so how did everyone else here end up being a reclusive fucking loser?
i'm 25, and had to move back in with my parents after some shit. the past year i've worked jobs, and now i'm in undergrad doing amazing and getting all A's. i finally ask my dad for my car key today [my car was in the shop and he still had it] so i can go to the pub right on the town line. he just cut me off and said no, and then he wonders why im not a flourishing adult. why i sit in my room all day. now im chugging a bottle of jack and took an extra 2 of my percocet ready to smash everythhing around me.
what's your story, were you born to be reclusive/autistic/alone? did something happen? are you parents over protective or did they leave you to rot?
>First day at kindergarden
>Mom tells me I started crying the day I was left alone
>Didn't participate, didn't do homework. Refused to interact with others
>High school, would skip classes and sometimes entire days by just not walking into the school
>End up missing half of highschool
>Failed all my classes because I wouldn't do any work. Literally say there the entire time and never lifted my pencil.
>Hand in tests empty
>Hated social interaction all through my life. Never grew out of it
>High school drop out now.
ANd yet, I will be forced to get a job and "man up". I hate life and want to die every day.
A little bit of everything you mentioned but my childhood was cool i cant complain its my own fault
You kinda remind me of myself. Cried on first day of kindergarten but i figure alot of kids do that. From 5th grade up i just wasn't social at all, skipped classes in HS and just didn't care. I'm finally growing out of it tho, still dont understand why i acted so shy compared to now. I'm not retarded, idk i just didn't talk...wtf was wrong with us?
you're literally me
drop your skype i really want to talk with someone similar to me
>had anxiety issues all my life despite constantly doing things outside my comfort zone
>parents never got me help, instead used therapy as a threat if i did something wrong
>when school ended lost contact with the only friend i had
Mother abused me as a kid, father was basically a nonentity in terms of emotional support, always had trouble connecting to other people, never had any friends due to insane social anxiety, any girl I do connect with I get insanely attached to, so here we are 20 years later browsing a digital amphibian marketplace hoping I'll meet some femanon who's as sad as I am that I can make some sort of connection with.
You don't want to talk to me, anon. I'm pretty boring and not all good at conversation.
>me, 12th grade, smart white male
>got all A's in the gifted program throughout middle/high school
>constantly smoked weed and went in high
>prescribed maximum adderall, would snort them everyday
>thank god i was white
>had one nigger bitch teacher who taught piano
>took it for the elective credit, only upperclaman
>she ratted on me for smelling like the roach i smoked before her 1st period class
>high as fuck on dextromethorphan pills too
>security shows up to bring me to a room and pat me down
>no weed, find a loose addie in my pocket
>tell them it was actually mine, get sent back to class clearly high as fuck
mfw i walk back in smiling, tripping balls, and started playing all the keys on my keyboard at once while the 13 yo freshmen watch in horror
>now im 25 and in my parents, i showed her.
Because I was born an only child to a relatively non-caring mother and an asshole father. I also show all the symptoms of ADD and did throughout childhood, yet was never prescribed medication or even went to a doctor about it.
So this led to me not only being socially retarded like most only children are, but because of the ADD whenever I did talk I was always just loud, annoying and obnoxious and being raised by an asshole father made my annoying and obnoxious comments asshole-y as well.
And because this caused me to be alone through high school, every year that went by I just got more bitter and miserable and angry, the bad traits got worse, and followed me through college.
I'm not really sure.
Its probably a combination of things.
My mother is mentally ill and raised me untill I was in middleschool.
always forced me to daycare as a child where I cried and sat alone.
Forced me to go to single parent groups to meet other kids (I met no friends out of the 100s I went to. It was all for her and she didnt care I was sitting alone as long as she talked to single parent chad or stacy.
Had socio-path as friend as kid.
Had weirdo psycopath as other friend
^^I shit you not one manipulated me and the other stole my shit killed my lizards and also manipulated me.
MFW no social skills MFW social anxiety.
