Who here /just plain sad/? Post in this thread if you're

I'm so tired of running away from everyone.

>>25633889
I know that feeling anon. I'm sorry.

>>25633889
>>25633902
jesus just man the fuck up lmao
no idea why everyone is sad all the time haha

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>>25633922
Good post, good trolling, you really are a funny dude.

>>25633872
so fucking sad tonight.

>have people who say they love me
>have a gf
>never felt so alone

don't know what to do anymore. I keep trying, but at the end of it all I'm always just left feeling so alone. what I wouldn't give for that to change.

>>25633872
just plain sad fits I guess. Not an hero. Not why even live. Not tfw no X. Not manlet.

I just find myself crying everyday for some reason. Been like that for weeks now. Being NEET about muh NEETdom, and suddenly... hot man tears. #Justplainsad

>>25634624
why are you NEET? study for CCNA. get job.

>it's gonna be that e-z
>you'll be happier

I'm sad because I needed love, found it then lost it. I don't know if I'll find it again.

>gf of 1.5 been done since Dec 11
>binge drinking and binge hyde/xanex
>last 2 weeks have been nothing but alcohol fueled sex binge with numerous hookers and whores
>feel lil better knowing I can get bitches relatively easy
>but god damn do I still hurt.

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>>25633872
>don't like how I look
>broke up with who I thought was the love of my life 3 months ago, shit turns nasty real quick, she's been giving me hell
>for a while it didn't matter because I was rebounding
>my rebound was a stripper with amazing boobs and a cute face and amazing cuddles but she was just really...mean. And as things went on, she took longer and longer to reply to me (like entire days), until one day after seeing her I never text her at all and she hasn't text me either.
>miss having someone
>feel too ugly/ low self-esteem to find anyone else
>my jaw is a bit fucked up in that it never really grew the correct way. I'm unsure if I'm ever going to be able to fix it. People say I look fine and they can't notice overbite etc but I obsess over it.
>estranged from my parents for years, my mother was awful, I did like my father though but the last words he said to me when I tried to talk to him about how bad my mother had treated me my whole life (witnessed by countless others in the family and family friends, yet he turned a blind eye cos he's majorly cucked) "you'll never tear me and your mother apart" So I said "you'll never see me again". That was almost 2 years ago. He's been trying to get in contact but for me it's just too late for him to start acting like a afther to me (I'm 27).

>feels ugly and unloved
>feels like i'm cursed to never find anybody
>become violent when sad
>no one likes me
>everything is shit

>Be in love with this girl for 5 years
>5 years of my life I spent obessing over her, being stuck in the friendzone
>finally get out of the friendzone
>literally the best moment of my life
>She was everything I wanted in a woman
>we talk every day, she's really into me
>One day she stops texting me
>ask her what's up
>tells me "I found someone better"

I've been drunk or high everyday since then. I just want someone to love me the way I loved her. I just want to be better, but I'll never be good enough for her or anyone else

additonally

>scrolling through facebook
>other ex gf is out partying tonight
>chad is gonna dick her down
>meanwhile im drunk at home alone

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>>25633960

dont know if it applies to you, but pic related is why I feel alone.

>tfw afraid of never being taken seriously ever

>>25634832

idk if this will make you feel better at all? but i'm a girland i really love the way fucked up/uneven jaws look. it's super cute

>>25634948
yes. thank you. I feel a little less alone because now I know there is someone else very similar to me dealing with the same issues.

I can never communicate the things that are important to me. I try so hard but no one understands. The world and I speak 2 different languages, and it's frustrating because they're so close that sometimes I think people get me and I get people. With time I realize nobody around me understands me and I have never understood anyone around me.

>>25635071
Aw. Thank you, did make me feel better. Even if my jaw is a bit fucked, I kind of like having a bum chin at least.

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I am. I wake up tired after sleeping for 8 or more hours. Sometimes I go a long time with very little sleep. I hardly eat. I work and try to do a decent job and come home to sit on my computer, eat junk food, drink soda and waste my life. I'm not in school. I live with my father. My new car that I was really happy to have (I like to drive around the city at night and listen to music, helps me relax and feel like I can get away from all this) was hit by a deer and tore up. Right now the girl I love and my best friend, her boyfriend, are together cuddled up. I'm involved in a fucked up love triangle in which I'm the outsider. It's a complicated situation in which there is no good way out, but when it comes time I will be the one to cut contact, like I did before when they first got together. They won't like it but the situation is killing me.

