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You are currently reading a thread in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001

Thread replies: 522
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>Walking down sidewalk late at night and or in a secluded area
>Woman is walking ahead of you
>Unsure if passing her will scare her
>Slowing down will just make you look like a creepy stalker
>Start coughing loudly and make louder steps to attempt to make your presence known
>At the store, need to get two things for my mom
>Can't find the first thing
>"Oh well, at least I'll find the other thing"
>Can't find other thing

slap her ass a lil as you go by
>walk up stairs on all fours
>I was not the only one home
>At store
>Only need to get one thing
>Find it, but old lady has her cart positioned right in front of it
>Pretend to look interested in whatever is in front of me until she leaves
>She takes her sweet ass time while I stare at taco seasoning for 3 minutes like an autist
>She takes her sweet ass time while I stare at taco seasoning for 3 minutes like an autist
Too real
you want to know panic mode? i went to the movies with a girl at my work and tried to kiss her towards the end but she didnt move at all and i was already commited so i kissed her cheek. turns out she had a BF and didnt know i thought it was a date. every time i think of it i want to die. oh and i also sent a fat girl who used to like me a picture of my dick and she posted it on her facebook and called me a harasser and everything else and tagged my family in it.
Post screenshot of the comments / pic description
>with one friend and his friends i don't know
>he leaves to do other shit
i'd have to make a facebook account and friend her
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>oh and i also sent a fat girl who used to like me a picture of my dick and she posted it on her facebook and called me a harasser and everything else and tagged my family in it.

hoooly shit

literally my worst nightmare

I can't imagine how that must've felt.

Haha this is odd. You are treating woman like wild animal.
>cant leave because id seem like an awkward faggot
>cant stay because I am an awkward faggot
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> at store
> buying groceries for the week
> walk to cash registers to pay
> only one lane is open
> cashier is a qt
> get nervous and leave
> didn't eat dinner that night
>Walk down the street.
>Someone approaches.
>Eyes start watering for no reason.
They aren't?

Not at all, just like normal persons.
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>"Enjoy your pizza!"
>"You too."
"You sure walk slow"
fuggg, guys please stop
an animal can bite and claw, not that scary
a woman can turn three billion white knights against you
seriously why does this happen
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>Someone says something to you
>Face gets flushed and start sweating buckets

I do not think this is really matter, or are you afraid of person on internet calling you names?
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>be in public
>feel snot in tip of nose
>try to wipe it away without anyone seeing
>it won't wipe away
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>and it itches
For real why does that happen
New to this board but can relate to some post. How many of you have clinical social anxiety?
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>watching TV with other people
>video game commercial comes on

I don't know why this shit gets me so bad.
Almost all robots
>"Hey anon, don't you have that game for your Nintendo?"
>man I wish that kid would move away from the taco seasoning...
>got invited to go to a bar
>go to bar
>it's fucking loud
>waaaay too crowded
>finally find the person who invited me
>he's talking with a group of people
>look around while standing there and don't know anyone else
>stand there awkwardly and try to join into the group.
>Way too loud to focus on anything
>also way too many people
I take out a peace of para cord and start fidgeting/stimming/playing with it
>the guy who invited me to the bar finally finishes his conversation and tries to talk with me.
>can't really focus on what he is saying do to all the noise and people.
>after that fails, I try to go get a beer which was it's own adventure to accomplish
>finally get back.
>the person who invited me and the rest of the group he was with are now sitting at a large round rabble.
>there is no more room at the table
>I sit down by myself at a table next to theirs drinking and stimming/playing with a string
>end up getting a burger, fries, and another beer too and eating it by myself next to their table. while still plying/stimming with the string
>after a while the person who invited me to the bar and the group he was with leave
on his way out he apologizes to me (basically for inviting me) and says we should meet up at some point somewhere more quiet
>pay my tab
>then go home
>Hey anon you play some music
>Hey anon let's play cards against humanity (I have to read out the card sometimes)
>Any time someone is in close proximity

Just fucking kill me.
>at mall
>see what looks like my friend's oneitis, my friend has shown me pictures of her before but never have I met her irl
>keep looking as I walk past that person to figure out if it is her
>even though I was not close she notices
>she has two male friends with her
>stares at me for what seemed to be an eternity
>realize she doesn't even know I exist
>I start to blush for no reason
>the girl laughs
>her friends glance at me
>they have a mocking expression on their faces
>they walk away from there as if they were laughing and look back to see if I'm still staring
then I proceeeded to pretend to go buy the shit I needed like nothing happened but I was really anxious and tried to get whatever I needed as fast as I could and I've never seen her since, but shit was terrifying familia.
> have to speak honestly or just do something beyond giving a canned response
> tears well up in your eyes
> others are aware you are tearing up for no reason
> you have to pretend like it's not happening
holy shit dude that sounds terrible. I'm so sorry
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>go to dining hall alone
>get food, look for somewhere to sit
>the only seats available would make you sit right next to or across from someone
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>mfw its all too real

>friend has party at his house
>invites me, a known autist
>don't talk to anybody except the few people I know, basically have to follow them around
>party starts to die down
>girls suggest we a play a game where one person hums a song and the rest have to guess it
>it's my turn
>humming is shaky and sounds like shit
>nobody can guess it
>it was 'I like Big Butts'
>go downstairs to get my stuff and leave
you didn't drink enough booze to supress your autism
>>girls suggest we a play a game where one person hums a song and the rest have to guess it

that's the most retarded shit even by normie standards.
hot damn it's too early for this shit
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I need to know this too. I'm pretty much a normie and this shit still happens to me every now and then.
Fucking why?
so you just left your cart?
>walking down the street
>nobody around
>start to talk alone aloud
>someone appears suddenly while on the middle of some nonsensical shit
>nobody around
This is why people think you're retarded.
>Walkig outside
>See people
>Eyes start watering

Why the fuck does this even happen?
Im not sure, but i get this too
There must have been some research done on this at some point... If not then there needs to be.
This shit happens to me to and I don't understand it.
Is this a meme? I have serious anxiety and have no clue what you're all going on about.
>pretty much stop eating lunch from high school onwards since I can't deal eating in public
>have to contrive lame excuses to avoid having lunch with classmates who invite me out of pity
fucking lost my shit


>tense car ride or something
>someone coughs
>"b-bless you"
I have mild anxiety every now and again but it's a pretty common occurrence for me.

I can be walking to the store and I see a group of people walk past and my eyes start watering for no reason. Feels awkward as fuck.
Noticed how everything becomes so formal after that
>after that fails, I try to go get a beer which was it's own adventure to accomplish

Godammit, I'm so scared of going to bars because of this shit right here.

You did your best, bro.

crying is a form of communication. You're hurting inside, and even though you don't wish to express it on a conscious level, your brain sees the form of another human and your subconscious decides to shed some tears to show them you are not ok.
You aren't used to social environments. You're being overwhelmed with too much goddamn motion stimuli which causes your eyes to water.

I know because I'm in the same situation. You don't have to be autistic, you just have to be rather secluded.
I thought it might be something like that. I think it only happens after I haven't been out or seen people in a few days.
>>pretty much stop eating lunch from high school onwards since I can't deal eating in public

I got a stomach ulcer because for a year
>wake up not hungry enough for breakfast
>don't eat
>it's noon now, I have 3 hours to kill, everybody else is having lunch
>don't eat
>3 straight hours of classes
>don't eat
>1 hour of commute
>eat like a madman

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>sitting on the bus next to the window
>random person sitting next to me
>my stop is coming up and they still haven't got off the bus
>the dread of slowly accepting i'm going to have to squeeze past them
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>Be 10 minutes ago
>On Okcupid
>Almost given up on using site
>See a familiar word in a username
>Pic is of a generic brunette far away from the camera
>It's my bombshell coworker
>9/10 body and face
>Sperg out and delete account
>Now worried she saw me and will be awkward at work
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>in line at grocery store with mom
>she tells me to wait here, she forgot something
>it's almost my turn to get served
>she's still not fucking back
Would you say a whole onion and 3 egg omelet is healthy? i put only a table spoon of oil in the pan
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>walking near the front door just as someone knocks
>"Oh, get that will you anon!"
>Walking down sidewalk late at night and or in a secluded area
>dumb bitch is walking ahead of you
>give no shits and walk past the slow bitch

