How well do you have to know a girl before you can poop in her

Toilets are made for pooping.

Unless you pooped on the floor or in your pants like a wizard.

>>25648234
I forgot to flush and then left and she hasn't texted me back since. Please help me I was so close to getting her to agree to a date.

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>>25648282
how does one forget to flush?

>>25648282
>I forgot to flush
Fucking barbarian. People like you deserve to be shot. How hard is it to hit a fucking lever? You should have done it a trillion times in your life so far, and it should be reflexive.

She rightfully thinks of you as an uncouth scum.

>>25648329
I didn't want her to hear the logs drop so I turned on the sink, then after I finished my business I wiped and stood up to wash my hands so I didn't waste more water. But then I left without flushing. Please could you just offer me some help? What do I text her?

please someone tell me what to text her to make her talk to me. I can't lose her again. I'm so close to making her love me.

>>25648204

Dated a girl for 6 months, spent every single weekend at her apartment and never shit once. It was absolute torture but I did it for love.

OP if you really forgot to flush, just cut contact to avoid the embarrassment, you fucked everything up.

legit shit post

>>25648440
No I cant. She's the only girl for me. She's literally perfect.

>>25648438
The best advice is I can give is to be yourself. No seriously. Act like nothing is wrong and keep acting like the guy you think she fell in love with.

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>>25648282
ohhhh man you fucked up jejkeklel

>>25648525
what do I text her though?

>>25648579
Hey babe did you find the present I left you?

>>25648385
ask her if she enjoyed your little present

>>25648579
i dont care but behave like nothing happened. dont bring it up u giant retard

>>25648579
What would you text her if you hadn't shit in her house?

I'm sure this thread is bait; absolutely hilarious though. Even more if it is true.

Thanks for the laugh, OP.

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Did I save the situation now?

>>25649021
This has to be bait

sdaf

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>>25649021
Jesus OP are you literally autistic?

>>25649087
It's not bait, I just don't want to mess things up. Maybe if she thinks I have short term memory loss she'll be more forgiving and text me back and by saying that I think the texts are messing up she won't have to feel guilty for ignoring me. It's all calculated.

>>25649021
wtf my chest is seizing up i cant take this

>>25649120
>>25649109
>>25649087
Wait, did I really mess up that bad? Should I not have said that?

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You mad man. Pooping in her house. Hahahahaha its over

>>25649021
Just end your autistic life already.

>>25648204
Pics of the mistake?

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>>25649021
I'm fucking dying here
Good luck fixing that mess

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>>25649021
Lmao dog...

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>>25649021
>mfw that text

Its over. She will now treat you like a literal and figurative shitlord.

>>25649021
alpha as h*ck

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Ok I think I fixed it. Thanks guys. Do I need to say anything else or what?

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>>25649021
OP you are FUCKED

>>25649021
How can you be so socially inept
And I thought I was awkward, holy shit OP

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>>25649021
End ur life, stupid.

>>25649114
>she won't have to feel guilty
>woman
>feel guilty
>about anything ever

Dude, you're fucked. She either likes you and wants to talk to you, or she doesn't. Women don't feel pity or guilt over betas. Her not responding immediately then she could be busy or she's already tossed you in the trash. You sending multiple texts just comes off as desperate.

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>>25649021
at the very sight of that wall of text, i begun to uncontrollably giggle and say "nah nah nah" over and over in a high voice

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>>25649237

This is killing me

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>>25649237
This can't be real
Even the robot can't believe it

>>25649021
>>25649237
Please be a troll please be a troll please be a troll

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>>25649237
I'm dying over here

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>>25649237
AND IT GOES

AND IT GOES

AND IT GOES

>>25649146
Of course not! She'll notice and then think you're a fucking retard, or she'll think it's funny, but that is not likely.

Can you fuckers PLEASE stop laughing at me and just tell me what I should say? Do I need anything after letting her know she shouldn't read the text?

>>25649237
LITERALLY WTF. Stop digging yourself a hole you shit head

>>25649237
>haha sorry my stupid friend took me phone and was texting all this weird stuff to all my contacts

>>25649370
i think you need to disappear

obvious troll

23123sf

>>25649402
Its still very funny though.

>>25649237

I hope this is a troll please be bait please be bait

>>25649370
IT'S TOO LATE IDIOT.
Don't say anything else until she responds then go from there

>>25649397
I should say that to her?

>>25649370
Ask her to meet you in a dark alley and murder her so you save yourself a shred of dignity

>>25649370
Say
"Lol sorry, I just don't know if I overstepped myself by using your bathroom before we got. You know. Closer" and then a blushing emoji

>tfw my boyfriened won't let me into the bathroom when he takes a poop.

He says thats his most private thing in the world to him. i leave the door open whenever i go to the bathroom, but he locks it.

i just wanna see my bf poop. ;c

>>25649435
DO IT DO IT DO IT

fjjh

>>25649432
Ok, I'll do this. I'll make a thread later if this one 404s and she responds. I might need your help on what to say to make this situation go away.

>>25649461

Holy fuck you're back?