Nothing is interesting or exciting to me. I don't really want to do anything or be anything. I have no goals, drive, ambition or motivation.
I just don't want to live anymore. I wish I'd never been born. I'm not close to my parents, who are my only family, and the people I call friends are only still called such because I've known them for so long. I've let every chance in my life pass by because I was too afraid of failure to bother trying, and I regret it immensely now.

I just want the feeling of emptiness and loneliness to stop. I'm too melancholic, bitter and afraid to make it anywhere in this world. I consider suicide a lot more these days. I don't want to live anymore.

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>>25633872
There's so much going wrong there's no point in typing it all out. Can someone be nice to me but in that half mean sorta way? Otherwise it'll be uncomfortable.

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You know I've been thinking for the last half hour or so about the fact that I've been visiting this site for almost nine years, and in those years I've lurked and on occasion left a decent reply but rarely have I offered any meaningful input or had a true heart-to-heart with other anons who post here. This may not mean much to you robots but the many times that I've come across a post or thread of someone describing how sad/depressed they are I try my best to keep them in my thoughts, and on the rare occasion that I end up praying before I fall asleep, I'll pray for some of you. If you're the kind of robot who's family and friends have distanced themselves from you and you are really, truly alone tonight, please just remember that someone out there is thinking about you. I may not know your whole life story, and I may not have constant contact with you, but regarding what you share with me and for what it's worth, I care about a lot of you.

tfw been depressed since I could remember.
I've been this way since at least age 10 I'm 21 now, I don't even know why anymore. everything is just numb to me as its always been, and im just very calm as always. Now I've gained more weight, and pretty much sealed my fate again.

>>25633872
cuz no pass

>nothing is fun anymore
>Just living is tedious and difficult
>lonely
>anxiety
>financial problems
>hate my job
>grad school is barely endurable

>>25635492
I think we must have something broken inside of us. I don't know how people can see so much joy in the world. Do you have a family history of mental illness too?

I've just been that one weird guy that's always by himself ever since freshmen year of high school. I don't understand why I'm like this.

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>dumb as shit
>dont find anything fun anymore
>games and movies and stuff just pass the time
>everyday is the same

I'm just so lonely, robots. It pains me to have no one to share my interests with. I sit in my room engrossed in something and have fun by myself, but as soon as I leave my room it all turns to nothing.

No one to get excited with. No one to share new things with. No one to revisit the old "boring" things with. No one to learn with. No one.

How do I cope with this? I hope to find like-minded people in grad school, but even then I'm a socially anxious quiet person who has trouble opening up on the best days.

Starting second quarter at college. Still no friends and my feelings towards my roomamtes have gone from tolerance to annoyance

>>25635471
you're a cool dude

gyoaghadnelf

I am sad because I feel like I have a bad relationship with my dad. It's not all his fault, but it's not all my fault either. The only time he talks to me is when I am doing poorly (failing) in a class, and then it is just criticism. I only time I talk to him is when I need to. I love him and I know he loves me, but the situation makes me sad and I know it makes him sad too.

>>25633889
what is worse: running away or pushing everyone away?

I wish I had spend more time with my parents.

>>25635546
Just schizophrenia in both my mother, and fathers side or so I've heard.
Their is no joy in the world, any joy I do find I quickly realize it won't last, and theirs no point to it.

I'm sad because I don't love my mother and can't have a functional relationship with any women. I'm sad because the love of my life has been stolen away from me by her normie friends and I know she's better off for it. I'm sad because I'm a sad, miserable person.

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I'm sad because of Redditors taking out screencaps for internet points. i only care because it brings more of them here. The post about the dude that got cucked by his dad has 800,000 views on imgur already. The worst thing is we can do nothing about it.

Mom hates me for being physically and mentally unwell. Blames me for my younger siblings not doing good at school (I'm 18 btw). I can't do anything, I'm a bed-ridden loser waiting to die, and it makes me unbearably sad. I wish I could kill myself but the only method available to me is jumping off a building, which I don't want to do for a number of reasons.