How beta do you have to be to consider her comfort to be worth more than your time or comfortable walking pace? Also, have you tried just being white and not fat?
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>Let the person with a shitton of groceries behind you go ahead
>She's back
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>female cashier
>have to look her in the eye-ok no
>now I am staring at her chest instead since y eyes moved down to avoid looking into her eyes hope she does not notice
>try to look at her again and find her still looking at you like a customer service person should
>start to blush and sweat and look at the ceiling
>realize I must look dumb but thankfully need to give her money now so I have an excuse to look at my wallet
>that one coin gets stuck somewhere just then and you have to really dig it out awkwardly
>blushing and sweating more
>finally hand her the cash
>accidentally aim wrong because you are nervous and some of the coins spill down
>stare at the counter while she picks up and counts the money
>fumble with the change when you receive it and try to look at her face and say thanks
>avoid eyes again and end up staring at her breasts again
>voice comes out weird because nervous
>want to move away fast from embarrassing myself even further
>almost trip on my own legs because I moved too fast
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>sat in living room playing vidya
>sister and her hot friends come in and sit down
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>So, anon, do you have a girlfriend?
Do you finish the game or end it there?
One time this happened to me but I was in my boxers lel
I just played for about 2 more minutes then made some bullshit excuse to leave
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>anon can I use your computer for a sec?
>4 rapes in the past 6 months all near my house
>most people think it's me
>a girl I hang around with says I just give off a creepy rape vibe
I dont even understand, I look fine, I'm a 7-8/10 on looks, but people who have never even spoke to me think I'm a fucking weirdo
>home alone
>have house to myself for the weekend
>browsing the interwebs in the tv room while watching tv.
>hear key turning
>door opens
>not sure what to do so I mute my computer, and the tv and stand up.
>hear my brother talking to someone
>hear two different women talking
they all enter my living room (the room next to the tv room.
>not sure what to do and I panic
>can't figure out weather to go in there and say hi or go back to tv/computer.
>un up freezing and just standing there for a few minutes untill one of the women walk into the tv room to go to the bathroom (witch is off of the tv room)
>she sees me and we are both startled
>end up going into the living room and try to have a conversation
>awkward as fuck
>end up just grabbing my computer and retreating to my room.
I was really glad I had on a full set of street clothes though and that I wasn't in pajamas or only wearing boxers at the time or something more embracing.
I was also really glad that I was only on my computer and watching tv and not playing with legos, playmobile, hotwheels or stuffed animals...
>be only child
>watching movie with parents
>sex scene comes up
>whole room is silent
>stare at the TV and wait it out

Heck,even a heavy french kissing scene is bad enough, I'm 25 and still feels awful.
Your friend is a dick.
I have a friend like you and I stop what I am saying and introduce you to the whole table, find you a chair next to me (if I know you don't know anyone) , and try to include you into the group.

Your friend is a dick.
>at party
>get to drunk
>someone puking in washroom
>really need to use it
>drunk me thinks its a fart
>long fart
>walk back to party
>realize I shit my self after I take my seat
>brain in overdrive and drunk
>I think its best if I wait til everyone is not Around to get up (can't get out of room with out putting dum in someone's face)
>keep drinking
>get really drunk
>forget about shit in pants
>girl on the floor next to me looks up and asks if I smell something
>drunk me smiles and says nope (unaware that I forgot ishit myself )
>she gets up leaves
>more and more people leave the room
>now its just me
>about to pass out and call it a night
>phone buzz
>Facebook message from friend (dude I think you shit yourself)
>my heart leaps out my chest as I put it all together
>I can over hear girls luaghing in the other room
>survival mod kicks in
>I take underwear from this guys dresser and pull down my pants and wipe (took about 20 minute it was sticky and I wanted it to be done right)
>after I'm done I toss it under the bed and walk on all causal like
> my friend walks up to me and asks 'dude are you OK?'
>I reply yah it ssmell real!y bad in that room tho
>gives me weird look
>go home
>next day open facebook and ...
>my friend had posted a picture of the underwear on my page saying he found out why it smelt bad
>type of lol wtf?
>wait 5 minutes for reply
>he comments back 'what in the fuck is wrong with you?'
>panic delete Facebook and never apply for collage or leave my house for fear of seeing someone that knows about it
>a year goes by I'm still here in my house I sometimes leave with a hoodie to make I look good to my mom but I just sit at MCD and eat lurk 4chan thgeads
Because of this I lost all of my friends and not one of them has asked if I'm OK or called me
>dad takes me to have a drink with his work buddies
>he makes jokes about fucking my mum and talks about how fit birds in the pub would be a shit fuck
how do I make my dad stop trying to be my friend?
I've worked in retail. It was hell at first but eventually I became numb to it.

Anyways when ever someone came in with these type of mannerisms I and co workers just assumed they were 420 blazed as fuck or high as some shit nervous that someone would know how high they were. The only time I recognized a fellow autist was if they dressed like one.
that's tough anon, sounds like you're having a shitty time chin up friendo
> When he starts searching something that starts with the letter P and google shows 10 pornhub links in the tab
I'm a wageslave with really bad social anxiety and this still happens to me. At least I don't have a job where I have to help people anymore. I tired that once and couldn't stop stuttering and having tears in my eyes.
I'm still used to being around all the people though but I still always feel dizzy and get tears in my eyes whenever I have to go out.
He's a bro, just really awkward.
One day he'll be dead, just humor him anon.
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You can't make this shit up

good point, this weekend he's coming to my flat to drink and play games he's a chill guy but when he gets around his friends he gets way too sexual for my liking
>Your whole future ruined over an unexpected shart

Good lord have mercy on this one.
That's a shit way to live anon
Holy shit bro
I don't know the shit feel but I know the estranged/just kill me/lose all friends overnight feels

So thats why my eyes start watering when i force myself to watch cringe videos
>drinking and playing games with your dad
Right in the feels my dad hates drinking and games, enjoy it anon!
yeah, I haven't talked to him or seen him since that night. Probably for the best.
will do (my comment isn't fucking original so I have to do this shit)
>Not speedrunning the rest of it and leaving the girls all impressed with your skills and tipping your fedora as you leave
>in hs
>smoked weed and drank because fuk u mum I'm fuckin gangsta
>sister brings her hot friend around
>sister leaves her friend with me whilst she goes to the shop (heavy rain so her friend didn't want to go)
>friend smells the weed
>offers me a blowjob for some weed
happened on several occasions, her latest friend seems pretty into me
>tfw not a robot just agoraphobic
this isn't exclusive to guys and reminds me of similar happenings

>waiting outside my apartment complex to get picked up by a friend
>sleepover so I have a suitcase and its like 11PM
>sitting outside leasing office where the driveway and main road intersect
>random white girl about my age approaches taking on her cell, not sure what she was doing outside
>she walks towards me while continuing her conversation and then goes past me into a sort of blind-spot closer to the leasing office doors
>at this point she basically pincered herself in to where she needs to walk past me again to go back towards the apartments
>I haven't moved this entire time, she gets off her phone and just sits down for a while doing nothing but staring
>stray cat comes by and I pet it, it walks towards her and she freaks out and scoots away from it
>5 minutes later she is back on the phone, cant make out what shes saying but she sounds hysterical
>2 minutes later fake apartment police show up and start asking me questions about what why Im waiting there, if I live on site, ect, ect.
>proceed to tell me that the girl thought I was intentionally boxing her in and threatening her so she called security
>when they talk to her she is crying and in hysterics like a fucking nutjob
>told them I had only been waiting for like 20 minutes to get picked up by a friends, live in apartment X, and did nothing to even acknowledge she was there
>she gets escorted back to here apartment like a crazy person without saying anything to me
>tfw 5'6" 130lb white girl

I wanted to chase that fucking bitch through the parking lot just to give her a legit reason to pull that shit. Hysterical victim complex. What did she think the cat was my familiar that I sent to kill her?
>visit stoner
>take a few hits
>high as fuck, cotton mouth, sit on his couch trying not to die
>suddenly some normalfag friends of stoner show up
>they stare at you
>awkward silence

>do something with smartphone
>friend peeks over my shoulder
>asks why i have grindr installed

>want to search my smartphone gallery for a cute pic of my cat to show it to my mom
>some fag sent me a pic of him sitting on his bed and spreading his buttcheeks in whatsapp
>the thumbnail is visible in gallery

>casually hang out with a few people
>feel a huge need to take a shit, cant hold it any longer
>hurry up as fast as i can
>still taking too long for just pissing
>come back
>they know what i just did
>awkward silence

>hang out with buddy
>he takes off his shoes and socks
>stare at his feet a little too long
>he notices it
My dad told me that my mum has a massive dildo and they never have sex anymore. Horrible mental images m8.
>be at vacation with mother and her husband in venezuela
>can't speak spanish at all
>my mom speaks a little
>she rents three chairs for us at the beach
>they leave
>i have to stay in the chairs with the stuff
>the guy who handles the chair comes up and starts telling me something in spanish
>i have no idea what he says but it's obvious that someone has done something wrong
>he keeps trying to explain
>everyone around staring
>after a long while the one guy that could speak english out of all those people translates and says we had taken the expensive kind of chair but just paid for the cheap kind
>mom and her husband didn't arrive until long after this whole ordeal
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not really social anxiety but still
>be me, drive everywhere with bike
>clean your nose by holding one nosehole closed with a finger and blowing out snot the other one, preferably directly onto the street, pathway
>do this so often while bikeing, it has become like a reflex
>constantly get people honking like retards because I snot on their precious car-hoods when on a red-light
>sometimes hit people who drive behind me and only hear loud curses afterwards
>allways enjoy it

Thank god I'm not riddled by social anxiety.
What the fuck mate, that's grim.
>be in a group of people
>the topic changes to sex and girlfriends and stuff
>everbody knows that i am the only virgin

>walk down the street
>nobody there besides me and a random girl
>girl says "hi"
>turns out she was talking with a blue tooth in ear head set thingy
>she gives me the fuck off weirdo stare
>What did she think the cat was my familiar that I sent to kill her?
once the person next to me had layed out an entire meal on the fucking fold down tray, they were a qt girl too
>use pc
>not so tech-savvy step brother comes in and asks me for some help
>he simply wants to download a picture from the internet and doesnt know how it works
>download it for him
>my default download folder is full of weird hentai, jailbait and other lewd stuff

>again use pc
>it's in my fathers home office
>browse NSFW stuff
>he comes in looking for some papers
>close firefox and stare at desktop doing nothing or clicking randomly for 3 minutes
You clearly enabled the cat to rape her.
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Some girls get so riled up by all their relatives and the communitys they spend time with, that they see anyone as a threat. Add to that the inborn selfcenterdness, which allways relates everything to themselves and a simple passer-by is only out for her.

