>no degree, flunked out of college
>20k in debt and nothing to show for it
>have AvPD, doubt I'll ever be able to go outside or interact with others without being a nervous wreck (even benzos haven't really helped)
>poor as fuck, live with my mother
>never had a job, completely blank resume
>borderline retarded, freeze up and can't even do simple tasks when told to
>only joy in life comes from doing drugs to get away from myself for a few hours
>genuinely see nothing in my future other than drug addiction and suicide
How did it come to this? I just want to die, lads.
>put the effort to fix yourself
Fuck off, your just-world beliefs are retarded and baseless. What makes you think effort would fix anything for him? If it's as simple as "trying", then why not give specific instructions and solutions?
>$20k in debt just like OP
>dropped Uni twice
>diagnosed Bipolar, some other shit, health insurance cucked me so no shrink thats worth shit
>only shrink I went to ignored my cries for help when I had an adverse reaction to Geodon, became paranoid, and had to be put in the loony bin for three days
>second shrink doubts everything I do, prescribes me latuda, tells me he signed off the next day
>wait 3 weeks for meds that never come
>go back on another drug binge spree
>spend $1500 University refund on drugs, sex, and food
>family breaking down
>im breaking down
>about to be homeless
>friend of brother lets us live in one of his apts in NY
>bro in loony bin himself
>family still fucked, mum in hospital
>should be taking care of myself, currently on some stimulant, only spend my time inside playing guitar, not even good yet
>Chronic spondylosis, eye conditions, pretty much bad genes all around, got fat, etc etc
Well I'm not necessarily trying I'm just playing guitar and writing songs, sometimes when reality hits me I stay in bed all day but the other days I spend playing guitar and listening to music.
>didn't go to uni
>never had a job
>in therapy for anxiety and social phobia
>alcoholic and internet/mmo addict
>failed suicide attempt
>parents waiting for me to leave home
>trans, 2 year waiting time for an initial assessment
>too poor to self med or buy girl clothes while I wait
>parents giving everything to my sister when they die because I'm an atheist and trans
There is nothing for me in life, but I have no reason to kill myself either. Just waiting with no future.
Hue's arent people
Vai tomar no cu, Dilma already fucked you in the asshole so might as well walk into a favela and be done with it.
>mfw hue family
I've tried, honest to God I have. I went to college in an attempt to become a normal, sociable person, but I wound up making no friends, fucking up all my classes, and dropping out. I tried benzos in order to put my mental issues at bay so that I could better myself, but all that did was make me lose the one last person in my life who considered me a friend. I tried working out to get fit and confident, but I fucked up my ulnar nerve and soon ran out of money for the gym membership anyway. I tried going to CBT, but that was expensive as shit and didn't do anything for me. I tried different meds, but they either did nothing or simply broke my dick.
I've tried, but every time I've tried I've only fucked things up even more.
You sound very close to a very dear friend of mine.
Look for a friend. Anyone to talk to, chat with, open up to and just hang out with. It'll do you wonders. Said friend I've known was in a similar situation, give or take a few minor details, and in the five years I've known her, she's improved dramatically. Even better, she's helped me improve as well. It might not be easy to do, and it might be hard to find someone you really connect with even on a basic level, but it will be worth it.
>22 year old still live with my parents
>Hugless, kissless, conversationlist virgin
>fucked up uni for the second of time
>Haven't worked up the courage to tell my parents I've quit a second time
>parents expect me to marry someone from their land of origin
>they didn't bother to teach me the language
>my siblings turn to shit, making me the last one able to continue the family line
>barely able to have a close relationship with a 4/10 girl who likes the same things I do
>things wouldn't work out anyway since parents wouldn't accept her and her family nor do I want to convert her and please my parents
>somehow I still love my parents
>I'm just a bitch nigga people pleaser, afraid to choose one over the other.
>have MRSA that superbug you hear about in the news
>resistant to most treatments
>spreading through my entire body and being killed slowly
>accidentally infected my dog too
>need an IV treatment but doctors won't give it to me because they are assholes
>spend most days looking at shotgun suicide videos and finding out how to get a gun in canada
Always excuses with you lazy fucks. You're in that position because you chose it.
Unless you were born in some poor African village with literally no future prospects no matter how hard you work, I don't wanna hear it.
Get off your ass and get your shit together.
>You're in that position because you chose it.
>Unless you were born in some poor African village with literally no future prospects no matter how hard you work, I don't wanna hear it.
>There are people whose lives are worse than yours, therefore there can't possibly be anything that is out of your control!
There's nothing rational about your beliefs. You don't need to live in Africa to have no potential for success.