>just go outside and talk to girls, it's so easy!
when will this meme end? if you just stand around waiting to pounce on girls while they're walking down the sidewalk they'll think you're a
some of us work for a living as programmers so we can't stay up late and don't have the opportunity to talk to females during the day. and unless you have 9/10 facial aesthetics it's a waste of time to try online dating as any girl over 3/10 is going to get 20 messages per hour
You've obviously never done it, it's rare to even get a girl talking. It's almost impossible for an average or below dude to get a date this way. You have to either have female friends who will set you up or be in a large social circle.
You're creating a false dichotomy. There's a middle ground between no female contact, and fucking pouncing on girls walking down the sidewalk.
FFS there's options other than coworkers or online dating you autist
you will never be chad so you should just kill yourself
Sign up for stuff women like to do. Yoga classes are full of attractive hippie types. Take a cooking class. Take ANY night class (I live in a shitty small town and there's tons of shit like language classes for free one night a week) Find local co-ed houseleagues for various sports. Be social at the gym. Strike up conversations at book stores or music stores (super easy to find something to talk about there). Volunteer.
That's just off the top of my head.
i live in a university town so the girls take uni classes and i've already graduated.
plus there's nothing i want to actually learn right now (that needs to be taught) except hunting/skinning/processing a deer and i don't have the tools for it yet, plus it's not hunting season.
i know how to cook well and yoga is for girls and betas
if these are the only options, honestly i'd rather just live alone. this sounds like hell and i'm sure it would take me weeks of effort to even get a girl's number, and i would have to go through at least 20 girls until one even is willing to have sex with me.
do people even go to music/book stores anymore? I'm not even aware that they exist. plus i don't like music or novels
So you want a girl to just fall in your lap then. I feel like I know what your problem might be.
> there's nothing i want to actually learn right now
> i know how to cook well
I feel like you're missing the point.
it's like going to a concert for the purpose of meeting girls rather than having a good time. i've done it, they can smell the thirst. it was awkward as fuck because everyone was having a good time just being there doing the activity when i wasnt. i just went because it was a social event and i wanted to find girls. in reality it doesn't work like that, same as the college football game i went to (a big deal at my uni).
if i feel out of place it's not going to go well for me. especially if the girl is doing the activity because it's her passion or interest. then she wants to talk about it and i can't because i was only there to meet girls.
have you actually been to a concert with a band you don't enjoy at all? it's not fun in the slightest, and the girls are there for an entirely different reason and aren't standing around waiting to get hit on
Look, anon. A lot of people say shit like 'be yourself'. And that advice is only good if you're looking for like girlfriend/wife potentials. So do that, but don't expect immediate results
If you just want to sleep with women, then be anything but your goddamn awful self. You have to be what they want you to be. And it is fucking work - HARD work. You wanna know why you can't stand chad? It's because he's dedicated so much of his goddamn energy into becoming exactly what women wanted him to become; and he's reaping the benefits.
Chad probably fucking hates himself for it almost as much as you hate him - he just drowns that sorrow in so much vagina.
bullshit, i have a chad friend and he doesn't even try. he loves football, normie music, and he's an extrovert. on top of that he's tall, tan, and muscular.
but he doesn't have to actually try. he just does what he likes to do, what he thinks is fun, and that involves normie shit that girls also do and can see him having fun.
but away from all that he's an opiate addict, crackhead, 27yo who is broke and has been in and out of jail escorting and selling drugs for money for the past few years. a literal bum, i have to feed him because he is too useless to get a job since he can't even get a job that asks for a resume.
somehow he can derive pleasure from the normiest of activities. i am not sure how he can do it, but he manages to just do the things he enjoys and girls are already there around him, seeing him happy and having a good time.
now how the fuck can i do that? how can i make myself enjoy the things i find boring and bland that normie girls do for fun and meet people at?
So how is my statement bullshit then if you totally just explained that his life is shit?
Maybe you can't do it, then. I don't know. But it sounds like you're not willing to put any effort in either so I can't really help you.
I'm also a programmer, but I'm not an antisocial faggot. I have hobbies outside of work that don't revolve around sitting at a desk in a room full of neckbeards, and I have friends that I go out with sometimes.