Nearly got maced once because I walked behind a girl for about 13 mins.
It was early morning, so no buses were driveing and she lives in the same appartment-block as me.
She pulled that mace-shit out, sprayed and told me to back off and stop following her.
Was nowhere near in range, thank god.
Still see that crazy cunt sometimes, allways make sure to great her and smile.
>on a bus
>fold down trey for eating
Dafuq? Bitch were you on a bus or an airplane?
Hint: if it had wings and left the ground that's an airplane.
a train
you should make jokes about mace every time you see her.
ah, ok. tat makes sense. Also I would assume it's not a subway train but something like Amtrack or MARC.
>Walk up to friend's house, ring doorbell
>No answer
>Fuck he must have forgotten he invited me and left to go do something
>Go home
Apparently he just had his headphones on and the door was unlocked the entire time.
This isn't your fault. When someone invites someone else out, they become responsible for that person's comfort within a new group of people.

There's not a lot you could have done.
What kind of autist invites someone over then puts headphones on and expects them to just waltz right in?
>be 14yo me
>on bus going to school
>I got car sick a lot as a kid
> pulling into school I have to puke
>window is up
>end up puking in my hands
>bus pulls into drop off spot and opes door
>I run off the bus, into the school and through some hallways to get to a bathroom with my hand still covered in puke
>other kids starring at me as I run by
>luckily there were only a few people on my bus, and I don't think they really cared much (except for the bus driver and bus attendant who would have had to clean up any puke I got in the bus...), but they didn't say anything and neither did anyone else.
close friends

you ever have any?
>avoid old friend who got just too fucking autistic and slightly deranged for me to continue being his friend for three years, maybe more
>walking around in shopping centre the other week
>"YOU LOOK FAMILIAR!" as a hand comes crashing down on my shoulder
>flip the fuck out for a moment until I realise it's him
>incredibly awkward conversation follows for the next fifteen minutes
To make it worse I had seen him earlier, but thought it was just someone who looked like him because he was wearing glasses (which he NEVER had before) and had a beardy thing (which he ABSOLUTELY couldn't grow before). It was just awful. /r9k/, if you're avoiding anyone, always have one eye on the streets and notice EVERYTHING before it notices you.
I always greet them at the door
This has happened to me to many times
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2 days ago I think I entered or was about to enter the bad part of the city alone. Good thing I found my way back.
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>walk down street at night time
>wearing a robe because its cold
>cars drive by

My dad makes me do this often to pick siblings up from their cousin's house
if they can't sneak into your room, undress and crawl into your bed without you noticing clearly you're not that close
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>walking home
>see fellow building tenant walking towards me
>trying to decide whether to say hello or pretend not to notice them
>they say hello at the last second as i pass them
>turn around and and say "good and you?"
>walk faster and don't look back
>When it's my birthday.
>someone say to me "happy birthday"
"thank you, you too"
>on bus
>someone sits next to me
>become extremely tense because I don't want to accidentally touch them
i work in IT but hate talking to people

when i answer the phone my body heats up so violently the phone has literally dripped with sweat on more than one occasion
i always minimize tab when someone comes in even when i'm not even doing anything weird
>go into public bathroom
>stalls occupied
>all but one urinal is in use
>stand there with your dick in your hands waiting for everyone to go before you can piss
>went to football matches with dad as a kid
>great at pissing infront of people
>one of my est skills
>go into bathrooms
>make sure to get a urinal next to someone whos pissing
>look at there dick so they stop pissing cause they're nervous
>they look back at mine
>start pissing whilst looking straight at them
I've almost been beaten up more times than I can count also since I've been doing this since I was around 14 I can now only piss in public if people are near me/looking at me
When I read this I thought you stood behind people with your dick out waiting for them to be done so you could take their spot.
I did this once in NYC. I was walking down a sidewalk at about 11 pm because I was at a friends place and we ran out of drinks so I went to pick more up. As I was walking back a women was in front of me. I decided to pass her because I didn't think about it. Get beside her about 4 feet away and she screams and pulls pepper spray out and sprays it in my direction and runs. About 10 minutes later a cop car pulls up and I explain the whole situation. Damn fuck roasties
>some kid is getting wheeled out of school by the nurse
>"hey dude, are you okay?"
Why does this fucking happen. I'm sitting there doing good, then someone comes up to me and I get red as fuck. I always try to look away from them until it goes away, but I feel like that makes it worse than bringing it up.
disgusting fucking pig
>>walk up stairs on all fours
This is the correct and most efficient way to use stairs.
I pretend to drift off to sleep when this happens.

Last time it was Kevin and Perry go large at my aunt and uncles house, everyone including my mum and female cousins were watching it in the living room, since I am the only virgin in the family all eyes were on me.
Street clothes for you would be jean shorts, a Star Wars shirt, white new balances, white ankle socks, a fedora, wrist bands, and a horde necklace. not much better faggot.
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>be me
>constantly on edge when I'm in a public place that people who went to my school frequent
>always paranoid about seeing someone I know because I am literally terrified of small talk and I do everything I can to avoid bumping into people I know, even if I like them
>be in a fast food joint yesterday after coming home from college early
>order food, waiting
>''h-hey bro''
>guy who I've not seen in a year comes in
>his hand is kind of sticking out but not really, I interpret this as a handshake
>it wasn't
>grab his hand and give him a formal handshake like he's at a fucking job interview
>he and the fast food guy give me weird looks
the ride never ends, does it?
Sadly I think this one is true.
>hear noise I can't explain in the basement
>grab frying pan
>grab knife
>go all throughout the house yelling "I know you're here come the fuck out"
>house is clear
>spend the next 2 hours tense af because I still think someone's here
>ask a stranger a question
>no response
>not sure if they heard you or are just ignoring you
>ask again louder
>they totally freak out
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>seeing a girl you went out with a day before hugged up against another guy
>remembering she got close to you and touched you like that too
>that feel when you remember you thought it meant something when she did that
me too anon, gone for the failed handshake far too many times

I'm fine around complete strangers and thankfully live in a big city where I can blend in but whenever I'm in a localized area especially surrounded by people my own age I freak the fuck out
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>Can only sneeze by looking at a source of light
>Feel a sneeze coming on, but no nearby light source
>Start running with head tilted up trying to find a light
>Can't find it and end up failing to sneeze
>The sense of defeat is enhanced by the irritation and the worried or disgusted expressions of the people around you
>argumentative post on 4chan
>surge in adrenaline
>shivering and shaking in excitement after 10 minutes of exchange

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>That feel when this appears
reminds me of the time somebody broke into my back garden, woke up to the sound of the fence being kicked in and hear a bang on the window, run to the kitchen, grab a cleaver [and a fucking potato masher] and stand staring at the window for the next hour or so
nothing happened, they just kicked my fence in, broke into my back garden, punched my window and fucked off
either the shittest burglary attempt ever or they saw a bug on my window and sought to protect me no matter the cost
nice to see I am not the only photic sneezer here
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Panic mode story from years ago
>16 years old
>Got invited to a small gathering by old, old friend, vaguely knew people there, didn't know them all
>Get along okay with one bloke, talk to him mostly, due to the fact my friend couldn't make it
>We're all settling in nicely
>All in the kitchen chatting
>Door knocks
>Enters QT dressed very scantily
>She goes around hugging everyone
>See her out of the corner of my eye coming for me
>Immediately swing round, firing my hand out for a shake
>She's taken aback, but shakes, rather limply
>Immediately turn back to bloke while she tries to talk to me
>Loudly chatting to bloke about the quality of "scottish water compared to other nations", while she tries to interject a greeting toward me
>Visibly sweating buckets, with my face scarlet
>Friend notices and asks if I'm okay
>QT notices and asks if I'm okay
>Mutter and stutter and start drinking water
>Down 5 glasses in around 2 minutes
>They're looking at me
>"I-I have to go to the toilet
>Go to bathroom
>Panic, look around, see window, quite large for a bathroom
>Climb out, breathe relief and go home
>mfw left my bag there
>mfw I had to retrieve the next morning as my wallet was there with around 200 dollars cash
>mfw i never saw them again, despite them trying to organize stuff with me in it

Probably just sheer autism but Christ it haunts me
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>talking to qt female co worker
>she asks me a question
>don't understand, too much background noise
>ask her to repeat the question
>still don't understand
>don't want to look like a deaf autist
>just say "haha, yeah" and nod
>she walks off with an odd look on her face
>later find out she asked what I was doing after work
>out in public doing things
>"Hey, Anon long time no see!"
>turn around and see someone I don't recognize
>"U-uh y-yeah man, gotta go"
>speed walk away
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Fucking hell this killed me. I do the same with water though. I always carry around a bottle and start drinking when people talk to me
I'm socially awkward too but hate people like you. You try to be our "savior" when half the time all I wanna do is talk for a few minutes and then watch. You treat us very condescendingly and it's almost as bad as being ignored.
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>caught the late Amtrak back to school
>everyone on the train with me is picked up by friends, I'm left alone at the station waiting for a cab
>a normal person would have called ahead on the train, but I'm a dysfunctional retard
>even the desk guy has left and locked up by now
>train station is in the middle of nowhere and the entire area is notorious for heroin trafficking
>every little rustle in the bushes is an angry dealer looking to shoot me
>cab is still twenty minutes away
>phone is at 3% battery, going to die any second now
>freezing my ass off, have my hood up and my hands in my pockets
>suddenly a sedan pulls up into the lot and stops, facing me
>autistically reason that this is my cab and that the driver had somehow skipped twenty minutes' worth of driving
>start walking towards the car, nervous at the social interaction about to take place over the course of the ride
>as I get closer I see two blonde women in the front seats
>my retard brain slowly makes the connection that this is not, in fact, my cab, although I'm still walking towards it
>the two women look fucking terrified
>reach for the rear door and try to get in
>the sedan backs way the fuck up, spins around, and peels way the fuck out of there leaving tire tracks like some Fast and Furious type shit
>stand there like a retard for a while until I realize that I look suspicious as fuck
>they though I was a scary drug dealer instead of a pathetic, meek idiot who's scared of people and going outside
Fucking roastie whores.
are you me?

i fucking hate to eat when someone is around. i almost can't even eat dinner with my family... :(
How exactly is that panic mode?

