This is Beta one. We're all set and awaiting orders.
I TOLD YOU I ALREADY ORDERED A PLATE OF TENDIES, WHERE ARE THEY? REEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
SIR, WE'RE ON OUR WAY WITH THE PROVISIONS, SIR!
Navy Feels unit reporting in. The area is swarming with normies
NEET squad, target in range.
ROASTIES INCOMING! THERES TOO MANY OF THEM! ARRRRRGHHHHHH!!!!
THE FEEL. THE FEEEEEEEEEL *boom*
NEET squad Bravo here, 2 clicks away, what do you advise?
This is Omega command, we've got new orders for you Bravo Squad, divert your forces 1 click east to the ridge and set up an ambush to intercept enemy reinforcements.
Don't RRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE until you see the whites of their eyes, over.
THE OIL IS TOO COLD
I REPEAT THE OIL'S NOT HOT ENOUGH
THE TENDIES CAME OUT SOGGY
Copy that Omega, moving east. Will report when ambush site is secured.
REQUESTING SPICY BUFFALO TENDIE SAUCE AIRSTRIKE AT MY POSITION. NO I DONT CARE IF IM IN BLAST RANGE, JUST DO IT!
Neetlord reporting for duty. Uh oh, Mummy called I have to go clean my room.
Tadpole one to Omega Command. Priming mortars to knock out those satelittes. Over.
COME IN OMEGA, RIDGE SITE HAS BEEN OVERRUN, THEY MUST BE IN OUR COMMS
THEY KNEW ALL ALO-
Copy HQ. We should be the-- fucking hell, HQ, we have a situation. We have multiple Cyborgs approaching us, but they seem to be hiding something. We are not sure whether to engage. They are blocking our path to LZ. Over.
NEET bravo, come in NEET bravo, this is Omega Command, we have a new objective coming in from JSOC. Intelligence from SATCOM suggest one of our former agents has gone rogue and is embedded in the enemy platoon you will make contact with.
Codenamed UMARU, she is very dangerous but has a weakness, jumpu, gameu, and cola can be used to bait her in. We need her alive, Bravo.
THE FIRE RISES!
NEET bravo is down omega! >>25657233
what do we do?!
General Saad Maan is about to address all of Beta people in a televised speech.
Sir! New intel just came in from R9K Command it says the enemy commander is.... no it cant be...Its REDDIT
Is anybody there?!
This is wagecuck whiskey, the rest of my squad is gone, all too tired to go on. I hope you haven't forgotten about us. it's gettin real hot down here, and I gotta be up at 6 tomorrow...
Copy that, breaking out the heavy gear and on the move.
This is Tadpole One. It's an ambush. Get out of there now! I repeat. Danger close!
Sgt. Rippetoe, logistics, reporting in. Where should we drop off the oats and milk rations?
shit, robots, i cant play anymore my mums calling me for diunner gotta go bye bye! ;c
Come in Omega, we have multiple robots KIA after a rogue shell fired from your position touched down. We hope this wasn't in response to normie reports, as we believe they are entirely fabricated.
Tadpole One, Tadpole One, this is BETA-Six. Requesting immediate evac! QT spotted approaching our position. Repeat, QT spotted approaching our position. Our palms are sweaty! Over.
Sir, we can send the levies out to collect food for our heavily armored infantry, but then we will not have fodder for the normans physcological bombard!
>Not even Feel Plate Armor can protect us agaisnt the truth, Ser Jack of Woe
>mfw this is entirely how the beta uprising would go down
fuck up after fuck up with only a few normans dead
GAMMA HAS BEEN PINNED DOWN!
REQUESTING GUNNER SUPPORT IN POINT A ASAP.
This is Tadpole One. We are oscar mike to your position. Subdue the QT so we can bring it to Omega Command for questioning.
Delta Feel here, we're pinned down, need backup; enemy chads are swarming our base, need piss bottle strikes now!
heads up gamma, on my mark, dive.
DIVE NOW, ATTEMPTING SCATTERSHOT
JAMAL AND STACEY ABSENT FROM CITY Q. FOUND THEIR DAUGHTER INSTEAD. REQUESTING ORDERS.
Delta Feel this is Lilypad Nine. Piss bottle strike incoming, danger close.
This is Spetzfeels. Wagecukerevo seems to be occupied with multiple--black normies... They...they are t-torturing 3.14 QTs with BBC... W-What do we do, HQ? Shall we engage? It will probably turn this mission into a suicide, but...
>tfw no 3.14qt gf
K-kv squad beta t-two he-*KCCCHHJT*
I think we got a qt grill s-scrambl-*KSSHHHT* -r radars!
