>>25550355 One time I shat on my floor just to prove to my brother I'd actually do it but when I tried to clean up the fallen poop I just grabbed it in a huge chunk in a paper towel and threw the whole wad down the toilet and the toilet was clogged for like a week and I didn't have the heart to tell my mom it was because I shat on my floor to win a $3 bet so I just let her believe our plumbing was fucked
i declined a booty call from one of my exes because I didn't want to cheat on my then girlfriend just to find out later that week from a series of texts from an unknown number that "your girl is cheating on you bro, sorry to tell you. She's asleep in the other room and doesn't have a lock on her phone, I saw your number and thought you'd want to know, been happening for three months now"
tried to kill myself, then-girlfriend phoned police because I told her my blood was on her hands, raced to hospital, stomach pumped
Once, when I was twelve, I stole one of those four foot tall Barbie dolls from a girl down the street. I painted nipples on it and humped it a lot. I hid it in a travel trunk in my closet. One day, my mom threatened to clean my room if I wouldn't, so in a panic, I hid it under the floor in their basement. I'm 26 now, and they still live in the same house.
Looking back, that was some pretty fucked up shit. Last time I was at their house I pulled up the carpet just a little to see that the silicone seal that I put on the edge of the boards was still intact, and my parents, so every once in a while I think about it and get a bit anxious about the day my parents find the nasty cum-crusted Barbie their son hid telltale heart style in their basement.
>>25550355 I lied about my dad dying in 9/11 shortly after it happened in the 2nd grade. Even cried and shit. I just wanted attention. I moved away a year afterwards to a new state. Still feel like a fag about it. hope I never meet anyone from that class ever again.
i had a dream last night that i cut off my penis. i was in an apartment that belonged to some guy i didn't know. i started walking around the apartment penis in hand thinking about what i'd do with my dick and found the guys wife hanging from a noose dead.
I moved back to my home country from Thailand three months ago and I'm aching to go back. I can't stand the cold, the white women, studying. I just wanna go back and pretend to teach English. I was never as happy and careless as I was there. That life is so easy. I never worried. I had women, I had money. I'm sick of waiting.
I had a young aunty who would often pick me up from school and I told everyone she was my older sister for some fucking reason and used to make up stories about how when she went to that school she would do "insert cool story here."
After a really fun night at the pub with a few of my mates where I really connected with one of my best friends who I had for some reason kind of become distanced from for a few months, I went to my girlfriends house to crash at hers instead of getting a taxi to my house.
I laid down next to her and went to sleep and then I had a vivid dream that my best friend was in bed with me, naked, sitting on top of my erect penis and that we were having anal sex in the cowgirl position. I then ejaculated and woke up.
>>25550355 It was all set up, we were about to go out in a couple of days, but now she says she must think about it, and doesn't want to think right now. What the fuck, lads? Why would she do that with me? Why doesn't she just say no? It hurts
I work out all the time and keep teling myself I do it for those gains and for my inner god but really I just do it to look aesthetic and it doesn't even help because girls choose people who everyone calls *that guy* over me
I'm still in love with my robot ex boyfriend. he's blocked all contact with me but I really desperately need to talk to him about some things, the relationship just wasn't ended very cleanly and I think there are some things he should know before he avoids me forever.
I've had nothing but heartbreak literally every minute of every day since. I'd saw off my leg without anesthesia if I could have him back. he meant everything to me and I feel like wherever he is, he's stewing in his hatred of me but he has the wrong idea. a lot of assumptions were made. and I can't clear things up because he's avoiding me.
I really really love him. guys, what do I do? I wanted to write him a letter, but what should I say? I don't want to come off as a stalker exgf, but I do need to tell him some things, including that I love him.
