The dementors are attacking r9k. Cast a patronas and fight them

>>25692970
The idea of them coming and sucking my soul out -- of the blissful non-existence.

>>25692986
Actually they suck your soul into themselves causing you to suffer for all eternity with no escape inside a dementor. Also weak memories will not work.

>>25692970
I honistly stopped caring about HP years before that point so I don't know what any of that shit is.

But whatever, this is America so I would just shoot them or something and call it a day.

>>25693034
>I don't read lol.

congratulations.

>>25692970
The one where I fucked your mum xDD

>>25693052
>slept with a woman.
>on r9k in the wee hours of a tuesday morning.
pick one.

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>>25692970
I think of that one time when a girl accidentally fell into my lap in a bus due to driver's maneuvers.

I kissed a girl when I was 11 years old.
It was a different time and I was a different person.

But I think about that memory and my patronas animal is probably a small rodent of some kind.

>>25692970
Honestly can't think of one. Any happy ones I used to have just make me sad and nostalgic now. Guess I'm gonna have to make out with a dementor.

>>25693236
>tfw not kissless anymore
can dementors give blowjobs? If so, I'm down. That derr suction.

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>>25692970
>What happy memory do you think of in order to save yourself?
Well. Shit. :(

>>25693279
Yeah you just put peanut butter on your dick remember

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>mfw trying to think of happy memories to fight dementors with

First time I smoked weed. Fucking every dementor dead

>>25693344
loli emma was best emma

>>25692970
I recall that warm spring where I helped wash the yeast buildup from my mum's folds of flesh, since she is bedbound morbidly obese. That fateful day my fingers accidentally slipped a bit into her vagina, but I couldn't tell heads or tails of it because she was so fat. I just saw her eyes roll back a bit as she let out a stifled moan, then she informed me of what I'd done. Nothing came of it, it the memory fuels 70%+ of my wank sessions.

>tfw no dementor gf
>tfw no good picture to go with that feel

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This would have been a happy memory if the fucking hat would work with you.

>>25693051
He literally said he's American what did you expect?

I cast an eternal stupefy on myself effectively putting me into a coma.

>>25693448
I fucking miss loli emma so much

> 16 years old
> At Stuttgart airport, sitting in terminal waiting for plane
> Qt3.14 german grill sitting across from me
> She smiles at me
> Sexual undertones from smile
> Walks across, sits next to me
> For the next 15 mins until the train arrives we just sit there and look at each other every now and then

this is literally my best memory.

>>25694025
pffft Hufflepuffs sound like nice people.

Gryffindors = fucking Chadbros
Slytherins = mean, cruel, Chads
Ravenclaw = elitist nerds who would mock you
Hufflepuff = chill, nice, friendly cool guys.

Tip my fedora at them for believing the soul exists before slicing them in half with my katana.

>>25694720
This T B H

By supporting the 'hufflepuff is bad' meme you are deprecating yourself and all your betabros, and it is objectively the house you would be the most comfortable in

>>25694720
so basically

gryffindor = normies
slytherin = chads
ravenclaw = autists
hufflepuff = robots

>think of the time I deflowered a qt Asian girl
>a bear with a cat impaled on its dick springs forth from my wand

>>25692970
That one time when an anon didn't call me a faggot

>>25694753
I think robots could fit in a lot of the houses. Robot autists in ravenclaw. Sociopath robots in slytherin. The kind of socially anxious kv yet still attractive or sports playing robot in gryffindor.

hufflepuff may have the total loser robots, but it will also have the few chill and friendly normies too. the kind will talk to you and be nice even though you are a loser.

>>25692970

yeah we're all dead dude

>>25694720
God your such a weenie. Grow some balls.

>>25694794
>a weenie
come on, you can do better than that

according to the official website I'm a Gryffindor so suck it

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>have no happy memory
>kill fellow robot to split soul and create a horcrux

>>25694572

I have a more interesting story, also at 15-16.
once a girl somehow really fell for me, and during the 20 minutes we waited at the bus stop, she literally forced me into kissing her and grabbing her butt.

She gave me her number and I never called.

I remained a virgin for 4-5 years since that day, only to lose my virginity to a hooker.

I'm not sure I did the right thing.

>>25694835
>kill fellow robot
Literally why would you kill a robot instead of a normalfag

>>25694861
>The dementors are attacking r9k
>normies on /r9k/

>>25694872
>thinks there aren't normies on r9k
Are you blind

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My best memory would probably be hanging out with my last set of real friends in early high school and discussing warhammer 40k.

My spirit animal would probably be some black guy sitting around drunk on a street corner with a 40 in his hand that he would break over the dementor's head

Not even edgy but I'm having difficulty thinking of a memory

>>25694781
Shut up fucking faggot faggot-desu

I guess some memory from my early childhood before I knew I would never have a job, girlfriend or friends.

>>25693007
And the people who hire them call themselves good guys?

When I masturbate after holding it for five days. Yes, that's my maximum.