You wanted to talk to your friend and some dumb bitch walks in and thinks that the party will immediately begin to revolve around her?

She should've climbed out that window and not you.
>walking to friends house late at night
>walking behind woman
>we arewalking the same route
>she turns around and screams at me
>feel bad for rest of the night

Realy, hope that bitch got raped for real.
I'm glad you approve anon!
It wasn't exactly like that anon. She came in, the focus immediately shifted as she greeted and said hello. When she walked over to me, being the betafag autist that I am, I tensed up and tried to move away, even though she was just being friendly. My friend was also trying to talk to her, but I couldn't stand the thought of me engaging with her so I made up a bullshit conversation and fled. She didn't do much wrong frankly.
That happened to me when I was with my dad and a girl came up to me. My dad thought I was lying when I said I didn't know who she was.
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What kind of gross third world shithole of a country do you live in?
>Doing something wrong

These are inseparable.
I would have felt empowered. Revel in their fear, it will help in the uprising.
>take one step at the time
>or do I look too faggy and should do two?
>end up alternating between two and one step like a retard
Oh good fucking god this is all too real
>Lunch at work
>Phone connected to work wifi so i can save data
>Decide to take a picture of a walnut tobacco pipe I just crafted to put on /diy
>Post it, then put phone away and read news on work computer
>Work phone rings
>Thick indian accent
>"Are you 4chan?"
>Full panic mode initiated, slowly, slowly, slowly hang up phone
>Oh god oh god oh god was that IT sniffin my packets?
>I was on /diy, and /o, and r9k.
>I KNOW i clicked /lgtv by accident, i always do when i am trying to click /r9k
>Delete all files on phone, disconnect from wifi and turn off data, set up new encryptions and passwords
>Maybe they were a scammer and they will blackmail me saying i went to /lgtv
>Ill beat them to it, if anyone says anything to me today, I'll just tell them im gay and that this is all a scam to stick it to oppressed gay people
>Boss walks up
>Personal phone beeps, new text. When I unlock phone autoloads the chans page
>"quick someone call this anon and tell him he made a cool pipe"
>"Nothing much boss, how about you"

" i think i look 7/8"
" people think i look like a rapist"
do you see no problem here? your just a ugly fucking loser giving of a rape vibe ha pathetic
>don't understand, too much background noise
This is the worst thing. I can be staring right at someone but if there's other shit going on I can miss half of what they said even with 100% focus. Is this autism?
>Go to restaurant with friend
>Waiter comes up, I think I know him, start talking like I know him
>Waiter is confused
>Turns out I'm just bad at recognizing faces, I don't actually know him
>Slowly realize this
>Have to finish meal with waiter occasionally coming to table
>I am in hell
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>Qt girlfriend of a friend talking to me because drunk
>In loud bar
>Thick Scottish accent
>Have to juggle talking to a qt, not hearing or understanding her and making sure my "yeah's" and "no's" are contextually correct as well as dealing with her bf giving me the whole jelousy eye thing

Fuck it
>people being nice to me, hugging me
>lips start trembling and I have a really forced, panicky smile
>they all notice

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>enter store to find thing
>cannot find thing
>realize I'm walking around the store without buying anything
>"they probably think I'm stealing"
>start feeling the panic
>accidentally look at cameras
>"now they know"
>decide to leave
>dead sure they think I'm robbing
>try to leave as unsuspecting but also as quickly as possible
>don't go back for a whole month

I can't possibly be the one who does this
>Always skip lunch because the sandwiches my mum makes me taste awful
>Sitting in class in the afternoon
>Stomach starts growling
>Suck my stomach in and try to suppress the sound
>The person next to me clearly notices them but isn't saying anything
>They keep getting louder and louder
>Instinctively jolt forward whenever it happens
>Keep drawing more attention to myself
>No fucking clue what to do
>Spend the rest of the day tensing my stomach and hoping it stops
>it's degenerate fetish stuff
The horror
>in school music department
>find piano
>start playing
>sounding good
>someone notices and wants to listen
>instantly suck shit at playing piano

I know a guy who has the same birthday as me so I can actually do that with someone
Feels good
>having an argument on 4chan
>you utterly destroy the other guy while other anons are backing you up
Probably the greatest feeling
this happens to me aswell, i feel like a pussy afterwards
I always get really nervous when people ask me things and I get flustered and forget
>Decide to go and visit someone I knew from high school for the first time in years
>Knock on their door while smoking a cigarette
>Should probably point out that I look like a homeless rapist at this point
>They don't answer
>Knock again, ring the doorbell
>They don't answer
>Do an about turn and leave their driveway
>The moment I turn around a high school girl wearing a short skirt is walking past
>She's going in the same direction as me
>Walk behind her, slow down a little
>She keeps pretending to check her iPod but is clearly looking back at me
>We reach a turning point
>I need to turn right, please go left, please go left
>She turns right
>I'm still following her
>The one time I unintentionally look at her legs she turns around and notices
>Speeds up
>I lose sight of her
>Thank god
>Walk into store to buy a drink
>She's fucking in there
I stared at frozen pizzas for 15 minutes then bought my drink and left. Never saw her again, thankfully. Cashier gave me a weird look so I think the girl complained that I was stalking her or something.
Fucking hell, and I thought it was just me. I feel like people in the room are thinking "this is the shit anon plays? Wow"
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>be male cashier
>a group of 5 stacies are coming to my lane full speed smiling and laughing with each other
>they all have separate transactions
What you probably meant to say was
>having an argument on 4chan
>I get fucking destroyed but the other guy gets downboated to hell because there's lots of other retards in the thread sharing my opinion
>later post in a different thread bragging about my victory
I wouldn't be surprised if it was you I obliterated
Stay bitter
Not even I'm that autistic...
Why don't you fuck off to reddit where you can be supported by other redditors all you want as long as you spout the hivemind-accepted opinions
Holy fuck what is wrong with you people?
I was actually arguing with a normie moralfaggot but sure
>other druggards, psychos and sociopaths supported me so that means I won and I'm great and amazing
now I want you to go to >>>/b/
you'll feel right at home with the other edgy teenagers
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Struck a nerve huh
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>be autismo
>pretend your autismo is actually complex banter
>be popular

good feel
>>at party

Reap what you sow
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>2nd year of uni
>finally decide to drink lots of alcohol during freshers week
>find a group to hang with
>not really doing well in terms of convo but hopefully they just think its nerves
>flat party after coming back from pub
>in my drunk-ish state, I become talktative as fuck and start talking to everyone
>they seem happy, even some of the girls giggling, smiling at me, i'm thinking they're drunk and i'm doing pretty well.
>don't pull cos fat autist
>finally go home after all girls leave, and just few guys left rambling aimlessly while drunk as fuck.
>as im taking off my clothes, I realise my jeans were completely unzipped and part of my boxers were poking out in which a part of my ballsack was showing.
>I barely sat down that entire night, so I basically showed everyone who looked at me my balls.
>panic and avoid everyone over next couple of days, as girls giggling when they pass me.
fuck, anon, I actually find that pretty fun
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my eyes always start watering whenever i have to be on a photo :I
>tfw someone starts talking to me
>do good for a few seconds
>oh god my eyes are dry as fuck
>need to look away for a second
>neck is tense as shit
>look down at phone
>head twitches down, look at phone while closing my eyes, head twitches back up and stare at the other person with eyes wide open
>tfw they probably think I'm a fucking skinwalker or some shit
>someone says something to you
>chuckle out of awkwardness and ask what
>end up being labeled as the guy who laughs all the time
>he said that to you
>cute tall girl is staring at me
>my fetish

She's clearly attracted to me. WHAT DO I DO.
Lad own that shit don't be embarrassed. I've got a big ol' ego but I understand that I have to laugh at myself sometimes. If this happened to me I wouldn't meekly confess to it on 4chan I'd use it as a funny story to tell people I'm drinking with. We all do stupid shit when we're drunk so the people you tell it to will for sure relate to what your saying.
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too real my dude

these hit me the most
>be male cashier
>I've never thought to myself "Gee I wish I was dead" more than when I'm at work

