I'm new to this board but from what i've read here i'm starting to think most of you are just closet homosexuals, there is this absurd hate toward girls which makes me think you all would be happy sucking yours or others dude dick
>>25636922 I'm sure there's a very loud voice coming from a small minority. I feel like /r9k/ has a lot of different visitors from different boards. The one's who frequent here mainly tend to be the very misogynistic ones (well, actually most of 4chan is).
>>25636986 No problem! No one likes to be ignored :)
As for long distance, that's a difficult situation that I've dealt with before. I think the best thing to do is trust them, unless of course you have reason not to. Any doubt will just make you paranoid and ruin your perception of them. Try to call a lot, make sure you update them as much as you can about what's going on. Even the small stuff. The person on the other line just wants to hear you. Sometimes it's fine if you have nothing to talk about. Go grocery shopping and just describe the choices and things you have to buy.
For jobs and studying, is the job on campus? Try to do that. Most on campus jobs are very low maintenance and allow you time to study, whilst being paid. If you're actually working/internship, it might be best to choose one or the other, unless you're fine with grades lower than normal. You can always discuss with your manager of your work if you can work mostly weekends and friday nights. It doesn't sound fun, but sometimes you have to do a sacrifice for the better of your future. If you have more details i'd be more happy to advise further.
I used to be close friends with this girl but shit happened and now I can't stand her but she keeps trying to befriend me after she's had several failed attempts, should I just completely tell her to fuck off or should I keep it to myself and let her do her thing?
I got dumped by my girlfriend a week before Christmas. I've been drinking a fair bit since and kinda lonely.
A couple days ago I was posting some stories to /b/ about fingering her and eating her out, and this (supposed) girl replied to me. She said the stories were making her hot etc etc.
I guess I was lonely because I asked her where she lived, and when she said England, I joked about wanting to go there for Uni/College. She joked about wanting me to go to England too.
I asked her for contact info so we could webcam or something and she chickened out and said no. I've had this weird feeling of wanting to talk to her again ever since... like I miss her or something. What the fuck. I replied to her probably 5 times, and even though there was a thread full of guys paying attention to her, she seemed to be the most drawn to me. I felt wanted for once and I miss her now.
>>25637347 It's hard to tell without knowing beyond "shit happened", but if it involves trust then you aren't really at fault. If you don't trust someone, then that's a fair reason to not be their friend.
What confuses me, is you know you have the choice to tell her off completely but haven't yet, maybe it's because you have small feelings to befriend her later on. You can always tell her you want some space, and if in the time you have a decision just let her know.
>>25637414 You might be infatuated with this person because the person who used to give you attention no longer does. But let's look at some logistics of your situation: - What are the chances she isn't a he (very real chance on here) - What are the chances you go to England - What are the chances she isn't a psycho - etc.
There's no shame in meeting people, but I think you're just in a stage of your life where meeting a person seems exciting because it's exciting to learn the background of a new person. Asking questions about what they do, what they think of certain topics, etc.. But don't set your emotions beyond the means of reality. Feel free to talk to her, but keep your expectations low, besides, there's nothing wrong with just talking on chat for awhile. I did that for about a month with a friend and we eventually evolved to calling.
I want to express my feelings to this girl I known for years, but I don't know if she feels the same way, I don't want to ruin our relation and make things awkard but I really need to get that out off my chest because its killing me, anon.
>>25637525 No problem! Good luck with the rest of your life! I'll be around here if you ever need anything! :)
>>25637563 Oh then you definitely shouldn't worry. Take this time to invest in yourself. Have fun! Don't shower! Just really relax. Being in a relationship is taxing emotionally and financially. Talk to people, but if it doesn't develop into a relationship? Oh well! I say be excited. You seem like a sociable person, so realize you can meet people and have good talks, maybe one will develop into a nice relationship! No need to rush/worry about missed connections.
