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You are currently reading a thread in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001

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>"and now we'll go around the class one by one so everyone gets a chance to introduce themselves."

If your heart isn't beating faster than a race horse, your ass isn't getting sweaty, your hands not cold, and your voice not shaking, you need to go back to reddit.
>>
I used to get really nervous when answering questions and shit in class.

Then I turned into an ultra depressed edgelord by 16 which somehow made me more confident because I didn't care what people thought
>>
>>25701703
i literally just leave class when they do this then come back once it's over

the funny thing is i'm at the point where i can do it without getting nervous but i still don't like it
>>
>>25701703
>Hi my name is Stan and I suck cocks in hell
>>
I can talk to people, doesn't mean I can get laid by anything but a 1/10 land whale.

Also I've been here longer so you leave
>>
>>25701703
>OP doesn't know how to lie to an audience
Literally the most valuable life skill and you can't even fake it.
>>
>>25701703
>tfw i actually like that
>tfw i like being in the center of attention
>tfw i rarely have an opportunity to do so
>tfw you are still quiet absolutely lonely bot

Fuck me
>>
>>25701703
you could just git gud, anon

>HY MY NAME IS DADDYCOOL THE VIPPER JOIN MY COMMUNITY OF VIPPERS

its that easy
>>
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That teacher reminds me of someone
>>
>>25702536
IT'S 20 FUCKING SIX...TEEN
>>
>>25701703
My anxiety pops off everytime a presentation comes around. But introductions to the class are easier as you can actually lie in them and joke around in them.
>>
>>25702586

>being able to say a joke in front of 20+ people
>>
That's how I was in middle school, then I got treatment.

>still maladjusted and lonely just not debilitatingly anxious
>>
seriously, what am i supposed to say to appear nice/fun/friendly/whatever?
>hi im anon and im awesome
self-centered delusional idiot
>hi im anon and i enjoy maths and physics
boring
>hi im anon my hobby is football and partying
obvious liar

the last one is pretty good though, unless it's coming out of a robot's mouth
>>
>>25703213
>>hi im anon and im awesome

this you autistic moron
>>
>>25703278
im not autistic you idiot
i just don't know how to make good first impression. whenever someone introduces as awesome i'm certain that he's actually not, but maybe normies are dumber...
>>
>>25703488
>whenever someone introduces as awesome i'm certain that he's actually not, but maybe normies are dumber...

oh jesus dude...
>>
I just go fill sperg, say I like video games and anime and stutter all the whole thing, anyone who speaks with me is gonna find out anyway so why try to hide it. This way normies generally don't even try to talk with me unless they have to.
>>
>>25701703
>Tfw I'll be right back to the classroom in a few weeks
Thanks for reminding me of those first few hours of torture, you sick fuck.
>>
>>25703213
>>25703278
>>25703488
>>25703538
Hi, im anon and im autistic

Fixed that for you, friend
>>
>>25702297
A hearty kek was had
>>
I had to do this so often growing up, I still hate it but am capable of seeming calm while doing it. My asshole parents wanted to move all the time so i had so many different schools, and some of them made me stand at the front on my own and be the only person introducing themselves since everyone else knew each other already.

I usually just say what my favourite film or something is. If your favourite film is something weird and you dont want to seem weird, just say something normies love, like Avengers or any of the marvel ones i guess. Maybe your favourite lesson, if youve moved say where youre from. shit like that
>>
>>25701703

I remember this shit

>I'm anon and I fucking hate you all

Nah, never did it but I wanted to for the most part I was good as long as I wasn't the first one, by the time it was my turn there was some kind of template to follow
>>
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>>25701703
i never know wat to say all my interests are autistic and i get too nervous to make some thing up
>hi uh m-muh name is a-anon and I uh like uh to internet
>spill spaghetti
>>
>students obviously get intense anxiety when forced to stand up in front of the class and introduce their self
>presumably happens every class the professor teaches every semester
>doesn't give a shit and makes everyone d it anyway

what kind of sadistic piece of shit doesnt care about the obvious anxiety experienced by several students when forced to do this
>>
>>25702360
This tbpqh familia.
>>
>>25705465
>when your professor is a chad
>>
>>25705398
Just tell them you enjoy watching youtube, and browsing 9gag and reddit.
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>>25705611
i feel like that would make me sound like a faggot too
>>
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I did the Haruhi introduction on HS, still have a little panic attack every time I remember.