I'm sad because alcohol does nothing anymore

>>25635577
I feel you anon.

When I was in college, one of my lecturers came up to me in the library while I was working on and assignment and expressed concern because I "was always on my own." And she assigned someone in the class to "look out for me" and be my friend. Made me feel worse to be honest, I was 22 then, it was demoralizing because I didn't really think I stood out as having a problem, just kind of kept to myself.

I eventually made more friends and one of the popular girls took a likeing to me when we had a clinical placement together. We ended up in a share house together with some other people from class, and we were all friends. Girl and I started dating, she was fucking hot. But one day I saw a message, her friend (someone I thought was my friend too, who hung out with us and seemed to post a lot to my facebook, interact a lot with me) told her that she didn't "get" our relationship, and that I was "weird."

It really cut me to the core, and I haven't got over it even years later. Even still, that other girl was with me for another year or so after that (2 years in total). To console me when her friend said that, she said "you know you're weird. You're my little weirdo, there's nothing wrong with that." It helped a bit because she was quite insightful for a neurotypical normie.

Anyway, I have digressed but the apex of all that was that being called "weird" feels like such a hurtful thing even if we know we arent like other people.

>>25635833
Same here. I just drink and drink until I pass out and feel shit the next day. Still can't stop though... no buzz anymore.

>>25635715
Not schizophrenia, but depression on both sides going back to the 19th century. Shit genes through and through.

>>25635833
>>25636007

mix it with benzos

>>25636070
my tolerance is so high not even valium or clonazepam do jack for me. I think I'd be a hell of a patient to anesthetize.

>>25636070
But I don't want to die yet

>>25636066
We're fucked some how some way. Best thing I've ever done in life is just stop caring, but apparently people get mad when your apathetic so if you wanna blend in you have to laugh every so often.
I fucking hate laughing with a passion, but its become a habit now to laugh even when I don't want to so now people think I'm one jolly motherfucker.

I'm starting to get really lonely, I have no friends IRL and I've lost who I thought were my new circle of online friends now.

Basically there was this girl that treated me all nice and we talked all day, and I thought that meant we were pretty good friends. I made friends with her friends as well and I had entered their "circle". Well turns out the girl actually doesn't care much for me and she stopped talking as much to me after a bit. After feeling like I lost a really good friend, I went and vented to some people. My choice of words was probably a bit poor, but I certainly didn't have any malicious intent, and venting actually helped me accept things.

Well, she kinda found out because one of the people I talked to actually felt kinda similar to how I did and went and tried to intentionally tell her hurtful things. She forgave the guy next day but as for me, it's been like 2 weeks and she still doesn't talk to me unless necessary and there's no signs of friendship at all.

As for who I thought were my new "circle" of friends, they don't really talk to me at all either. I'm not in bad terms with them, but if the girl is with them, which is most of the time, I won't really get included in anything and all I can do is watch them have fun and enjoy themselves while I feel like a lonely piece of crap.

Some would think it's pathetic to care so much about online things, but I've been alone for way too long IRL. Online is the only place where I can have friends, or so I thought. I really thought these people were nice, and talking with them helped distract me from how shit my life is.

I guess. Really, I just spend a lot of time thinking about all the mistakes I've made, all the ones I'm probably going to make and all the times I'll see that I'm about to make a mistake and then make it anyway.

I'm kind of a fucking mistake

I'm sad because I feel like no one listens to me

I'm "sad" because I fucking hate this shitty material world. The only way I can be "happy" is by conscious detachment to this nonsense.
Though I am an amazing actor, one of the best you'll see.

>>25633872
>Been getting steadily worse for the last 3 years
>No real reason, just my brain fucking my shit up
>Trying to control it, I have ups and downs but I've been down for months now
>Can feel the anxiety that was suposed to be gone appearing again, don't tell anyone but I'm losing control
>Obsessing over shit, lately it's my teeth. Really bad feeling, going back to childhood GAD anxiety
>Just generally feeling bad

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>>25634673
how tall are u

>>25636245
God, I know so well. All of my actions have to be filtered through my "normal filter", so people don't get skeeved out at how pessimistic I am. I wish there didn't have to be such a barrier between people.