Trendy 'tism is best 'tism
Fucking this. Thought I was le only one.
>bus ride home on
>suddenly get really sick feeling in my stomach
>quickly get my water bottle out of my backpack and drink some
>forgot that it was sparkling water
>bright orange puke starts shooting out of my mouth right after that
>goes straight down the middle path
>I was sitting in the back so the vomit was flowing down the path like a river of stench and disgust
>all people in the bus turn around and look at me with a horrified look
>the bus just reached a stop so I got up and wanted to get off even though it wasn't mine
>fucking bus driver keeps doors closed, makes me clean up the entire bus with pages of a newspaper
>all those fucking people watching me while I'm scrubbing up my vomit for about 30 minutes

worst day of my life so far
>girl talks to me
>get hard on
This happened on Tuesday
>exams at school
>study leave so we only need to go in for exams
>normie friend who can drive gives me a lift there and offers one back, along with another girl in our class
>I say sure because anything is better than walking home in the rain
>get into car, they are in the front and I am in the back (4 seater)
>girl says "is it ok if we pick up my friend from (different school that is close by), we are going for lunch somewhere
>he agrees because he is the type of guy who will do anything for girls
>I start silently panicking in the back because the only spare seat is next to me, and the car is pretty small and cramped
>I am pretty much silent all the way to where this other girl is getting picked up, heart is racing
>when we stop at the school and it gets in, it's pretty obvious she is a classic example of a popular stacy
>squeezes in the back next to me, says hi to me and my driving friend
>sperg out and mumble "H-hi"
>on the drive to this cafe they were getting dropped off at all I can concentrate on is how I am sitting, sitting solid as a fucking rock in the seat so I don't accidentally touch her when we turn a corner, not making eye contact, can feel myself sweating
>finally arrive at place they were going to have lunch and they get out
>friend drops me off at home and I just sit and breathe for like 5 minutes
I know it doesn't seem like anything to most people but the whole experience was stressful as fuck, I wish I could be normie in situations like this but I think I am cursed to forever be a socially autistic robot
This has happened to me so many times before. I used to be an Army Cadet (Think boy scouts for teenagers). And the big camps were filled with chavs. Since being a cadet gave them something to do other than throwing rocks through peoples windows and setting cars on fire. To cut a long story short I know how it feels to be completely unable to integrate within a group of people.

Did you ever meet up with that friend again?
trying to hum that song now and failing, why would you pick that of all fucking things
>"now smile for the picture"
>can't smile for the life of me
Oh god the first feel has happened to me multiple times before, I want to die.
>Watching movie with mom
>it's Girl With the Dragon Tattoo
God damn it I thought I was the only one who still did this.
so how is scottish water compared to other nations lel
>hey this is anon, he fucking hates it when I introduce him to others, fuck me right?
look him in the eyes and call him a faggot.

say something like "if i was you, id fuck mom right in the pussy i would"

psych him out or something, do it and he'll never bring it up ever again.
>first day of new semester in HS
>man I hope I have some known friend groups in my lunch period
>know literally no one there
>afraid to eat alone again like freshmen year
>to awkward to hang at some classroom til class is over
>hangout out in bathroom stall like a creep for lunch the entire semester
>"anon where do you go at lunch time we never see you"
I wrote Tool lyrics on the bathroom stall like a fucking psycho
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hahahaha oh christ. im sorry bro I guess it could happen to anyone but really just switch towns and forget about it.
now I feel good about getting super-rapey when drunk

There's a lot of counter-intuitive stuff you have to do in that situation.

If the option is available definitely duck out. It will make you seem weird but it's better than sticking around and being awkward.
In the end they will probably think better of you for opting out of potential awkwardness.
Keep in mind they've been left in a similar situation: their friend has also left them with a stranger, although they're probably in a group.

If you choose to/have to stay:

Try not to engage. Just listen. Answer directly when spoken to. Don't volunteer anything. DON'T HAVE OPINIONS.
They will think this is weird and may even ask why you're so quiet. Just shrug.
If there is a girl just don't talk to her. Worst case scenario is she thinks you're shy. Better than being called a creep.
Weird quiet guy is better to them than weird guy who spills his spaghetti everywhere.
Get a good feel about how this group interacts before doing anything.
With luck, you'll buy enough time for mutual friend to return and hopefully back you up.

Keep in mind, no matter what in this situation, that friend owes you one. Remind him.
Also keep in mind I'm assuming your friend's friends are normies/cyborgs at worst.

photic sneezer master race checking in
There's an emergency button just above the door if something like this ever happens again.
t. Roastie Barbosa

That "friend" should have payed your tab. That's disgraceful even by normie standards.
Allergies you fucking retards.
ult kek
>At store
>Unsupervised small child starts talking to you
hello me, it's me again
>you receive a phone call from a number you don't recognise

I try to go grocery shopping at like 1-3 AM to avoid shit like this, and there are STILL people there with their fucking kids.
did u say yes?
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>like girl
>hang with her a couple times
>really like her
>makeup situations and conversations with her in your mind instead of making a move
>mostly when in bed can't stop thinking about her
>can barely talk with her when meet her irl because get too nervous and anxious
>Same here
>Be at russian collage.
>She's not even good looking, probably 5/10
>She's from Turkmenistan.
>But she works out.
>I'm arab (though it isn't a problem because a lot of arabs here seem to have an easy time with women
>The only interaction she had with me was when she literally laughed at how ugly I am.
>She most likely thinks I'm a retard.
>start imagining the woman being startled and pepper spraying you
>imagine holding her down and calling the police but you still get the blame

RRRRREEEEE every fucking time, every time this happens I have this fantasy play out and I ALWAYS LOSE
this use to fucking happen all the time in elementary FUCK

>brings back the memories
>leaving office where I work, locking the door behind me
>woman leaves office opposite mine
>"Hey, you know you can just lock that from the inside and shut the door right?"
>didn't expect her to speak to me, surprised
>tell her that "y-yeah I know"
>"Ugh just let me show you-" she moves in to "fix" the door
>hurriedly walk back into the office, blurt out that I FORGOT SOMETHING ANYWAYS THANKS BYE
>slam the door in her face and walk to the back of the office
>eat chips and browse r9k for 10 minutes before leaving again
>go to a party with some bros
>get really high
>sit down on the spic host's weird couch
>dude who everyone knows I don't like sits on the arm of the couch next to me
>some roastie comes and flirts with him
>I'm tilting over at this point from the weed and annoyance
>girl starts giving him a weird shitty lap dance
>he looked even less like he knows what he's doing than I do
>pull out my phone
>dude is leaning back and practically laying on my side while roastie infects him
>tell gf about this shitty instance through text
>it's fucking hilarious
holy fucking shit
I'd probably commit sudoku right there
my entire body in orbit
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>notice someone looking at you
>start walking manually
>arms feel like giant awkward sausages
wow it's fucking nothing
good job normie
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i capped this one, it deserves some recognition...
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>someone asks me a question
>don't catch it all
>just nod along
>they ask a follow-up question
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>people starts talking about sex like it's a normal thing everybody except you does

amazing story anon
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>walking home from uni
>have a problem which i cant see something clear after 10ft
>see guy I know from far away
>he always say whats up to me so I wait
>he didnt say anything
>hes like 3 feet from me now
>I get close to him and ask how hes doing
>mfw is not the guy
>mfw he awkwardly says hes fine and ask who I am
>i ran away in dispair
youre not alone, i also feel the same way even when im buying stuff
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>people who you've just met start joking about sex
>so anon, what's your story?

There is no greater feel
This is one of the most mysterious wojaks to me. what the fuck is entailed. What's going on.

Maybe my thought direction itsself is what's going on. Overthinking something and having the thoughts themselves manifest in your physical discomfort.
Not your fault, he should've introduced you properly.
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What about the feel when family members in some form or another says
>when you have a wife and kids one day you will xx
How can they be so naive
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>when they think you're gay because they can't explain your virginity in any other way
>anywhere in public
>another guy tries to size you up for no apparent reason

This happened recently

>after movie
>go to urinals
>wait behind dude at urinal
>some grabs my shoulder
>can't you see the line!
>literally fucking yells at me for not seeing a blob of a lind
>tell the dude not to piss himself
>he gives me a death stare and says watch what you say

Is this a Manlet thing?
>when they still believe you will end up with a girlfriend
>when i said i'm too ugly for a girl
>my stepdad said
>lower your standards
Yeah right, because that will work out. Even a not very good looking girl wants Chad, and why the fuck would do anyone think i'd be happy with settling for a fat girl or someone i don't like at all?
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Its like in anime where something dramatic happens and u get different reaction shots of different people
did you beat him up?
>thinking of a person i had to interact with (shop assistant or whatever the fuck else)
>only his/her shoes come to mind
>try to remember what his/her face looked like
>can't because i've never had the balls to make eye contact
Don't be ashamed to take a shit. It's perfectly normal.
I used to be that guy. Now I crap like a pro
>Open Wikipedia
>Random page

Problem solved
These panic modes and sweat modes get amplified if you stay home all day. The quest to become a normalfag lets you get rid of 80% of those situations
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I never wore jean shorts, a star wars shirt, a fedora, or wrist bands. I haven't worn white new balances or white socks since 10th grade. After that I switched to black new balance 574s and black socks.
nor would I be wearing shoes or a hat in my own house. I usually don't wear socks in my house either unless my feet are really cold.
How about you make your own sandwich?
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Hello reddit!
Feel free to kill yourselves
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>implying i'm reddit
I just thought it was funny, so you fuck off to reddit.

