I was a happy NEET content to sit around on the internet all day before I met a mental illness cocktail of a girl online, fell in love with her, moved cross country to be with her for a year and a half, broke up with her because I thought i'd be better off without her
I've now been disowned by the 1 real life friend I had, cry myself to sleep, the only happiness I get is when I'm asleep and dreaming of her. The only time she's responded to my desperate attempts to get her to talk to me have been when I've threatened suicide for her attention, and I ended up getting sent to a psych ward over that.
i'm going to kill myself within the week the next time my parents are out of the house
the moral is that when you've never known what reciprocated love feels like at least you don't have as much perspective on how unbelievably worse your life is than it was
>I ended up getting sent to a psych ward over that.
Holy shit man, similar thing happened to me. I still use it as bait even after having spent three days in a psych ward. She doesn't even respond to my suicide threats anymore. I don't know what to do, I'm thinking I might threaten her or her family so she at least talks to me one more time.
>>25582055 nah don't do that man, she'd probably just call the cops and you'd catch all that shit with 0 vindication
the only dignified thing to do at this point, probably for both of us is to just move on. even though this shit is so fucking life consuming that that seems impossible. right now I just want to get wasted so I have an excuse to make another email to text her from, send a huge rant to her that she won't respond to.
when I'm squirming and writhing in agony bawling my eyes out over her I just wish she would be teleported into the room with me, see this person that used to be so important to her in agony over her. I want her to dive into my arms and I want to kiss her face that's been stained with my tears and I want to feel so relieved that I have the only thing I want in life back
but that's impossible and I won't, the next best thing seems like indescript, tranquil death
sorry for blasting into my diary there am just kinda hoping you can relate to what I'm feeling since you're in a similar boat
>>25582292 >I just wish she would be teleported into the room with me, see this person that used to be so important to her in agony over her. I want her to dive into my arms and I want to kiss her face that's been stained with my tears and I want to feel so relieved that I have the only thing I want in life back I know this feel.
wait what are you hoping to accomplish by threatening her??? why do you want her to talk to you one more time if that last time is just going to be her telling you you're fucked up and blocking/deleting you???
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