i think i'm losing it

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anyone else here think they're losing it? I think i'm paranoid. I always feel like i'm being followed and it's gotten to the point where i can't do online dating and stuff even though i'm lonely because im just too harsh on myself and think other people are just sitting there laughing at whatever i put on my profile. I also always think that whenever a group of people look over at me at a restaurant, even if just for a moment, that they're probably making fun of me and talking about how weird I am. I know its illogical but i can't control the thoughts. they're always there they never go away. I always think my friends hate me and don't wanna talk to me anymore. I feel like a burden on them and everyone else in my life. I don't know how to feel normal, i don't even know if I want to, i don't know if i deserve to feel normal. I just feel like this huge parasite on everyone around me and I take and take from them and don't give back anything and I know i'd be much more fun to be around if i had a better self esteem but i just feel like i'm making everyone so unhappy all the time i dont know how to fix this. any advice? also share your own problems