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>>25649461
jesus christ i dont know what kind of washed up loser would date a raging drug addict and whore

>>25649237
YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO


WORLD STARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

>>25649021
Great man, ask her if you can use her bathroom again

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>>25649021
>Your bathroom sticks out due to how nice it is
Did you leave something to make it a little nicer?

>>25649512
The raging drug addict part would fit perfectly inti my lifestyle

>>25648385
next time you dump some paper in the toilet so your shit gets 'silenced' you are welcome. Also shit before you go on a date dingus

>>25649493
yes.

>>25649512
He does drugs too. he's not terribly different then me.

but he sees me for what i am inside, deep down. he sees that i am a lost person, a broken person, an angel whose wings have been chopped off.

its love m8.

im more then a drug user and 'whore'. I have a personality and other human things. i am more then my addiction. and he sees that and doesnt judge me.

>>25649461
HE LOCKS IT BECAUSE OF YOU.

>>25649592

Can you kill yourself please?

>>25649021
Witdessed dhis ebig thread :-DDD
God lug OP

Someone screen all this pls

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>>25649021
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>why

Why would you do that?

>>25649444
Trips for truth

blox blox original content

>>25649623
;c

i just wanna see him poop. i want to know what his poop smells like. i want to know what it looks like. i deserve to know.

though atleast he lets me see him pee. hes pees on me in the shower. so good. so much bonding though that.

>wrap my leg around him and start peeing on his leg and he pees on me.

good feels

>>25649237
No plz OP you're killing me holy shit plz stop. My sides are on another planet.

>>25649742
>being this big of an attention craven lust driven nigger

Kill yourself, fuck you and fuck your (You)s

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>>25649237
OP I am begging you, I can't take much more of this

did OP die from his autism?

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>>25649742
>so much bonding though that.

someone please screencap this thread

>>25649974
Do you want to post it on reddit senpai?

unless you're married you have to either find a gas station to shit at or wait till she's asleep. Although I have also said that I need to take a shower and then take a quick dump while the water warms up

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>>25650134
are you fucking for real?

are you people this anxious?

when i was fucking 16 years old i shat in my girlfriend's toilet and clogged it, it overflowed shitwater and leaked down to the first floor

stayed with her for like 6 months after that and nothing changed

>>25650302

I go absolutley livid if even a close friend of mine shits in my bathroom. It stinks and I only have one in the house. I have screamed "SHIT AT YOUR OWN HOME!" before to a friend of mine who stayed the night on the couch. I hate it so as a golden rule I don't subject others to it.

My sister once went with her boyfriend to visit his extended family. First day she got there she clogged the toilet kek. That accelerated the relationship pretty fast.

>>25650349
holy fuck that sounds really, genuinely, medically autistic

im sorry you're such a mad person

>>25650382

I'm autistic because I don't like the smell of shit? Ok pal

>>25650416
all you have to do is open the fucking window, even when you dont the smell dissipates quickly

thats just unnecessary. everybody poops

>>25648282
you fucked it senpai

>>25649742
I just got a boner after reading this.
Dafuq is wrong with me!

>>25650382
>there are people that can't manage their shitting while at home
>shitting in public stalls next to somebody equally irresponsible
>being so out of tune with your body that you have to shit on demand like a fucking barn animal

>>25650416
Not letting close friends shit in an appliance designed to be shit in? Especially if you have them stay the night? Yeah I'd say you're pretty autistic

>>25650500
>literally manipulating your innards for a stupid spook

you are a huge cuck

a man shits when he has to shit, only a prude beta has "rituals" for shitting

>>25650544
>your a cuck!
>I'm a man!
Do you carry around a sleeping bag in case you get tired too?

Your body sounds like an unpredictable chaotic mess.

>>25650302
I would honest to god probably just kill myself if that happened to me.

>>25650617
any man who literally HOLDS IN HIS SHIT for some kind of meaningless societal ideal is...i dont even have the word

such a pointless struggle

>>25650349
You sound like a really shitty friend.

>>25650663
I do not hold my shit in you retard. I shit once in the morning before work and once after dinner. I built a up a routine and my body acts accordingly. I never need to drop everything I'm doing to go make a poo like during the middle of the day like some undisciplined child.

>>25650944
im not as structured i guess

my work is seasonal, im kind of off now. i eat whenever, shit whenever i please

>>25650944
Then what do you expect from someone that is going to spend the night at your place if you met up well before dinner? They are going due to the schedule they set for their body but aren't at their place due to being somewhere else.

You are beyond absurd.

>>25648204
Sauce for this ?

is anyone else so sick of shitting that they purposefully limit their food intake to keep it to a once every 2 days maximum?

it seriously boggles my mind how much some people eat knowing that a lot of it has to come back out. how do they handle shitting so much? is it all at once or several times a day?

i mean, a sloppy shit can ruin your day, not to mention several!

it puts a major downer on my mood having to shit, it's one of the worst things in life.

>>25651513
I shit during the night. My day is pretty much over by then so I wipe the best I can, sleep, then shower in the morning and soap and water my ass crack to make sure it is clean for the day.