Dad stuck in 1980s
Sent me to school wearing cowboy boots and a crew cut, telling me to punch people right in the face if they were mean
MFW allways in trouble never learnt anything
You would think a teacher would try and fix the problem or show some compassion for a kid who doesnt know how to act/is being used as example in class. >Never happened had to fix this myself when I realised I was alone in this world.
dad never taught me anything really, all he did was nag and complain and fight and yell.
Has this look he gets when even slightly frustrated with me looks like he is in unbearable pain.
tl;dr raised by complete retards (sorry mom and dad still love you.. sort of)
Never shown/told/taught what the fuck to do in life and had bad luck = one day I realised I never leave my room have no friends, have social anxiety no social skills and use videogame addiction and weed as a crutch.
This is also me if we change some of the wording to europoor equivalents. Almost 25 now, have never had a job and dropped out of school when I was 17. I guess I really haven't found anything that interests me yet, not because I don't try, I've tried to get into a lot of different hobbies and acquire different skills. Everything has always been a fleeting interest though. Even with people, but I guess that's more to do with me being a boring person and not being able to contribute to conversation. It mostly comes down to the fact that I just really enjoy being by myself, playing some vidya and reading. I'm pretty lucky that my parents don't have any problem with me being NEET, but I think that's because they're relationship has been falling apart and they both probably want me on their side.
Do you guys think that going to an after-school/daycare program is more or less likely to make you an aspie?
I was in one of those programs where I would go every day after school and on all school breaks (winter, spring, summer, etc) from elementary school through like 7th grade.
I remember I wasn't an aspie there, I had friends in those programs.
Molested at 6-7. Bullied at high school.
My parents thought I was veeeery mature so they never taught me anything. My dad specially gave no fucks so I had no father figure growing up. 4chan was my dad and taught me how to "function" in society.
Been friendless for some time. Some people seem to appreciate me for some reason (not even pity, I guess they're just curious about me), most probably think I'm a scumbag.
Went trough a self-improvement phase and forced myself to act as "alpha" (read: douchebag) as possible. Had girls throwing themselves at me (I've always had a pretty face, everything else was just awful when I was younger). Not even sluts, just normal "nice" girls. I started to hate all women because this basically confirmed that they only care about shallow shit. I'm a full blown misogynist now. I also kind of started to hate people in general, which is actually the reason I'm friendless now.
The way I see it it's 50/50 or so, I'm obviously responsible for part of my shortcomings but people did some shit that sure as hell didn't help. I'm probably too old to change. Been thinking about committing suicide a lot lately.
Bro, see a psychologist hey. You need to talk to someone about this shit because your parents never helped you develop properly.
Of course girls were throwing themselves at you. Being not ugly as fuck and being confident/aplha is what attracts them, and being pretty and not an annoying bitch is what attracts you. doesn't mean they are shallow or shit people, its just fucking biology. once they are attracted and you maintain your not being hideously ugly and being confident they will figure out if they like you (criteria is you must be fun to hang out with)
I've just never been compatible with other people. My common sense is different, my interests and reasons for having interests are different, and I experience no pleasure from talking to people. My ideal world would be where I could stay a kid forever and my mom would live forever and nothing would ever change. Everything everyone else wants is so alien to me I can't even talk to them about it. They talk about movies and music and drugs and dating and it all seems really boring. I'm not sure where I'm going with this post, I guess the tl;dr is that I've always been this way. I don't even know if I want to be different or if I just want the universe to stop existing.
Yeah, I've thought about that. I have a hard time talking about this kind of stuff, though. Even here on /r9k/ I feel like I'm blogposting the few times I talk about myself and I really really try to avoid it. Unless I kill myself first (which probably won't happen because I think about it so much that it's now a kind of a running joke inside my head), I'll try to convince myself to talk to a shrink when I get some time.
I think its really the no job that did it. The wagecuck meme is a meme. If you have a job you have people to talk to, you have income, freedom (when not working), you don't feel like you are wasting your life every day. If I had a job I'd just a be socially awkward loner. Instead I'm a 25yr old neet with no license, no job and can't cook by myself, living with mummy.