>>25553750 I need to tell him that I'm working on myself. I've got a gym membership for myself even though the gym terrifies the everliving fuck out of me. I quit smoking, the pack I bought the last time he drove me home, I threw it in the sink and soaked them all and threw them away. he made me realize JUST how bad of a person I was, and I hate myself for ruining it with him. I made one thoughtless, shitty mistake and it's cost me my world. I would do anything for a second chance. don't you think most people deserve a second chance?
honestly, he ended it because he went through my phone and found an old flirty facebook message - ONE - I'd sent to my dealer. I'd never even consider cheating on him, ever. he means so much more to me than that. idk what I was thinking, just harmless words. I even blocked that guy later because he tried to ask me for sex, he's not really a good person but a connect is a connect, you know?
do I deserve him back? no, he's amazing. he's so smart, so well-read, so funny. he's so good with music and it makes me happy to watch. he's great in bed. he's a top-tier cuddler. he's got a qtp2t face with a nice beard and good glasses. he's loving and affectionate. I'm a piece of shit, of course I don't "deserve" him.
but I love him, and I think it would be smart of him to at least chat things over with me. there's so much we left unfinished. if he would give me that once second chance, I'd prove to him that I'm not really like that. it's the only time I've ever done something like that and the shame and guilt is killing me.
even if he doesn't want to take me back, I would love just to have him in my life as a friend. I've never felt so strongly that I need someone in my life as I feel about him.
>>25550355 Long story short, I fooled all the members of a large and well-known Runescape clan (this was years ago) into thinking I was a Marine veteran just so that I could ascend the ranks quickly. Years later, and I am the leader of the clan. One day, a person joins who actually happened to be a Marine vet, and he called me out in front of the entire clan. I got kicked out. I was so ashamed that I haven't played since, and this was years ago.
>>25553940 The trust is gone, it's over. you can thank feminism-induced pathological hypergamy for modern day trust being more fragile than a supercooled solution cause it does sound like something that if true, isn't that big of a deal
>>25553750 >>25553940 I also need to tell him that when I said, "I don't want to date you again," I didn't mean it. I was only trying to push myself to get over him because everyone around me was telling me to just get over it and I felt like I was disappointing them. as soon as I said that I regretted it. I'm kind of bad in social situations and that's probably my fault.
I need him to know that I need him. I love him. I would do anything to make it up to him. literally anything.
>finally ask crush out >holy shit she actually said yes >just went to get dinner, I thought it was really lame >she thought it was great >we're back at her place after >she tells me she's had a crush since we met two semesters ago >we start getting really physical >holyshitthisiscash.jpeg >clothes are coming off >realize I'm losing my virginity >about to stick it in when I look down >she has a serious roastie >not even trying to be mean but I start laughing because of memes >look up at her >she's crying >says this happened several times where guys just look at her vagina and start laughing and leave >calls me an asshole and tells me to leave >try to explain that I really don't care but it reminded me of memes >she just gets even more mad >she's going to get a bottle of vodka at this point >I leave knowing I just fucked up with an amazing girl >suddenly wake up >realize it was a dream >tfw now actually more scared I'll laugh at her vagina than never fuck her now
>>25553982 >not using marijuana to deal with your anxiety so you can go to work and do people things >in the year of the current year this year of the present year
>>25554030 I think I could build trust back up with him. it's absolutely possible to learn to trust someone again, and I'd love for him to extend that chance to me. even if it takes forever. he's worth fighting for. I don't care if he checks my phone every day, if he even reads my emails. I made one shitty mistake that I honestly didn't even remember sending. when he confronted me about it I was super confused, he accused me of cheating and talking to other guys behind his back. not just chatting, but like TALKING talking. and I wasn't. I wouldn't.
if there was ANYTHING a girl could do to slowly build trust up with you again, what would it be? I'd go to any length for him, honestly.
She's a total whore. We were only fuck friends but she's a great person al around, but even if somehow I managed to get her to be my gf she would still be the slut at heart. So I could either try to hold her down (which would probably be impossible anyway) or have her fuck other guys which I'm simply not gonna do cause I'm not a fucking cuck. FML.