>"From School XX, Anon Robot. I have no interest in ordinary humans. If there are any aliens, time travelers, sliders, or espers here, come join me. That is all!"
>everyone looked at me like a was a retard, while I tried to keep my spaghetti and sound serious
>next day i didnt go the school, and from then on, i tried to think it never happened
>>
>>25705853
thats pretty autistic, thanks for sharing
>>
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>>25705853
Why Anon

Just why
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>>25705556

aren't they all chads and chadettes?
>>
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>>25705903
I thought it was a good idea, the day before I watched the scene several times to memorize and even did it in front of the mirror.
>>
Just because someone doesn't have social anxiety does not mean they belong on reddit.

I do however have actual autism so...
however it is much different from social anxiety, and I have no problem with public speaking. I just am socially retarded when it comes to interpersonal stuff.
>>
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>>25706091
>watched the scene several times to memorize and even did it in front of the mirror.
>>
>>25705853
At what point did you realise that it was a bad idea? Partway through, or at the end?
>>
It's not that hard once you do it a few times.

Fucking middle-schoolers.
>>
>>25701703

this happened irl

>ugly smart dude tells his life story of all his achievements
>everyone just nods or tries to forget about how awkward it was as soon as possible

>hot dumb guy pretends to be shy and just says
>hi i'm [chad] (literally all he says)
>women go apeshit with aaawww and giggling and getting all excited and shit
>THATS ALL YOU'RE GONNA SAY CHAD? REALLY?
>gets swarmed by chicks afterwards
>is now literally the most popular dude in class
>>
>>25706093
this
i can talk at people, i just can't talk to people
>>
>>25706598
When I saw the face of the teacher while sitting down. But it didn't hit hard until the next morning.

Only weeks later someone tried to talk to me, and screwed that too.
>>
>Say something interesting about yourself
Literally why
>>
>>25706873

because that's literally how normies identify school shooters
>>
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>>25706822
>i can talk at people, i just can't talk to people

cruel twist of fate, iktfb
>>
>>25706873
tell them you dilated your anus to a point where you can double fist yourself and not getting constipated from eating a tube of glue
>>
>>25706886
This question doesn't even phase the school shooter types, they're usually so autistic and oblivious that they'll say whatever weird thing

This question exists to fuck with people like us, not the school shooters but just the boring forgettable anxious kids with nothing to say
>>
>>25707077

>watch some guy sit on a traffic cone and engulf it with his ass on some camwhore website
>some dude asks "do you randomly shit yourself as you're walking around?"

i don't remember why but i always laugh when i remember that
>>
>not saying you collect weapons as a hobby while you stutter and shake
>>
That's a good way to get people to leave you alone desu.
>>
>>25707108
I never saw that video but it still made me kek
>>
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>"umm h..hello.. I'm Ellie.. I um.. I... yeah ok.." *sits back down, looking at shoes and taps fingers nervously on desk*
>>
>>25706764
No one actually want to hear people's life story anon. Literally everyone hates introducing themselvefs, and literally everyone hates having their time wasting listening to other people talk about shit they wont remember.

Go up, maybe crack a self aware joke and sit down. Less awkward for you, less frustrating for them. Everyone involved comes out with a positive impression.
>>
>>25706091
Problem is that you aren't a cute gril
>>
>>25701703
Oh, man, I still think about the last time this happened to me in college

> I'm Anon
> *pause*
> That's about it, I guess
> *everyone laughs at me*
>>
>>25701703
Just about everyone gets nervous at these things. I'm in the military and even the commander said "now all the new people get to come up and be embarrassed introducing themselves."