And you sound like a meanieface
My parents did something much worse
They spoiled me, no, they treated me like the dumbest kid ever
They would do everything for me
I mean, how the fuck am I supposed to have attitude?
They fucked me up, and now they ask me when will I get a gf
Srsly, fuck my life
>raised by single mother
>mother fucks up a lot and neglects me and my sister
>tries to make up for years of neglect by being overprotective later
Complete social isolation until my mid teens
Fat as a kid, constantly bullied throughout public school. Weird voice for a male. Only 5'8".
Hit 19/20, start losing the weight, get in decent shape, become a little more outgoing, make friends, fuck girls, get decent autist GF, study useless art shit at a for-profit degree mill.
Autist girlfriend becomes obsessed and servile, turn into a cocky dick, alienate all the friends, dump GF after four years, whatever friends I had left all took her side because men who make women cry are evil. Go back to soulless casual sex.
And here I am at 27, bald, broke, still living at home, gained half the weight back, unemployed, shitposting on 4chan at midnight, going on 4AM.
>tfw ex started dating a Muslim guy after me
>tfw she has pictures of her wearing a hijab
>tfw everyone who knew us hates me now
>literally can't even go out anywhere without running into someone who hates me
>literally the biggest joke out of anyone I know
I think at some point I actually had some potential to not be a total loser and I blew it by not getting a real degree at a real school, and by dating a girl who was as autistic as I am.
>graduated uni at 22
>no plans, no job lined up, terrified of life
>cut contact with all friends, delete Facebook and change phones
>NEET for a year
>finally get a job
>struggle along with it for a year
>can't really cope with things anymore
>dad sent to prison for 6 years and mum diagnosed with breast cancer in the same week
>use this as an excuse to quit
>cut of all contact with work
>NEET for 10 months now
Things could have been different
Weird thing is I've always been suicidal and antisocial, I think it's just a defect in my brain. Even before I can remember I apparently used to threaten suicide at like 4 years old. Didn't stop wanting to do it since then but at least I don't tell anyone now.
No, I really was a total sperg as a kid. I didn't really make friends or socialize at all until I was 18 or 19. I spent the entirety of my childhood playing video games alone.
When I got bullied in school I would often go REEEEE mode and end up getting punished along with whoever bullied me. I improved over time but the signs were always there.
I alienated all those friends by basically exploding at them for very minor things, like not returning a text when they normally would, casually making a joke at me (which would just bring back memories of the actual bullying I experienced)
If I run into someone who bullied me in high school they'll actually still try to bully me even now. I don't just take it like I used to but the fact that they feel safe doing it even when we're adults says a lot.
Call it being a failed normie if you like, I have never felt normal or really understood other people. I was always jealous of pretty much everyone else, even the cringey drama kids and artfags had more friends than me and treated me like an outsider despite more or less being like them.
>Was very popular in high school
>knew a lot of people, but didnt have a lot of 'real' friends.
>graduate high school, friends go to college, but I dont
> 4 years later
> working 2 jobs, 1 fulltime 1 part time making pretty decent income for my age
>i have hardly any time to hang with my 2 friends who are still in town
> they both have girlfriends so they dont have time for me when I actually am off work.
Hanging out with new people feels like a chore after work, and although I'd love new friends or a girlfriend, I cant find anyone that feels like theyre worth talking to.
So I have been alone in my apartment for the past few weeks most of the time after work. My roomate's schedule and mine dont overlap so I dont actually see any friends much anymore.
I bought a pistol six month's ago and I am afraid that one day I wont feel the "it will probably change for the better" feeling I have now and I may kill myself and it scares the shit out of me because I know how easy it would be to do it.
So that's where I am.
I have a very weird behavior
When talking to guys (like myself) I am pretty outgoing, most of them consider me pretty funny, I even smoke weed with some pretty Chad friends
But when it comes to girls, I am a fucking autist
I am simply terrified of the opposite sex and even more clueless of how to interact with them
Wtf is wrong with me?
