>>25651589 My mom has started confronting me about my drug use. Getting sober and continuing to use drugs both don't seem like positive outcomes. I just want to kill myself, but I'm too much of a coward to hurt the people who care about me. There's nowhere to run to now.
Yes, to a point. Wouldn't say it's cured, but I can leave the house and talk to people without panicking. Cultivating a sense of superiority, making myself believe that I am god and entitled to have everything I want/capable of getting it for myself is how I got myself leaving the house. The depression I managed by not trying so damn hard to be happy all the time and looking for the reasons I had to be sad and working on changing them to the best of my ability. That and having a few off-days where I went someplace and behaved atrociously on purpose to counteract the timidity I'd developed around people--to be disliked by people and pretty much say "tough shit, you don't have to like me." And see that I would not cease to exist if everyone thought I was an asshole. The world would not explode. Life would go on. YMMV of course but that's my method
Not cured, but mitigated. I find the more I withdraw from life the worse my anxiety and depression gets. Believe it or not being forced by my parents to get a job and go to school seriously reduced my anxiety. It's still there, but I'm in a much better spot than I was two years ago.
>>25651568 It wasn't exactly cured since it came back years later, but around the time that I was 18-19 I adopted a whole punk rock/metal/goth persona and got way into it. pic related.
The year before that I was just shy kid with no real interests or hobbies besides comic books and video games, but with metal/punk I was suddenly someone who belonged somewhere.
That whole "be yourself" meme? The worst. Don't be yourself, change yourself, fake it until you make it. I managed to actually steal someone's 9/10 girlfriend, dated her for a while, she later broke up with me because she found out that I was actually pretty boring and had no friends and then found another girl not even a few months later who was a virgin and had sex with me for the first time. To this day that remains the most alpha things I ever did. Also I only smoked weed and did shrooms once, all in the same night.
Eventually I broke up with that girl (I felt like it was best for her desu), went back to college where everyone was a bit younger, and found myself out of the "scene". That's when the anxiety came back. I was bringing alcohol to class in gatorade bottles. Slowly I got back into the scene, got another girl, got over the anxiety (also started smoking weed around that time) and repeated that cycle again.
Now I'm 30 and threw out most of my goth/punk clothes & stopped doing my hair and make-up in that style, and would probably feel weird if I did, and I haven't been with a girl since 2010.
Maybe I need a new "self" besides the punk/metal thing.
>>25651884 >That and having a few off-days where I went someplace and behaved atrociously on purpose to counteract the timidity I'd developed around people--to be disliked by people and pretty much say "tough shit, you don't have to like me." And see that I would not cease to exist if everyone thought I was an asshole. I really need to do something like this because right now I have a completely irresistable need to be liked by everyone. It's so bad I can't express opinions or give anything other than bland agreement on anything because I'm worried someone might disagree or take it the wrong way. Ironically this probably makes me a boring person nobody likes.
I kind of think that people who say they did never had it in the first place. People tell me "you just have to go outside and then it gets better lol, pull yourself up by your bootstraps".
Then if I tell them I panic when there's a phone call or a knock at the door, and I'd probably rather starve than go buy food, and I'd probably rather die than get help, the response is like "WHAT THE HELL, PUSSY?" and it occurs to me that nobody really actually knows what having an anxiety disorder is like.
I think tonight I'm just going to down this bottle of schnapps and then hang myself.
>>25651568 I had social anxiety to the point I would have a panic attack whenever I went outside. Like nobody had to even be around just going outside was horrible. The reason for that was because I hated my body because I was grossly obese. I started exercising everyday for an hour and ate way healthier and lost about 35kg in 4-5 months. I then started going for short trips around where I lived. Gradually increasing where and how long I went until I could just seem casual around others. You have to basically think about potential situations that could arise and think of solutions to them. It's all about taking small steps at a time. Although if something unexpected happens I can still panic inside.
>>25652850 the main reason I have social anxiety is because I used to not give a fuck and everybody fucking hated me. Then I started pretending to be normal and got friends. Was also teased a lot as a kid for being poor and have a massive inferiority complex.