When I was like 7 or 8, I found these clothes in the basement of my house (probably my mom or sister's clothes). Anyway, I found this skirt and put it on to see what it felt like because I'd never tried one on before as a boy. After the first time, I'd go down there from time to time and put the skirt on and play around for a little while. I actually started trying on girl's underwear a few years later. I stopped after awhile though, but I was wonder about that shit looking back.
>>25553940 Goddamn. Reading this makes me feel incredibly sad. I hope you get a chance to talk things through with him, especially since the text to your dealer was just innocent BS. It's not like you actually wanted to fuck him.
>>25554065 You gotta make that shit as clear as spring water then. Make some giant gesture or something. I don't know. How long has it been though? Maybe wait a little while so you can really improve on the things you've been doing to better yourself and then meet up with him and have a talk with him. He can't hate you forever, and if he shared even a fraction of your feelings, he'd probably be willing to talk after enough time has passed.
>>25554469 You've got me all up in my feelings right now. As an avid lover of romantic comedies, you HAVE to find some way to get him back, or at least get him back in your life. Actually >>25554438 is also me and this could help.
>>25554490 I've never considered something like that, but I can definitely empathize with that desperation for human contact. I'm not studly enough to sell my body anyway, but I'd say just hold out. How attractive are you? You must look pretty decent to even consider selling your body, so you should be able to find somebody to connect with without having to do that. When was your lost intimate experience?
>>25554554 I've gone and cooked up one of those "grand romantic gestures." I don't want to post what I've done because I swear to god he just replied to me in another thread calling me by the first letter of my name, and I don't want to spoil the surprise. (he didn't reply after I asked for him by the first letter of his name. jerk. lovely jerk.)
I just hope it isn't too sentimental or cheesy for him. it took me 6 hours last night to put together. mailing it tomorrow morning. this is about the only shot I've got.
>>25554633 Oh dear god, I'm getting little butterflies for you. I REEAAALLY hope this works for you. I need to know the results as well. I don't know how you'll identify yourself, but good or bad, I want to see a thread about this when it's all said and done. (god I'm such a hopelessly romantic loser lol)
>>25554712 Eh, I wouldn't say that. I just seems like a weird thing to try and do if you aren't at least averagely attractive. If you don't look good, then you'd probably have to fulfill some sort of kink or fetish.
Decided to date a robot. He stopped caring but he's all I've ever wanted and I've never felt this bad I don't know what I did and he won't tell me what's going on Our anniversary is in a week and I'll probably spend it crying alone t b h
>>25554931 I can't! he's blocked my skype and my number! either I make a new skype and try to add him to talk, which is creepy and weird, or I just mail him a letter with this gift in the morning and hope he'll read it and not just get mad before doing so and throw it all away.
>>25554922 Two of them sort of looked like gay Chad's, so there definitely would have been fat fetish stuff involved with it. The other two were just sort of normal looking guys that might have been desperate.
>If you even slightly think you'll regret it, I say just let it go and stick to toys and pov/intimate porn. It's not even the sex, it's the feeling of being wanted or needed or someone that actually likes being around me that I'm after, and doing degenerate stuff like this is literally the only way I can get something even close to what I'm desperate for right now.
>>25555025 I know, but he wasn't like that. he was actually sweet and kind. he really was an anomaly of a great person, the kind I never even knew existed. I'm afraid he's going to take my one little mistake and think, "r9k was right, all women are whores, they just want me for my money" etc.
>he lives 3.5 hours drive away from me if I make that trip and he won't open the door, then what?
>>25555254 >>25555275 either you're a normie in which case ree gtfo my board etc etc or you're a robot in which case really, stop giving out rude advice, no one cares what you have to say the second you start pulling out insults.
