>>25572733 I don't understand why you'd commit suicide. Why not go out with a bang? No I don't mean mass shooting, something a bit more optimistic. Like why don't you spend whatever money you have on flying to some random place and do whatever the fuck you want? Go Vegas and try to break the house? Go to Siberia and run off to the wilderness? Literally anything (apart from torture) is a better option than suicide.
At least shoot up a gang's hideout bro. In the end, if you're serious I hope you change your mind. I can understand someone killing themselves but it hurts me to see others actually do it because I feel suicidal a lot of times
>>25573536 I'm this guy: >>25573225 I don't want to be that guy that says just try to find something but seriously man try. I hate my life and there is also nothing special. I remember a thread where a guy said he was also going to end his life and I cried like a bitch reading that thread
I really wanna start a shootout in a gym. Kill all the fucking normies superficially scum. They all must die.and torture some women oh Lord that would be heaven. Good luck to you op. Hope you take some fucking normies WHORES with you... Kill normies it's not a crime, you are doing good work there. Fucking normies.
>>25573657 I did try even after things got real bad, I just kept fucking everything up, and even so I hated every second of it. Its like my subconscious wants me to kill myself, like a death drive of sorts
>>25573739 Well I don't know what to say other than to find something. All that is left for me is too move out of my mom's house and make my own money. So I still have a bullshit (bs because I don't want to be a wagecuck but I can't stand living like this) goal
Posting the song that stuck to me on that other suicide guy's thread that made me cry like a bitch
>>25573819 Im just an autism factory senpai, it just made it ten times worse i would fuel it with drugs. Ive done a lot of embarassing shit and fucked over a lot of people. Now im sitting here a decade later at 24 with burned bridges every which way and shame to last an eternity with literally nothing to show for it. I would go into more detail but there is just so much stuff I really dont know where to start. The worst part is I should be dead already. I tried to OD on 200mgs of rc benzos and when i woke up I couldnt even talk for half the day, like I knew what I wanted to say but literally couldnt say it, it was just me drooling out syllables. Then I was gonna kill myself again, I had another shipment that got lost in the mail and was coming back to me around my birthday which i ate 3 grams of stims and ended up in the psychward, so my parents intercepted it. Its like im being fucking tortured and now i have to hang myself which sucks and i really dont wanna go that way, its just cruel and unusual punishment at this point family
>>25574132 well here is a weird suggestion. Get an attitude and try to find ways to truly not care about other people. Not like an asshole way but just enough that if you act like an asshole it is the other person's fault for being a pussy. example: >shoulder bumped someone accidentally >they looked pissed >whatever he wasn't looking either on with my day
My life was this small (pic realted) before I said fuck it all to hell and took ayahuasca (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ayahuasca) with a similarly depressed friend of mine. It blew my mind, I felt so fucking small. It was wonderful. Everything I thought I knew about myself, about life, was purged from my mind. In my life now, it's like, fuck. I still have problems, but I realize it's not the end of the world because life is fleeting and beautiful.
My friend went on to kill himself, but it was years later, and following the death of his father. We thought we were going to do it the same year as we had our trip. I think about him almost every day, even though he never believed he would be missed. Don't be the guy people miss OP.
>>25574279 Pretty sure thats how normies operate automatically, ive had the same thought and tried to be that way but my insecure side never fails to show up. Its like a knee jerk reaction at this point, im so close to death and not giving a shit about myself that I cant pull it off. Its weird because I dont think normies deserve to be like that a lot of them are even more cringeworthy than even me but they just wont see it. I just think they are that stupid
>>25574301 If by suicide you just mean sad songs then here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jNkzrjaouHI Also Hollywood Undead - Bullet is actually a song about suicide but it sounds happy do I don't feel like linking that
>>25574311 >I felt so fucking small. It was wonderful. Everything I thought I knew about myself, about life, was purged from my mind. In my life now, it's like, fuck. I still have problems, but I realize it's not the end of the world because life is fleeting and beautifu
Ive done shrooms and other shit. I know exactly what you mean except for me it was like a crushing of my reality and ego that I needed to survive which is now my modus operandi. Its like im stuck in a bad trip
>>25574394 Just try to develop a bullshit confidence. Fake it till you make it. .... Or go to some game tournament (smash bros, cs:go, etc.) and try to find some autistic friends and have stupid conversations about memes and shit
>>25574583 Maybe they can discover something they don't like. How will they know unless they experience it? I imagine most people that are depressed are that way because of their immediate surroundings. Even if I am wrong, what is the harm in trying?
>>25574729 Idk maybe for a little bit, but I will always turn to drugs in the end and fuck my shit up more, thats if I could even be happy. Like you could give me all the normie friends a man could ask for and a 10/10 gf and I would probably just mainly think she was an annoying shallow faggot and I would hate every second of just bullshitting with normies. Hell I even tried it recently and the normie faggot loved me, but I hated every second I wasnt loaded even when we were going out and playing pool and shit. Its like im just tired man and ive depleted all my dopamine and serotonin
Nah I'm kidding bro. I know this though. Whatever it is you mean, it'll come back to you. What you feel is lost isn't lost.
In my theory, psychedelics aren't a permanent anything, but they create a really strong experience which can (and hopefully will) change your perception of life through the sheer wonder and weirdness of the experience. Much like an important event does - we'll say someone dies, it will change everything but you're still the same person and eventually things will stabilize.