>having these opportunities to begin with

I understand they're painful to deal with, but at least you get to deal with them.
I wonder what chad would of done
Probably walked out by the time he was standing/sitting alone and talked to some babe on the street.
I probably would have used the emergency door release, or if that wasn't reachable, then I probably would have run to the back, and exited through the rear emergency door and run home
I was thinking about just leaving, but I had taken the metro to get to that bar and didn't want to have made the trip for nothing.
Also, then my mom might have asked why I was back so soon.
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>at a concert with friends
>get separated from them
>stand next to a short blue eyed qt
>trying to think of something to say
>she offers me some gum
>we talk about music/bands
>definite flirty vibe happening
>trying to think of a way to ask for her number
>she leaves early because of her friends
>touches my arm as she leaves
>"it was nice meeting you"
I still think about her. Emily pls come back
>meeting boyfriend of girl I like
>shake his hand extra hard
I used to listen to tool
>invited to bar with friend and his colleagues
>they are all mid 40s
>talking about their teenage kids
>"now that my son is 18 he needs to get a job and find somewhere else to live. i'm not having him hanging around the house forever like a loser"
>other guys nod in agreement
>one turns to me
>"so anon, what do you do?"
>tfw neet for 10 years now living with mom
>neck pulsates
>face goes red
>"i work... from home..."
>guy looks unimpressed
>get ignored for the rest of the evening
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>turns out she had a BF and didnt know i thought it was a date.
Oh, she knew anon, she fucking knew, she just wanted to use you to probably make her boyfriend jealous. Most likely already cheated on him too
>oh and i also sent a fat girl who used to like me a picture of my dick and she posted it on her facebook and called me a harasser and everything else and tagged my family in it.
>doing anything for a fat chick
>posting on facebook
Dammit, anon you dun fucked up now. Cancel your account/Get off of Normiebook while you can. At this point your going to seriously have to work to save your ass. If she says you harrassed her and anyone in authority (like cops) take it seriously, I'd recommened lawyering up and crack open the Bible a couple times or two, your gonna need all the help you can get
I also used to listen to Tool
>visit stoner
>take a few hits
>high as fuck, cotton mouth, sit on his couch trying not to die
>suddenly some normalfag friends of stoner show up
>they stare at you
>awkward silence
Who gives a fuck

>do something with smartphone
>friend peeks over my shoulder
>asks why i have grindr installed
Why do you have grindr installed anon?
if gay realise its 2016 and they dont care
if not gay make a joke about it or something

>want to search my smartphone gallery for a cute pic of my cat to show it to my mom
>some fag sent me a pic of him sitting on his bed and spreading his buttcheeks in whatsapp
>the thumbnail is visible in gallery
What did your mom see it or something? kek

>casually hang out with a few people
>feel a huge need to take a shit, cant hold it any longer
>hurry up as fast as i can
>still taking too long for just pissing
>come back
>they know what i just did
>awkward silence
"Sorry I had to drop some friends off at the pool"
>hang out with buddy
>he takes off his shoes and socks
>stare at his feet a little too long
>he notices it
"you have hobbit feet"
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>at a concert with friends
>approach the counter of a bakery to get a closer look at what is available
>person behind the counter immediately asks what i would like
>can feel them staring at me
>neck spasms as i scan the shelves making me look like i have the palsy
>i cant see anything that i want
>feel like an asshole if i walk out empty handed
>point to random thing
>shuffle around for too long in wallet for cash
>blushing and sweating
>pay and walk out as fast as i can
Give her a your a bitch stare and say "gay headset"
what the fucK? fuck off normie
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>have to make phone call
>have panic attack for 2 hours
>family wants pizza
>dad makes me call to order it (this was before online ordering was common)
>have to make the call in front of family members staring at me expectantly
>the phone line is shit and that coupled with my weak voice leads to me having to repeat myself several times
>stutter comes out in full force
>manage to get out "g-g-garlic b-bread" before dad sighs and snatches the phone from me to complete the order
>go to bedroom and hyperventilate
I have mastered the art of ordering food by phone, by necessity. It's pretty easy to pretend it's an answering machine on the other side, since they are programmed (trained) to always ask the same questions.

I can't make a call that doesn't involve a monetary transaction though.
Fucking this
>porn on desktop
>porn in /download
>fucked up stuff pops up in search bar
>youtube reccomended videos / watch again are Japanese ASMR cringy shit

>I could have avoided this by checking [x] don't show hidden files and deleting browse history but it's too late now
>tfw so beta that no one even tries to have bantz with me anymore
I don't know if it's because they're scared of offending me or what, but I never get anything back from anyone I know even when I say stuff first
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>scroll through thread
>only read posts with multiple replies
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>not having a backup dummy browser for normies
Your get is lost on you.
I also, also used to listen to tool.
>At a Rush concert; I'm still in high school and 15 years old
>Some ugly 50 year old woman stung out of her mind on drugs approaches me
>"Hey, do you mind if I get freaky with you guuuuuuuuuyssssss?"
>Doesn't wait for a response, starts grinding on me
>Freak out and push her away, she falls down the steps in the aisle (Hollywood Bowl)
>Everyone is giving me the stink eye
>5. Gibberish at the end of a post to force originality may result in mod intervention (no BLOX posts please).
Rewording your posts is not that difficult, pal.
>New years eve
>Drive home and get there around 3AM alone
>Group of 6 blacks walking infront of my house
>Drive around the corner, turn off lights, and wait
I should really get to buying that gun
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>get a job
>office christmas party
>drink some alcohol
>suddenly standing still and holding a beer can doesn't feel autistic
Thanks alcohol
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For those who can handle normie probs:
>Be me.
>At gf's house for dinner on New Year's eve
>gf's family is wary of me, even after almost 2 years
>on edge and expending herculean effort holding back autism
>Her dad and I exchange some relatively forced banter. Still a good sign though, things are okay.
>watching college football w/gf and her dad in living room.
>doorbell ring
>gf and rest of her family get up to greet visitors
>I stay on the couch, assuming they'll leave.
>neighbors are visiting and joining for dinner
>already on edge and expending herculean effort holding back autism being with gf's senpai, wasn't ready for this
>both families gather in kitchen
>escape from couch to FOB guest bathroom
>splash water from sink onto face
>"You will NOT screw this up, anon. Get it together."
>dry face, head into kitchen
>both families have joined into one massive circle facing eachother
>they all turn and look at me
>attempt to greet them and join the circle, clumsily knock into two people and a chair trying to move to my gf
>in the middle of the circle, all 9 people staring at me
>feel the blood rush to my face, beads of sweat immediately form on my forehead
>gf's mom says dinner is on, trying to save me
>other matriarch condescendingly asks if I'll be able to make it to the dinner table

so autismo with le gf XD

why are you not using incognito?
Go fuck yourself shitskin
>tfw stutterer since birth
is there anything worse? how am I supposed to be a man if I can't speak?
nobody gives a fuck normie
lol epib!!!! cringed :D mind fi I screencop?
>Need someone to move out of the way to get somewhere
>Just stand and stare at them until they realise and move instead of asking them politely to move

Sometimes they don't move and then I'm fucked. I have a similar problem when I get caught behind a group of people walking slowly and I can't get around and I always end up fucking manually breathing to try and like hide or some shit despite walking right behind them.
>since I am the only virgin in the family all eyes were on me.

How do they even know?
everyone knows if you're a virgin
>sitting in Uni classroom an hour before class starts
>completely alone
>listening to music w/ headphones in
>a qt girl comes in and sits in the row below me
>start getting self-conscious that I'm breathing too loud(I still have headphones on so it's hard to gauge)
>stop breathing altogether for fear that I'm annoying the girl
>eyes start watering
>face turns red
>girl turns around in her chair
>starts asking me a question
>at that moment, I couldn't hold my breath anymore
>start gasping for air with tears streaming down my face
>yank my headphones out
>"wha-what were you asking...?"
>"Oh, um. Nevermind."
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>still have a normiebook
>never logged out in years
>watching porn on some site that has a Share button overlayed on the fullscreen
>accidentally click but don't notice
>proceed to enjoy my window into the life of a trap railing some girl
>wake up the next morning to an email saying "You have a notification blah blah"
>read it
>people are commenting on my post pretty much with disgusted hatred and "DELETE THIS" all from people I knew from high school

At least he apologised
just say your facebook got hacked, always works :^)
rape her

>stand behind stacy because i want to leave the room
>waiting there for like 2 mins before she notices
>you don't have to be so shy, just say something anon

>grocery shopping
>know more or less exactly what I need and which aisle everything I need is in
>in store
>people walking around with their thumbs up their asses, browsing everything
>some people don't even have carts or baskets, just walking around with their hands picking up produce and admiring it
>person in check out line talking with cashier about nothing
>their transaction is complete but they continue to talk holding up line
>tfw online ordering still hasn't come to my town

>Start humming it ain't me

you failed anon

>playing vidya alone
>doing well
>female comes in room
>Start doing shit
>skinwalker or some shit
I wouldn't worry about those, they're totally not real. I guarantee it.
>not attemping to make her scared

gtfo normie
>have headphones in outside
>always pulling one out and checking normies can't hear my shit tunes
>paranoid they can and are mocking me behind my back
>doing a food shop after work
>already tired
>shop is very busy
>feel self getting more stressed
>get everything I need
>queues at every till
>pick a self-service one to avoid any interaction
>get to my turn after like 20 mins
>every other item: "unexpected item in bagging area"
>the assistant has to come and sort out the till every time
>feel responsible for the delay to the people behind me, despite it not even being my fault
>increasingly stressed
>hurriedly cram everything in bags
>rush to pick everything up when I'm leaving, only thinking of how much I must be slowing down the people behind me
>they probably don't care
>sit in car for 5 mins before driving, to decompress and chill
>wonder when I became so incapable of dealing with people, when I only had to interact with one anyway
Pretty sure it's got like this as a result of spending so much time inside, away from people. But then dealing with people stresses me, so I need to be able to relax as well.