>>25637606 What's your relation to this girl? If she's a good friend, you have to take into consideration that entering a relationship could very well jeopardize that friendship. Would you be comfortable with that? Imagine being in a relationship with her, ending it, staying friends, seeing her with other guys. This could just be a phase. Otherwise go for it and tell her! Just say something like "Hey [name], we've known each other for awhile and I've enjoyed spending time with you, but through this time I did develop feelings for you, if it's not mutual I understand but I just thought I'd let you know".
>>25637635 (You) are not alone, Anon :) I'll be here as long as you need it.
>>25637670 Sleeping is pretty great, but Anon, you eventually have to go out there and face reality!
>>25637685 Try walking out the same time as her and then making a comment about the class? Try sitting next to her? Maybe if you see her outside of class sometime, wave! Most people have done a scan of their entire class. If not introduce yourself and talk about the class and progress from there.
>>25637701 They are! Just keep conversations casual, don't think too much into it. Learn about new people! Don't worry if you don't need to. Farewell and wishing you the best with whatever it is you pursue!
>>25637746 >Sleeping is pretty great, but Anon, you eventually have to go out there and face reality! I know,... I need to make radical changes in my life but i has been really hard. I have therapy next week, hopefully it'll be a good session
I went ice skating with a friend yesterday, but he ended up dodging a kid and falling backwards on his head. There was a lot of blood, and we ended up going to the hospital in an ambulance. He needed 5 stitches. The dad of the kid didn't even apologize. Wish people kept their kids on leashes or something... Ugh.
In the face of everyone, I am a funny/ fellow who seems normal and enjoys his life. But In not that, I hide my real self from everyone because no one seems to understand or get me. When ever I tried to converse with someone about space or physics, they just "o_o" and walked away, considered me a kid who didnt know what he was talking about or questioned why I knew stuff like that, this was when I was 10 btw. So I decided I would hide that side of me until I found someone who understood me, I know it seems stupid, but a lot of people stopped talking to me when I was 10 because they were weirded out by me, I didnt want that to happen now that im older. Maybe someday ill find someone that gets me.
>>25635150 Hey anon. Just wanted to say that I'm starting up classes again monday and in the major I've come to love. Computer programming! Only thing is there's no word where the classes are or what time. I'll have to go to student services after work tomorrow but I cant wait. Anyways, how's your night going anon?
>>25635150 Hi. A month ago my gf went on a weekend trip with some people from her work. One of these guys she went with she used to bang all the time when she was single. I didn't put two and two together until today, but for the past month she has been distant and seemed less interested in me for no reason at all. Am I being paranoid because of my insecurities? I know I pretty much just have to trust her, but I don't feel a lot of trust for her. Wot do?
>>25635150 Only 26 more days until my 30th birthday. I have big plans, I'm going out to get drunk(alone of course) then I'm going to drive as fast as possible down the highway and just let go of the steering wheel. Shit is gonna be fun, I live in the mountains so I'll probably fly off a cliff or something. I don't have friends or family so I'm telling you OP because I feel like somebody should know. Hope you have a good year buddy.
I lost weight, tried to wear better clothes, took care of my skin to the point where I barely have any signs of acne. I picked up a lot of hobbies such as running, reading, spanish and guitar. I also do my best to have an active social life and around 4 friends I see regularly, including 2 girls.
I'm nowhere near as secluded, childish or disgusting as I was years ago. I feel like I've made progress but I still feel like a piece of shit inferior to everybody else. I still feel like I don't deserve to be loved by anybody, including myself. I don't even know why, it's a deeply rooted belief that I can't seem to get rid of.
I still don't have a girlfriend. The only thing that happened was almost having sex with a girl and her changing her mind at the last minute because it "felt weird" with me. Allegedly, it was because we were friends and knew each other for around a year.
I feel like I figured out a game but it keeps crashing to keep me from winning. I literally don't know what I'm supposed to do at this point. Am I broken for life?
>>25638807 Good for you for making those changes. Don't quit before the miracle. If you're that close to beating the game you can't give up. Fucking beat that game any way you can and if you can't then you figure out new ways to beat the game that no ones ever thought of before. You just can't stop trying.