Oh, and I also got accused of rape by a girl who hated me because her little sister (19 at the time) wanted the D and I gave it to her. Older sister found out and went around telling anyone who would listen that I raped her sister.
That really did a number on me and pretty much no one who knows the girl will talk to me anymore. They treat me like I'm some kind of monster and just take it at the older sister's word even though her younger sister still tries to talk to me.
I don't like associating with her anymore even though she's a QT and autist like me, because if the wrong person sees us together it'll start all that shit over again. I have terrible anxiety towards it. And I'm in no position in life to actually try having a relationship with her. If I lived on my own it wouldn't be an issue and would probably let her stay with me to get her away from her legitimately abusive family (main reason why she's so fucked in the head)
People kept saying stuff like "she's not in her right mind" and this that and the other, but she's not fucking retarded or anything. She's just awkward. She grew up with a family who treated her like shit and always left her in her sister's shadow. People treat her the same way they always treated me, which was why we took interest in each other in the first place. It's like there's just something about us that makes people hate us no matter how we act towards them. This is how I know there was a connection.
I won't even show my face at any of the places I used to hang out. People would probably be alarmed if I even showed up due to the above. That's seriously how effectively the lie was spread, I'd have no social reason to be there, because everyone shunned me. The majority of people who know me literally believe I'm a rapist. And I have no money to even leave this shitty area.
I feel so pathetic. I've just been talked down to my whole life because I have always looked a good 3-5 years younger than my whole age. Even though I realize that there are people who respect me, I still feel like no one does. Even the people who respect me talk to me like a kid (I'm 20 and I look 15; 16 at the oldest). Everyone in real life just automatically assumes I'm that age. I'm 5'6" with my shoes on. I feel inadequate and inferior. I want to be respected and I hate being ignored.
I've only had one girlfriend and she dumped me and kindasorta cheated. Haven't been able to get over it, even though it was almost a year ago. It seriously fucking sucks. I'm actually very attractive, too, but none of that matters when I'm short and look young. I want this suffering to end.
Dude you were never convict of it
No one can prove anything against you
I know this sounds a little too much "b urself" but thats it
Simply not giving a fuck is the only solution
Or work your ass off and get out of there
I wasn't even formally accused to police or anything but social stigma is really powerful, especially because this is a really leftist area and social opinion is basically ruled by the dyed-haired cunts who pull this kind of shit.
There is literally no one to vouch for me except the little sister, and no one cares what she says any more than they care what I say, because her older sister is that malicious that she's willing to depict her younger sister as somehow being handicapped just to make me look like a creep
In September 2011, the state of Texas abolished all special last meal requests after condemned prisoner Lawrence Russell Brewer requested a huge last meal and did not eat any of it, saying he was not hungry.
As long as I can remember I've tended towards reclusivity. Being with people has always felt like shit and like I'm constantly having to act. Despite this I had a few friends in Elementary School, but I would always rather waste my days on the computer than spend time with them. I also never felt very close to them, almost like I was an outsider just observing them. In Middle School I developed social anxiety and was given more freedom to spend time on my PC, which is just what I did. I still had a few acquaintances at that point, but only one guy I would really consider a friend. In my first years of high school my one friendship faded away, but I was able to make friends with a few other guys, which unfortunately fell through a few months later, of my own doing. I was pretty alone and depressed at this point and decided that I would eventually kill myself, but the dates I set just kept coming and I never did. In my senior year I met another loner dude who had just moved to my city, we still keep in touch, and he's probably the only guy who could be considered my friend. After I graduated high school I attended a year of uni, made no friends, and gave few fucks. I withdrew in my sophomore year due to a bout of depression and still haven't gone back. Honestly, idgaf about participating in society, but I will probably at some point to an extent. I really only want to study, write, and make a few good loner friends to spend my time with.
You are at a cross roads right now. Tomorrow you should again ask your Dad for the keys to your car. If he refuses to give them to you then you need to calmly tell him it is your property and you would like your keys back. If he refuses again you will tell him you will call the police because he is stealing from you.
