>>25585333 I honestly think any women referring to you as a friend means she likes you but will never see you as a potential partner. If she's calling you that upon meeting you, it seems she was able to come to a conclusion that you're not boyfriend material.
>>25585286 >tfw you get so fucking close to a chick >tfw you share everything >tfw you both like each other >tfw you realize it would never work >tfw you cant even be friends because you know so much about each other >tfw you never talk again
There is no friendzone, its a bit more complicated than that. There are many thigns we consider to be bf material, and maybe we are interested in you but you only meet half the requirements. You could be the nicest guy we know, but thats only a small part of our preference. Its no lie, we will look are your crotch to see your dicksize when you wear tight clothing and the sad fact is many of you just dont measure up, dont even get me started on the looks department. dont oversmiplyfy girls feelings it makes me REEEE
Not at all. I was best friends with this one dude for years. We were always really close homies, dated other people etc. Then we hooked up one day and started dating for like a year. We're not super close friends anymore but yah.
Idk, the friend zone isn't a real place. Like I'm not gonna stay friends with a guy I know likes me romantically because that would make me really uncomfortable. Plus then I couldn't talk to him about guy stuff, relationship problems, etc without him giving an extremely biased answer. And relationship advice is one of the best advantages to having a friend of the opposite gender imo
>>25585637 if he treated me with respect, but also with a 'take no nonsense' vibe, as in I know he is the LEADER. It wouldnt be enough to offer him a roast dinner ;) ;) but it would certainly lead to a relationship of some kind :)
>>25585658 >Like I'm not gonna stay friends with a guy I know likes me romantically because that would make me really uncomfortable.
This for me is the scariest part about my situation. The girl I want to be with is my best and only close friend. If I were to admit my feelings to her and be rejected I could lose her from my life. I'd rather suffer in silence and not be with her than not have her in my life at all.
>>25585700 Do you think there's any chance that she feels the same way? Like are you two ever flirty towards eachother? Because the best relationships tend to start as friendships. If there's any chance she might like you back, I say go for it. If not, model yourself after the guys she likes until she falls for you. Win her over anon. Have a good story for your children.
>Girl says, "Let's be friends." >Shrug and say, "Sure." >Seriously start treating her just like I would a friend. >Only start talking to her every once in a while. Start telling her off if she says something I don't like. Stop offering to take her to dinner. Complain to her if I feel like it. Play pranks on her. Can tell she's visibly enraged and confused. >She says, "Wait? Why did you change? Why are you acting like an asshole" >"This is how men are friends," I tell her, "Maybe you should try being one, like you said you wanted." >"Maybe this was a mistake." >"Damn fucking right you made a mistake." >Cut all contact.
Women don't even know what being friends means in the first place. If they were seriously treated like one they'd fucking shit the bed.
And honestly... doing exactly that drives off the worst of them.
The quickest way to beat a woman is give her exactly what she wants.
She didn't know what she wanted. I knew what I wanted. Pretty much she was afraid to grow up.
I have an amazing job am close to finishing my bachelors degree, my life is on track and moving fast. I didn't even care that she went to CC and was a wage slave. I just was sick of playing all her games.
>tfw more sad that you lost a potential friend then a potential relationship.
>>25585754 >Do you think there's any chance that she feels the same way? We've known each for 15 years. I thought there might have been a time when she liked me but that was a long time ago and I was attractive and full of potential at the time. I also have a habit of misconstruing how girls feel about me >Like are you two ever flirty towards each other? Yep. She is naturally pretty flirtatious though and whilst she might flirt with me more she flirts with tons of people. Like one night at this party I came with her and was talking to his guy I hadn't seen for a while and she said "Anon and I are together." referring to me. I think she was just being cute and it probably would have been if I didn't drop my spaghetti. >If there's any chance she might like you back, I say go for it. I would like to definitively know but as I said losing her completely would be so fucking painful. >If not, model yourself after the guys she likes until she falls for you Yeah, I think if I could get my life back on track and be as I was a few years ago this might be possible but maybe too much time has passed and she'll simply never see me as anything other than her friend. >Win her over anon. Have a good story for your children. I wish. I honestly find myself wanting children and I'd love to raise a family with her. I seriously don't want any other girl. No one else interests me.
