Depression is a beautifully terrible thing. Once it chooses it's victim it moves it's horrible plan into motion. It infects the target and slowly, irreversibly, poisons every aspect of it's existence, transcending time to ensure that even once sacred memories are not safe.
Of course you can fight. At times it may even seem as if you are winning, conquering your faceless foe and reclaiming the life you once dearly loved. Eventually your defenses, no matter how resolute, will crumble underneath the indefatigable foe that is laying constant siege to your mind. It will raze the delusions of a good and happy life, a loving relationship, and a normal existence to the ground, salting the earth of your psyche ensuring that nothing positive will ever be allowed to thrive. As this ubiquitous darkness engulfs the kingdom of your mind the only light that will remain is the inevitable death and it's release we all face in the end. Until then though you will walk through life a shell of a man, not filled with anger or sorrow or pain, but hollow and devoid of all emotions, desires and dreams. The only enjoyable part of the day is the oblivion of sleep and each morning when you wake into a nightmare that you can't escape you'll whisper under your breath to the lonliness that is your only company to mercifully bring an end to your tortured existence and lift the burden of life from your weary shoulders.
In the end even death becomes too troublesome. Perhaps there are still a few people who through naivete or some other circumstance still inexplicably care about you when you can no longer even care about yourself. Perhaps the means through which to pursue your release are too complicated and expensive. Maybe this all conquering assailant has stripped you even of the power to achieve mutually assured destruction in it's sadistic ploy to completely destroy you. Whatever it may you eventually you don't even wish for death, rather you merely wish to disappear completely
we love you please dont kill usDADDY no not the belt , but SEE WHEN THE LIGHTDOES NOT SHINE..... you cannot go back. yes , as god has wiled it we are damned to this place. but , you see that therre is not anny no escape to here.
they won. they won. they destroyed our lives and banished us from society' because THEHY think that it is funy./ but GOD will damn them just the same like us, because noboy can escape form here/ at al]'
do you see now why the
WHY they hate us/ because we are gods favorite!!!!!!!!!!!! it is simple it is easy to see!!!!!!! they are the children of SATAN , corrupted becuase gods light does not shine upon them! they only exist to destroy.. we are the last bane ovf light in thsi world, that GOD has forsakenm,.
/ i just hope jesus will come back and save us.........
>Of course you can fight. At times it may even seem as if you are winning, conquering your faceless foe and reclaiming the life you once dearly loved. Eventually your defenses, no matter how resolute, will crumble underneath the indefatigable foe that is laying constant siege to your mind.
I've been here. I spent a year trying to get better, and I mean really trying. I weighed less than I ever had in years, people were complimenting me, I was actually sleeping well, and then it all came tumbling down. That was 2 years ago, and I'm worse than I was before. Before, I could find the will to clean my apartment, at least a little, but now I can't even do that. I have several trash bags that at moderately full from when I tried, but that was as far as I made it.
You're right about death. I just want to vanish.
pornographic material is a sin, you do not need you must forsake it in you live. go t it???]'
yuio need to foasake all the sin in your entire life and fight bac kagainst t.his evil, for CHRIST our lord, ,BUT YOU MUST REPETN or be gon4e and lost forever
BUT DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND? GOD MAKED YOU THIS WAY, BECAUE YOU fell off the pathh of th RIGHTOEUSNESS , YOU HAVE TO REPENT. you cant be saved alone!!!!!!!!!!
It is you who doesn't understand. God made us this way not to punish us, but rather so we may carry the burden of this crushing emptiness so others don't have to. Nothing can exist within itself, as such joy needs sorrow with which to frame it. We, the silent guardians of the happy, carry this burden because we must. We live and die performing our thankless task as those who we save from this fate worse than hell ignorantly stumble through the easy existence we make possible.
Daily reminder that there is no God, and depression is just ole Darwin telling you to kill yourself to ensure brighter gene pools in the future.