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I'm sad because we're an accident. We're a biological accident in a stupid universe that is mechanical but has no finer feelings; a vast, pointless gyration of radioactive rocks and gas in which we happen to occur.

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all i want is a friend or someone i can talk to
i dont care about gfs

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>>25633872
I am sad because I threw away every opportunity in my life, because I never had anything resembling guidance. Then I just sort of gave up. Now nothing is the way I had ever dreamt it would be and I can't find any way of ever obtaining the things I once wanted most.

>>25633872
>have gf
>love each other
>so great together
>nameless sadness intrudes
>life can't let you be happy with anything

Told my crush of 2 months how I felt, told me she was asexual / aromantic so more or less she just doesn't like me. Just brutal las.

I am sad and I hate the robot.

>>25635204
Fuck, anon, hang in there. I have no advice to make it "better" but I know that you are there and I am here and I love you.

I just want more from life than I could ever hope to achieve. It just hurts knowing that even at my best I'll be a failure.

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>>25637049
Thanks. It means a lot that someone read and responded. I've been lurking this thread and I've read every post, and I just want to say I feel for all of you as well. I feel somewhat close to you all, and these sorts of threads are the ones that I still come to /r9k/ for. Honest, genuine talking about how we all feel.

I don't know what to say that won't sound cliche and completely meaningless from me, but I guess the best I've got is I genuinely hope for the best for you guys.

>>25637157
Godspeed, anon. I wish the best for you as well.

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>Start talking to a femanon
>She deletes me after I tell her i'm not a virgin

Not being a virgin doesn't make me any less of an autist.
I don't want to be alone anymore. I feel like i'm going insane. My mind gets cloudier with each passing day.

I just want someone to care about, and who cares about me. It has to be a woman because I have mother issues. I wish I could be gay, it seems easier.

>>25637157
I don;t know how I could stand such a thing. I may not be competent enough to get what I want out of life, but at least I have something to strive for, even though my inability to reach such goals only drives me to sadness.

I hope you find something, man.

>>25637403
I've been feeling the same way for quite a while, anon.
It's rough.

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Found out the girl I've been interested has been diabocally planning to beat the shit out of me with her friends on our first date. Oh and also found out she has a boyfriend that wants to join in too.

>>25637503
Why would anyone want to do such a thing?

>>25637503
you know what must be done.
Learn your weapon laws, and see what you can legally do.
I had the same shit happen to me and my friend. Funny how a knife in the stomach changes people

>>25637546
Her boyfriend was a friend of mine that turned bitter towards me, and she's one of his close friends

>>25637621
how could he possibly have "turned bitter" to the point of wanting to fucking beat you up

>>25637503
come on then anon, what did you do to deserve this?

Finally got out of the house, joined the army, in the best shape I've ever been in.
But I'm still absolutely terrified of socializing.
So I'm in the barracks alone.

>>25637736
I'd be terrified of socializing with soldiers too, no offense.

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>last year, 21
>finally get gf, first one ever, my first everything, fall madly in love with her
>6 fucking months later she dumps me
>still feel sad about her even though I havent seen since last xmas and she was a giant cunt who Im much better off without
>despite this I still feel a hole she left in my heart because I truly loved her and she just threw it away simply "because"
>decide "fuck this" and get fit, groom myself, and get a better wardrobe
>since then I havent been with anyone else, not even one date and not from lack of trying
>have attempted to ask out numerous women since then, lost count of how many but was rejected by all of them
>the few that didnt reject me turned out to be bitches
>no interest in casual flings or fuck buddies, only want a committed monogamous relationship
>one never contacted me again after making plans to hang out, another turned out to be a raging alcoholic, the next was a raging whore, and one became crazy obsessed after talking on the phone once
>most recent one hurt the most though
>girl Ive known for a year or two, never really talked to finally starts chatting me up at a family/friends xmas get together
>feel a decent connection with her but I keep my guard up
>keeps talking to me, seems interested, laughs at all my stupid jokes, touches me when we're talking, always wants to hang out and smoke weed together
>start to like her a bit and let my guard down for one fucking second despite the few redflags I see
>turns out she has an on and off boyfriend who's 10 years older than her and when asked about it she just says "its complicated"
>keeps asking me to hang out
>get angry because i know she just wants me as a beta orbiter
>get confused because i wonder if I'm wrong and shes genuine
>get angry again because i keep going out with her hoping im wrong and that shes a genuine human who actually likes me

I just want someone to love me for me is that so goddamn much to ask for?

