>develop intense crush on a girl working in the same office complex
>gradually convince myself that I have a chance if I ask her out
>post on /lit/ asking for some advice for a letter I was going to give her
>they tell me I'm autistic and creepy [https://warosu.org/lit/thread/S7470428]
>decide not to hand it to her
>first day of wagecvckery after holidays
>panic because she doesn't turn up for three days
>turns out she had a cold or some shit
>heart fucking pounds when I see her making coffee with her female coworker
>walking home in heavy rain from viewing an apartment to rent
>passing an upscale restaurant
>see her in line wearing qt high heels and looking FUCKING AMAZING
>a tall, fashionable as fuck guy is with her
>he touches the base of her back to usher her inside
>she holds back the hair behind one of her ears and smiles at him
>pass by hoping she didn't see me and think I was stalking
>cry all the way home
I am so close to suicide. The idea of living another year makes me nauseous. I am too weak and pathetic to exist.
I don't like getting drunk. I feel so pathetic. All these months I've been telling myself that she is curious about me some days, even to the point of being convinced she was attracted to me a little bit. I feel so stupid and naive for even letting myself think that. How the fuck are suicide statistics so low? How the fuck can people maintain a positive perception of their life? I literally do not understand what the appeal of life is, other than feeling somewhat proud that I continue to endure it.
If you feel miserable then change something. You're not going to magically get happier if you're doing the same pathetic shit every day. Forget the females. Nobody wants to love a person that doesn't even love themselves.
I feel I give the impression to others that I'm mentally well-balanced and content with my life, I don't really act depressed or anything around other people. Also I am content with my own company and haven't been bored in years, and I have my own ambitions etc, but really when I saw this girl's eyes when she asked me something it was like noticing her again for the first time. I don't believe in magic or "the one" etc but really nothing in life impacts me that way any more, it really overwhelmed me.
I explained in the /lit/ thread why it was difficult to be direct, because of the context. The office I work in is super quiet and she only comes in around two or three times a day to print something or make coffee. Being as quiet as I am it would be obvious I was attracted to her if I spoke to her, and everybody would know it. Which is why I thought a letter might be a good idea, but obviously not. Also I'm not being self-pitying or whatever but I really don't feel I have much to offer her, in the sense that I have no friends, and my hobbies and personal ambitions don't involve having to be around others. I feel like talking to her at all will be like inflicting myself on her.
I don't want to meet people online. I know beggars can't be choosers but I like the idea of being attracted to someone in person and getting to know them rather than shopping in a supermarket of faces so to speak. If I continue to be alone because of this I accept it.
>tell people you are depressed
>they treat you like shit, harass you for not being as good as them, how you must be such an evil selfish monster for not being happy like them
>or just lie
After 5+ years of being treated like shit I just lie every moment of every day. Any time I'm honest about how I feel people stop being friendly and try to never see me again.
>mfw he has the same attitude towards meeting people online
>mfw he also alone beacuse of this
i feel you anon
if i can't pluck up the courage personally, i'm not gonna do it online
I don't enjoy videogames.
That's unfortunate. I dodge the question and joke around in a self-depricating way at times to avoid lying. I did get drunk at the Christmas party with my workplace and when a guy and two girls said "what are we going to do about your love life?" jokingly and started asking questions etc I just ended the conversation by saying (drunkenly) that I doubt I'd be able to find a girl who is as depressed as I am. I felt like a faggot for saying it but I was drunk. I was asked again last week "are there any girls in your life?" when people were talking about their boyfriends, and I said "not that I know of" and smiled like a beta mouse and they half-laughed and moved on.
We grasp it just fine, it's the normies who need to realize this and give better advice. Especially when they're talking to kids; I'd wager a large percent of robots could have been normies if their behavior had been corrected at a young age instead of being allowed to "be themselves."
>I need a gf to prevent me from committing suicide.
You should have put that in your letter.
Or you could get your shit together, learn social skills, stop being a timid passive beta, and talk to other girls.
You have a job, you (presumably) have your own place or at least don't live in a wank cave in your mum's house. I wish I fucking had that.
