who else /diseased/ and /depressed/ here?
>degenerative nervous system auto-immune disease (multiple sclerosis)
>constant needle-stabbing pain in my hands and fingers since mid July
>nerve and painkillers don't get rid of the pain and tolerance is growing
>can't weight lift like i used to because hands
>can't go for walks for exercise because use a cane and it hurts to walk
>have 13 prescriptions, take 23 pills a day
>abnormally color blind
>205 lbs 5'6" ginger, super pale manlet
>therapist recommended I check myself in to a mental institution
>trying to apply for disability but have already waited more than a year and been denied twice (judge hearing is next step)
>live in a shit state in the South, so no MMJ
>25 and spend most time on 4chan and watching horror films
>extreme fatigue and drowsiness due to medication and/or MS
>want to die in sleep
>broke as fuck, depend on divorced parents to pay medical bills and utilities who are frustrated
>only child and a disappoint to my family
>live alone in a shitty old house that has constant problems
>can't turn on heat because propane gas is way too expensive, use small radiator heater in my room with door closed
>SSRIs decreased sex drive and only fap once a week now, and is difficult because pain in hands flare up from jackin it
>a 1/10 diabetic type 1 girl with no driver license wanted to hook up but found out she has fucking HERPES
>migraines and headaches
>attention span and memory retention is horrible, have to watch movie scenes because forget what I've watched
>want to an hero, but heard helium tanks have more oxygen now
>have shit Associate's Degree that got me nowhere, school too expensive for bachelor's
>want to die in sleep
My only pleasure is collecting Pepes. I have over 2500 UNIQUE Pepes. The only thing I'm happy about. Anyone else know shitty life feels?
What will happen is eventually you'll feel like the person you used to be has passed away. You'll mourn them.
But around the same time the pain you endure every day will have become as close to "normal" as you can understand (having long lost any frame of reference for what it's like to feel healthy).
Around that time things get a little bit better. A little bit. You start realizing you aren't going to die anytime soon. Boredom and increasing resentment towards others become the main problems in your life.
Drop the SSRIs if you can.
>>live alone in a shitty old house that has constant problems
Also you should be grateful you at least have this. Most people like us have to live with their parents.
I'm grateful I can still drive myself. I know a lot of guys who desperately wish they could at least still have that independence.
If you're afraid you have MS or get any symptoms, go to a doctor immediately and get an MRI scan. It will show any inflammation and/or lesions on your brain. I waited too long and it fucked me up with my vision pretty bad.
>boils pop up in random places and have to drain them of blood
>very contagious can't be near anyone
>spend all my time finding and draining these things
>filled 5 garbage bags full of bloody toilet paper
>none of the meds work
>4 pills a day
>keeps getting worse colonizing different parts of my body
>starting to go for my eyes which could blind me
>want to kill myself so bad
I wish I had multiple sclerosis so the decision to kill myself would be more obvious. I'm probably not going to die from this just tortured for eternity. Cancer patients are so lucky they get to die naturally.
Yeah, that sounds like it sucks pretty bad. I have one of the invisible diseases. I will live a normal lifespan but eventually be a cripple within a decade probably.
Independence and privacy you say. My mom randomly bursts in because she has a key and won't let me change door knobs. Too much dependence to argue. The oven is broken, heat runs on propane that I can't afford. The internet is all I have.
I'm not able to judge how I'd behave when sick with MS, so I don't want to try to "help" you. But, have you tried to type out your life? It might be hard since you have pains in hands, so this might be retarded. It's just something that helps me. Writing. Either fiction or musings about things that are on my mind.
Either way, hit up that herpes girl. What's the worst that could happen? You'll get Herpes, get a pill more or some creme to splatter all over your dick.
Not sure if a disease, but
>go into surgery for torn discoid meniscus
> nurse cant find Vein for IV
> have about 5 stab scars or both hands, and two on forearms
>Go into surgery
>Wake up in recovery room
>I apparently had severe panic attack once I woke up, and almost ruined my graft
> count pee or shit due to anesthetics
>rushed to ER to have catheter put in
>Male nurse who did it fucked up, and kept trying to jam it inc
>constant urge to pee for the entire week its in
>bloody drainage from surgery site, and catheter site
>When its finally removed I peed blood, and passed blood clots for a week
>still have small traces of blood, and sharp bladder pain
So my dick is ruined for life, and I can never have surgery