However if you have schizophrenia in your family you should steer mighty clear
>>25574906 You're depressed. You're doing life wrong. No diss, I'm just understanding how it is. Find the spark that makes life full of love dude, it aint hard it just takes commitment, good spirit and possibly shrooms
Do you really think someone with crushing suicidal depression is going to: pack up, drive to the airport, show up to the airport on time, wait in line, sit on a flight, drive to a hotel, check in, etc while alone and on the verge of tears? How will this make them feel any better?
They are about to kill themselves. Even if they win the jackpot at vegas they won't really give a fuck. It's completely unrelated to their mental condition.
>>25575097 I've never been in that situation so I wouldn't know how it feels, but if they force themselves to do something insane, like fly to the other side of the world, maybe the novelty could keep them going for a bit longer? Surely it's worth a try considering the circumstances if they have the finances. If not then hell I don't know, but surely doing something completely insane is better than suicide is it not?
>>25574662 You have no idea what it's like to be depressed. You are preachy even though you are ignorant. You have no empathy and speak on matters you don't know about as if you're an authority. Just stop fucking talking. Your opinions are fucking stupid.
>>25575153 I lived in NY my entire life, my younger sister was living in Phoenix for a while and she said "Why don't you just come out here?"
So I bought a ticket to Phoenix and lived with her for a few months, I sat in her apartment drinking and playing video games for a few months, realized you can't run away from you and went back home to my parents.
>>25575340 >You have no idea what it's like to be depressed True > You have no empathy Obviously I have empathy you fucking retard, otherwise I wouldn't be trying to convince a suicidal person not to kill themselves
>>25576647 I am down a lot of the time but not depressed from what I've read. The state of my country is my chief concern, but I've realised I can't change that and also realised that most of the scum who vote left in my country deserve the mass rape which they will soon experience. Maybe I would be actually depressed if it wasn't for the drugs and alcohol
>>25572733 Anon before you do it, please write a comforting letter to your mother, tell her that you love her and all that crap. You can even hang out with her. Just don't let her think that it's her fault.
>>25579687 Depends on how I have to do it. At this point if I wanna OD which im most comfortable with, I'd have to break in somewhere and steal all my years worth of drugs back. Thats probably gonna happen because I dread the thought of hanging myself for some reason, dunno if I could do it, its like my body wont let me. Hell I still get scared of people from my past coming and shooting me sometimes
>>25579131 Good luck, robro. Make sure your method is fast and painless. Or slow and painless, if that is your thing. Perhaps your atoms will recombine into a luckier consciousness sometime in the far future.
>>25579979 Makes sense. How was coming to terms with the idea that this is what you wanted to do? Like at what point did it all just sort of "click" and you decided that this is what you wanted to do? How easy was it to come to terms with the weight of such a decision, and put aside other "priorities" and life obligations?
sorry for all the weird questions, I just imagine I'll be in a similar place at some point in the near future and am curious about what the experience in arriving there is like.
>>25580222 >How was coming to terms with the idea that this is what you wanted to do? Like at what point did it all just sort of "click" and you decided that this is what you wanted to do?
It was just a lot of hell to be honest with you bro. There were years where I would mutter "just kill yourself" under my breath a lot, but I was never really at "that point" you know. Its just been these recent years where ive really been fucking up and the world has really been kicking me in the teeth that I actually just said fuck it. It started with the first few minor attempts I mean dont get me wrong ive been doing dangerous shit all my life that could get me killed, but I was never REALLY trying til about this last half year, like I said in earlier posts im surprised im alive. So all in all I think its just been a long time comin, but it took some serious shit to just be so ok with it
>How easy was it to come to terms with the weight of such a decision, and put aside other "priorities" and life obligations?
Honestly, most of the crazy shit I did in my own fucked up mind I was just trying to fucking make it for the ones I cared about. It just got more and more fucked up as time went on. One thing always led to another
>sorry for all the weird questions, I just imagine I'll be in a similar place at some point in the near future and am curious about what the experience in arriving there is like.
Ya know apart of me wishes what ive been through on no man. Normie and especially not a fellow robot. I doubt most people will get to where im at, but there is a certain resolve about it, I can say for certain that the hardest time in my life was clinging to it. I wish you the best brother and I hope things turn around for you
>>25572733 Buy a revolver buy one bullet spin it two things can happen. On the universe can tell you whether your meant to live or die. It isn't alive or aware but it's the most pure form of judgement, chance.
>>25581058 In a way the universe was telling me to live by losing my package I was gonna kill myself with only to be reshipped and show up two days after my involuntary psychward stint and be intercepted by my parents. But fuck the universe, look what it did to me, ill be screaming fuck it all the way into the void. Fuck that
Not OP and I watched it. I couldn't stand it and got to 7 minutes. What this guy is saying is a very misguided approach to suicide. When you want to commit suicide you want to die. If you wish you want to slash your throat, I don't think you will think the world is your oyster and you will go explore Australia. In fact if you think you do, then you obviously never been actually depressed. When I was depressed for years I rolled in my own suffering. A person who is suicidal doesn't have a lot of things to think about. It's why the most likely thought pattern is a repetition is I want to die. It's not I don't want to die, there has to be another solution. It's I want to blow my fucking head off because this world fucking sucks. Don't eat any food for one day or to the point where the only thing you want is food. Wanting to kill yourself is like a similar situation. You have suffered so long the only way out is through this one solution where you think it's the only way out. Do us all a favor and don't give advice to depressed people again.
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