>>25555062 >it's the feeling of being wanted or needed or someone that actually likes being around me
But if you have to post some online add for kinky gay sex, does it really count? They don't need you in the case, and while they may come to enjoy your company, it seems like a shitty cost. I can understand the desire though. Sometimes when I'm watching romantic stuff or hearing about it, I just really start craving for that human contact. The warmth, their body pressing against your own. The emotional connection as well. It fucking pains me sometimes, but fuck it. Sooner or later I'll figure this shit out.
I don't know what I'm doing. I feel so hurt by you and yet so in love with you that I'm not sure where to go from here or what to do. We had officially been together for about two years when you told me that you had sex with one girl, kissed two, and then wanted to date someone new because our relationship was so broken from all of the things you had done wrong that you didn't want to continue. I asked you to stay. You did. I'm not sure if I made the right choice because at some point I think I have to admit that you might not have loved me. You said it was the loneliness and the distance and I do believe you. I really do. I want to believe that you love me more than anyone but you still lie, and you still cheated. I just don't know if I should continue pushing for a relationship that you hadn't wanted anymore. I made a mistake and i hope you don't end up being bitter towards me. Every day I ask myself why you stayed to fix something that you had deemed broken. What do I do now. I love you. I wish you loved me as much as I did you.
>>25550355 Every single day I dislike each member of my family even more, not sure how much longer I'll be able to put up with them, they think I love em but christ.. I'd move out in a heart beat if I could afford to
So tired of my mom forcing me to listen to end of the world Christian sermons. She's so obsessed with the shit and the worst thing is approaching her about it just makes her feel like a martyr. I'm going to move out of here and never answer the phone when she calls.
>>25556212 There are some pretty top tier trannies out there, mate. You can technically get what you want to some degree. I'm not saying ALL trannies are deceptively feminine either, I'm just saying some are. Especially the cutesy ones that don't even really need the hormones that badly and have small natural tits.
>>25556326 I don't really care if liking futa makes me bi or whatever. In the end, I'm not going to fuck a typical male. As >>25556333 said if I can find an extremely feminine tranny who's into me, then maybe.
>>25556326 Of course gay men don't have much love for futa and traps. They portray themselves as women (though futa actually are women), which would obviously do nothing for gay men since they generally go for men and people who atleast portray themselves as such. Femboys, while many of them technically are traps, a lot of them simply do the fem shit, but still have masculine-esque features. Traps on the other hand are pretty much passing as females, so of course they aren't as attractive to gay men. Dick or no dick, they're basically girls aesthetically.
>>25556299 I enjoy eating it too, but the taste is not always good. It actually motivates me to maintain a diet with less sodium and red meat so that my semen does not taste salty. The main reason I started doing it though is out of laziness. Any method of cleaning is basically harder, more time consuming and less efficient than simply ingesting it.
>>25556403 Do that shit. I know for sure I'm interested in that myself. There's something weirdly attractive about feminine bodies accompanied by dicks. Don't know what it is. Like, most people say they'd only mess with a tranny or trap if they didn't know they had a dick and would immediately back out upon discovery, but it's the fact they have a dick in the first place that makes me want them more.
>>25556544 You definitely probably won't find these exact specifications, but then most art like this isn't realistic. However, you'll find some good alternatives for sure. I can guarantee that shit. Just gotta know where to look.
If people knew how much porn I drew of characters I made tied to my safe-for-work identity I'd be fucked. Considering a lot of is gay shota and the fetishes I'm using are getting progressively nastier. But something about that is exciting. I hope I get famous some day multitudes higher than my current small(~800) following and they're leaked. The drama would be great.
>>25557049 Become a professional streamer for a competitive game you're into. If you're interesting enough, people will pay you for that shit. Also, try YouTube. You can make a ton of money off of that shit too and all you have to do is just play video games and make mildly interesting content. You can just get drunk whenever you aren't on stream or video. ACTUALLY, you could even make a segment where you are drunk. Do it rarely, but often enough that people will look forward to it. It'll just increase your fanbase.