>tfw someone's post about greeting friends at the door makes you realise that you haven't ever invited anyone to your flat, and everyone would be "too busy" even if you did
>Someone behind you says something to you
>Neck gets so tense that you cant turn your head


>Sitting in a bus/car or whatever next to someone
>Suddenly get stiff as a board and when try to move you just shake

is this shit normal? everytime i get anxious my muscles get twitchy and shit

>they address you by your name
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>not always listening on max volume
>not annoying the normies with your superior taste
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>Be me last night
>At work party, friend of a friend and I are hitting it off
>Get some liquid courage
>Ask her if she wants to make out
>She stutters and says "Umm, nah, I'm good"
>"Okay..see ya"
>mfw she knows my girlfriend
>sitting with someone i know one to one
>another guy turns up and i get ignored completely
>group of normies follow along after him
>too awkward to just jump into conversation with a stranger so i end up slinking away and hope no one notices
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>tfw when gay
>mfw I look past women
>mfw walk behind, beside, and in front of women without even thinking
>mfw I don't give a fuck
I wish I could become gay at will
wait a minute. I do that now.
>tfw you despise women and you actively enjoy the women hate threads
>tfw if a girl as much as look in your direction or smiles at you or interacts possibly with you or you see a qt girl outside your heart goes moist and you imagine life with her
fuck you biology. Stop making me attracted to them please.
I do this now and I'm not gay, you just have to lose all hope
Sexism comes from ignorance.
Being gay doesn't mean you hate women. I just don't stare at them because I don't feel sexual pleasure from looking at one.
or be ugly
Well, being ugly certainly contributed to losing all hope.
Arabs fuck off, shitskin
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>manager comes over to my desk to talk to me
>phone vibrates
>he sees my Love Live wallpaper
>doesn't even tell me off for having my phone out
>just looks at me in disgust for a few seconds
>carries on talking
>mfw revealed my weeb level in front of fellow wagies
>Love Live
You like anime, they're so unhappy they judge you.
Fuck them! They're just projecting their own insecurities at you. Love yourself, robot.
Because we love you.
he was probably judging your shit taste in anime anon
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>wear headphones in public
>someone tries talking to me
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>be me
>be sitting on a couch in a library
>girl I talk to occasionally starts walking towards me saying hi with a big smile on her face
>I look up and say hi back
>she walks past me and starts talking to the guy right next to me
>she doesn't even look at me once
>watching idol shows
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>someone tries talking to me
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>get tinder in a drunken whim because lonely
>start to go through in my state
>no results so far so just shrug it off
>go to sleep
>wake up in the morning
>bunch of notifications saying I have matches
>too scared to pick up my phone
>throw it across the side of the room scared
>realize how pathetic I am
>muster courage to look at matches
>all bots
It's always a stranger, asking for directions or some shit.
At least it gives me an excuse to ignore them, if I even notice.
>someone wearing headphones
>music so loud I can hear it from several feet away
>they ask me a question then stare at me, awaiting an answer
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Got something in common with them at least.
was there any nico pussy in it
>Huge crush on girl all throughout HS
>Hang out a lot, fill the role of beta orbiter best friend
>go out of my way to do stuff for her, emotional support constantly, but never advance beyond friendship
>graduate, end up going to same small college
>figure that this is my chance, clean slate
>she starts hanging out with some college Chad
>one day, her car breaks down
>I drive nearly an hour to give her a jump
>get there, she's sitting and laughing with Chad and a big group of people
>apparently campus security can give people jumps, but she had to wait for me for nearly an hour because I told her I was already on the way
>Chad and his friends kept her company
>She thanks me awkwardly
>I try to joke with her to lighten the mood, mumble awkwardly
>Chad puts his hand on my shoulder, tells her not to be mad at me
>says that it's clear that I was "desperate to play the hero"
>"it's obvious that anon has a thing for you"
>friend laughs
>group laughs
>just kill me now senpai

Later found out that she told Chad that she was interested, but he turned her down. He could have had her and didn't even want her.
>tfw you can easily identify bots on sight now
>tfw you assume that anyone you match with while you're swiping is a bot
>tfw you don't even message girls on there any more, because you've had it for months and got nowhere, despite messaging plenty
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>getting matches on tinder
>tfw no robot guidebook, for navigating these situations
>tfw no RobotGlass connected to a thread and a live stream, so we can all over-analyse the situation and give him pointers

Not really sure there was any way to play that off desu. Maybe by enthusiastically going along with it, and agreeing with everything Chad's saying, in a way that makes it clear you're being sarcastic/joking. Probably wouldn't work if you're obviously beta though.
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>his problem is his looks
>his problem isn't his broken personality
>have facebook or some normal youtube video or a movie/show open
>it's on some weird frame like a girl's vacation pictures or a romance scene
>panic about how weird it looks
>click to another tab
>it's 4chan, someone posted lewds on a blue board
>literally don't have a browser window that i'd feel ok showing to another human
>minimize the whole thing and open my steam library whenever somebody opens my door

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>you will never be this beta
feels good man
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>be 14 or so
>it's winter
>trying to fit in with a group of new people
>known them for about 2 weeks
>discussing some random bullshit, I mention how my room was getting an extension and I have no windows
>"its fucking freezing outside anon, how are you not dead?"
>without thinking I reply "hentai"
>everyone looks like I just shit on the ground
>realize I said that out loud
>try and pass it off as a joke
>no one joins in my awkward laughing
>never have friends again
when i was like 15 i accidentally clicked the share button on Shadbase.com

fortunately one weird dude I know liked and commented on it immediately, and it was at 2 am so I doubt anyone else saw. I really owe him one.
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>renting house during second year of uni
>no friends, so I'm sharing a house with 4 strangers (2 guys, 2 girls)
>it's actually only a 3 bedroom house, but two of the downstairs rooms have been converted into bedrooms
>home alone one day
>go downstairs into the kitchen
>notice one of my housemates has left her slippers in the kitchen
>bend down and start sniffing them
>stand back up
>see other female housemate staring at me from her bedroom door
>tfw I wasn't home alone after all

I avoided her as much as possible for the rest of the year, but it never came up in a conversation. To this day, I wonder if she told anyone.
Holy shit you are me, me is you. WTF is going on??
>at football/soccer game
>blonde qt about my age sits next to me, she's genuinely beautiful
>i'm static and say nothing the whole game just so I don't weird her out in any way
>my team scores in the last minute of the match, it's a crucial game so everyone goes crazy
>she HUGS ME in celebration at the goal
>i'm a 6ft fatbeast not exactly easy on the eye
>it's the only time a female who's a non-family member has every hugged me in my life
>it was 3 years ago and I still think about how good it was
>with one friend and his friends i don't know >he leaves to do other shit
That one ultra normie that gets excited and see's this as an oppurtuntity to "expand his network"
It was probably a pity hug, she knew you would be the type to never forget after years.

Fuck you man, the end piece is the best part
I know that feel all to well anon. Did army cadets for a bit when I was younger but could never fit in with any of the other cadets due to them all knowing each other outside of cadets or they were a massive fucking chav

I'm going to be 38 in not that long and it hasn't gotten any better. Get used to it.
>in line at grocery store with mom
>she says she has to grab something and will be right back
>the line slowly gets shorter until you're up next
>mom still isnt back

I keep a couple clean sites on my bookmarks bar, for a quick getaway.

I wonder if anyone's noticed I'm on the same pages all the time.
I'm glad you got caught.

Kill all footfags on sight
Maybe, pity hug is better than no hug though.

I know it's unbelievably pathetic but that's the cards I was dealt with.
society failed us
Man, I'm jealous as fuck, you went out in public to a sports match AND got a hug from a girl.