He will become irate at this point and try to redirect the conversation on to how much you owe him for everything. Ignore this and pick up the phone and call the police if you have to.
This will cause a big blow up but it has to be done. Boundaries need to be set. However, you must realize you have to respect them as well from here on out. Don't take every handout your parents offer you. Don't take the easy road. It's very rough at first, but it is the path towards maturity.
Women are fucking dumb and only need you to lie to them and manipulate them, though. So many women who hate me now were willing to fuck the first time we met.
I can't do that to interviewers because I have major anxiety and become hyperaware of all my flaws, not to mention you have an obligation to prove yourself consistently down the line. It's not as easy as lying to some gullible cunt and getting a couple rolls in the hay
I've gotten 5 different jobs in my life, and its only from knowing a friend of a friend who works at the place. sounds gay, but networking is key. Ask your friends, or your parents friends, if anything is available. I'm sure your parents will do whatever to get you out of the house.
Kill yourself if dubs
There was even a guy I thought I was friends with who INSTANTLY turned on me and helped spread the rumor because a friend of the older sister was an ex of his and he wanted to fuck her again.
This is how I know I'm not a normie. A real human bean with any sense of honor, dignity or respect would never tell such an odious lie to maybe get pussy again, and from a girl who destroyed him, no less.
If the cunt older sister didn't have blue hair he would be first on the list.
Did you miss the part where I don't have fucking friends? Jesus christ.
And my parents are kind of autists too and also don't have any real friends outside of work, either. I've applied at both their workplaces many times and never get hire n
>born in 'Murica
>had to move to Europe at 5/6 years because of dad's work
>Never learned more than the basics of the native language because parents paid for a tutor that would home school me in English
>Never made any friends or developed early social skills because can barely speak the language
>next door neighbor that my parents hired as a babysitter repeatedly molested me
>moved back to america just in time for freshman year of high school
>never made any friends there either
>couldn't pull off the cool foreign student because I never really learned the language or developed an accent or anything like that
that and any girl I've ever dated stabbed me in the back. I'm still grateful that I got to see a bit of the world at a young age though.
fuck all of that, literally never going to talk to another woman if I can help it, quiet people are so fucked if they get a label for this shit, even if it's completely untrue. so unfair
Im trying to pull myself out of this recluse hole that I've dug myself into. This my year OP I'm finally gonna get /fit/ I'm ready for it but its hard cause my family is a bunch of unsupportive assholes. But I have my hopes up and imma do it! No more reclusiveness!
The best part is that not a single person ever asked the younger sister how she felt about anything, if I had ever done anything to hurt her or make her feel unsafe etc
They just took the older sister's word for it, because most of these people already thought I was weird anyway and so it was easy for them to believe.
It's also comforting to know that the older sister is literally a cuck, though. Her boyfriend cheated on her with a girl even younger than her sister is and said he was running away to California with her, but then the older sister took him back anyway. They have a kid now. I really hope he still cheats on her every chance he gets.
That's the fun part, none of these people are actually any better than me. I've never been so pathetic as to take back a cheater. I've never been so pathetic as to be popping adderalls constantly. People just treat me like a freak no matter how I act, because I'm a weird guy. But it's still better than being normie scum like these fucking people.
why would your dad say no and why would you accept that? will they kick you out if you disobey, and can you not afford a room?
personally ive always been socially awkward, grew out of it for the most part, but pretty much have been a loser. degree/career going nowhere, recently fired, about to go live on my parents rental property for cheap, its a boring area but at least i wont be in the same house as them. the area im going to is the central valley of california, basically the redneck/beaner center of california full of racists and right wing religious dipshits. i plan on going hikikomori for the most part
yeah, im in college now and i need this. i'm really smart and have a degenerative joint disease, so a manual labor job or cubicle job wont work. i need to just swallow it while i get out of here. i have a resident assistant job lined up at school, free housing for taking care of kids. ill find a job out by my school so i can get an apartment. now, im just commuting 30 min from home. my dad is losing his memory and brain facilities so thats whats making it so hard. another ~7 months of this and im free. maybe sooner if i find a job thats easy on ym joints and find a cheap apartment out by school during the summer or a place to stay. it wont be long..
