A mysterious stranger approaches you and offers you a cell phone. He explains that the cell phone can only do one thing: you can make one call to your past self--at any point in your past--and give them one piece of advice.
>realize if the device worked i would of know this man would give me the phone at some point in time
>if i use the phone it that means my current self would of never obtained the phone in the first place.
>contemplate if i use it then this reality is then changed and not the current I lived in thus breaking it down
>the phone is a super weapon for destroying the current reality and it's known universe
in the end i would probably end up using it. I don't feel like existing anymore in the first place
>2008, year 7
>Fucking ask her out you moron, this is literally the moment where you could have changed everything, a few more people would still be alive right now if you hadn't fucked this up
>call myself in 2007
>"don't goto that 4chan site, it's an absolute waste of time and will make you a worse person"
>">implying I'll listen to a faggot like you!"
I don't think there's any hope honestly.
>call self any time ago where I did something wrong
>correct myself on doing such
>the man comes again, but this time for my past self in the parallel universe
>he corrects another mistake
>continue correcting mistakes going back through time because of this loop
>eventually become perfect
>smile knowing that there's a younger version of me living in a parallel universe that has the perfect life
Hey you stupid fucking naive sophomore faggot. Don't take out a $10000 loan and move into hosting because you can't make any friends you faggot. Cut your hair, stop being autistic, and be more active in your club.
>Hey, yeah it's me. It's obvious enough, you angry midget.
>Three years forward and it doesn't get better. Just desist, spend your time playing vyidia instead of worrying about girls and friends
>Who? No, she's just teasing you to laugh at you. That never happened, only in your imagination. And that won't happen no matter how nice and friendly you are
>Also, for fuck sake, shave your head you look like a faggot. Have a nice HS experience
>call myself circa Jan '09
>Do you feel blame? Are you mad? Uh, do you feel like wolf kabob roth vantage? Gefrannis booj pooch boo jujube; bear-ramage. Jigiji geeji geeja geeble google. Begep flagaggle vaggle veditch-waggle bagga?
>call myself at 19
Solve your internet addiction NOW YOU FUCKING FAGGOT. You do NOT have it all figured out, you are NOT enlightened on how reality works. You only think you are because you're so tripped out on your own ego and have never faced a day of hardship in your life.
It's going to get much, much worse. Your energy is going to go away, you're going to slowly break down and endure fatigue. I'll repeat again just in case the message wasn't clear enough: YOU DO NOT HAVE EVERYTHING ALL FIGURED OUT, YOU ARE SO FUCKING CLUELESS ABOUT HOW YOUR FUTURE IS GOING TO TURN OUT.
You're going to become me. You're going to become a strain on your family thanks to your shitty habits and self-loathing that you think you solved. Guess what buddy? Depression never magically fades away. It's going to get a hell of a lot worse. And it's because you spend your time sitting on your lazy ass all goddamn day without a fucking care in the world.
CARE NOW MOTHERFUCKER. This is your 23 year old self, and I'm letting you know now that you have to change things before it all goes to shit. The point of no return is closer than you think it is.
DO NOT BECOME ME. YOU HAVE FOUR YEARS TO GET IT RIGHT. DON'T YOU FUCKING EVEN THINK ABOUT TURNING INTO ME.
You have four years...don't stall. I love you...goodbye.
>dont panic when she propose and refuse her, dont resist, do what you want to do, instead of the right thing
WHY I ALWAYS WANT TO DO THE RIGHT THING
(and ultimately backfires in my face)
This. I'd probably get into a verbal shitposting fight with my past self.
I'd call myself a few months back, tell me my project will be fine and a dude will come up to him and give him a phone so he can call himself in the past and he should call us earlier in the past to abuse the future with what we know
tl;dr tell myself to make minecraft at around 2002
DON'T FUCKING GO INTO TEACHING! WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING? GET INTO ACCOUNTING OR COMPUTER SCIENCE, THINGS YOU ACTUALLY WERE CONSIDERING BEFORE YOU WASTED 3 YEARS OF UNIVERSITY ON BULLSHIT! YOU ARE 26 NOW AND ONLY GOING INTO A FIELD YOU LOVE NOW BECAUSE YOU GOT TOO ATTACHED TO A SCHOOL SETTING!
Accept phone, and call my past self so I don't spend all my money on a watch
You don't get paid much, if your country has unionized teachers, they will put you in the shittiest schools to start you out (think middle of nowhere or in the middle of an all black school). You can't discipline students these days since parents freak out when you do. The best part for me was, as a Canadian, you aren't allowed to give failing marks anymore. Literally have to pass dumb asses on because "they might fall behind socially" or some non-supported shit like that.
Teachers have no power these days.
Hey man, do NOT do that set of squats you fucking amatuer idiot
That set of squats will fuck up your body and life for 1.5+ years
You probably feel like you almost made it. That one chick actually liked you autist. If you do that set of squats you will set yourself back further than you've ever been before.