Living the dream.
they're called breadcaps
>Brace myself to order a sandwich at Subway
>Walk in, prepare to order
>At the last minute the Sandwich Artist leaves and a girl takes his place
>Makes eye contact with me and asks what kind of bread I want
>Fall over and start convulsing in front of everyone in the restaurant
>at speech therapy
>for some reason taco bell comes up
>say i like it
>therapist says she never had it
>i said o why didn't you eat it when you were working at stop and shop
>she gave me a dirty look
>how did you know i worked at stop and shop
>she says o yeah i remember you now
>ask if she talks to anyone from there
>i wasn't there for like almost eight years
>brain injury made me lurr out that someone was a bitch
>i think she still talks to her and she told a physical therapist because she said i know the girl too

In the end brain injury is a weird thing
I did not understand a single thing from this post
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>24 years old
>House sitting for parents in a small town with really low crime
>Go downstairs to get a drink of water around 11 at night
>Halfway down stairs, notice that living room window is open and screen isn't in it
>Hurry upstairs, listen for a few minutes, call police.
>a few minutes later, cops ring bell, let them in
>Police: "you called about a possible break in?"
>explain what happened and point to window

>The screen was in the whole time
>got in a car accident two years ago
>rehab stuff
>take a speech therapy
>we're talking and taco bell comes up
> i say i like it
>therapist says she never had it
>i say really?
>her nope
>i say why didn't you when you were right there when you worked at stop and shop
>she say how did you know i worked at stop and shop
>she was scared
>tell her about things of stop and shop
>she says o yeah i remember you now
>i asked ifi she talked to anyone who use to work there
>she says no
>i say that a girl who use to work there was a bitch
>i guess she told her and a physical therapist
>the physical therapist said she knows the girl too

i hope that clears it up
your autism is going to trigger my autism if you actually enjoy the end pieces of bread.
>vietnamese party
>it aint me starts humming
I think your brain injury is affecting your posting
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>go to a public bathroom inside a grocery store
>have to shit
>only one in there
>finally sit on toilet
>someone comes in and has to take a shit too and theres two stalls
>mfw holding in as much as I can til they take a shit first
I still listen to tool
>walking down a long, quiet street at night all alone for about 5 minutes
>turn into a side road
>Some guy nearly walks into me from behind
>Didn't hear a fucking thing and this guy must have been directly behind me for god knows how long.
>Shit myself to deter rape just in case.
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>chad brother comes home finally after 2 years of army shit
>on the coach, talking to me about some shit
>talks about fish he caught
>"dur it was about this big"
>have severe social anxiety, avert eyes
>accidentally look at his dick area as he holds up his hands for fish size
>visibly get red-faced and sweat as I realize how I probably look
>get even redder and uncomfortable
>he just looks at me with confusion and laughs
>be 14yo me
>at Seabase High Adventure Boy Scout Camp in Florida
>on the long canoe ride out to the island, I needed to pee
>tried to ignore it
>the need to pee keeps getting stronger and we are still a ways from the island
>final gets to the point where there is a sharp pain in my abdomen and a little leaks out
>stop paddling and hunch over and hug my abdomen
>people ask if I'm all right
>I say I'm just sea sick
>they tell me to drink some water and that it will hep me feel better.
>I drink some water so as not to arouse suspicion.
>by now more is leaking out and I'm actively grabbing myself to try to prevent it.
thankfully there were abnormally large waves that day and our canoe started flooding from seawater before anyone realized I was pissing myself. That also allowed me to truly release myself just in time.
We ended up being picked up by a passing tour boat and taken to land were the coast guard then came and did a quick interview of each of us about what happened with the sinking.
So thankfully no one realized what happened with me, but only because of the large waves and the sinking, otherwise half the people I spent the next week or two with would have known I pissed myself.
>know a girl at university
>we chat for a couple of hours during lunch and after it
>everything is fine, we have many things in common
>we start talking about going at the cinema together or doing something
>politely I precise that I'm an atheist
>not because I wanted to convert her (he had a cross necklace) but just for the sake of adding one more info about me
>and trust me I've been very nice, I didn't just come out of nothing saying "I'm an atheist", before coming to that conclusion I briefly explained my (good) reasons, WITH A SMILE UPON MY FACE,not being hostile
>anyway she just look at me like I was a piece of shit
>awkward silence
>I ask her if we can go to the cinema next week
>she says she forgot she has to leave for a long trip with friends
>maybe we can go when you come back?
>she's not sure how long the trip is gonna be
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Consider yourself triggered, loafnormalfag.
That's when you punch out the screen yourself.
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> i also sent a fat girl who used to like me a picture of my dick and she posted it on her facebook and called me a harasser and everything else and tagged my family in it.
> tagged my family in it.

Oh my goodness.
>tech savy
>install windows on brother in-laws computer with my old hard drive
>after install he probing through files
>for some reason all files didn't format
>he asks "Hey anon, whats monster girl quest" with a smirk
>"j-just something o-online..." *incoherently babbling and dodging question
>get called into kitchen for some reason
>come back and whole time he's on phone
>after awhile gives me a weird confused look while looking up from his phone
>walks out and say's he has to do something without making eye contact
>delete folder

Never brought it up again
>"tech savvy"
>didn't DBAN drive before giving it away
That's when I was meme "tech savvy".
I'm 22 now and can let people use my computer while hiding shit in plain site.

>tfw still living with parents
>just broke my laptop, new one's being shipped but i have to use shitty home computer
>in the living room
>parents stay downstairs in the basement usually
>i get the upstairs and get to relax
>mom comes upstairs, starts cooking and being loud as fuck
>dad comes upstairs, stands in front of the tv i leave on for background noise
>turns off then lectures me about power
>want to buy legal weed
>already been there once this week
>can't go for another week because i don't want the staff to think i smoke too much weed
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>tfw you're an orbiter, even to your friends
I would've showered the shit off. Steal some clothes and left.
I seriously want to punch them when that happens
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>walk onto bus
>only open seat is next to a 10/10
>if I sit she'll hate me and think I like her
>if I stand she'll think I'm weird and retarded
>be me
>15 or 16 yo
>in 10th grade
>in small SPED school for Dyslexia, Dysgraphia, ADHD, Asperger's Syndrome, and some other stuff.
>working on my spelling workbook with one of the teachers assistants (who was in her early to mid 20s and hot)
>be REALLY tired and only half awake
>have to spell "goodnight" for one of the answers
>end up writing "Goodnites"
>immediately realize my mistake
>quickly try to erase it as fast and as thoroughly as possible
>glance up and she has a wired look on her face
>write in the correct word
>hope she doesn't realize what I actually wrote originally...
>felt really embraced the rest of class
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an original comment for our robot overlord
>implying it was meaningful
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>i hope that clears it up
Not at all fampai
I would've fucked their car up after realizing it was just two roastie whores.
What a dick, if you still know him or know where he lives I'd fuck up his car or something. That's so fucked up posting that shit publicly.
I dropped my phone on the bus once and I didn't use it for a whole month. I'd probably end it all if that happened.
I listened to tool
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>stop at a highway restroom
>Chinese tour bus stops with me
were you alone or were there other people in your car?

I've never listened to tool.
you need to move bro. start a new life.
I was with family
ah, yeah that sucks.
If you had been alone you could have waited them out or gone to another rest stop.
Or just found a place to piss in the woods.

I have an issue with long car rides that I'm always too embraced to be the one who needs the car to stop for a bathroom break...
>mother and her husband
what a cuck
>use headphones in public
>can't check if I'm breathing too loud because I can't hear shit
>get anxious and stop breathing
>have to take off headphones after not even one song because I'm close to suffocating
>At UNi
>Have to take shit in public
>Have to time it out so no one is in the bathroom while you drop a duce
>not just dropping trou and shitting in the middle of a public area like a true Alpha.
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this is a lie, r-right?
O.O The fuck did it just read.
funny post 2bh, underrated
How do they Know though?
I've had many times when it's apparent people know I am a virgin, But I don't understand what gives it away.
I'm about to listen to Tool
>work at grocery store
>manager asking where someone is
>"hey anon, can you call him upfront over the intercom"
I listened to Tool. Once.
Real bread doesn't have end pieces, they're fucking balls, reeeeee.

Are you the Egyptian QT? Praise all Arabs. You're God's chosen people.
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This is pure gold man.
I heard about tool.
might listen to it
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Similar experience
>Using PlentyOfFish
>Fat 3/10 girl that gave me BJ's during my senior year says she hooks up with older men on it
>Pretty much like Tinder except it tells you who viewed your profile instantly
>See a familiar girl
>Click profile on accident
>It's some girl I have class with 3 times a day
>She was online when I clicked her account
>Sperg out and delete the account

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Now try having to use emergency serves radios that hundreds of people (including people from the news media) are listening to at any one moment.
>I'm 13 years old and My mom drives me to a nearby convince store in her silver Chevy Impala to get some grocery items
>She stops the car in front of the store entrance and sends me in to quickly buy 2 items
>I grab the two items, pay and leave in about a minute
>It's night time, and dark out as I leave the store
>I see the sliver car right by the entrance, where it was when I went inside
>"Oh good my mom's still here
>I get in the car to leave
>That's not my mom in the driver's seat, this isn't my mom's car
>I get out as fast as I can and walk away quickly without saying anything
>My mom had moved her car into a parking spot and someone else had pulled up in her place
>Maximum awkward
>I keep a mental note of the times of say that the bathrooms at work are usually empty
>30 minute window in the morning and 30 minute window in the afternoon
>I must only use the bathrooms during these times, or there will be people there and I can't go
>it's past my morning window of opportunity and now I have to shit really bad
>I can't go midday because bathrooms are loaded with people at lunch
>tfw I shift uncomfortably in my chair all day at work, waiting for my afternoon potty time
>absolutely no other option
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Talking to someone and one of the following happens, or both

-brain starts moving faster than mouth and you start stumbling over words

-voice cracks
>tried to kiss her towards the end but she didnt move at all

Same exact thing happened to me too once

Happened to me once aswell