I'm so alone but I can't stand the idea of normie girls. I keep seeing all of these "anon got a gf on 4chan" type stories and it's pushing me down a hill. I wish I had it in me to just give up and die. >tfw perpetually hopeful
>>25638884 This might seem really discouraging and I'm sorry for that but I don't know how else to put it.
It's really unlikely to find a girl who loves, respects, and cares for you until you find how to be happy without a girl in your life. it's a weird paradox, but you have to get to a spot where you don't need a gf to get a gf normie or not
It's cool you got out of the funk enough to pursue your interests. Discovering lifting and running has brought me as much joy as vidya and anime, and unlike vidya and anime they are still enjoyable to me.
I am confused by the inferiority complex shit though. I've always thought I was better than everyone. I can't even imagine what it's like to have low self esteem, and I'm really fucking smart and able to imagine a lot of things. It's actually the main reason I started lifting. It wasn't immediately apparent enough to everyone how much better I am than them so I took it a step further than dressing better.
Surely you possess basic perception right? I mean if you haven't crossed a busy interstate or walked off a cliff yet I just can't see how don't realize that you are better than 90%. Have you ever talked to a normie before? The bar is set so low you need a shovel to go any lower.
>>25639065 I guess maybe I phrased it badly. What I mean is that I seem weird, or not valuable to people around me. In my mind's eye, I do know that I'm smart, can be funny and considerate to people I care about.
I just can bring myself to believe somebody cares about me.
>>25639059 Good. It's gay, but positivity truly is contagious and makes the world a better place. That inability to love yourself is probably more common than you think and apart from that it really seems like everything's on an upward trajectory in your life. Show us the way. Keep going and get a gf who loves you for who you are, not what you can do for her. Find a way to love yourself because no one else can until you do. And then return with the experience and wisdom and share it with us, that we may one day join you on the plains of serenity.
Maybe you could offer some insight... Any tips on helping a friend with depression? He used to be able to deal with it, but this last half a year he's become increasingly more despaired. But the thing is, the more I try to cheer him up, the worse I feel for it, like I'm being drained of my own strength, y'know?
>>25638785 You could do that. Or you could give the world just one more year to show you we need you here. We'll try to ease your pain and stop dumping shit on you all the time. Just please stick around for one more year. If after that time you are still in constant pain just having to go through life, we will release you with no hard feelings. Give us a year to prove we're sorry and things can be different. If you choose not to, you will be missed and probably the most by the people you'd least expect.
>>25639176 in my experience with depression, it was a completely self-centered problem. when other people tried to cheer me up it just made me feel more isolated. ultimately there is plenty of help for people with depression, but they have to decide they want it and seek it out. which sucks because depression twists your thoughts and makes you avoid seeking help.
I think the greatest thing anyone ever did through my depression was a friend I had who was a girl who just called me 2-3 times a week. She was using me to talk through her issues, but it really made me feel like someone cared about me and I mattered to somebody. I'm dating her now and I told her about how much that time meant to me and it brought tears to her eyes. It almost brings tears to my eyes thinking of those dark days where the only happiness I had was seeing her number light up my phone.
I know we all hate the cliche jus bee... I mean furst luv urself bullshit, but I say fuck it. I like me, and I'm always right.
I think what normies do is hang out with uglies and losers on purpose. They don't want a friend better than them because then they look bad. People want friends mostly around their level of worth, with a couple butt monkeys to shit on when they have an ego crisis. Either you're trying to hang out with turbochad billionaire type As who already have buttmonkeys, or more likely they're too far below you and don't want to look bad. Try aiming a step higher. If nothing else you can find some pretentious hipsters or 'psychonauts'. They tend to be deluded and have an inflated sense of self worth and might befriend you despite the power gap.
>>25639271 Thank you for answering. I'm already constantly messaging this person, discussing things that he enjoys (I'm not the kind of person who phones others a lot, so I prefer messages). Then we also hang out about 3 times a week.