>>25651568 Get really drunk to the point you find yourself doing weird shit, then go out to a bar and force yourself to sit there and order drinks, even if no one speaks to you the entire night you where out there.
>>25653163 drinking 100% cures my anxiety. anything I do while drunk has no affect on my sober life. In fact the only reason I still have some friends is because I'm virtually a normie while drunk. yet while sober the smallest things trigger panic attacks
Drugs help but, having a strict schedule, excerise, and behavioral cognitive therapy will cure you. Drugs will probably never cure you complete. The will change your brain chemistry but, you will become reliant on them if you don't change your cognitive behavior and environment.
did the drugs make anyone else here an asshole and crazier?
the actual feeling of sadness has gone away somewhat, but it's been replaced by a persistent cloud of pointlessness (worse than before) and more impulsive thoughts/decisions (i now jaywalk for example, i don't want to die but the risk i might feels less real and i'm less fussed about living.)
Same. I don't agree with that anon about purposely acting like an asshole; it's better to just take a stand on something you actually do care about, preparing yourself beforehand so you don't chickenshit out at the first sign of conflict. That way you come across as confident and passionate, not as a jaded dickhead.
I've done some cognitive behavioral therapy and at the very least it's helped me recognize (a) that I have social anxiety and (b) the ways it manifests itself in my life. e.g. when friends invite me out and I don't want to go, but simultaneously feel bad for not going. It's helped me to prepare myself for anxiety-inducing situations and reduce my rationalizations for avoiding society, as well as my guilt when I do indulge myself in a multi-day binge of refusing human contact.
>>25653147 >tfw its genuinely true but it doesnt work because its so simple and condescending to hear, so people reject it because if the answer were so simple it would make them feel like even greater colossal fuck ups than they currently are so they wallow in misery until suicide or wizardom
Working on it right now. After a long distance "relationship" i started gaining some selfesteem. Got a Girl to like me and leave her now Ex-BF. Now after my first real GF and after losing my v-card to the girl i snatched and then going through a sad breakup I convinced myself that i can do a lot better than all of those normies out there caus i got the jokes and the smarts and i am making the first move. The first move seems to be the most important because i seem more like a good partner to the girls. Also the girls from the kindergarten don't automatically talk to strangers.
>>25653396 >when friends invite me out and I don't want to go, but simultaneously feel bad for not going. Oh god I do that all the time. They invite me somewhere but I turn them down or brush them off with a "maybe" because I'm worried about going into some social situation, and instead I go home and feel miserable about not going out with them. It's good that you're managing it though.
>>25653341 Which drugs? If it's an SSRI, you may be bipolar. This happened to me when I took Zoloft and I turned out to have Bipolar II. The rage/risk-taking/agitation were symptoms of a "mixed episode" caused by the drugs.
>>25651568 >>25651589 >>25651620 >>25651568 Yes. I was a drug addict, on the verge of suicide until I found Jesus Christ, he loves your soul and wants you to be happy I finally after years got gf, a Christian devout just like myself. Why are you not a Christian?
>>25656462 I'd say the last 4 years, while in school. I was abused pretty badly as a kid, and I never really got help for it. I was smart, and good at school, so grade school was easy for me, and I managed to make great friends despite being a bit of a wreck. When I lost my support networks and old outlets after leaving for school, I fell apart. I'm slowly finding myself again. I'm starting therapy or online CBT in the next couple of weeks, I want to get healthy so I can pursue grad school seriously. I'm thinking the therapist route is probably better since I have depressive episodes as well, and CBT is mainly for anxiety, as far as I know.
>>25652645 That was me three years ago. "Bootstraps" is horse shit, but there is lots of mental-psychological heavy lifting required to manage without pills. It's probably easier with meds, but I couldn't because money and needing to keep my psych record clean.
You dont cure depression and anxiety, you embrace it, you just let it slide on you like a cold and heavy blanket, you just let it penetrate your soul and mind and you just accept the darkness and loneliness that will follow you through the rest of your miserable existence.