Share some sad music with me friends

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My girlfriend is coming home from the mental hospital later today and if I'm being honest I don't want her to come back at all.

I don't even know if I'm sad

>>25637756
Soldiers are actually the only people I get along with, we at least have common ground.
Civilians are the terrifying ones

I'm tired boring everyone to death. i just i'm boring i can't help it

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I literally don't want to do anything. It's all a pain. I didn't ask for this.

>>25633872
I played a VN that made me really sad today.
I was told it would be kinda fucked up, but damn ;_;

>>25635471

This matters a lot to me. I would like to be your friend.

>have female friend
>hang out with her, over time all other friends become her beta orbiters
>she and I get in argument
>now friendless

Why am I sad now

>>25637835
I can understand that if you're already a soldier or have a military family or something. Civilians can certainly be scary.

>>25637862
Muv-Luv Alt?

>>25637954
Fate/Stay Night.

>>25637961
Which route was it anon?
Heaven's feel got to me.

>>25637756
there's more of us on here than you think

>Asian immigrant
>white country
>going to die alone here

>>25638086
Which country are you from, and where did you move to?

I only ever fell in love with someone once, and it turned out she has a boyfriend of many years. So I figured cutting her off entirely would be less painful then hanging around pretending to be complacent with our friendship. If anyone needs someone to rant to, I'll be here for at least the next hour to bounce thoughts off of.

>>25637984
Heaven's feel -> true ending
why ilya ;_;

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>>25638129
Similar situation as you, I'm >>25637774

Tough shit, bro

>>25638108
From Malaysia, to the UK. English is fine but with a god-awful accent

>>25638144
That entire route was an emotional rollercoaster.
I highly recommend the muvluv series. starting with muvluv extra into unlimited, than doing alternative.
Even now when I hear this it still fucks me up.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w5JICa_ZxBk

>>25633872
I just kind of wish I was dead like all the time. I sleep like 13 hours a day, less time for loneliness. I want to self-terminate but I know it would destroy my mother, that's about the only thing that keeps me going. When she passes away, I guess I'll see what happens.

>>25638194
>UK
I'm so sorry for you.

>>25638214
After i finish everything in the Type-moon franchise, ill start with that,

>>25638173
Damn that makes me so much more enraged that she's dating someone a decade older as well. And yeah both situations are awful, we will overcome though. Its better off to just take the pain now and get it over with than to let ourselves get dragged through the mud waiting for something that won't happen.

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My gf of about a year dumped me and then a few weeks later told me she had moved on to someone else, and though it would be better that I heard it off her as opposed to somebody else.

>>25638287
Yeah it's pretty shitty. It's a really weird situation all together though, I mean the guy's 33, she's 23 but she leads him around by the nose and he is a total beta pussy. He's a nice guy, I've met him a couple times but he's extremely quiet and she's always bossing him around, it's just odd.

But yeah you're totally right. Even if it were to happen with that particular girl, in your situation or mine, it would just be a fucked up relationship because you and I both know these types of women and it'd be fucking doomed from the start.

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>>25638345
Dude, what a bitch, she's literally just doing that to rub it in your face that she's got someone else

No one would blame you if you killed her, anon

>>25635608
Fuck. I feel that, anon. The only way I've found to cope with it is by letting go of my own interests and hanging out with other people, doing what they like, basically just going with it. But it kinda leaves you wondering who the fuck you are. Especially when you have to mould your opinions based on theirs because you want to fit in.

Today would have been the first time I would have had a girl over.

Had everything set up, shit was going to be great, would have lost my virginity but she bailed. Didn't even give me a reason, just not tonight. Do women just not give a fuck?

>>25638455
A guy did that to me once, I honestly don't get it at all but whatever. Since we got along great, I've resigned to the thought that he decided I'm too ugly for him

>>25635608
I am the same.
If video games are one of your interests and you want to talk: steamcommunity.com/id/Amadeus72

>>25638500
You still talk to the guy? If he's keeping you around you're probably his backup option then. Or he's a whiny bitch who needs you to listen to his feelings.