It's just that I constantly have to filter what I say, in order to avoid something that might set off his self-hating fit, and this constant vigilance is somewhat mentally taxing. I get too anxious, because I'm worried he'd do something harmful to himself. Plus, I kinda noticed that I started mimicking his behaviour, i.e. always assuming the worst.
>>25639299 what religion? I'm pretty sure no religion wants or teaches that you should hate yourself for your mistakes. Fapping is ok, it's been proven medically to lower risk of prostate cancer and generally improve happiness. I myself am not Christian, but I have thoroughly studied Jesus's teachings and try to incorporate the underlying message into my thoughts and actions every day. When he says "To lust after another woman in your mind is to have already lain with her" or something to that extent, he doesn't necessarily mean you are an awful person and should go to the commonly perceived definition of hell. What he means is these kinds of impure thoughts (i.e. pornography, lustful thinking, chronic masturbation) lead to just as much suffering and unhappiness (hell) as actions that we might consider to be an extreme of these thoughts. He means to say that in order to improve your relationship with God and your fellow man, you must seek not only to rid yourself of these sinful actions but also these sinful thoughts. He also teaches that you will fail to be perfect and if you ask for forgiveness you will find you were already forgiven long ago. He himself made 1-2 mistakes in the bible. Put down the bat dude, stop beating yourself up. Do you hurt people with violence or emotional abuse? Do you touch little kids? Do you steal money from your family to buy drugs? I hope you answered no so I can say "See there's a lot worse things you could be doing than jacking it"
>>25639289 well.... without blogging too much, I was recently fucked up beyond belief in a car accident. (2 years ago) After I recovered from my injuries I was 5150'd because I was a manic episode. I didn't know I had bi-polar. turns out I was taking the wrong medicine that triggered hypomania.
Now I'm trying to get autismbux, lose weight, go back to school, get on the right kind of medication that will give me the attentionspan to read a fucking textbook, etc.
It also doesn't help that I'm completely dependent on opioid pain killers because of the chronic pain from the accident. So it literally hurts to work out. It's just much to just eat a bunch of shitty junk food and shitpost on 4chan. The mood stabilizers they have me are known to cause weight-gain and it makes me lethargic af.
to top all that off, the wait time to see a psych in my area is at least 4 or 5 months. I'm going to try and convince my GP to prescribe me adderall and lithium instead of the anti-psychotic that i'm on.
umm, yeah that's about it. any questions? if you're super bored i'll chat with you on skype if you want to lend even more of an ear
>>25639373 I understand. You will have to make a tough personal decision here. If you feel your efforts are dragging you down and might leave you in a bad place, you owe it to yourself to stop and focus on keeping yourself where you need to be. You can't help anyone out in the future if you ruin yourself trying to help this one person. If you think you're strong enough to keep going then try to do it for him but also realize maybe he needs to be left alone to realize it's unacceptable to continue living this way and he needs to change something. This is often scary because occasionally people faced with this need to change choose the easier path of suicide. This is never anyone's fault except the person who chooses to end their life. You would not be responsible for this decision, but you still might feel guilt for the rest of your life and wonder if you could've done something differently. This should also be weighed when making your decision.
It's a lot to process and a tough call with no clear right/wrong answer. Do the trick where you blurt out a decision in under 3 seconds. The first decision you think of is the right one more often than not. Don't second guess it ever after that.
>>25639381 i just need a hug :( i need someone to tell me honestly that itll be okay
>>25639415 fapping isn't okay, dont think that im just gonna accept doing it, really thats the least helpful thing you can say. it is possible to stop doing it, im just too worthless to do so.
and i know what he says in the bible, the point is i try to be good and fail every time. i know i can be forgiven but it doesn't feel right to just fuck up every day and then just pray say im sorry and live like nothing happened. im okay with making mistakes sometimes, but not this much. i hate myself because i just feel hopeless and irredeemable, i know it's only my fault because no matter how much i pray and beg for help, i still dont get any better. so the last thing left for me is to hang myself and be done with this, go straight to hell where i will end up anyway.