>>25585794 >Tfw in this exact situation a few years back >We're actually really good friends now and joke about our awkward half hook up all the time >Fight all the fucking time >Console and baby eachother >Have meaningful conversations over wings n beer >Friends with his friends now >Part of the boys group >Even got let in on the fucking horrific things they do to women (ex. cumming in their conditioner) >Shit is awesome >Male friends r fun because you can get in a fight and it's over when the fight ends and everything goes back to normal >Literally only have 3 female friends. Have to make more now because friends gfs are always hella suspicious of me
>>25585850 I believe in you anon. You're gonna make it. Have a drunk makeout sometime and see where it goes. If it goes poorly, pretend you were black out. If it goes well, build on it. That's a nice safe place to start. Obviously don't try to sex her while drunk but u no Also if it goes poorly and she swerves you in the moment be like "I just miss x so much" and pass it off like it wasn't her you were -really- attracted to
>>25585907 I'm saying that if more dudes treated women like homies and not potential fuck toys all the damn time then maybe women wouldn't be so horrific to be around I understand that I'm somewhat of an exception, and it bothers me. Platonic friendships with members of the opposite sex are the best. It's like having a sibling. And I'm sad that a lot of people don't get to experience them because either the girl is uptight or the guy is a creep Like fuck just treat eachother like you did in kindergarten
Except it's up to women to act like friends in the first place. They don't. Which is why most men don't tolerate their presence or, laughably, only treat them in the only way they approve of.
Which, funny enough, involves giving them special privileges because of their vagina.
You hung out with guys. You know it's possible. So... let's do a little thought experiment...
The reason you had those friends was...? Do you honestly think it was ALL those guys that just up and randomly treated you, "Like a person and not a fuck toy," or was it because you ACTED like a person and not a fuck toy?
You already admitted you didn't have many female friends. Gee, I wonder why?
>>25585962 That's a lie. The one friend, I've literally had him crying on my lap about how much he misses his ex. You don't fuck someone that's had to console you for hours about their ex. I also set him up with one of my female friends. My bf was out of town for NYE, but his friends came to the house party I was at to hang out with me and my crew. Nothing happened, I just took care of them and tucked them in. I'm a maternal figure to them >inb4 Oedipal complex Platonic friendships are possible.
>>25586001 It is men's fault tho. If women were actually seen and treated as equals, they would actually fucking develop a personality, because they would HAVE TO in order to get ahead in life rather than coasting by on their looks. You see, by prizing those exceptional, beautiful women solely for their looks, men have created this vapid monstrosity which is the majority of women. See this post >>25586029 He's essentially talking about the same thing I'm talking about, but placing the blame on women. Regardless, society has somehow made women almost unbearable (under the age of 30 anyways. Once the looks start to go, women start to become better because they actually have to bring something to the table) and it's shitty. And just let me b friends with dudes but no lewd pls That's all I want in life
>>25586033 You made the same fatal mistake of assuming I'm talking about you. I say again, given the chance, these men would fuck you. Unless you are fat and/or ugly, in which case, yes, a platonic relationship would be possible.
I used to find her really attractive and wanted to fuck her but I found out she has really weird personality traits and I can honestly do alot better. Thought hm ill still be her friend though cause she smokes and can be fun to chill with when shes not being mean
But everytime she comes round she acts like Im going to ponce on her, before she texted me like no bedrooms when I said i just need to clean my room and last time she was round she acted weird chilling on my bed with me
the really annoying thing is that I dont even want to fuck her and find her quite unattractive but she acts like shes friendzoning me
>>25586142 Bruh when you've been told since you were literally 6 shit like >Oh boys don't like smart girls >You should be quiet. It isn't lady like to be loud >You're too cute/pretty for hobby/activity x y z It's kind of short sighted not to think that perhaps societal pressures affect the way girls personalities are formed. Just my thoughts on it tho.
