This is the story of how I learned to stop being a robot and

>recoil because RRRREEEEEEEEEEE
>no going back. I've committed to that reaction, now I have to make it work for me
>"You do *not* want to shake my hand, dear, I'm sweating like a pig."
>I have no idea why I called him 'dear', but that's part of the character now
>he says something like, "We'll all be sweating tonight, it's cool."
>my left brow starts twitching, so I raise it to cover my nerves
>for some fucking reason I say, "Promises, promises."
>my voice has been breaking this whole time and I sound like the queen of the Cali night-life
>guess my character is a gay af countertenor. Haven't lost my pasta yet, at least
>I hit on this guy for half an hour to develop my persona and build confidence
>Chad was pretty weirded out over that, and warned me that one of the girls there was his gf
>I finally did misplace my linguini trying to apologize to her
>she laughed it off and said it was 'adorable' (I really creeped this guy out, lads)
>I ended up hanging out with her and a few other qt3.14s for the rest of the night
>apparently, as a pudgy homosexual, I'm irresitible to the honeys
>I'm feeling pretty confident at this point, so I make a point of checking out some grill in another group
>it wasn't my intention, but I guess I was negging
>one of the girls in my group (7/10 redhead; kinda bony, but would still bone) pointedly asks if I'm bi
>I freeze up for a few too many seconds, then try to come back suave with, "Only for redheads."
>the girl I had been checking out was blonde, but w/e, it seemed to work

2/3

>at this point, I'm starting to think I might actually get some, and don't even feel anxiety anymore
>I make a point of chatting her up, manage to avoid any accidents of Italian cookery
>eventually we're alone, at least from the rest of our group, and she asks if I'm single
>I nearly blew my noodles trying to be cool and said, "If you like, dear."
>this bitch starts telling me about her brother
>apparently, he's 'sweet' but really shy, doesn't get out much
>she goes on to describe a NEET
>she's tells me how cute he is, and winks at me before saying, "...and he's a redhead."
>since I'm so 'outgoing' and 'assertive', she thinks I'd be perfect to draw him out of his shell and get him to do something fun instead of, and I quote, "...browsing the internet all day."

So, /r9k/, I ask you this: which one of you literal faggots am I going on a date with in my quest to lose my v-card in your sister's poon?

but do you know why commies drink vodka?

>>25568471
To avoid the fluoride, senpai.

Hahaha I hope this story is real.

>>25568272
You are gay. Kill yourself

I laffed op. fairplay

Bravo op ,very well bravo

>>25568272
So you passed as a weird flaming faggot and got some girl's brother's contact ? Nice going faggot.

I don't know better, but I think you got cucked.

>>25568272
you're still a robot you retard, you just came off as a faggot to some girl who thinks her brother is a faggot for being a neet and she wants you to turn him into an outgoing faggot at the least

>>25568238
>the girl actually want to use OP gay elter ego to help getting laid his gay brother
>OP think is going to lose his v-card to this girl

TOP FUCKING KEK