Is he right?
>I used to be like you, anon. I lived for twenty something years without realizing how stupid and naive I was. I met people and engaged in conversation with them, but never was able to even imagine that real people go home and get naked in front of others to have sex with them. It just eluded my mind.
>I don't know how often I missed out on happiness because I simply didn't make a move when it was expected of me. Luckily, in the end I came to my senses and realized that it is not only okay to view others as sexual beings but that it is an essential requirement for one's chance at going anywhere with the other gender.
Yeah, it's pretty on point OP. Take every opportunity that presents itself. Even if you fail with people or misread signals, it's all about learning and growth. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
>What about random girls, are you able of seeing them as potential mates that you could have sex with?
I don't understand how some guys never understand this?
All good looking broads at least I see like this
Not really because it's a 100% rigged game in womens' favor and they will fucking destroy you if you cross them or even just on a whim or because they start to bleed out their second shithole.
YOU, the male, have to take all the risks and bear all the liabilities of catastrophic failure.
It's not all sunshine and lollipops. It's playing with fire and YOU are the one who could die. Women literally have nothing at stake and don't give a shit. They will fucking destroy you if it suits them.
Because for some people, sex is just a so far away in their minds that they can't even imagine how tlaking with a fellow student in the hallway of your university potentially could leas to fucking her just 10 minutes later. It's seems such a far-fetched concept. I guess it is a mentality thing that actually stunts many robots in their endeavors for intimacy and relationships. If you don't adopt the right mind-set, it will be extremely hard to win over a girl.
well , most men seek validation of their existence as a response from what they conceive as the reality, validation which is the most intense through taking women, after women have accepted them to be satisfied by them, and nowadays making women explicitly wet.
these men are devoted to women. of course, most women snub most men, since women live for pleasures, being hedonistic-histrionics-egotistic but not narcissistic, which excludes, most of the time, what they consider poor or ugly men since they will never as much pleasure to her as other men.
Only the woman is able to have pleasure for pleasure itself.
higher men are narcissistic, they do not seek validation from somebody else, even less a woman, without being egotistic, but the woman takes this narcissism as her egotism, which thus draws her to these men, for each woman knows that her best lovers are not the puny devoted men, but precisely are her fantasy of men like her, but not like her either !, which means just as egotistic as her, without being narcissistic.
the problem of the woman is that men cannot be ''egotistic without being narcissistic'' (only the woman is this). men cannot be histrionics-egotistic in fact.
the problem of women is that narcissistic men are not egotistic so that they take the woman for what she is, to wit, pure (external) entertainment.
I'm able to imagine them in a sexual situation and I can think things like "I want to fuck her". But I never think, genuinely, that I would have a chance with them. Not only because I think I'm undesirable, but also because they don't seem like the "type" of girl to do that stuff.
I can say at least for me, you're one hundred percent right about this part. The idea that people will just go off and have sex with each other just sort of didn't make sense to me, like the physical act of just going for it seemed weird. I had even been lucky enough to have one girl ready to fuck me if I just would have and another girl that did fuck me despite me being so weirded out by the process.
In my case, it was a result of really low self-worth. I just always had the idea that no girl would actually want to fuck me, because I knew deep down if I were her and knew everything about me I wouldn't wanna fuck me.
It takes a while but the only way I got over it was just thinking about the fact that people don't do things for no reason. "That girl didn't have to start a conversation with me in the elevator, and you go into elevators without talking people all the time, so what makes this time different?" Looking back it blows my mind that I thought women never liked me when there were more than a few girls in my past that had gone out of their way to really try to get to know me. Of course I would never let them, because I would think they were just being nice, and they would move on thinking I wasn't interested.
Of course that's not the situation for every guy here seeing as there are some genuinely awful people and a small number of others just haven't ever had the chance to interact with a woman but I think if most of the guys here who feel weird about the idea of sex thought about it, they could have gotten it pretty easily at some point.
>but also because they don't seem like the "type" of girl to do that stuff.
So dou you agree with the quote in OP that you should try to change your thinking and start regarding the kind of women you fancy as sexual beings instead of girls who wouldn't "do that stuff"? Do you think adopting that kind of mentality would help you in finding intimacy?
I'm exactly how you described because it is a literal impossibility for me.
Would you be in disbelief if I also told you that I can't imagine realistically jumping out of a plane without a parachute and willing myself to fly?
It's the exact same concept: treating impossibilities as potential reality.
>it was a result of really low self-worth
I think that's what it was for me, too. Growing up, I never felt that girls would ever be interested in me. Sex always seemed like something fictional taken out of movies. In the end I think this hurt my development because I was never able to view women as sexual creatures. If anything I used to day-dream about winning a girl over and making me my girlfriend through talking or somehow impressing her. But I somehow completely disregarded sexual physicality. Flirting, touching, physical escalation -- all these simple tools that I didn't use because I simply had adopted a naive mind-set at some point.
>If anything I used to day-dream about winning a girl over and making me my girlfriend through talking or somehow impressing her. But I somehow completely disregarded sexual physicality. Flirting, touching, physical escalation -- all these simple tools that I didn't use because I simply had adopted a naive mind-set at some point.
Yeah I'm the guy you replied to and you put it much better here. I used to do the same thing, just imagine some girl falling for me for some random thing, and like the other guy said I could still think to myself "man I wanna fuck that girl" but I could never really picture actually doing it. Which is weird because I was exposed to porn in like third grade. I think I thought I was taught to respect women by not treating them like a sexual object too literally. Who doesn't want to be treated like a sexual object? Everybody who isn't asexual wants to be thought of sexually, we want to be desired, there's no reason women wouldn't want to feel desired sexually. Come to think of it I actually think this is a part of why I have problems knowing when women want to cross sexual boundaries today, or when a casual talk is actually flirting, because I was taught to just be polite.
Basically, in my mind I guess I was expecting a girl to basically take me in a room alone and tell me that she wants to have sex with me and anything else was no way to be sure, and I didn't want to offend them.
The older I get the more I realize that pretty much all my developmental problems stems from my parents not knowing what the fuck they were doing.
>because I was taught to just be polite
I guess that i strue for me too. My parents were out of touch with how society works because we immigrated to another country with a very different culture. I was raised to be way too polite and I'm quite obedient by nature. My brother on the other hand always had a rebellious side to him, which, I think, helped him with girls.