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>start to go down on a girl
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You are currently reading a thread in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001

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>start to go down on a girl
>face right up against her ass
>take a whiff of swampass
>instant boner kill

Why do girls think it's okay to not clean up before sex? I couldn't get it up after that and had to bullshit my way out.
>>
>>25644187
Meh, it goes both ways. Just make it a policy to mutually shower before sex.
>>
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>>25644187
i dont understand fags who want to eat/sniff ass

one time i was fuckig my ex gf doggystyle and the motion of fucking her whooshed some air up to my face that smelled like shit, literally smelled like shit

it killed my boner completely

and when i told her, i swear to nutsack, the bitch actually got uppity with me

god, they're fucking animals. i wipe and wipe until theres nothing on the paper, then i wet the paper and repeat that, then i use dry again. anyone who does anything less is a fucking pig
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>>25644543
I wipe till there's nothing left either but that still won't mean it won't smell. Gotta soap up dat ass in the shower.
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>>25644608
ive known that people just roll out some tp, wipe with it until its gone, pull up their pants and leave

fucking disgusting
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>>25644187
>>face right up against her ass
>>take a whiff of swampass
>>instant boner
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>>25645365
go away, literal shithead

it's a more pathetic fetish than cuck or femdom
>>
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>>25645389
What? Scared of a little aroma therapy?
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>>25645402
>scared of a little shit?

yes

i don't like shit

it smells quite unpleasant and i want my nose as far away from it as possible
>>
>>25644608
>>25644629
>>25644543
>All these OCD hypochondriacs
You poop. Get over it. Wipe your bum a few times and have a nice day. It will reduce your blood pressure.
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>>25645420
I have a mental illness.
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>>25644187
>go down on a girl
You lost it right there. My folk believes that cunnilingus is the gayest shit you can do. Gayer than sucking cock or taking it up the ass. Gayer than even sucking cock while take it up the ass.
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>>25644187
why are you posting here?
are you retarded?
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>>25645433
>being okay with literally smelling like fucking shit

you are garbage

you give this country a bad name
>>
>fucking a girl doggy style
>notice something poking out of her ass
>spread cheeks to find a long piece of toilet paper stuck to her taint
>instant boner loss

another girl

>fucking her from behind
>dicks come out
>grab it to push back in
>notice there was all this white clumpy shit over my dick
>smell my hand
>rotten fish and milk smell
>instantly run to the bathroom to throw up
>bitch had a yeast infection and apparently "didn't know"
>fishy rotten smell in my bedroom for like 2 days

there's more, but vaginas are so fucking nasty, especially when you catch them on the days when they start giving off vaginal discharge, nothing kills a boner more when you spread her legs to find that shit there

blurghh
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>>25645433
Just because you poop doesn't mean that you should enjoy whiffing it or even eat ass, it's a major health hazard.
>>
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>this thread
And people say 2D isn't superior. Just get a onahole or lolihole and VR, you fags. Women are literally obsolete.
>>
most girls are extremely self-conscious and will prep before sex. you just got some nasty bitch
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>>25645601
Beat me to it. 2D will always be superior.
Hell, if you don't value your life and/or sanity, get a tulpa like I did. Been with her since November 2008 and we're having a blast.
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>>25645433

No , clean your ass properly you degenerate. No one wants to smell your shit when they're walking behind you.
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>>25645601
I'd imagine 2D would smell like flowers and taste like clean skin after a shower. How can real women compete?
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>>25645433

Wipe your ass and when you think it's clean run your finger along it and then smell your finger.

That's what you smell like all day.
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>>25644629
That's how most normal people wipe, idiot. You can't soap up and soak tp in a public bathroom, either.
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>>25645756
>>25645859
>>25645518
>>25645571
>triggering all deez normies with my stinky butt
>sashay across the room as they whiff my odour
>they can't do anything about it or even be sure it is my butt
I am pleased.
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>>25645860

Shit at your home.

Unless you are sick or have a chronic condition (which is a very small percentage of people), there's no reason you cannot shit at home.
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>>25645859
How can you possibly clean more with dry toilet paper? Do you actually reach into your asshole with tp?

