Do you ever wonder what it feels like to be loved back? I've imagined a lot about what it's like, but then I think to myself how artificial it all is, and then I'm left just as this cold, empty shell who must numb his emotions or otherwise die of crushing depression.
I keep lying to myself that I don't want to be loved and that I hate everyone else but this urge to be loved by someone keeps eating away at the nothingness of my insides.
Sorry to be all dramatic about it, but I know when day I'll break and I won't be able to hold it back anymore, and I have no idea what will happen then.
>I know when day I'll break and I won't be able to hold it back anymore, and I have no idea what will happen then
you'll either hurt yourself or someone else, possibly both
I hope that day never comes for us
>had a dream last night
>dreamt of a girl who was a female version of Lister from Red Dwarf
>twin plaits either side
>shes my gf
>never felt happier
>she walks into my house, says how happy she is to see me and says she loves me
>love her more than anything
>loud noise from outside
>realize its a dream
>heart aches like never before
I've had similar dreams six nights in a row now.
It's always me with a bunch of my friends hanging out, with one female friend being interested in me.
Then I wake up and realise I actually have no friends or people interested in me
>Do you ever wonder what it feels like to be loved back?
No because women actually loving someone apart from their children is a Hollywood fantasy.
Women are not looking for love, they are looking for a status object they can parade around, which is why money, fame and physical attractiveness are the things you need to get them.
I dunno anon, my roommate has a gf who seems like she really cares about him. They seem to have a lot of fun together. She even laughs out loud when he calls black people niggers, or uses the phrase 'chimp out'.
Yes, and that's because she finds him physically attractive and masculine and she realizes some benefit to being with him.
The moment she doesn't, she'll run away, regardless of whatever he does.
There was a psycho woman that had insane crush on me. I did not loved her back though she tried to force my feelings for her. She actually tried to make me feel responsible for her ('I love you so you are now responsible for me, anon!' bullshit). She also threatened to kill herself if I won't love her back.
I don't want to feel this again.
I don't know, society has made it so that it is very hard to give and receive love but very easy to give and receive hurt. When it is easier to get someone to fight you than it is to get someone to like you, what are we?
That is universally true for every single human interaction. You always want to, or do get something out of it, be it money/affection/sense of fulfilment or whatever else you could think of.
I have dreams like this frequently as well.
>Go to places with a girl I wish I had irl
>We do what my brain imagines normal people do on dates
>Have a good time (usually we're travelling in some place I've never been)
>About to kiss her
it's the worst fucking thing in the world.
Nothing will break anon. What are you talking about? I don't get it. There's nothing to break.
The worst part is the realization; you spent two or three semi-conscious seconds being really happy that you have this girl and then the realization dawns and it hurts more than anything else
>be in a relationship, girl tells me she loves me early on
>treats me a like a god, in her eyes I can do no wrong
>over the course of 2-3 days she turns cold
>girl showers me with compliments and shows much care and interest in me
>after her birthday sees me once then cuts all contact
I guess I was loved, but the way these things ended makes me doubt it and gives it a bitter taste.
Pretty much. Realizing that that the best time you had in years was all your subconscious thoughts playing tricks on your brain when you're asleep and waking up feeling lonelier than you were before when you forgot what it feels like to interact with women in a dating capacity. Hell, I don't even know what it feels like, the farthest I got was "talking" to a girl via text and it never lasted more than a month/month and a half before they realized I wasn't worth it and dropped me. My personal favorite is "I'm just not ready for a relationship right now", within 7 days or less they have a boyfriend. My ass you aren't ready, just don't be a bitch and tell me the truth that you don't fucking like me.
Hard to do that when you don't even know what it's like to be loved in the first place. I have a friend, but he only hangs out with me as a personal community project. I have family, but they all hate me and wish I'd just gtfo. I'm ugly as sin and as disgusting as a pile of shit, so no gf/bf. My whole life I've never known what it's like to have someone legit care for you and love you.
All I wonder is about his DEET NUTS jacket, I didn't even bother reading your thread message further than "Do you even wonder", probably some gay shit about feelings or the classic tfw no gf.