But one day you will be able to feel the embrace of the ultimate waifu, Death itself will carry you in her arms and you won't suffer anymore, she will be with you in the end.
I no longer give a shit what other people think to almost any level. Talking to people is easy when you know 99% of those you talk to don't know mental anguish like you do. It's a superiority thing, but I level it by also having a complex of being alienated. Too much baggage, how could anyone understand this? I'm a pariah, yet a beacon of existence.
This duality is what helps me on a daily basis OP. It never gets better, it only gets more isolated.
>>25656904 >>25656943 No, this is untrue. With Social Anxiety you can have the ability to comprehend what is and isn't appropriate in social cues and situations. You are able to acknowledge what type of behavior will get the desired results. The problem lies in the ability to executed said results do to a crippling fear that if you fail in the execution the consequences will be much larger than what they actually are.
Someone with NO social skills is completely inept at identifying what type of behavior is appropriate in a group context, and will often say things that make people uncomfortable without realizing it.
But you are both right in that they are essentially unfixable problems.
>>25656379 Because there is no empirical evidence of your God or your 2,000 year old book of contradictions. That's why. And before the >inb4 fedora comments, I own a fedora, and I proudly fucking wear it against Christfags.
>>25656676 >>25656968 >>25657029 >>25657182 These anons have the right idea. Exercise will literally make you feel like you're on drugs, because you basically are from the endorphin rush. I bike a river trail every day after work and lift on weekends, and it's made me significantly less fucked up mentally. I'm not cured by any means, but for the 1-2hours I'm out there, my body is too busy working for me to think about how fucking anxious I am all the time.
Worst case scenario is that you get in better shape and improve yourself as a person. You have nothing to lose by trying
>>25658261 hmmm, the paper referenced in the first link literally just states 'exercise' but it does mention 'the stress responses of numerous hormones (growth hormone, ACTH, prolactin, catecholamines and cortisol)'
I may be wrong, but I don't think cardio causes the same amount of growth hormone release as weight training does. In any case, the study was done on female athletes - professional athletes do a whole range of exercises and so should everyone, i think
>>25651568 >curing social anxiety maybe refocus the intention on working with what feelings present themselves one moment at a time, rather than curing an illness once and for all.
DESU MEDITATION IST FORSOOTH THE MOST POWERFUL TOOL AVAILABLE TO YOU ANON >>25651638 >""""""""""experimented"""""""""" vector in on meditation, anon. go deeper. if there's something like a zen buddhist temple near you, i'd recommend checking it out. if you're interested i can recommend lots of good reading material.
>>25651568 I was hospitalized for depression in December, although I knew inside myself that I could stop being depressed if I was determined to. Then, some weeks after I got out, I became tired of it. It was ruining my life. I told my parents that, immediately, I would stop being depressed. And things just clicked like that. Now I no longer have those vicious cycles of thought that led me into depression. Call it willpower, call it the realization that our time is limited when an immediate family member of mine died a week after I got out of the hospital. Ofc not everyone's experience will be the same, I am very fortunate that things turned out like this for me.
Also, I always rejected medication when I was in the hospital, even though my doctor frequently suggested that I take it. She said "think of it as a tool for your depression, like a pencil or a computer in school". It bothered me that she was so cavalier about a psychoactive drug. If you know your depression is circumstantial and not clinical, REJECT the medication. You will become psychologically dependent on it and it will worsen your depression.
>>25653256 heavy alcohol use causes anxiety when you're not drunk as your system gets used to a state of depression and compensates by over producing neurotransmitters, and also fucks up serotonin levels somehow, but I'm not a doctor nor do I feel like using google
I have legitimately got over my anxiety & depression. I was legitimately diagnosed with clinical depression and anxiety so bad I was on disability.
I am not taking any medication or therapy. People like me will die without anyone ever listening to our stories or believing us, I gave up on sharing advice because it takes effort which isn't what someone is willing to put in.
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