>tfw I can't even imagine any different reality that would satisfy me
No matter how much money I would have, how much sex I would have, how much drugs I would take, or what fantastic adventures I would have, I can't imagine myself satisfied in any possible or fantastic reality.
Would you care to elaborate? Are you saying that you have no idea what you want from life or that you think life is too meaningless to care about such trivial things like pursuing entertainment?
I know there is nothing I'd want from life. Like I have zero drive to archive anything. I don't care about triviality, I'd just like to genuinely care about anything, I just don't.
I see. Personally I also have a strong lack of motivation, but not to the extent you're describing. I'd definitely be at least content with enough money, for example.
I'm no psychologist so I don't know how do define what you're going through, in what way to fix it, or even really where to start. Is it possible you have depression? Maybe a lifestyle/diet/substance habit that's stifling your mind? Has anything ever alleviated these feelings in the past? Have you always felt like this?
I don't really have any follow ups to these questions but maybe it could be a place to start.
Probably medial oversaturation. I've seen everything and everything bores me.
I want to fix my problem, not change myself to become a person that doesn't have that problem. I'm not depressed.
I like anime but that's just procrastination. I want more than just watching anime. Don't care about the rest.
do you have a hobby or daily, productive ritual, like running a mile or doing a series of workouts
you should try writing or drawing or making youtube poops, doesn't matter what you do, but being on shit like 4chan is the problem
I'm not. It's just that I've read books and watched movies that have more action/drama/meaning/sex than anything I could even imagine.
I draw, I read, I produce music, I go boxing... My life isn't bad, it just feels like I do the same stuff thousands of others do and I only do them to pass the time untill I die. It doesn't do anything for me, I just have no idea what to do instead.
Not trying to be rude but that sounds really boring. I don't think there is anything that would satisfy me.
don't knock it till you've tried it, if you need a purpose then let your brain's chemicals give you one, hypothetically you would be very protective of your kids, they can give you purpose
I think I may expressed myself wrong. English isn't my first language. I don't want happieness. I want something that I myself can't imagine, something new, something that probably doesn't exist. I can't imagine something more boring than happieness.
Having a kid isn't happy. It's miserable. It's just the right miserable to make an insufferable asshole like you feel again. If you have it in you not to just beat a newborn to death, you can do lots of things
I'm way too selfish to get kids. I only make enough money to support myself. And I'm not intereste in getting a gf.
still boring to be honest
yeah it's "boring" because you're asking for an experience you can't imagine
...well maybe you could smoke tons of DMT or something, but still
Once you're actually in the fray, this whole "boring" ennui of yours will evaporate, I know it.
There is no escape for me. I think I have thought myself into a corner.
That might be true, but I just don't want to find some cheap substitute. I'd rather live in misery than ignoring my problems.
>undiscriminating slaughter here
You're probably just lying to yourself at this point, or you're distracted and it's actually another problem, like some kind of depression or soemthing
>There is no escape for me. I think I have thought myself into a corner.
So you've gotten to the level where only wresting with the ineffable grip of death intrigues you, have you?
What's interesting about killing? It's just work. I honestly don't get it.
There is no wrestling, it's just waiting. I want to do something with my remaining time, there just isn't anything I can think of.
>it's just waiting
The waiting will feel short when you get there.
But i'm asking you about that call to the void. You explained to me about a great big hole through you were want should be in a person.
As if you decide if a button were to be pushed and give you all that you ever wanted, even things you didn't know you wanted, you would still feel, KNOW it wasn't enough.
As if your mind was an advanced computer with it's factory setting on a cloud storage reset.
Is death and it's properties the only thing left to make you curious at this point? Not the road to it along the way, or the way you go.
But to try and challenge the fact that you may cease to exist, or accept it entirely, so you needn't ever worry about your absolute lack of want while living.
I think the only way to achieve satisfaction at this point is doing something bizarre. Something way out of the ordinary, unthinkable by normal standard, the kind of shit that makes you wonder "is this still reality?". I can't think of any examples right now, maybe something like killing your own mother in front of your little brother and then fucking her corpse, but that sounds a little too edgy.
I just can't come up with anything I would want. I don't know if there is something. Even if I had everything, I still would have no idea what to do with my life.
Death doesn't really make me curious either, it's just something that's going to happen. My literal dead line to do anything.
"The road" like you call it is all that concerns me, but there is nothing to do for me.
You are on the right track, but doing something weird for the sake of weirdness just isn't enough.
i just dont really care
didnt ask to get born, dont really want much of anything. I dont want to live, but i dont want to upset anyone so i dont want to die. I just dont care, but Im kind of forced to care anyway.
Don't you also feel the need to do something about that?
The only thing I want in life is to not be in pain or suffering, or inflict the same on others. Which is why I'm motivated to at least have a roof over my head, coffee in the morning and a warm bed to sleep in. If I had the choice not to care, I wouldn't, but I have to because that's what being a human is i guess.