*KKCSHT* -ere's spaghetti everywhere a-and we've only got 7 n-nugs left!
I-im scared desu
This is Hijak company. Preparing our urban assault. Are we still ok to go? A lotta' civies here, but it's all in the name of the uprising.
Waiting on your mark.
This is Special Frog 7,my whole squad is dead and I need reinforcements!
Bring a mop, Tadpole One. Situation here is FUBAR. Spaghetti everywhere! QT has left the hot zone. Over.
Enemy neutralized, repeat, enemy neutralized. Gamma is to join Beta squad at once, support the assault on the 25th Street Club, City A.
This is NEETBUX HQ. Hijak, you are clear to start the attack; we need to earn some time for Delta Feel and Gamma. Remember; you are not officially considered to be on Robot side, so attacking Cyborgs won't be considered warcrimes. Godspeed, Hijak. Over.
This is Over-watch Caesar, you are a affirmed for attack Hijak company. Fire away.
This is Subway Sandwich, over. The lines are too long, the normies must be on lunch break. How the fuck are we going to feed our troops? This line is really long! The $5.00 foot longs are also actually $7.00 now! Fucking NORMIES.
WE're fucked. WE're absolutely fucked. We can't fight without our subway. I'm going home to tend to my Tendies. My mommy will keep me safe until the war is over.
alright guys, time for glory
this will most likely be the last you hear of us
Tomoko weeb Alpha squad reporting for duty! Your orders, sir!
be careful, copious amounts of normal scum around here, mostly unnarmed but once again, on your toes
morale is strong and the drafting is at double.
ALL SECTORS REPORT
FUCKING NORMIE GET OFF OUR BOARD
this is wagecuck whiskey >>25657503
too tired to head on
you guys have gotta finish the fight...
over and out
no no no
we're losing grip on the west with beta two and whiskey. can anybody head that way and get our men out of there?
flamers primed and flowing seven.
do we have a report from Omega on our next move?
This is NEETBUX HQ. We might not be able to support you unless new divisions arrive at Memetorivya outpost. Either retreat to the outpost, or wait for a miracle. However, we can offer you some mortar fire. Godspeed. Over.
I'm the only one left in squad, sir! The Stacies killed them all!
This is group Kilo reporting in
My fellow /k/ommandos and I have grabbed SKS and gone innawoods, awaiting orders now
save your shells, we don't want anymore incidents like >>25657869
retreating as you suggest, ETA 10 minutes
I haven't been getting any responses from our western front. I fear the worse has happened.
air support inbound guardian
prepare for strafe runs
it's for the best.
heading back to Memetorivya.
expect us NEETBUX HQ
Fire team alpha here
Hypothetically what would happen if one of our artillery shells were to have hit Tyson's tendie processing plants
pepe squad reporting
you don't want to know, alpha. you best be fucking with us
MY FELLOW PEPES AND WOJAKS!
THE WAR IS RAGING ON BUT WE MUST PERSEVERE FOR WE HAVE THE UPPER HAND NOW.
LET US FINISH WHAT WE'VE STARTED AND DRIVE THE NORMIES OUT OF OUR LAND.
EVERYBODY REPORT IN
DON'T LET HIJAK, KV BETA, WHISKEY AND ALL THE OTHER LOST SOULS DIE IN VAIN
GIVE IT ALL YOU GOT
THOSE FUCKING NORMIES ARE GOING TO GET IT
Propaganda Department Reporting.
1264 wagecuck robots have been recruited. Requesting a re-supply of rare Pepe's, wagecuck comics, comfy posts and 6 tons of tendies at the 5th Re-education Barrack Department. The 13th former Wagecuck brigade will be formed by the end of the week and deployed at Bravo.
got your back
give it hell, this is the final push, everybody group up on account of >>25658768
T-This is Spetzfeels coming in. I believe that those 3.14QTs were part of Femanon division that we lost months ago... but they refuse to cooperate with us. They-they acted like they were c-converted to that normie nonsense... W-we h-had to eliminate them... We are already getting surrounded by blacks... No sight of /b/tards... Over.
Rojer that. Solid wojack here, hq what normie site should I have eyes on next?