It doesn't matter what you do for a living, unless you're literally a gimp being kept in a box in someone's basement, you should be able to get out and go to public places where you like being where there are girls that you can talk to.
Now I know its entirely possible that as a programmer you work at a place that has shitty work culture, where your boss and co-workers just fucking expect you to stay late every night, and you end up working 80 hour weeks even though you were only ever meant to work 40 hours a week. Its common in our industry:
Its common because our industry is full of betas and nerds who can't enforce their own boundaries, and would rather get wagecucked by their chad bosses than just saying no to unreasonable demands. So if you have this problem its your fault, you either need to start leaving work on time, or you need to find a better job with a better work/life balance.
Ultimately if you let yourself get wagecucked like this because you can't enforce your boundaries and say no when people try to walk all over you, then you might as well not even bother trying to find a girlfriend, because girls aren't going to respect you or feel safe with you if you can't enforce your boundaries.
In any case the "I work as a programmer" is a bullshit excuse. Fuck you.
his life is shit only in the sense that he is poor in regards to money and stability
however despite being a fucking bum he manages to get laid every week. it's ridiculous, if he wasn't an immature drug addict he wouldnt be a bad
it's not about effort, i don't even know what i could do to have fun doing things i dislike. how can i just change all of my interests into normie shit i have done and didn't like? how do i change my musical tastes? should i really just pretend to like normie music to "fit in"?
What kind of music do you like? I play in a band and it's a great way to meet people.
Granted if you've never played an instrument before that can take time; but its a great hobby even without the opportunities to meet women.
> you should be able to get out and go to public places where you like being where there are girls that you can talk to.
but i can't think of any public place i like being at. am i supposed to have fun at the grocery store? my gym is full of roided up bodybuilders (it's $10 more than the other gym) so i'm not going to meet a qt there unless i want a girl who can overhead press me and snap my neck between her legs.
op here i actually work 5 or 6 hour days because i prefer to sleep in a bit (i'm nocturnal)
but yeah, my problem is that nothing that involves meeting other people seems enjoyable to me. i wish it did. alcohol makes it worse, so far i haven't found a drug that helps. it's not anxiety it's anhedonia
i like black metal and late 80s thrash metal but i really don't listen to music much, it's not my thing. mostly it's just for when i'm cleaning or lifting. i don't think i could manage an instrument, i don't care for music enough. plus girls think extreme metal is scary
Even if you did meet girls in some of those places, you're going to be a boring faggot and have nothing to talk about.
>so what kind of things are you into anon?
Oh well I don't really like anything
>oh... okay.... I think I see my friend over there, nice talking to you, bye!
Its called having hobbies, friend. I can't tell you what to like, you have to find that shit out yourself. But it has to be stuff that you like, not stuff that you think will impress other people.
I know a guy who is really into chiptunes, he puts on chiptune gigs for local artists and gets artists from around the world to make a stop on their tours. Its a weird niche thing, and certainly any normie that turns up to his gigs is like "wtf is this gameboy music bullshit", but there's enough people that are into it that he has a dating pool and a bunch of friends through it.
You have to make an active effort to try things and see if you like them. Maybe take up a sport, like archery or learn to ride a horse or (if you really must) start an anime club, take up painting. I don't care. Just cultivate interests that require you to leave your house, and get the fuck off this shitty website.
Girls come far more easily as the result of living a fulfilling life, they don't cause you to live a fulfilling life.
Do you have shitty social skills? Because I found all social interaction to a gay waste of time before I actively made the effort to learn and practice social skills.
meh, i don't really know. i've tried just about everything i can think of. it's hard for me to do things that aren't productive or simply hedonistic. i work out because i want to be strong, i don't enjoy one second of my time spent at the gym but i do it to stay healthy, like brushing my teeth or eating broccoli.
the only "interest" or hobby i ever had before was arguing on the Internet about politics/news. i eventually gave that up because it got old (and i got banned from all of the debate groups/forums). since then i just started doing drugs because it feels good immediately. i learned programming because i had no useful skills and i got a job doing that now so i don't really consider it a hobby, more of a trade i'm good and and can do to make $ for food and rent
i can have a conversation with people, usually they say something that leads to another question
>>so i've been really stressed lately because i got fired from my job and blah blah blah
yeah i can take the hint that they want to talk about work, so i ask them why they got fired, where they want to work, etc.
