>>25535909 Maybe 20 years ago (35 yrs old) but mostly just going through the motions.
>tfw when mom slept all day and sent you to school in dirty clothes because tired >tfw when 8 years old during the divorce and mom fought hard in the custody battle >tfw she fought to not have custody >tfw one weekend a month 2 weeks in the summer with no food in filthy apartment >tfw when get left in back of some guy's Trans Am while mom goes in the bar >tfw when mom beats you because 10 year old you let's slip she dyes her hair while she lies about her age to her friends >tfw mom starts asking you to bring groceries on your court mandated custody visits >tfw when all visits are days of you in a filthy room with a library book and(I shit you not) candy sprinkles, freeze dried onion chips, and leftover, expired fast food from her 24 year old boyfriend's job
>mfw I get severe food poisoning and finally come out with why I get upset when it's time to go to mom's
In a way I'm grateful because I learned to stop making excuses for shit people but it still would've been cool to have a real mom.
About four years ago, last time I talked to her. I always get text messages from her, and they're usually sweet but I choke it up and ignore them. Last message she sent to me was today, my birthday. It was about how she had a dream where she got to hug me and how she didn't want to wake up. I can tell she misses me badly, that she wants her son back in her life, but what am I to do? The past was not just rough, but a disaster. All though it pains me greatly and all though I want to give in and speak to her again, I know I must uphold my punishment for her horrid transgressions in the past. And even so, I've seen how my sister's attempts to repair relations have gone. They start off cordial, but like a sleeping monster, old habits start to awaken when sitrred. Who can willing walk into that?
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