>start to go down on a girl
>face right up against her ass
>take a whiff of swampass
>instant boner kill
Why do girls think it's okay to not clean up before sex? I couldn't get it up after that and had to bullshit my way out.
i dont understand fags who want to eat/sniff ass
one time i was fuckig my ex gf doggystyle and the motion of fucking her whooshed some air up to my face that smelled like shit, literally smelled like shit
it killed my boner completely
and when i told her, i swear to nutsack, the bitch actually got uppity with me
god, they're fucking animals. i wipe and wipe until theres nothing on the paper, then i wet the paper and repeat that, then i use dry again. anyone who does anything less is a fucking pig
>>face right up against her ass
>>take a whiff of swampass
What? Scared of a little aroma therapy?
>go down on a girl
You lost it right there. My folk believes that cunnilingus is the gayest shit you can do. Gayer than sucking cock or taking it up the ass. Gayer than even sucking cock while take it up the ass.
>fucking a girl doggy style
>notice something poking out of her ass
>spread cheeks to find a long piece of toilet paper stuck to her taint
>instant boner loss
>fucking her from behind
>dicks come out
>grab it to push back in
>notice there was all this white clumpy shit over my dick
>smell my hand
>rotten fish and milk smell
>instantly run to the bathroom to throw up
>bitch had a yeast infection and apparently "didn't know"
>fishy rotten smell in my bedroom for like 2 days
there's more, but vaginas are so fucking nasty, especially when you catch them on the days when they start giving off vaginal discharge, nothing kills a boner more when you spread her legs to find that shit there
And people say 2D isn't superior. Just get a onahole or lolihole and VR, you fags. Women are literally obsolete.
>triggering all deez normies with my stinky butt
>sashay across the room as they whiff my odour
>they can't do anything about it or even be sure it is my butt
I am pleased.
Fuck off NEETcuck, not everyone sits at home all day. When I have to shit at 9am in the office and I'm there until 4, I can't hold it in without ripping ass and making it even worse.
This, people do not think about how fucking amazing it feels to bring discomfort in the form a shit smell to normies.
I love being in the grocery after a weekend showerless and letting out a fart. Nothing is worse than a bad smelling fart filtered through 3 days of swamp ass.
The best is that I work in an office, and because all of our programs are in house built it would take 6months or so to train someone new.
Because of this I can do jsut about anything. I let farts rip all fucking day in my cubicle and no one can say a word.
nothing feels better than making a normie bitch gag on your odor
>going down on ex-girlfriend for years
>always have to strategically avoid her ass if she hasn't showered recently because of swampass
>actually enjoy eating her ass, but can only do it after a shower
>practically need to keep a special notebook on when and how i can get downwind of this chick's butt
>go fuck a bunch of cute girls from the internet
>all skinny as hell
>go on a walking date with this girl after she gets off from a long day at university
>we walk like 2-3 hours in the summer heat
>get to some secluded location
>decide to start going down on her
>fuck it, i'll take some swampass for the team
>spin her around
>literally zero swampass
>get right in there
>her asshole smells like n o t h i n g
>had the time of my fucking life
Why are some women dirty and some women aren't?
Normal people don't use public bathrooms retard.
>Do you actually reach into your asshole with tp?
I kinda do. I stick like probably the first phalange of my finger wrapped in several layers of toilet paper and then softly rim the inner edge of my sphincter. I do this until it comes totally clean. It is really easy if you know how to relax your ass, and it doesn't hurt or anything.
>When I have to shit at 9am in the office and I'm there until 4, I can't hold it in without ripping ass and making it even worse.
My first job was from 10:30am to 9:00pm and I never ever in one year needed to shit at my workplace. You just need to schedule your foods properly. Your ass is retarded and you probably eat a lot of garbage.
>Not shitting twice a day
lmao enjoy your bowel cancer.
I shit at 8:30am and 3:30pm almost on the dot every day for at least 5 years now. People at work make fun of me all the time and then bitch they are constipated in the same breath
>I shit twice a day do I can smell like fresh shit all the afternoon at the office. Sharing toilet seats with 300+ people is just one of the many wonders of my healthy defecation practice.
I can wholeheartedly attest to this wiping procedure. I thought girls were supposed to have clean and not smelly assholes. If robots on 4chan can wipe their ass correctly why can't normie women?
Wipe with Tp, get rid of shit, them wipe with Wetwipes. Spotless fucking asshole when you're done.
I'm a care aid and I haven't seen a cleaner asshole than my patients after I got the rest of the staff to do this routine.
Literally only 500lb people who dont wipe smell like shit after defecating. The rest of us can manage to clean ourselves.
Plus I carry these with me in my pocket
Maybe you should incorporate more fibrous greens and seeds into your diet.
Bullshit. Unless you have food poisoning or a similar illness, there's no reason you can't hold it for a few more hours. Time your shits out so they arrive when you wake up or later in the day. It's not hard to do.
You're that fucking guy who willfully wants to shit at work and then comment about how he was just paid to take a shit. You are that fucking guy
Please kill yourself.
You'd be surprised how many "basic" things you do that women don't, just because you're conscious of the need to actually try in life.
Women literally, literally think their shit doesn't stink. Let that sink in. Not wiping properly is a practically a pandemic among girls. The stories of skidmarked panties and assrot are innumerable.
Meanwhile I shit through a mesh weave of ass hair, but because I don't assume that I am perfect due to constantly being told as much, I take wiping my shithole seriously.
>time your shits out
holy shit you're a cuckold
>literally holding in his shit for the man
never understood fags who wont shit at school or work. is it anxiety? i mean everyone fucking does it, back in high school the stalls were full half the time
People not all of us enjoy sitting on a piece of plastic hundreds of other sweat fat assholes has used to shit their thick fast food created pus-poop because they cant help themselves but to eat fast food three tmes a day.
who here disgusting thicket of pubes all over nutsack, taint, asshole, and even starting up the shaft but no beard?
Nastiest chick I ever slept with was a hippie. Not a fake hippie ether, a straight up only natural bathed, no shaving body hair, organic everything, girl. like 2/3rds of the time we'd have sex would be in the shower because I washed her first. She smelled, she knew she smelled, but holy fuck was her body fine as fuck. Had an afro bush and slightly hair legs but her tits, ass, and core were perfectly shapped and toned.
23 year old virgin. i went down on a girl recently though... i was afraid it was going to smell or anything but it was super clean and she was so fucking tasty. she was grabbing my hair while i was wondering what the fuck am i doing lol is this the clitoris oh god please dont let her know i suck at this
anyway im drooling just thinking about it. i didnt get to fuck her tho lol
she was a friend of a friend. one day we met out of nowhere in the place i was with my laptop and i decided to give her a ride home. went for the kiss at the end since i had nothing to lose, and got lucky
i didnt have a condom and was super nervous and anxious, i doubt i could even do it
my tongue is still sore from that day, im wondering if this is normal lol
she hasnt returned my texts obviously but i already got more than i deserved so no complains there