>>25586237 No, I'm not going to post pictures of my girlfriend on fucking /r9k/ you shit eating faggot. DESU I don't care if you believe me on a peruvian water painting image board or not. >>25586246 It's all about how you do it anon. If right off the bat you offer to buy a girl a meal or treat her non-stop then she's obviously going to smell you out as the low-test beta male you obviously are. Do it in a non-creepy way and it'll be fine
I.E. Pay for a beer and sandwich at some shitty dive bar after you invite her out to go somewhere on friday night NOT Go to some restuaraunt where you spend $20 on her meal and then proceed to offer to take her out again next week the second the date is over. Autist anon doesn't believe me but I don't give a shit to be honest. I was just like him when I was in high school and I failed MISERABLY with women. When I turned 22 I completely changed how I acted and proceeded to get more pussy thrown at me than any other point in my life.
>>25586185 I'm not talking about individual people, I'm talking about societal trends as a whole. Men are taught to be masculine. Women are taught to be feminine. Each sex is taught, through various social structures how they are to act, and interact with others. Sadly, women are taught to value their appearance over everything else. So of course their friendships, interactions, etc are going to be more surface. They are generally expected to be that way. I'm not saying >fuck all men I'm going to drink all your man tears for my feminist thirst What I'm saying is women are not inherently shitty, neither are men. Both are just taught a certain way and it's so innate that it's hardly noticable because you start getting indoctrinated with it at such an early age. Read up on Judith Butler's theory of Gender performativy. It's actually super interesting. She's a queer/feminist theorist so a lot of her other shit is pretty tumblr tier. But the gender performativy theory is actually super cool
>>25586238 If you're fairly attractive, these men would fuck you given the opportunity. I'm not trying to make a point here, I'm just giving you facts. The big difference is you would not fuck these men, but these men would fuck you. Maybe not all, but most.
>>25586321 >Men are taught to be masculine. Women are taught to be feminine. By women. Blame yourselves for that. You want to be treated like equals? Act like it. Until them men will carry on fixing your mistakes and giving you what you want.
>>25586219 Why do the mothers tell their daughters that though? It must stem from somewhere. There's also a reason the father in your scenario isn't correcting it. >>25586242 Small town 'Merica my friend.
>>25585286 Not true >be me, yesterday >talking to this qt girl >"oh anon, you're such a good friend" "that reminds of my other friend" etc. >ask her out >she says yes, ends up she said stuff like that cause she was nervous about her crush on me
>>25586362 >It must stem from somewhere. Yeah, women gained things so they decided it was a reasonable thing to do. Still do, in fact. Except for the fact they're suddenly realizing men have this whole system they NEVER FUCKING REALIZED EXISTED BECAUSE THEY'VE NEVER ACTUALLY GAVE A SHIT ABOUT WHAT A MAN THINKS.
And being a typical woman they want to take it away.
>>25586357 That is the thing. As mentioned in above quotes I AM treated differently because I have personal agency. A lot of other women my age don't have that same agency, and I'm just trying to explain the rationale behind their often times shitty personalities.
>>25586373 >Friends not wanting to debate and have intelligent conversation Why would I be friends with them if they couldn't carry on an interesting debate? Bruh my one friend is so redpilled. We fight all the damn time, but that's what makes it fun. Like fuck, your friends don't all have to have the same beliefs as you. I think it's kinda unhealthy if they do tbqh
>>25586435 >Why would I be friends with them if they couldn't carry on an interesting debate? But you're not. You're just blaming them for your weaknesses. Anyone that's reasonable would be fucking insulted.
>It's fun to fight! And you're right back to being typical. Do try to rise above that. No, MOST guys who are friends do not go out of their way to fight, "because it's fun." You're 100% misinterpreting it.
>>25586421 I'm not intending to come off as blaming men. I mean the perpetuation of it ultimately does come down to the woman's individual choice, however it is often times reinforced by men, thereby telling the women that this is the proper way to act in order to get a mate. If y'all stopped chasing Stacy, Stacy would cease to exist. Society is shitty. And the gender binaries that it has created is equally trapping for both genders. I'm just obviously better equipped to talk from the female perspective, because I'm a grill. Honestly it would be real cool to hear a dudes perspective about how societal expectations and pressures personally shaped them, or how they think it shapes men as a whole
Depends where your from, im irish, and we call everyone 'pal' or 'mate' usually 'hows it going pal' means whats up.. dosent mean your friendzoned over here, if she said some shit like ' thanks anon, youre a great friend' then youre most likely friendzoned.
>>25586471 >I'm not intending to come off as blaming men. So what? It's what you did. Own it.