I cut communication entirely with someone a year and a week ago and I still miss the first few months I talked to her since I avoided relationship pressures so damn well in that time before a bunch of things came together at once and broke down my mental wall she realized I wasn't kidding when I said I was empty; I am a nonperson, flesh without dreams and I lie to all so they may live in their own worlds free of displeasure
I'm also in denial about being depressed, apparently.
>>25557874 Your feelings of ill towards yourself are natural but misplaced. Your friends suffered more than you and yet you are lauded as a hero. Unfair, isn't it? Life is. Don't dwell on what others perceive you as. You know what you are so there is no need to drag yourself down with how others perceive you. Harden your heart to such feelings. It is the only way. It will not be easy to rid yourself of any perceived guilt and drowning your sorrow in substances will do nothing but beat off the sadness for a day.
If you wish to move past this, your only option is to completely alter the way you perceive yourself.
>>25550355 I'm convinced the thing I'm researching for my project to get done with uni is going to crash-and-burn with no tangible benefits, I won't get into gradschool because of how long everything will take to get processed. The only thing that keeps me from taking the $11k I have stashed in the bank and just going somewhere else is because I couldn't live with myself if I just ran from my problems.
I don't feel as smart, confident, or prepared as everybody seems to think I am. But I guess if everyone says it, there's some truth to it.
>>25558146 The best way to deal with such thoughts is to confront them . Dwell on them and consider them for what they are - experiences. Ones that you survived. You lived and other men died and yet you are still allowing the mere memory of these instances to conquer you. This is illogical. So do as I said, bask in these memories until they no longer hurt. Hiding from them will only keep you chained to them.
>>25558228 Because of the three parts that make up the project, one has been almost all done by somebody else, another is totally reliant on data that may or may not exist, and on the third I'm not sure I can even get the data I need. I always knew that these problems existed, and I was amazed when my project got the green light to continue by my research adviser.
The only reason I didn't go to my department head and tell her that I wasn't about to go through with the thing was because of how impressed my research adviser was with the proposals I wrote. At this point I'm not sure whether to make these feelings known, or to just shut up and see how far down the rabbit hole I can go.
I don't have what it takes to succeed at life. I fucked up my chance to get job experience at 18 by wasting three years at college. (And I'm in danger of being dismissed now) I have no skills that appeal to employers and I really doubt anyone would take a risk now.
>>25550355 I am in serious danger of failing out of college, but I've been telling them my grades are great. I've also been faking having a social life, in reality I lost my only friend today (and he was just an online friend, I'm completely alone irl). Not really sure what I'm going to do when it all comes crashing down
>>25558817 it was a thoughtless fuckup. it was only one message, before and after which there are weeks of me ignoring him, but he didn't take that into account. I don't blame him. I'm not asking to be absolved of guilt, I just want to make it up to him somehow.
I think it took me losing him to realize that I really will never want anyone else again. that seems stupid, but I'm a stupid girl, so it fits. I wasn't trying to get with that other guy; if I had to guess why I did it, I'd say it was for attention. that week we had been sort of cross with each other over something insignificant which we got over soon enough. someone messaged me and I replied with too much zeal. I'm not blameless at all. but I know for a fact it would never, ever happen again. I don't care if he looks through my phone every day for the rest of my life. I'd never do something to cause him this much pain again. hurting him that much has hurt me too, maybe even more, because I feel for him and now I hate myself, too.
My mom is telling me that she'll kick me out at the end of the month if I don't find a job. I've applied to as many jobs as I could but found nothing and on top of it all I've got student loans to pay. I feel like I'm at the end of my rope. At this stage I feel like my only two options are offing myself or joining the army (unfortunately I'm too fat at the moment). I don't know what else I can do, nor do I know if life is really worth living anyway. I'm 22 years old and have done fuck all with my life (kv, no successes, not attractive).
>>25556731 Theoretically speaking nothing is, but I don't have a degree. And if I want to work legally there, without visa schenenigans and lots of other small nuisances, I need to finish my degree. It's gonna be hard.