Is there something wrong with me? I'm fairly attractive, i'm not autistic, i'm not fat, i don't sperg out at the slightest hint of human interaction. And yet at the age of 21 i am still a virgin, to make it even more depressing. Being in the army i've noticed that even the ugliest and the most autistic fucks there have gfs.
>>25639449 I don't have a skype but I'll get one. I could always use another friend.
That's a lot of stuff to process. I'm glad you have a good attitude about being able to improve your life. It is absolutely possible, but it doesn't sound like it's going to be free of it's share of obstacles. The whole deal where working out hurts really sucks, but it's better to take the meds.
I'd love to know more about you and what kind of career you'd be interested in pursuing.
>>25639558 Good on you. Caring about people is really hard sometimes, but caring that deeply for others is one of the greatest pleasures in my life. I hope you find your caring to be similarly rewarded one day.
>>25639548 So I'm gonna paraphrase you a bit to point out how I don't follow your logic. You can parse my summary and retort with why it's stupid, but I think I get it.
>Deep down doesn't want to masturbate >Has tried to stop but finds himself unable to stop >Feels like a failure >Feels like killing himself is what he deserves
Come on man. Jesus/Allah/God/Anybody doesn't want that for you. Did you try getting on your knees, bowing your head, and saying "God please, I need your help. I can't do this on my own. Please remove from me the things that displease you. I no longer wish to be a slave to my basic animal instincts. Free me from these lustful thoughts, that I may better serve you and my fellow man." ?
Idk man you're certainly cool to think whatever you like, but it's not black and white. But you will be judged just as you judge others and yourself. So if it's that serious for you than it's that fucking serious and you really need to ask for help.
>>25639562 I was super interested in going into transportation engineering, but then i realized I'm retarded at maths and it would take me years to complete a BS, assuming I pass every class I take the first time.
I was training to become a CHP officer (even went so far as to get my concealed handgun license), which is pretty hard to get here in CA. when I got involuntary committed, they took away and destroyed my guns though. So i can kiss any career in law enforcement or civil service goodbye.
I'll probably just end up working some government job pushing papers because the benefits are decent and the job security is great.
pic related, my favorite gun that was taken away by the great state of commiefornia (for my safety)
>>25639664 actually you've summarised my logic perfectly.
>Did you try getting on your knees, bowing your head, and saying yes, i think i did. maybe just not hard enough.
another problem is that no matter how hard i beg, God won't help me if i don't ask for help not only with my prayers, but also with actions. so what's the point if i pray for him to help me stop masturbating, and then 10 minutes later i go on and masturbate even with the voice of conscience in my head telling me to stop. idk, maybe im not motivated enough.
It should be easy enough to reconcile. View it as sexual hygiene. I mean butts are gay but you still wipe after you shit right? So desexualize fapping like you did ass wiping. Just focus on the good feels instead of thinking on l00ds and cum, you're just getting the cum out just like wiping is getting the shit out. Excretion is just as valid a need as any other physical needs like gas and energy.
>>25639559 you are okay, there's nothing wrong with being a virgin, in fact you should be happy! sex is not that important in life, in fact, it can just take you away from what life's really about, so just be happy, do what you want, live like no tomorrow,love everyone, pray every day and don't worry about sex or even romance, because it will come eventually!
I've joined the normies and have found a romantic interest. Problem is she lives in another state, and as of now I currently have no job and can't drive. While we do skype every night and she reassures me that we'll get through this and work towards an end goal, I still cloud myself with self doubts. It just sucks because she's the perfect girl for me. She motivates me to get my life on track. But having physical interaction happens only when I save up what little cash I have to buy a plane ticket to see her. Sometimes I feel like I'm not good enough for her, and it eats away in my soul. I do love her though, I just don't know how long I can keep up with this long distance thing. Never in a million years would I have thought to do anything long distance. Tell me anon, should I keep going with her even if it'd take me years to get to a stable point to where I can see her in person for the rest of my life?
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