Also dating someone at work is a fucking stupid idea.
Try reading this, maybe it'll help
But what if I haven't expressed any affection towards her that might suggest to her that I'm both attracted to her but also afraid to do anything about it? The more attracted I've become to her the more effort I've made to pretend not to notice her. She asked me if an older guy on my floor (the complex manager) had been in work yet and I maintained a neutral facial expression and said he hadn't and she was smiling as I answered in a way that I still remember lucidly. But then I accept that a lot of girls just smile a lot and generally like that and not to delude myself as a result. It was weird to ask me that since it was obvious the guy hadn't been in yet, but I didn't and don't know what to make of it. On friday I was actually looking forward to working again next monday and I still am looking forward to seeing her on monday, despite the fact I hate my job and so on. I am cvcked on various levels, it's like a parody or something.
Don't ever commit suicide based on a crush. It's bad enough to an hero over a lost love that you actually once had a relationship, but one you never had to begin with? Who knows, someday you might still get her.
How should I express my attraction towards her?
She seems like a quiet person (compared to most girls, and based on her disposition in the workplace) and seems serious or busy a lot of the time. I was thinking of saying "happy new year" to her this week but by the time she arrived back in work I thought the time had passed for that to be normal. I really think my best option might be to to consciously stop myself thinking of her and looking at her and reminding myself that she exists.
>and hope they learn how to function normally. And most do.
There's a difference between "a little shy" and "obvious robot". You can tell which kids are going to be beta bitchboys easily, and those are the ones you need to correct.
>Tell your faggot kid he's just fine the way he is
>He stays a faggot and doesn't reproduce
>Tell your faggot kid the specific ways he should change his personality, without being too harsh about it
>He might be less of a faggot and become attractive to women and live a satisfying life
HMM WHICH DO I CHOOSE
I found your suggestion humorous, and though I realize that the sentiment expressed in it appears to reflect my mentality and so on I don't think it does. I mean I haven't had a girlfriend since 2002 and most of the time I'm ok with that.
You don't. She obviously has a boyfriend who is taller than you and richer than you (he took her out to a fancy restaurant), and women never, EVER want to downgrade. Continuing to think about her is setting yourself up for failure.
Furthermore, the nature of your posts leads me to believe you have more than a touch of the 'tism, so you probably aren't going to be attractive to any women at all, since they all like the same type of man and that man isn't you. It's good that you found /r9k/ though, this is where we cope with being evolutionary failures.
I don't think the appeal suicide currently has to me is only based on the fact my convictions have been revealed as delusions and fantasy. I just feel that all my life has amounted to thus far is the fact that I am incapable of living a happy, contented life and incapable of appreciating human company and many other things that make the lives of other people worthwhile. In the past year or so I've researched monasteries, rental homes on remote islands and in remote rural regions, and looked into every kind of isolated job I can find in order to allow me to pretty much commit suicide without having to harm my body or my mind. I've become a total anhedonic, and the only pleasure I feel comes in the form of a passing relief from my unhappiness and persistent suffering.
Yeah, it's all over. You never had a chance, sorry. You should just thank god that /lit/ convinced you not to send that letter. That would have been so fucking embarrassing for you. A grown man sending a love letter to a co worker? That would've been some brutal future cringe for you. You're too shattered right now to appreciate it, you but you escaped a close call with some grade A cringe, and possibly even sexual harassment problems at work.
I've never understood robots. What kind of jackass lets himself become this emotionally attached to a girl he's not dating, let alone never talks to. Like you have to be developmentally challenged and caught in a perpetual 13 year old mindset to have this kind of "crush" shit happen.
Yo OP. If you're there, and serious, I have an offer for you. A few times I've acted as what I call an "Amateur Therapist" for people on r9k.
My process is that I basically ask you questions about your life and what is going on for an hour, and give you room to talk, explain and explore yourself. There isn't anything more to it than that. I don't give advice, I don't ask for personally identifying information, I don't judge.
A few people have found it helpful for them. If you're interested, say so, and I'll post my Skype. We talk by audio (not text) and, like I said, it goes for an hour.
Let me know if you are interested.