GOLDEN FROG HERE
THEY RELEASED THE CHAD
THE CREATINE IS IN THE WATER DEAR GOD HELP US
neet sigma reporting in
squad all but eliminated, only two of us left
but we made it
we've taken the subway and saved the hostage sandwich artists
I don't know if we can help you, but know this, all divisions are approaching your sector in a final push. if we don't make it to you in time on account of /b/tards we will make them pay.
hold out for as long as you can, perhaps NEETBUX HQ has something up their sleeve.
over and out
RARE DIVISION REPORTING IN
GIVE ME THE COMMAND IF YOU WANT ME TO KEK THEIR SHIT UP SENPAI
sigma, you are good men.
make sure not to harm the artists to a large extent, it's obvious how useful they can be in the future.
over and out
THIS IS OVER WHEN I SAY ITS OVER SOLDIER
LEAVE THE THINKING TO THE PEPES YOU JUST GET YOUR ASS OUT THERE AND FIGHT
2D Association reports: "Chad down"
Proceed to assist the "no-gf" Guardian Squads attacking Normie-ville.
Im starting to think hiring the Russian conscripts wasn't the best idea we've had
This is Spetzfeels. We have prepared the building for any assault that they will throw at us. We are bringing every single fucker they have for what they have done to Femanons. We have a visual of /b/tards from higher floors, but they seem to be fighting each other. We are going down with these fuckers. Wish us best of luck. I doubt that we will return, but I am sure that they will pay the price.
Don't let them win this war. Spetzfeels, over.
go ahead, it will all be over soon
give em hell spetzfeels, you were one of our most appreciated divisions.
Real Niggers preparing for assault on your command sir, just hit that like button
HQ here, it turns out there's some high value targets in normie-ville
We're authorizing you the use of C.H.A.I.K.A. Just be sure to keep her on the front page.
Guess this is it, huh boys?
Did someone say fighter sweep? I heard someone say fighter sweep.
get ready. i love you all. im glad i could serve with great men like you.
LAUNCHING THE ROASTER AND TOASTER
SUPPORT IS ON THE WAY HANG IN THERE PRIVATE
Since your armies and board are our property, we decided to loan you some tech.
ALRIGHT LISTEN UP MAGGOTS
RARE JUST GAVE THEIR LIVES TO END THIS WAR
EVERYBODY WE NEED TO TEAM UP
this is for the end
Come in Omega Command. We are survivors of what's left of several squads. Rest killed by Chad army and normie scum. Request permission to launch insurgency behind their lines. Over.
Omega and Neetbux seem to have gone offline
we need to take this on ourselves, do what you think is best
kilo, why are you innawoods? there are no normies out there, you're at least 200 clicks away from any sort of settlement, WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?
Gondola squad reporting in,
Baaba s voozu, kobyle legche.
we were losing men fast anon. the BBC was on its way. what had to be done was done.
they will always be remembered. they were more than just another NEET off the street. my heart goes out to them, but i hope the bombing will end the war. we need men on the homefront, since the feminists might infiltrate us. we have more men to spare now
they will be remembered
Overlord, this is Betadesu 1. We ran into a ville occupied with Enemy Combatants 2 clicks off the main highway from the exfil point. We're out of Good boy points, down to our last tendies over. I have no hope for this situation. My men are dead, the tendies are soggy. BROKEN ARROW. I REFUCKINGPEAT BROKEN ARROW.
It's all we know sir! It's all we were trained to do!
We're mounting up and preparing to launch a vehicular attack now to make up for this, sir
gondola, you're on the fringes right now, if you could make contact with kilo >>25659473
and head on into the mainland with them you'd be doing us all a favour
Sir, one of our commanders went AOL and went into the ghettos of twitter instead of innawoods
Tell real nigga hours to keep their heads down!
betadesu, as far as we know the nearest GBP are back at NEETBUX HQ but they've been offline for some time. if you have any hope, make a break for it in that direction. uploading coords now
Here's a morale booster
FUCK THEIR SHIT UP GUYS
WE'VE HAD ENOUGH
NO MORE NO MORE NO MORE REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Reports coming in that our Supreme General gave his own life as he took 7 Stacies down with him. May his legacy never be forgotten.
copy kilo, stay on track and maybe you'll still make it.
real niggas if you're out there you heard the man.
on your toes
thanks for the support guys, the morale was needed
WE'RE ABOUT TO BREACH THE CLUB, CHECK YOUR GEAR AND WE'LL SOUND OFF
Never forget the fallen comrades
GOD DAMN IT, ALL THESE MEN AND FOR WHAT.
head up everyone, we have a stray report of some sort of an alpha chad. do we have any artillery or mortar sqauds left?!
2d PJ'S are on the way, hang in there!
Intel says there's a nightclub near your position.
Your orders are.
Infiltrate the nightclub
Get into the manager oficce and extract the safe box and other values that might help our organization, use the force if needed.
Plant the plastic explosive in the middle of the nightclub and detonate it.
Put the fake evidence about an ISIS terrorist attack scattered around.
Leave the mission area before the police arrives.
Good hunt Beta one.