I use wet wipes at home then finish off with dry tp
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>>25646009
Fuck off NEETcuck, not everyone sits at home all day. When I have to shit at 9am in the office and I'm there until 4, I can't hold it in without ripping ass and making it even worse.
>>
How are dogs able to shit and not leave anything hanging from their ass or smelling? Humans are the only ones that have to wipe
>>
>>25645365
retweeting this, bad smell is cute
>>
>>25646572
>How can you possibly clean more with dry toilet paper?

You can't which is why you should use wet paper and soap.
>>
>>25645899
This, people do not think about how fucking amazing it feels to bring discomfort in the form a shit smell to normies.

I love being in the grocery after a weekend showerless and letting out a fart. Nothing is worse than a bad smelling fart filtered through 3 days of swamp ass.

The best is that I work in an office, and because all of our programs are in house built it would take 6months or so to train someone new.

Because of this I can do jsut about anything. I let farts rip all fucking day in my cubicle and no one can say a word.

nothing feels better than making a normie bitch gag on your odor
>>
>>25647232
You, sir, are living the life.
>>
>>25647232
>I'm not a normie
>working in an office

Yeah no, fuck off.
>>
>going down on ex-girlfriend for years
>always have to strategically avoid her ass if she hasn't showered recently because of swampass
>actually enjoy eating her ass, but can only do it after a shower
>practically need to keep a special notebook on when and how i can get downwind of this chick's butt
>break up
>go fuck a bunch of cute girls from the internet
>all skinny as hell
>zero swampass
>go on a walking date with this girl after she gets off from a long day at university
>we walk like 2-3 hours in the summer heat
>get to some secluded location
>decide to start going down on her
>fuck it, i'll take some swampass for the team
>spin her around
>literally zero swampass
>nothing
>get right in there
>her asshole smells like n o t h i n g
>had the time of my fucking life

Why are some women dirty and some women aren't?
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>>25647390
Probably because she showered in the beginning of the day, cleaned her ass and didn't have to shit yet
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>>25647448
She smelled better than my ex-gf smelled an hour out of the shower. Hell, ten minutes out of the shower.
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>>25647030
baby wipes, nigga
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>>25645860

Normal people don't use public bathrooms retard.

>>25646572

>Do you actually reach into your asshole with tp?

I kinda do. I stick like probably the first phalange of my finger wrapped in several layers of toilet paper and then softly rim the inner edge of my sphincter. I do this until it comes totally clean. It is really easy if you know how to relax your ass, and it doesn't hurt or anything.

>>25646601

>When I have to shit at 9am in the office and I'm there until 4, I can't hold it in without ripping ass and making it even worse.

My first job was from 10:30am to 9:00pm and I never ever in one year needed to shit at my workplace. You just need to schedule your foods properly. Your ass is retarded and you probably eat a lot of garbage.
>>
>>25647496
your ex probably had a bad diet
>>
>>25644187
How do you tell a girl to clean up before sex?
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>>25647684
Literally everyone I work with shits and pisses in the bathroom at work
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>>25647801

>everybody sits in the same toilet at my workplace, and that makes me want to use it too

Yeah well you are retarded. I bet you're all fat asses living on fast food every day.
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>>25647684
>Not shitting twice a day
lmao enjoy your bowel cancer.

I shit at 8:30am and 3:30pm almost on the dot every day for at least 5 years now. People at work make fun of me all the time and then bitch they are constipated in the same breath
>>
>>25647850
We aren't but enjoy your delusion
>>
>>25646671

A combination of terrible diets and not using proper squatting technique.

Dog shit also does not smell as bad as human shit
>>
>>25647851

>I shit twice a day do I can smell like fresh shit all the afternoon at the office. Sharing toilet seats with 300+ people is just one of the many wonders of my healthy defecation practice.
>>
>>25647851

>Having to shit more than once a day.

Your're eating too much. Enjoy your heart disease you fat fuck.
>>
>>25644543

I can wholeheartedly attest to this wiping procedure. I thought girls were supposed to have clean and not smelly assholes. If robots on 4chan can wipe their ass correctly why can't normie women?
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>>25644187
Wetwipes

Wipe with Tp, get rid of shit, them wipe with Wetwipes. Spotless fucking asshole when you're done.

I'm a care aid and I haven't seen a cleaner asshole than my patients after I got the rest of the staff to do this routine.
>>
>>25647951
Literally only 500lb people who dont wipe smell like shit after defecating. The rest of us can manage to clean ourselves.