Killing yourself over a girl is the faggiest thing you can do. Just embrace hedonism and enjoy the simple life. Play good vidya, watch good movies, smoke good tree, take long hot showers, learn to make amazing home cooked meals, join a gym and go every other day.
Life can be good robots, if you just forget about women.
if it makes you feel better eventually we all just die and rot in the ground
>just go and be a Chad to her
>but I want to have a relationship with her
>well nothing else works you faggot fuck off
That guy needs to just give her the letter. LITERALLY there is NOTHING she could do to get him in trouble.
>I've never understood robots.
>Like you have to be developmentally challenged and caught in a perpetual 13 year old mindset to have this kind of "crush" shit happen.
Why contradict yourself? You just understood it? I feel like a 10 year old and I'm 24.
Once again: the answer is apathy.
Happiness isn't love, or friendships, or being fulfilled in your work, or anything of the sort. True happiness for people like us is being completely empty and apathetic. Believe me.
>Nobody wants to love a person that doesn't even love themselves.
I hate this stupid fucking normie meme. Only self-centered sociopaths love themselves. They can't love or be loved.
>OP sends letter
>girl starts "feeling uncomfortable" and calls daddy bossman for help
>OP gets "talked to" aka threatened
>OP feels nervous around the girl due to classical conditioning, like a dog that's been hit
>girl "still feels really uncomfortable" because OP gives her "rapey vibes" now
>OP gets fired
>OP cannot find a new office job in the area due to his reputation as a "creep", has to work in a warehouse
GREAT ADVICE ANON, YOU SHOULD WORK AS A COUNSELOR FOR THE "JUST FUCK MY SHIT UP" SCHOOL OF ROBOT REHABILITATION
This sounds like something a 14 year old would say after having his first girlfriend break up with him. Sure emotions aren't rational but allowing those emotions to develop to the point of sucidial thoughts after seeing a girl with another guy is pretty fucking irrational. Like instead of manning up and talking to her and getting rejected like a normal man would OP became obsessive in watching this girl and entertaining his own fantasy of dating her without ever even talking with her. its so damn childish and self serving of a mentality that I can't pity OP one bit.
OP here. I accept this and I appreciate you for taking the time to post it, as it is useful to remind myself of this at times rather than allow time to pass hoping and wishing. I just feel that it's obvious that the power is in her hands in this situation, though I also realize that she may not be able to think of a way to talk to me either. But one of her coworkers is a tall, confident guy around the same age as we are and though I don't think they're dating I can tell they're close and from the same socio-economic background. I know it's an insecurity thing on my part but I just feel it would appear so pathetic for me to imply to her that I feel she and I are in the same category of attractiveness and so on. Also in 2014 a girl at a part-time job I was working at the time was attracted to me (rare) and asked our boss for my number and proceeded to set up a cinema date for us, so in the case me not asking her out (I wasn't really attracted to her, though she was conventionally "hot") did somehow pay off, but I accept it's rare.
No, this is just what attractive people say to ugly people to try to end the conversation, because the only thing left for the ugly person to do is waste years on "self improvement" as they get older and lose even more SMV. It's an easy out for the normie. For what it's worth, I'd prefer a girl with self-esteem issues because I could dominate her more easily, so that theory is BTFO.
>post on /lit/ asking for some advice for a letter I was going to give her
>they tell me I'm autistic and creepy
Well the bad news is you might have lost this one. I'd like to say you should move on but I know how hard it is to have to hold in all these feelings. The only way I know is put distance between you and her but since you work together that's not gonna happen. Stay strong anon.
The good news is that the fact a girl has gone to the length of getting your number proves you are at least of some interest to the opposite sex. Now if only there was a way to strengthen our hearts so we didn't fall in love with any girl that gives us attention.
Just go to the surgeon and get your dick and balls cut off OP.
Youll never have to deal with those feels again and on top of that youll be a free man. Free from the rules of nature and the rules of life itself.
oh man, i gave a girl a note once with some gay drawing on the back that i dont even remember what it was, but that shit happened in the 10th or 11th grade
to pull something like this after 16 years old is simply unfathomable