I've done some stupid shit, and I've done some bad shit, but this is the only thing I've done that really haunts me:
Two years ago I needed somewhere to live for a couple of weeks, ended up crashing with a friend in a rented house, stayed in roommates room because she was out of town for the month. I haven't ever met roommate, I don't even know what she looks like.
One morning I woke up really horny. I didn't have any lotion or tissues, so I dug through roommate's dresser for a sock. I masturbated furiously into the sock, first time in days so there was a lot of cum. I mean a lot of cum. It seeped through the sock and got on my hands. After I finished I realized that there wasn't a trashcan in the room, and the house was full of people so I couldn't exactly waltz out to throw the cummy stolen sock away.
I put the sock back in the drawer, packed my shit, and left.
>>25562174 I once stayed in a "friend"s house for a couple of days because they weren't there, and neither was her significantly hotter roommate. I stole the latter's panties and fapped really fucking hard, a lot, while sniffing them. It was one of the greatest fap sessions of my life and I am so glad for the experience. Like a non-amateur, I came in the toilet, so there was no evidence. Even put the panties back exactly as they were. I kind of regret not keeping them, but not a whole lot, they'd be worthless by now. I even made a thread about it on /r9k/ at the time.
>>25550548 what is with this scared to go to the hospital shit? i had a small lump in my neck I could feel and immediately went. turned out it was lymphoma but I caught it early and treatment was a quick and huge success. go to the doctor before you fuck yourself over please
>>25550355 I will never be a pretty boy and frankly I will never feel truly satisfied in life because of this. I needed this because I have never had anyone tell me I am good at something, and I desperately need something I can be proud of, but I'm just a useless cunt who nobody really likes.
My GPA fell from 3.28 to 2.71 this semester, had to withdraw from 2 courses so I literally have no safety net. Got an academic warning. This may not seem bad but for an engineering major it's terrible.
Not telling my parents, just working on doing better next semester.
>over at my ex's house >one of the worst fucking days i ever had >trying to commit suicide by letting myself fall from the top floor >ex gets in the room and catches my hand in the last second >i literally felt like nothing matters anymore >he takes advantage of the moment and starts groping me >i didn't cared about whatever would happen to me anymore so i sort of let him have his way with me >lost virginity to him >thought he's the person i'll spend the rest of my life with >he dumps me 2 weeks after that >meets the perfect guy months after it >he loves me more than anything and i love him as well >too scared to tell him i'm not longer a virgin
i never wanted for it to happen this way, i regret letting that guy fuck me, i don't even know what was in my head at that moment but i hate myself so much for that.
I considered myself a straight dude, had a few GFs here and there.
Then I started to shove things up my ass, out of curiosity after all that p-spot thing. Felt good, kept doing it for years then wondered "how would a meat rod feel?", so I proceeded to put a random post in Craiglist.
Did a threesome with two older guys, felt good and now I'm confused as fuck.
>>25563870 Bahahaha DAMN. Better do better bro. Good luck and don't let Shekelstein ruse you. My GPA went up from 3.29 to 3.48 but I lost my scholarship so in just taking one class. Again golf look play it safe!
>>25564097 This is where all those tumblrisms come in. You could be pansexual (not limited in sexual choice with regard to biological sex, gender, or gender identity) but only heteroromantic (only interested in a romantic relationship with people of the opposite gender)
I'm 20 years old, decent looking, have a gf. But we've had a lot of problems the past year and I've cheated on her 5 or 6 times.
Me and few friends went to the pub last night and one of my female friends was getting overly friendly if you know what I mean. It wasn't anything overly major, just laughing too hard at my jokes, touching my arm and just stuff like that.
I just feel like I've missed out on a lot of experiences by having such a long term girlfriend and being so young.
I want to have a threesome with my gf and her best friend. Gf is 170 and her friend is like 220 and all the weight is in all the right places. That's 390 lbs that I want to grind ass on me and fuck relentlessly. I am salty.
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