How is jail for robots? I'm going to serve 8 months in jail.

Depends on the country. Never been in prison but I imagine the American prison system is a lot more brutal than the one here in Ireland for example.

Are you in America?

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>>25567011
Jail is pussy shit. Prison is the real deal.

Never been but bumping because interested.

Most people in these kinds of threads say if you just keep to yourself you'll be fine.

what did you do, can I have your stuff

>>25567011
depends on where you love desu.

if u live in scandinavia prepare for a comfy 3 star hotel stay with much less worries about society.

I can't speak for burgerland though, but what I've heard, it's not that good.

>pick up da soap boipussy nigga

>>25567037
No,thankfully i live in eastern europe

>>25567011
if you're not alpha you'll get treated like this guy

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=69Ye4f-ysW8

>>25567058
live*

blox robot pls blox

If anyone tries to give you anything with seemingly no strings attached, it's too good to be true and nothing is free, you will be expected to return the favor in some way. Literally don't take a hit from anybody.

>>25567065
Oh, that also sounds shit but in a different way. Like I imagine the guards aren't as brutal but I imagine the prison is uncomfortable due to lesser funding. On the plus side, you won't get raped by blacks.

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>>25567065
You'r gonna die

Why are you going to prison.

Request solitary and spend the time expanding your mind.

You'll come out like a monk or some shit.

>>25567043
I was trying to steal a motorbike while drunk as fuck lol, there is nothing to give because i'm broke as a nigger

>>25567065
if its poland then you are not so fucked, prisons here look similiar to students dorms, free healthcare, quite good food the only problem you can ecounter are people

>>25567088
>I imagine the prison is uncomfortable due to lesser funding
>implying that prison funding goes towards making the prisoners comfortable
>giving advice when you have literally no idea when you're talking about

>>25567011
OP you've made some shitty decisions in your life and now you're going to jail.

Coming to r9k to ask for advice is another shitty decision you have made. I hope you've learned your lesson.

>>25567070
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F3c_-dde-wo

this motherfucker is hilarious i swear to god

>>25567111
Top kek so I'm not the only person who's thought about this

>>25567114
Ayy man.. i did the same last year but it was dismissed

>>25567065
>thankfully
What are you going in for?

Jail is easy peasy, nice living
My brother's in jail and my mom was able to get him a fucking TV and an IPad in there, she also gives him a fuckton of money so that he can buy all types of snacks and shit
He's literally living the golden life
Don't know about prison in Europe though...

>>25567179
Then why are Scandinavian prisons hotel-tier?

>>25567111
if by monk you mean ''batshit insane and unfit for society''

Jails in Germany are like a fucking hotel resort.

>>25567043
>>25567103
I tried to steal a motorbike while drunk as fuck lol. The thing is that i dont recall anything about that night. At first i was shocked when i got a call from the police but after awhile i didn't give a shit because i've got nothing to lose anyway

>>25567293

I'm surprised that the police even give enough of a shit to go after you if you live in eastern Europe.

>>25567272
Anon that's what real monks are
The ones you see in social religions are just a sham, a front to make people feel like their lives aren't devoid of higher meaning when actually they are, a compromise between the cold machine and the microcosms it contains

>>25567293
Your story is extremely unlikely and I dont believe it.

However I welcome the chance for a prison thread.

Another extremely unlikely thing because the average robot isnt capable of committing felonies.

>>25567251
Because they're libcucks

i was sentenced 10 days in jail, they let me out after around 17 hours. after i finally got booked and put into my jail clothes (pretty much like scrubs) i went into the dorms, it was after 11pm and everybody was sitting around a flat screen watching the walking dead i got to my bunk and chilled for about 45 mins until lights out. everybody went quiet and went to bed.

my bunk mate ws the only black guy in the place. he told me his name was cadillac... everybody was super chill and nice, lots of people came and introduced themselves. we got to watch tv, read books. and the breakfast was delicious.

lunch was a bologna sandwich.

>>25567224
Mexico jail?

>>25567224
I live in Estonia, i've heard that jails in here dont't have very good atmosphere because of the russians

>>25567334
1,5 years prison sentence, because of cocaine possesion here.

>>25567293
In which country? Ukraine?

>>25567462
tell us about your first day in jail

>>25567334
I didn't ask you to believe my story or not, i just wanted to ask advice/experiences

Honestly, asked to be put in protective custody. People will think you're a rapist, but when I was there, it was the most chill place.

>The food is okay or sometimes hardly anything at all
>People will be cool with you if you don't act like a dickhead
>Buying stuff like shampoo is expensive. (A one dollar shampoo goes for five)
>There's a TV, cards, board games, books.
>Bible study and AA gets you out of your cell. Our state has a program where you can get out of jail to work and then check back in
>Cells can be kind of chilly

>>25567549
>asking for pc

Listen to this guy and you will turn into this

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z8A85cl5w3s

>>25567553
This. Honestly, the guys I met in jail were some of the most chill guys I know.

>>25567440
American jail
I was just as surprised when I found out the prisoners are allowed to have this kind of shit, like what the fuck this isn't summer camp, it's prison

>>25567587
Mexijail is hell. Have to paid to not be raped or murdered. Sleeping in tiny cell in floor with other 5 to 10 dudes

>>25567587
It keeps them from getting violent. It is in no way like Summer Camp.

>>25567037
There is a HUGE difference between county jail and Federal prison. Having a short as shit sentence of 8 months means OP will be put in a middle security jail with a bunch of other lighter crimes/ sentenced people. Its when you go to federal prison and bump into lifers that you start having to worry about them assfucking you.