Plus I carry these with me in my pocket

>>25647960
Maybe you should incorporate more fibrous greens and seeds into your diet.
>>
>>25646601

Bullshit. Unless you have food poisoning or a similar illness, there's no reason you can't hold it for a few more hours. Time your shits out so they arrive when you wake up or later in the day. It's not hard to do.

You're that fucking guy who willfully wants to shit at work and then comment about how he was just paid to take a shit. You are that fucking guy

Please kill yourself.
>>
>>25647969
You'd be surprised how many "basic" things you do that women don't, just because you're conscious of the need to actually try in life.

Women literally, literally think their shit doesn't stink. Let that sink in. Not wiping properly is a practically a pandemic among girls. The stories of skidmarked panties and assrot are innumerable.

Meanwhile I shit through a mesh weave of ass hair, but because I don't assume that I am perfect due to constantly being told as much, I take wiping my shithole seriously.
>>
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>>25648079
>time your shits out

holy shit you're a cuckold

>literally holding in his shit for the man

never understood fags who wont shit at school or work. is it anxiety? i mean everyone fucking does it, back in high school the stalls were full half the time
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>>25648318
People not all of us enjoy sitting on a piece of plastic hundreds of other sweat fat assholes has used to shit their thick fast food created pus-poop because they cant help themselves but to eat fast food three tmes a day.
>>
>wipe ass with tp
>finger into ass to additionally clean it
>tp rips with finger in shit filled asshole
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>>25648711
>shit for 10-20 seconds
>wipe for 5 minutes
Should I just shave? Not sure because of that copy pasta
>>
>>25645527
Jesus christ I should give up on vagina and get a real doll.
>>
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who here disgusting thicket of pubes all over nutsack, taint, asshole, and even starting up the shaft but no beard?
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>>25644187


FUCK OFF NORMIE .THIS BOARD IS NOT ABOUT SEX REEEE REEEE REEEE
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>>25648745
I feel your pain. I have to use like 1/4 of a tp roll just for one shit. But I hear shaving your hairy ass makes it worse
>>
Nastiest chick I ever slept with was a hippie. Not a fake hippie ether, a straight up only natural bathed, no shaving body hair, organic everything, girl. like 2/3rds of the time we'd have sex would be in the shower because I washed her first. She smelled, she knew she smelled, but holy fuck was her body fine as fuck. Had an afro bush and slightly hair legs but her tits, ass, and core were perfectly shapped and toned.
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>>25648914
>>25648745
i strongly suggest you start using baby wipes. wiping that much can massively increase your chances of getting cancer.
>>
>>25649136
Lying on the internet can massively increase your chance of me pissing in your eyeballs as well
>>
Why would you ever go down on a girl?
It's not normal. Is a feminist invention.
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>>25649772
^^^THIS^^^

With out the pain women put us through they dont deserve the pleasure from sex
>>
>>25649772
It gets me off seeing her get wet
>>
>there are people who don't use baby wipes

literally why
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>>25650178
Mommy says I'm too old for them
>>
>Tfw I jerk off in the bathroom at work literally every day and have never been caught
>>
>>25651341
>they know you mong
>>
>>25651341
How can you even stand fapping at work?

The only place I'm comfy enough to fap is home
>>
>>25651641
How, its not like anyone watches me, and I always stop if they come in.

>>25652557
ITS EASY AND MAKES me feels relax
>>
23 year old virgin. i went down on a girl recently though... i was afraid it was going to smell or anything but it was super clean and she was so fucking tasty. she was grabbing my hair while i was wondering what the fuck am i doing lol is this the clitoris oh god please dont let her know i suck at this

anyway im drooling just thinking about it. i didnt get to fuck her tho lol
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>>25652791
>tfw i will never eat a girl out

how did it happen senpai?
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>>25652947

she was a friend of a friend. one day we met out of nowhere in the place i was with my laptop and i decided to give her a ride home. went for the kiss at the end since i had nothing to lose, and got lucky
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>>25653185
how did she let you eat her out but not fuck her? ot at least how have you done done it in the days since then
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>>25653222
She already has a boyfriend
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>>25653289
my fucking sides senpai i wish you could be honest
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>>25653222

i didnt have a condom and was super nervous and anxious, i doubt i could even do it

my tongue is still sore from that day, im wondering if this is normal lol

she hasnt returned my texts obviously but i already got more than i deserved so no complains there
>>
>>25648745
Just trim it short with some clippers. No need to shave.
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