>>25635608
christ, this hit a little too close to home for me.
Just know you're not alone in feeling this hard feel, anon.

>>25637845
Or maybe you're just hanging out with shitty people. I used to think I was boring as fuck because I literally could not hold a conversation but when I met the right people, we found common ground easily and I couldn't stop talking. Go out, dude. You're not boring.

>>25638541
Nah, I hit him up a couple of times thinking that maybe I had fucked up somehow and tried to fix things, but when I realised he doesn't give a fuck I cut him off.

>>25638571
This. You're purposely secluding yourself with these people. If they find you boring you clearly had nothing in common. Ghost these people and stick with people you entertain. You have nothing to lose because you were just an acquaintance in the first place.

I was recently diagnosed with a disease that will prohibit me from being able to finish college, get a job, or live any kind of life that I was hoping to live.

I can't find anything in life that interests me or keeps my attention.

I think the worst part is that I'm not very sad about it. I seem to have found myself in a constant state of apathy.

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Maybe two months ago at the start of uni i got along great with a girl from the same major. In the introductionary week of my uni i always talked to her and i thought things went great personally. In the first few weeks of uni i still talk to her and again everything went great. After a couple of days we watched a movie together and had dinner at her place. I got sick by the end of the movie and vomited in her toilet. I left and she felt sorry for me. Most painful train ride back to my town i've ever had. Fast forward a week and i tell her there's a carnaval in my town and we should go together since it'll be fun. She agrees and we decide to go after classes in the afternoon. Again, i get sick and vomit. I didn't even make it past the campus. After that she got more and more distant with me, responded later to my texts and started talking less and less to me. Even to the point where she started to ignore my presence.
I don't get why she did this. Even though i don't talk to her anymore i still think about her everyday.

Yeah man, I am sad. I've been sad so long I don't even remember why anymore.

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>>25633872
I feel like I have some potential but I simply can't get to it. I just waste time all day playing vidya, watching movies and lurking. I have no close friends and I don't know what I'm good at or what I enjoy, since I always get bored/tired of anything I'm interested in.

Pic related.

>>25638670
I know that feel, anon. It got to the point where it feels wrong when I'm happy. Like there's something fake, or missing. I'm not even sure it bothers me, it's become part of my personality

>>25633872
I have a disease, it's called heroin addiction. I want to stop but I can't. Everyone tells me to stop like it's a switch I can flip. I've resolved to quit many times but every morning when I awake and the withdrawal begin to set in, I run to the dope like a good boy that I am. It's as if something overcomes my thoughts and controls me. If God doesn't save me I'll lose everything or die.

>>25635348
Oddly enough for this board, I don't like being mean, I hope it's cool if I stick to being nice. Feel like talking about a few of the things that are going wrong? Or at least mentioning if it's girls, family, personal problems or whatever. Maybe we can relate and be sad together

>>25638720
When I turned 17, about a junior in high school, a friend of mine shot himself the same day. That coupled with a shitty home life snow balled into what I am today. I had to wait until I moved out to get any help because my parents, both nurses, refused to believe me when I told them I thought something was wrong.

>>25638789
Don't you have anyone who could help you? With more than just words, I mean. Trainspotting-like, where the guy's parents locked him in his room (and tied him to the bed, I think). I've never been through it but from what you and others have said, I doubt it's something you can pull off on your own.

>>25638822
I'm in my last year of high school and it's the same thing, shitty home life + parents refusing to listen and putting lots of pressure on me for irrelevant shit. I guess the only thing to do is wait until I move out. How is your relationship with your parents now?

>>25638615
You don't happen to be in uni in Amsterdam right?

>>25634648
You will, if you let go of the past.

>>25634885
I used to feel like nobody liked me too, but it was more due to anxiety and my own paranoia. I know it sounds like a shitty motivational cliche that your mom would share on facebook, but I swear that things get better when you have a more positive mindset. I mean, hell, I'm still depressed as fuck when I get home, but at least I can socialise like a normal human being when I go out.