What? CHADS BACK!?! I didn't think it was true. I'm not sure I can take this can anymore guys.
from my screens I can't say for sure that there are any active squads near you, they're either holed up in subways and parking lots or dead in the streets.
your best bet is to try and find >>25657869
but that really is a long shot
Brothers, send me in.
Just do it, you will not regret it.
I have been preparing for this day since my birth, I knew that this would happen. This is my destiny.
Kilo squad is almost in range, guys!
The murder /k/ube will soon be fed with the blood of the Alpha Chad and will secure our c victory!
Ave nex alea!
only the one report, but men are taking it seriously, see >>25659751
fake or not it's a big problem if left unconfirmed, I'm pinning it's authenticity on you.
I agree with this anon.
Thank you comrade, it's time for me to grasp my destiny.
Future pepe here. I just received news about Future wojack..
I ready to get on the front lines... If you'll have me..
Will proceed and confirm reports HQ.
If we dont make it back tell my waifu I lover her.
Over and out.
this is command, I've been ordering you for the past two hours since NEETBUCKS and Omega have disappeared.
I have one last trick in the bag, we're losing too many men, far too many to worry about certain sqauds at this point. In ten posts I'm doing it. I'm dropping the big one. Get out of there while you can. This is it, this is the end.
GET OUT OF THERE NOW, GO GO GO.
Moshi moshi, this is Betadesu 2 from the Rising Ree division.
I have arrived in HQ and am in sniping position. Requesting assistance to take on Alpha Chad and the rest of his normie platoon.
NO! LEAVE >>25659901
IS GOING TO DROP IT!
if anyone needs some last minute supplies im here
That's danger close, HQ! There's no way we'll be able to pull out in time!
JESUS CHRIST PEPE SQUAD THREE HAS BEEN HIT. WOJACK 12 MEDIC SQUAD IS ON THEM BUT BY GOD THERE'S SO MUCH BLOOD!
rare division here. i have 200 men. will it be enough?
also morale booster
ALL UNITS ALL UNITS THIS IS JUSTDEWIT WE HAVE ABSOLUTE CONFIRMATION OF ALPHA CHAD.
I REPEAT WE HAVE ABSOLUTE CONFIRMATION OF ALPHA CHADS EXSISTENCE. REQUESTING ALL SQUADS TO CONVERGE ON OUR IMMEDIATE POSITION.
Not after what I've done...
This ones for you wojack...
Kilo Squad here!
We have no choice but to get to the bunker at tinder HQ
This is suicide but we're dead either way
I suggest every unit in the area gather on us, we can get past the Chad if we all fight!
I sure hope you guys have made peace.
because ready or not...
Ignore them and look at for your feet until you find a way out. We have more important matters at hand robot!
It was a pleasure.
Men, nay, Frogs.
Fight until the last breath, may your shadows be etched forever as a reminder of the valiant effort that we brought forth on this day.
2-D, reporting for the last time
Only two of us made it past the Chad to the bunker
He gave his life to close the hatches
I am now what I believe to be the last remaining soldier in normieville, let alone living thing
Everything is fire....
I think i've got Alpha Chad in my sights wait what is th--
this is NEET beta
there's fire everywhere. is there anyone out the-
>tfw I spent 3 hours of my night into early morning roleplaying an edgy soldier in the beta uprising
Medifeels are on site, evacuating wounded soldiers
but it was worth it for pepe has been immortalized and shall live on forever
Positions have been breached, I repeat, positions are breached.
Gentlemen, prepare to defend yourselves
copy, sifting through fallout to help the fallen
Wew, it got hot in there for a second
Ay where'd all the virgins go?
it goes to show that no matter how hard a robot fights, society will do it's best to keep him down.
try not to feel too much right now. it could hurt more after seeing all of those dead soldiers
THIS IS SKYKING, WE HAVE INCOMING BOGIES TO THE EAST, REPEAT EAST
So many fallen comrades, and all i can do is watch
it doesn't matter skyking. command tried the bomb. we thought it worked, we thought there were only stragglers.
the thing is,
we are the stragglers.
see you in robot heaven.
A pissbottle shipment was supposed to come into this FOB 2 days ago. Was another supply line ambushed?
We've been spotting scouts on the hills for the last few hours, I don't know when the next raid is, but we won't be able to make it without adequate supplies.
Roger that this is Beta 59 from the Supply Squad, we're coming in with a drop shipment right now, E.T.A. 5 minutes. Sorry for the delay, supplies have been running low all across the legion and HQ has gone completely dark on us for some reason. Over.
Report: nuclear power plant that supplies power to Normie City has been infiltrated. Reactors ready to blow upon receiving the order...