It's done for the benefit of the people who have been there before. They get learn about the new guy while looking back and thinking "Damn I remember how awkward that shit was. Shit sucked for me to. I should help this guy along."
>>
Hi....I'm Juan, I didn't really go anywhere over break....or do anything....*bites fingernail*
>>
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>>25707889
>>25707805
>>25706650
>>25702495
>>25702480
>>25702360
>>25702329

NORMIESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

GIT OUTTTTTTTTTTT

NOW
>>
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>>25701703
H-Hey everyone, hahaahaha.......I'm anon hahahaa......uhhhhbh.......something i-i-nterestin-ng about me is that I jerk it to 2D girls.......I mean play the drums.....FUCK I FUCKED IT UP......*sits*

This is what I said last semester in my Middle East History class.
I didn't go to the rest of my classes that day...
>>
>>25708081
why didn't you say that you are also into sucking 2D girly cock?

your dishonesty probably turned them off
>>
>>25708110
It's what I get for trying to force humor into it
>>
>>25701703
I used to hate doing so but now I cope by saying

>Hi I'm anon and I'm a degenerate.

Something along those lines, I can't remember the last time I did one. I'm a NEET now anyway so I don't have to deal with it :D
>>
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I just had to do this last night in my programming class.

>tfw a few of my classmates mentioned they love playing video games, watching anime, and reading manga
>tfw one of them was even a (pretty) cute girl

Okay fellow robots which of you are in my fucking programming class I need to know now. Also to the girl I think you're cute and I want to cum all over your hair.
>>
>>25708186
yeah that tends to fail when you don't have a sense of humor
>>
>>25708219
That's so close to the guy who says "Hi, I'm anon and I'm an alcoholic."
>>
>>25708008
your the one that doesnt belong here, this is a normal person board and always has been
>>
>>25708229
>Also to the girl I think you're cute and I want to cum all over your hair.
what a pussy destroyer. She will definitely fall for you anon. You got dis.
>>
>>25708229
you can say you like running and sonic the hedgehog
>>
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>>25701703
lol when people try to get people out of r9k for being too normal. everyone here is autistic in their own way, anon. let them have an outlet too

>tfw when your voice cracks when introducing yourself in class
>>
>>25708233
I never heard anyone say that in one of those intros besides in those special groups.

I don't really know why I say this. I guess im just edgy
>>
>be one of the last to go
>planning what I'll say word for word the whole time
>get perfect idea
>my turn and what I say is nothing like what I planned
>>
>>25708252
kek'd so hard, idk why
>>
>>25708344
burp and go dooooooooh with descending tone and deeper voice
>>
Anon what if I reached maximum zen by refusing to give a shit about saying "I'm Noah, my only hobby is that I play video games."
>>
>>25708344
THIS
I rehearse things in my head and then the actual event happens and my mind is blank. the moment I stop speaking and everyone moves I immediately remember everything I was too nervous to recall and it's infuriating
>>
"my... my name is anon... I like music... and video games... and hanging out with my friends...and yeah..."
>>
>>25701703
Assertion does not make one not an autist. Cuck.
>inb4 failed normie
if you desire sex, love, pleasure, wealth, fame, if you desire any vice, then you, my friend, are the failed normie.
>>
>>25708409
jesus christ anon why you gotta be so autistic about it.

"Fake it till you make it"

Just act normal about it for a few seconds and you won't attract attention for the rest of the semester.
>>
>>25708428
>desiring vice makes you a failed normie
>only a monastic life devoid of pleasure is honorable

why are there so many narcs and prudes on this board? can't a robot smoke a joint to relieve stress? apparently not
>>
This thread is good bait to get this many replies. Sage.

Quick lesson for the anons here who are taking the term "normie" seriously:
You are NO different from "normies" because you need to find a band of social misfits like yourself to belong to. You need your secret little club and social approval here (it just happens to come in the form of these kind of threads, or "WHO IS MOST SPAGETERIS!XDDD)

The reason this board was, key word was, and 4chan as a whole was, OK is because shitposting mixed with semi-serious threads makes for an OK board. Semi-serious threads - sarcastic shitposting covering 9/10 pages = Better board.

Shitposting + People who think OP is "right" = the very thing you hate, Reddit in the guise of a four leaf homosexual clover.

TLDR Fuck off normie.
>>
>>25701903
>didn't care what people thought

This.
It's the key.
If you feel nervous, you are still hoping to lead a normalscum lifestyle.
True robots don't have feelings anymore. They're lifeless husks, a pitiful excuse of a living being.
>>
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>>25708543
>caring this much about a Lebanese Finger-painting forum
Thread replies: 81
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