Why dont you try you fuck you think youre better than all the highschool work and people and everything in life? Jesus christ tell me at least youre a diagnosed autost so i can at least symphatize
dropped out of high school to do online my senior year because I was sick of actually going to school and I knew absolutely no one in my classes.
ended up taking 3 more years to graduate since I was neeting it up.
got a dui 2 days after quitting my shitty walmart job so I could neet it up again. no license and out 3500 dollars.
and now here I am neet of 2 years
also I haven't left the house besides dui classes/grocery shopping and I haven't talk to anyone outside my mom and brother for 2 years.
probably doesn't help that I smoke a shitload of weed like 10 dollars a day.
EVERY. and I mean EVERY
fucking loser that ever existed, the problems can be traced back to shitty parenting
PROVE ME WRONG
>inb4 b-but my parents were nice to me
Nice parents are cucks. They babied you into becoming a fucking loser by being too nice. Moderation between love, discipline, and teaching you how to be a functioning adult is the key.
99% of parents just exist and don't teach their kids shit and just provide food and shelter. That's not parenting.
Elliot Rodger is the perfect example of this. Nonexistant dad that didn't teach him shit about being a man and just bought him a nice car to make up for not being a father. And a mom who was nice to him but still didn't teach him anything about relationships or how to be an adult.
I'm not saying it's 100% the parents fault, if you're a loser you probably brought it on yourself somehow, but bad parents are the root cause of all grief in the world.
>wahh my dad wont let me be a man
>wahh i deserve to be a man even though I dont have the balls to do what I want
>wahh im a grown adult and still listen to my parents
look up narcissitic parenting. add he fact that my parents are hispanic and poor. couple it with moms bullshit guilt trips and physical retaliation if psychological harm wasnt enough to keep down any signs of rebellion. along with that i am a paradox of myself, as in everything in my mind is in constant chaos and i dont know what to think or feel, and never having learned social skills due to never having been allowed to socialize, and yeah. pretty much that.
Mom turned gay. Step dad turned gay, his boyfriend lived with us from when I was 9 to when I was 16. Step dad lays in bed on his stomach with his ass in the air and plays on his computer. Probably lays like that so his boyfriend has easier access to assfuck him, but he claims he has a spine disease.
Any time I asked for something I was told no. Any time I wanted to hang out with a friend I was told no. All my opinions and suggestions were ignored. I was made to play computer and Xbox all day every day and to not have friends.
My fatass mom over-fed me and I got a lot of shit for it in school. I wore yard sale clothes with retarded slogans on them. I always felt super embarrassed when there would be a scholastic book fair and I was the only guy that couldn't afford a book.
I developed mutism. I never speak anymore. I never leave my house anymore. I wake up, get on my computer for a few hours, feel exhausted, go back to sleep for 8 - 12 hours, rinse and repeat.
My mom won't stop asking me for money. I couldn't get along with people at any of my last jobs, I just didn't speak to anyone. I'll kill myself if I have to get another job. I found a website where I can make 3 dollars an hour, but its very unreliable and sometimes there is nothing to do. I told my mom I would give her $200 a month, and I haven't even been able to make that much. Every day she comes home and immediately asks me if I made her any money. So frustrating.
I really need help but I don't know who to ask. Everyone hates me. Nobody wants to help me. Nobody even knows I exist. I just want to stop suffering.
open up google, type in "psychiatrist", go to see one.
Tell them how it is, get meds to temporarily make you functional, get a real job for the time being.
After 2 months of steady work, move out. Get a 1 room-apartment with some other roommates or get your own place with the money you make.
Get fit, start a healthy style of life, quit smokeing/drinking/excessiv vidya.
Start looking for a better job or think about further education.
Realize that you don't need the meds as long as you keep your healthy life up.
Never look back.