>I mean the perpetuation of it ultimately does come down to the woman's individual choice... Finally, a break throug-- >...however it is often times reinforced by men... Jesus fucking Christ. You just couldn't resist. "Grow up and take responsibility for your actions." This is what men are told. Since you want so badly to be treated like us I'm going to tell that YOU too. GROW THE FUCK UP.
>If y'all stopped chasing Stacy, Stacy would cease to exist. Nevermind, "Not being Stacy," would be more appropriate. You know, because it's WOMEN that supposedly want to be treated like equals yet continue not to act that way. GROW THE FUCK UP.
>Society is shitty. Your fault. Men built it. We gave you a 50/50 say in it. It's been getting progressively worse. Own your goddman actions and be responsible or it's going to get worse.
>>25586454 I'm confused as to how this post is offensive. And how it is "blaming" anyone for any weaknesses. >>25586321 I'm not saying I actively look to fight, but I think exchanging of thoughts and ideas should be central to a friendship. I know mine and his generally clash, but it's always interesting to see his perspective, read the articles he sends to me etc. He does the same with the stuff I send him. Like I said, we have a very sibling like relationship, so us squabbling is all a part of our friendship.
>>25586524 >I'm confused as to how this post is offensive. And how it is "blaming" anyone for any weaknesses. >Unironically blaming other people for your actions. Confirmed woman. No doubt anymore. Men don't do this to other men. You know what we say when they do? "Stop being a woman." You know why we say this? Because this is how women act.
>>25586541 Omg I'm not blaming anyone for my personal actions. I'm just trying to describe what I personally see as the cause of large, sweeping societal norms and standards. I really don't understand why this is so offensive, and why you can't accept that society plays a LARGE role in who you become. It's not about blaming anyone in particular, it's just about trying to step outside of your personal spot in society, and examining that position from an anthropological/sociological perspective.
>>25586636 I just. You're not understanding my point at all. I'm not blaming anyone. I'm just trying to examine the societal structure that creates people in a certain way. Why is that inherently wrong to you?
>>25586732 Society may play a part at an early stage, but with the wealth of information and ideas that are now in the open and easily accessed in our society, there's no excuse to keep acting like society somehow controls the indivdual.
>>25586764 Lol omg I'm so torn up over some anon on 4chan giving me absolutely zero intelligent rebuttal. My lady brain just can't take it. Must be that time of the month. The lack of any sort of point to your posts is what bothers me the most though. Trying to decide if you're a troll, or a REEING autismo. Maybe your both. Who knows
>Play dumb. >Get called on it. >Resort to name calling.
I gave you what you wanted and amazingly I win again. Go figure. :^)
You want to be my equal? Take responsibility for your actions. No one can make you do that. It's something you have to do for yourself. You either do it or you're not equal. The end. There is nothing else. There is no rationalization for it. There's no way to rationalize AROUND it.
Unless you're a child. Or a woman. Women get away with it because they have bargaining power to do so.
>>25586807 Im not saying society controls the individual, or that it controls everyone. Im just interested in looking at the mechanism itself which creates these expectations, and how those expectations in turn, affect people. It's just an interesting thought experiment, to determine how much of you is really "you", and not just the "you" that is a result of the environment you were raised in. Like how much of a persons personality is innate?
>>25586845 You're just missing my whole point. We're arguing different points here, and you're just a broken record repeating the same thing over and over again. I'm not blaming anyone. I'm examining and looking for explanations. Consider it a win if you want, it doesn't matter. I'm not upset. >you want to be my equal I really don't anon. Your reading comprehension is shit. Who wants to be equals with someone like that Anyways. I'm off to bed. Keep those jimmies rustled.
>find girls >think shes cute >start talking to her >hang out >hang out more >hang out and talk all the time >just as I'm reaching the point of possibly having feelings for her I start to notice little things about her I can't fucking stand >start to really NOT like her and get annoyed >keep that bitch in the friendzone and move on to a new girl
Kinda fucked up how often I do this but at least I don't actually do weird shit like confess over a text, that would just be humiliating.
it helps if you do her homework. she won't just forget about me any time soon because she's a senior in high school and about to go to uni for 4 years and get the same major i did. if she's ever swamped with work and doesn't have time i'm the only person she trusts to do her homework.
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