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>>25648282
>forgot to flush
Move on man you seriously fucked it up

>>25650500

this. I shit at my own fucking house every morning why can't everyone else? If you shit outside your own home you are an indian.

>>25651615
on the howard stern show, tiny tim said he showers after every single shit. i like that way of thinking; hovering over your shit, getting shit smell particles all over your body, is so disgusting. windows open, air freshener, blah blah... still feel filthy as fuck after a shit.

>>25648579
So you down to hang out next week? I've got a ticket to see the Browns at the Superbowl

>>25648361
People forget to do things all the time... Like how your mom appearantly forgot to get an abortion

>>25649461
tripfag overdose already

OP JUST TELL HER THE TRUTH THERE'S NO OTHER WAY NOW BE LIKE "sorry for not flushing (blushing emoji) I forgot to do so and I hope this doesn't mess up your perception of me it was just a silly mistake (wink emoji) I am really sorry those texts from earlier were me trying to justify myself but I decided it was better to just tell you te truth and that I am sorry about it"

90% CHANCES YOU'LL BE OK AND SHE'LL ANSWER YOU WITH A SMILING FACE AND A "dont worry anon shit happens heheheh"

Just apologize for pooing in her bathroom OP, girls appreciate honesty

>>25651969
>>25652038
This OP she could even respect you for being sincere, just do this it isn't even that big of a deal she maybe is disgusted now but by tomorrow all will be fine

>>25651513
>it puts a major downer on my mood having to shit, it's one of the worst things in life.
glad i'm not the only one
a few weeks ago i took an especially disgusting shit that was taking forever to wipe and started ranting out loud about how "disgusting this all this, paddling around in shit for another 65 years until i shit myself to death"

>the bathroom shares a wall with my sister's bedroom
>mfw i hear her laughing with her boyfriend

>>25651969
>being this insecure and beta about taking a shit

Yeah, everything's gonna be fine OP. She's being gangbanged by Tyrone and had right now.

>>25651969
>>25652038
>>25652070


kekekekekeke

>>25649742
>tfw my gf wants to do the pee thing too but we never found time to and I won't get to see her for at least a full week

Doesn't feel particularly good, man.

She watched me pee in the toilet though.
>had came inside of her like 3 minutes earlier so it was really hard to force the pee out and I peed for like 2 minutes straight while she just watched me and touched her vagina

Soon.

>>25649742
Fucking tripfags. Do you not understand we don't like you ?

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>>25648282
bruh how can you forget to flush

how can a person be all this stupid jesus christ i mean for real

first of all how you forget flushing the toilet? are you literally retarded or super fucking autistic?

jesus christ thank god you will NEVER breed

>>25650302
She sounds like a bro

>>25649021
*closes thread*

>>25650634
not him but it's just a fucking accident for god sake stop being so fucking wierd guys

Whenever I go through a tough date I just text something like "hey hahahah i know i know, you're probly thinking i messed up right? yeah i'm not giving up on you that easily! haha so whatcha doin next friday?". In your case I'd add "btw, next time i'm flushing u'll be blushing".

>>25649461
Ayo, is this faggot nigga a man or woman?

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>>25648204
>>25648282
Is that you OP

super duper original 2000

>>25652107
I'm gonna fucking die of laughter.

>>25653413
Why not just sit down and shit and piss then?

>>25654051
did you even read the story baka

>>25649592
fuck off junkie

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>this thread

OP what the actual fuck is wrong with you. I swear this is a troll, but it just seems too genuine for it not to be.

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>>25649021
You are not chad.

You are an autist.

Therefore, you cannot say these things.

What the fuck dude

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>>25649237
You should had ust texted to let her know you wanted to break up with her but didn't wanted to do it face to face or by phone, also say you couldn't find a note to write it on so thats why you did it.

Chad here, I feel sorry for you bro, so I'm going to help you. You have to do exactly what I day though and keep me updated by posting screenshots.
Oke, fist things first.
Start off with texting her "I love you".

>>25653413
Every fucking time. Love this story, Never gets old

i thought the lettuce person was a male troll?

>>25654443
He OP, bro, are you there? I don't think you are, After sending her "i love you", you should remind her of the good thimes you had, and as an addition you can add a really really funny picture that will help her remember those good times, ad something like this picture.

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>>25654866
Sorry bro forgot the picture, ad this

What ever happened to OP?

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>>25648282
>I forgot to flush

do you just get up and leave the bathroom after crapping? wtf

>>25655037
its not that fucking weird, ive done it before

ill get up from the toilet, maybe notice something on the floor, catch myself in a mirror in a weird way, fucking stupid shit and i just forget about going back to flush

only happens like 1/20 shits though

if you think about it,fake threads are the best thing in /r9k

>>25655092
In all my years of living I have not forgotten to flush.

That's like forgetting to wipe.

>>25648282
>so close to getting to agree to a date.
>agree to a date
nigga you pester this bitch in her own house then shit n run?

>>25649021
Why did you bring it up faggotass