No friends, last time I had friends was when I had a qt grill in my first year of high school. Since then lifes gone downhill majorly

>>25634943
Don't get stuck in the past, man. It's no good. You'll find someone else. If she gave up on you that easily, she wasn't worth it.

>>25638873
They moved to Florida and I stayed in Missouri for college. I try to avoid talking to my stepfather because of other stuff that also went down, but I still am pretty chill with my mother. They're pretty much opposites, my mom being understanding for the most part and my stepdad being a total dick, the thing is my mom is afraid of him so she just goes with whatever he says.

>>25634948
fuck, that hit home

>>25638922
>I used to feel like nobody liked me too, but it was more due to anxiety and my own paranoia
I used to think this way, but then after not being paranoid and being able to handle socializing more I still always ended up being the odd man out, the third wheel, and never really getting invited to anything by anyone. Ended up with no friends again. Haven't really given it another try since then.

>>25638887
nope. I'd like to though lmao

File: 1419890348929.jpg (138KB, 640x740px) Image search: [Google]

138KB, 640x740px

Sometimes I feel like I can handle what life is throwing at me. School seems interesting and exercising is fun and I'm not so averse to socializing every so often. Then other times I hate school and I just want to be alone and do nothing all day long. I don't talk to my friends and all my games are boring and my family irritates the shit out of me and I just want to leave everything

I have goals but sometimes they feel like too much to work towards. I've got dreams but some days I realize that it doesn't really matter what I'm working for because it still won't make me happy

I don't know what I need in my life to make me whole. Jobs are pointless and the only reason I need money is so I don't starve and so I can distract myself with useless shit until I die, I feel like I can't have a genuine connection and understanding with another human being, and I'm hopelessly pessimistic and sardonic

I just wish I didn't have these cycles. For a few weeks I'll feel like a new man who can take on the world and I think I'm leaving all my old thoughts and habits behind, and then one day it all comes crashing down and I have to start picking up the pieces all over again. I'm just a hamster on a fucking wheel going absolutely nowhere and I'm sick of it

>>25638972
Do you have any Internet friends? You know, the kind you spend hours with on Skype playing vidya and talking about shit. It's pretty cool and it helps. I still feel like the odd one out but I don't give a fuck anymore honestly, I just try to have a good time nevertheless

>>25639010
I used to. Eventually I lost that social outlet, too. To be honest, I don't know that online friends would cut it anymore.

>>25638831
I've gotten clean in the past. I was clean for 3 years and I had such zeal for life. Now that I slipped back into it, I just can't stop. Like the shame from relapsing in the first place and comparison of my current mental status to the one I used to have tells me that it's impossible. I've been to numerous detox places. I just came back from Washington like 3 months ago where I was clean for a month and a half prior to 3 years of usage following the 3 years of sobriety.

Trainspotting, in my opinion, is the most accurate representation of heroin addiction movie wise. But you only tie someone down if you want them to rage(because it's impossible to be still during an opiate withdrawal) themselves into insanity and drown in their own pool of diarrhea and vomit.

All the people that have numerous times tried to help me have given up on me.

>>25639004
Fuck, I feel this. I feel like having something I genuinely enjoy doing would get me out of this shitty cycle. Or someone by my side who really cares.

Fuck, this thread makes me want to talk to everyone and try to help everyone out. I thought mabye having a chat to share feelings in would help, since this thread will 404 soon. Join if you feel like it. tlk dot io slash sadnons

>>25636705
This
My brain upgrades according to my achievements in life, so that I will never be happy. If there is no plausible excuse to be sad (social rejection, tfw no gf, virgin etc) I'll just be sad for no reason.
Great

>>25638680
Pic painfully accurate

>>25639094
I think that way too but when the bad parts of the cycle hits it doesn't matter what I enjoyed or thought was important during the good parts. Nothing matters to me at that point, and having somebody that's important to me see this happen would probably destroy me desu. When it gets bad I isolate myself and retreat here without fail. Longest I've been away must have been almost a year

It never stops though

>>25639248
It's a nice thought but some people are beyond help through just talking. I've talked and thought with tons of people and none of them were able to help no matter how bad they wanted to

Some people are just beyond saving

>>25637789
Woods of Desolation--the inevitable end
Or anything DSBM.