>>25567494
On the first day I was introduced to the general rules and stripped of all of my current possessions. Basically my clothes and my gold cross necklace. After that they inspected my body for any visible illnesses or prohibited items, like drugs or weapons. The personal belongings, that were allowed in the room were pictures (of the family etc.). They also offered me a Bible/Koran, but I declined. Religious books are generally allowed here. I shared the room with two other guys, one was sitting 2 years for theft and fencing, the other one 3 months for unpaid bills. So I was with two "soft guys". After that we talked a little, they wanted to know what I did, I asked what's like here and so on. I don't really get along with people and was bored most of the time. But I wouldn't say it was the worst thing ever, the prison had a supermarket with all kinds of things, chips, cake all that good stuff, you could work or go into training, there were board games, you could smoke and twice a week you could go outside for 30 minutes. The guards were generally nice to you, if you didn't insulted or tried to kill them. But it REALLY was fucking boring most of the time.

>>25567766
could you work and earn some money?

>>25567684
This hierarchy is mainly used in USA. In eastern europe there isn't separate departments for crime sentences

>>25567816
Yes, there were a variety of jobs, most of them mechanic. For example masonry, varnishing or carpenter. Physical jobs only. Pretty boring, but it was better than lying on my bed. You even got money, though not a lot (half of the minimum wage) which you could spend in the indoor supermarket.

>>25567292

confirmed for never been in a german prison or a hotel resort

>>25567292
you can leave hotels freely

>>25567088
>On the plus side, you won't get raped by blacks.
Yeah because getting raped by fellow whites is a step up

>>25567011
This what happens in jail when you owe money to wrong person
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vb81EUAGk4w

>>25568112
not gettig aids is pretty nice

I don't think my advice will help you much, but stay away from pregnant chicks because they're fucking evil and going to constantly want to be taking their hormonal problems out on you.

I hope you like to read, and are willing to read about anything, because that's the only fun thing to do.

Maybe start trying to practice not knowing the time, because that shit will drive you crazy.

>>25568117
Oh please. As if any prison in the world would allow cameras and rods.

>>25568174
>Going to jail
>Pregnant chicks
What?

>>25568226
Yes, pregnant women are incarcerated for their crimes too.

>>25568210
This is a clip from documentary what was filmed in young offender intstitution. There are more of them and they are real. A lot of prisoners use cellphones even when they aren't allowed

>>25568246
There aren't any pregnant chicks in men's prison(i wish they were lol)

>>25567011
butsecks

ALOT

OF

BUTTSECKS

>>25567011
>be me
>be neet
>be reader
>be gay
>be American
>be lonely and aimless
>be 31 and given up anyway
Would some kind of prison lifestyle be ideal for me? What sort of incarceration facility should I aim for? Should I go to another country?

>>25567011
Could you actually become a transgender, so you are jailed with women? Sounds pretty nice and maybe even sexytime?

>>25569813
>sexytime
Exactly. For a degenerate, prison could be the ultimate IRL dating sim.

>>25569736
Move to Norway, commit a crime and live like a king behind bars.

>>25569813

That's not how it works, they don't go for that SJW nonsense. If you're a male who identifies as trans, they put you in a separate wing with all the trannies so you won't get raped or killed by the regular inmates.

The worst thing about going to jail is informing my mom about it. Fucking hate myself for letting her down. I wish i could turn back time

>>25567011
Not too much
the only friends you should make are the ones you walk in with, that means none
See nothing, hear nothing, say nothing
Never tell, say anything to a guard, ever
Ask no one for any favors, of any kind, never, ever
If you did your crime alone, serve your time alone, leave alone
Never speak about what you did
Never join any groups, ever
Use the time to read, take classes, think on what got you to this point and what you will do to never have this happen again
You choose how you do your time, on your feet like a man, alone or on your knees like a bitch

>>25570763
>See nothing, hear nothing, say nothing
>Never tell, say anything to a guard, ever

This, holy fuck OP I can't stress this enough

>>25570763
That's a pretty good one

Yes, it's orig

>>25567011
Fucking boring man

A really fit Mexican girl punched me in the sides until I passed out then when I came to she had cleaned my glasses and put socks on my feet.

the county jail here in my part of socal is really nice. i actually hope to go back. its better than my life as a free man, honestly. 3 good meals, tv, weight room, library, get to play softball every day. fun group of guys. no complaints.

>>25570763

So don't even chit chat with people? What if they talk to you? Just ignore them or say "sorry I don't talk to people"?

DO NOT ACCEPT ANYTHING FROM ANYONE

Do your time and get out. No favors, no help. Just get your shit done.

>>25567011
Ask the guy from 2^3 who robbed a bank.
>>25567037
>>25567684
Here's one guys experience, he's not a robot though.
http://jimgoad.net/nicest.html

>>25567011
If my friend can survive some county jail, you can too. He is the biggest wimp I've ever met.

While you're there: read everything you can, work out, meditate. That's all he did and he said he came out a different man. Seems that way at least.

Prison is what you have to worry about.

Are western European jails comfy?
Can you request to be completely alone in you're not in a supermax or whatever? Like, no human contact whatsoever and just spend your time doing calisthenics, reading and meditating?

>>25570466
>kill 77 commie spawn
>receive shit tonnes of love letters
>sue the state for not having the latest playstation in your cell

Sounds like a plan.

If you are actually a robot it will be horrible.

I'm not going to give you any advice as it's all useless on the inside.

>>25567224
>tfw poverty med student
>prison is literally better than my life now

Let me guess, they even have conjugal fucking visits?

Don't look like a snitch, don't get involved in stuff, don't act like an autistic retard (just be yourself).

>>25571256
She sounds like a nice person.

>>25571256
>A really fit Mexican girl punched me in the sides until I passed out then when I came to she had cleaned my glasses and put socks on my feet.

errr.... what?