i have no problem talking to girs, i had them ask me on dates. multiple girls. it's just they were there: next door neighbors, friends with my roomate, coworker, etc. i didn't meet them outside of the normal activities i do: go to work and shut myself in my room in the meantime. however they usually just stopped talking to me because they thought i just wanted sex, but the thirst is hard to hide when i meet a new girl about once a year. seriously how can someone not drool over a burger after 3 days of fasting?
so yeah i could get a hobby if it was something that should be done. hell i could have a good time spending hours outside digging holes in the dirt if i truly believed that was something constructive that needed to be done. the concept of "fun" is alien to me, i haven't had fun in years
I feel this way and feel awkward as fuck being at a bar or a mall by myself (though sometimes I feel perfectly comfortable and prefer being a rogue).
Yet when I go out with me friends (inb4 reee reeee) it's just us and I don't interact with anyone new.
I work and come home and only have like four to five hours before I have to get to bed, and my hobby is writing, which is by its nature solitary, and also boring to talk about to most people. Such is the life.
Having the same problem as OP. 20 year old guy here. Where in the fuck do I meet girls around my age?
My best bet is just expanding my social circle I guess but at the moment I only have one friend.
Depends where you live.
I'd imagine that a degree only really matters if you're trying to work in Silicon valley or something, but I wouldn't know.
i can't see them suggesting anything besides
>just try new things that all the normies do and like
i can't stay motivated unless it's constructive. if i want a distraction i will do drugs. that's just how i am, it has to be useful or i categorize it in my head as a less enjoyable way to pass time
I don't understand what you do and don't class as constructive so its hard to suggest anything. Is learning a new skill constructive? Or building something? There's a fuckload of hobbies that revolve around long-term projects, car restoration, woodworking, some kind of voluntary shit or charity work.
i could spend a lot of time learning about cars, or how to build things out of wood. but it wouldnt save me anything more than maybe $100 a year. my car is just this thing i use to drive to work, gym, and grocery store it's a tool i only use to go from a to b. i'm not the kind of person who derivatives joy from adding speakers and ricer shit to my car, or having something that goes dangerously fast. and i don't really need furniture but if i wanted to have something made out of wood i would consider trying it. can't think of something though
>i have a hobby but it's not a hobby
what? lifting? i don't enjoy it, it's no more of a 'hobby' than brushing my teeth. same with cooking, i do it to get food. or working. it's not something i do for the sake of doing the activity, i do it because of the result, if i could get ripped and make money sitting on my ass doing nothing i would quit my 'hobbies'
>i meet girls but i don't meet girls
sometimes they find their way in my life, sure. maybe once a year or so, because they happen to live near me or work with me. i mean i could just do my normal activities and wait until a girl comes into my life but that could be years at this rate. i haven't met a girl in over a year.
>i work out but i don't work out
i do work out, i just don't enjoy the activity itself. i don't want to be weak though
>first day of classes on Monday
>had to speak in like 3 of them
>final class I was paired up with a freshman girl for an icebreaker activity
>had to talk with her for 5-10 minutes
>managed to make her laugh a few times
>forced to tell the class about her
>dropped the class as soon as it was over
Fucking professors wanting to turn classes into discussion-based when they're clearly labeled as lecture-based.
Fuck, tell me about it. I only realized the beauty of online classes after my sophomore year so I've barely been able to take any. I'm two semesters from graduating and I've already started picking out online courses so I can be on campus as infrequently as possible.
> the concept of "fun" is alien to me, i haven't had fun in years
Hello me. You have more experience with bitches than I do though.
> Chad thread some weeks ago
> Chad posts some useful advice
> ask him how to get girls as an introvert with no friends, who hates socialization and vapid nights out
> tells me to become what I hate
> I aint willing to hate myself for bitches, they're not worth that much
> Chad has nothing more to say
a quality girl wont give it up for at least a month. you really have to "connect" and for us it's hard to do in general. and if you really like her you will accept that being her bf will ultimately ruin her life in the long run. i had to end it with a girl i met online because i knew i couldnt make her happy being myself and although she disagreed, she would be better off with another guy