy spending time with you much more than if you're the guy in the corner, thinking about what could be with a FA look on your face.
You should probably find ways to make yourself happy before meeting a girl, because your mindset can massively impact how people see you, whether as friends or as a partner. Now it's your life, and I'm not going to hold your hand and tell you how to make yourself happy, but once you do find more optimism in life, then you'll find it a lot easier to approach women.
Trust me, I've had my difficulties with approaching women too, we all have. But only by rigorously improving my character and applying myself in a variety of social situations have I got myself in the position I'm in now, and that's something you should think about.
>Don't like music? What about art, or computer science, or DIY? meh, i'm a programmer for work i don't really enjoy it. i mean i will program something if i need it, i customize my PC heavily, but there's no major project i really want to work on for free. i don't like art at all in pretty much any form desu. and i would DIY something if i felt like it was interesting or a constructive use of my time. i can't really think of anything i want to make.
>You should probably find ways to make yourself happy before meeting a girl i should but i literally can't think of anything desu, besides fapping/eating/sleeping/drugs. those are my only pleasures. wish it wasn't true but it is
Good, keeping working out. Fitness helps with finding a girl, as well as clearing out some of the stress of the day. I work out if someone's pissed me off, and it feels great.
Have you seen those awesome projects that people work on for long periods of time? Things like this (http://imgur.com/a/kJQVk) and this (http://imgur.com/a/q6IOn), when properly invested in, can really be constructive ways to occupy the time, and impress people when you talk with them about the things you make.
Yeah, you should definitely get out more. Cut down on the fapping (if done everyday then it can reduce testosterone and confidence levels, which you need if you want to improve yourself and meet women), and cut down on the drugs a bit. Go out and find new sports, climb cliffs, go fishing - the more things you find yourself doing, the more time you spend finding what you're good at and what you enjoy. Having more interests is always a plus for impressing women too.
>>25733200 yes those things look alright, but i live in an apartment. i have no use for furniture. i have a bed, desk, and nightstand and i would have nowhere to put anything i make and even if i did i would probably have to throw it out in a few months if i move away
yes it would be nice to do those things but i'm afraid i would not enjoy them at all. i went skydiving with my coworkers because my boss invited us and it wasn't fun at all, and the whole time they were commenting on how i didn't seem excited. my boss even said i have the 'emotion of a brick wall'. a few months later we went snorkeling and to not seem unloyal i also went. wasn't fun in the slightest desu.
now i wish i could enjoy normie activities, really. it would make life so much easier because if the normie girls see me smiling and having a good time they will naturally become attracted to me. but something just isn't right. i might be depressed, i have suspected it's nutrition-related but i've gone through so many vitamin, nootropic, and peptide supplements and nothing really helped in the slightest. i can actually say i get at least 100% of my DV of every vitamin on average over the week.
i was never actually happy doing anything in the past. i used to argue on the internet in my free time, and it wasn't 'fun' really but i felt like i was doing something good, helping people understand things from my point of view (the right point of view). but it eventually got old and repetitive.
it's hard but i don't think it can get any worse. as long as i keep lifting i will not get fat. and if i keep working i probably won't get fired -- i am too important at the small company i work at as the senior employee, i'd have to fuck up something really bad to get laid off.
but i have been stagnant for 6 months (since i graduated). my bank account has doubled yet i still spend the same amount of money each month. and if it doesn't get better in a few months i could just an hero
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