Do your friend think you're a normie?
>People think I'm a normie
>I'm actually autismo
>I got my first ACTUAL friend in primary school only on 3rd grade
>Depression since 7th grade
>Fast forward to 12th grade
>Every class gets a different country to play as
>We get Mexico
>I am skelet man of spook
>4 of us skelets
>2 of us need to tango and "marry" skelet brides
>One grill chooses his bf ofcourse
>A grill I like has the choice to pick 1 out of 3 skelets
>She chose me over a weeb and a sperg
>Have to tango
>Tango is in my blood
>Shake when I get ready to dance with her and get nervous because of my crippling autismos
>The closest I've ever been to a grill
>Everyone started accepting me as a member of their "group" more and joking around how we look like a great couple even though I barely talked to her
>1 month later we do the play, we dance n shit
>Feel empty after the dance
>After that, almost everyone in our class goes to some party some Chad is hosting
>I hate club music and anything electronic but still go, because the grill I like is going
>"Hey, I might actually like it there"
>I only listen to 70s-90s shit, like Gloria Gaynor, a-ha, Village people and etc.
>As always I get depressed when I get social
>I'm sitting on a chair while a good friend's giving me company as I sit there like a fucking retard staring into the crowd and browsing the steam store for some Christmas deals
>The girl I tangoed with, also multiple other girls begging me to dance multiple times, they get me up wiggle my arms a bit and I still go back and just sit there
>Get home and play some good ol' TF2 "though break" maps and mic spam my favorite 70-90s songs
>Want to fucking kill myself after I think about the girl I danced with
>Love her and never want to stop dancing with her,but at the same time I want to forget her
>I never use facebook, but I constantly check if she sent a friend request
Why haven't I killed myself yet?
I know the feels skelet
>faggot in the closet
>cutest girl in the school asks me
>i say sure because anyone who says no to her is assumed to be a fag, don't wanna blow my cover
>this bitch was the most tumblr girl alive
>like she dyed her hair blue, listened to emo bands, ect.
>2 days later
>one of the songs is single ladies
>my earbuds hurt
>i am contiplating suicide during the entire event
>dance is over
>thank god, jesus, allah, and steven hawking i can go home
>she wants to go to a chad party with me
>she meets with her friends
>i sit in some random bedroom
>aw hell yeah, i find some old n64 in the closet
>i pay goldeneye
>everything is fun now
>chick comes in the bedroom
>makes out with me
>i play along because i don't want anything to think i am a cockgobbler
>she wants to fuck
>literally the only experience i have ever had with sex is being a bottom bitch to some guy who paid me
>i am horrible at it
>she orgasisms somehow
>she is satisfied, think it was her first
>i find out i am bi
>still wanna kill myself though
>forced to do date her for 2 years because i am beta as fuck
>somehow getting no hints i do not wanna be there
>sometimes think she just wanted my money
and that was the last time i have ever dated someone
i am 27 now
If people assume me (family included)
to refuse their invitation to party, so they dont invite me
to have no friends (oh Anon? ye he has no friends, he is always alone and quiet)
to have nothing to do all the time besides sitting on pc
to be asocial, so they dont socilalize with me
does that make me robot?
>first day of college
>talking with RA in the communal room
>my dorm was boys' only (Catholic school)
>he says "if you have any female visitors just remember they have to be off the floor by 11 PM"
>looks right at me and says "Anon here looks like that might be a problem am I right?"
>first few weeks people ask me to go to parties with them thinking I'll help them get women
>didn't have a female visitor the entire year
>stopped going out after a few weeks
>made 3 "friends" in GED class.
>I really just want to be left alone but I am forced to be social unless I revert back to the loser outcast stigma I had in highschool.
fucking hell please just please give me peace, I don't want to be social I just want my diploma
I'm 90% sure I'm not a normie. Hell, I'm even scared of socializing, like if I say or do something wrong to a person I just met, there will be consequences or whatever. Can't remember the last time I hung out with friends that wasn't in school too desu. Just playing vidya on my bed all day and feeling worthless as usual. I really can't see anything normal in me, maybe I just got lucky?