Why is being friends with women so hard for men?
Every time it's on the table, men always have the weirdest, strongest, most bombastic reactions to it I have ever seen. It never makes any sense. But they always treat the same way you'd treat the news of your hometown being destroyed by a tsunami.
There was a guy I knew, who I really cared about, and really adored. I didn't want to be his girlfriend though. But he still meant so much to me. And I valued him above all. Being friends with him was a dream of mine; and something to strive for.
I tried to tell him that, though. I tried to reiterate that I just want to be friends. That I wanted to hold onto our friendship as dearly possible. But he always took it like I was rejecting to him. Falsely believing that I'm breaking his heart, or that I didn't care about him.
I kept trying to argue otherwise -- that I sincerely wanted to be just friends. And yet, he always took it the wrong way, and eventually walked out of my life; never to return again. In addition, he took me off social networking, and stopped returning my calls and text messages.
That was one of the most devastating things I've ever went through. To lose someone you cared a lot about, who you valued so much. To have one of your best friends, your most cherished friend, not want anything to do with you ever again. I never missed someone this much before.
There was a brief moment of hope, however. When I saw him again with his girlfriend. I was so excited, thinking that since he's preoccupied with another girl, maybe he'd want to be friends this time. Obviously, this was not the case. He kept treating me coldly, like I wasn't there. I tried to get him talking, reminding him of how much I loved our friendship, that being friends with him is, again, a dream of mind. And that he was a friend I valued more than anyone else. But he just got offended, angry with me, and told me to never talk to him again. And that was the last I ever saw him.
I don't understand why being just friends is so hard for him. I don't get why it's not an option. I really want him as a friend, just not a boyfriend. But apparently this is not a possibility for him. I just don't understand. :(
You should have just given him some pussy.
Thats all it would take to calm him down and get him to be your bestie forever.
Treating a guy like a friend but not giving him any action ever is like having a diabetic over a holiday house with no access to insulin.
This is just something a man needs fulfilled so he can move on with his thoughts about you to other matters.
Is this fucking real? He obviously likes you and you rejected him. If he cares about you he wants to make sure nobody else takes you. The only way guys and girls can be friends is if they dislike something about the other to the point where a relationship is off the table.
When it comes to socializing men are superior in pretty much every way.
Almost always more interesting because we're actually expected to develop personalities, less likely to randomly be a dick because they know they could get punched, less likely to flake out, etc.
But I can't fuck them.
That's where you come in.
So when it's made clear that I won't have a shot at fucking you, I immediately lose interest, because for nine out of ten women that's the only thing you bring to the table.
I can count the women I've met in my life that are genuinely interesting on my two hands.
There's a screencap floating around with the same gist, but it's a very common sentiment. Most women simply have nothing to offer a man as a "friend".
Think about it this way
>know girl for a really long time, get along really well
>you love her, she doesn't love you
>you stand there as she goes out with countless guys
>you just stay in the background, not even as a choice.
It's like being a cuck, except you don't even get sloppy seconds. You get nothing
>That was one of the most devastating things I've ever went through. To lose someone you cared a lot about, who you valued so much.
if you cared about him so much all you had to do was fuck him, you stupid cunt.
Cunt you are not entitled to his time, his attention, his love, his affection, his favors, his money, his understanding, or any part of him. Would you stay in a restaurant that expected you to pay and tip the waitress but the food never came?
The entitlement of women is mind blowing.
He was only after your vagina, he didn't care about you as a person. No man has, or ever will, care about a girl for more than the purpose of getting into her pants, your stupidity lies in the fact that you believe otherwise.
If b8, I r8 an 8/8. Otherwise: Male-female friendships only work when the guy is already occupied in a relationship with a girl who is hotter or better in general than you. Deal with it, or fuck him.
This. Actually interesting or fun women, as in more interesting than an average dude, are exceptionally rare. Even if a girl is interesting, sexual tension will sink a relationship unless the dude is dating someone else/is gay.
Women are so fucking stupid. Look, if men could turn into women at will we'd be letting our buddies fuck us and vice versa all day.
Hell some of us just straight up fuck gay style.
Know why? Because that's what friends do. Fucking bitch.
All my friends are women.
Men are SHIT at understanding boundaries. I dunno why but most guys just feel entitled to things. It's ridiculous. And I know I'm a guy so when I say this shit it doesn't mean as much but no this gender is absolute horseshit.
The only way guys and girls can be friends is by being friends. The hell do you NEED to date a girl for? I have lots of women friends and I don't feel the need to date any of them. Half of them are married or in long term relationships even. I really don't get the
Ohhhh...You need to "own" a woman. Women are property I forgot lmao oops
>Because you're boring to talk to:
-your interests are "likes to travel, hang out with friends, and watch netflix!!" In non-normalfag terms, that means partying, social media, increasing your social status, getting attention, and whining about your problems so that your friends validate you in whatever stupid endeavor you partake in even though you are probably in the wrong, gossiping about your friends when they leave the room, and a host of plebeian TV shows
>And also because you judge us for doing all of the things we enjoy and assert that manhood and male nature are bad and wrong:
-"video games are stupid and childish"
-"you like systems, mechanics, figuring out how things work, computers, machines? WOW what a fucking nerd lmao!!!"
-"men are just violent assholes!"
-"men just objectify women all the time! rude! they are so sexist!"
-"men oppress women all the time because women don't get paid as much!! that's sexism!!!"
-"hunting is gross and mean. I don't know how you could do that"
-"ugh you're watching sports again? this is so stupid, it's just people throwing a ball"
-"why do you go to the gym so much? just calm down you meat head!"
Explain why I should be your fucking friend. The ONLY reason I will ever associate with a woman is for the ONLY thing she can provide that men can't: her wet hole. If I were gay, I wouldn't even bother with women AT ALL. They are judgmental, shallow, slutty, and have vapid, stupid interests like daytime TV and gossiping.
>if I were gay I wouldn't bother with women at all. They are judgemental, shallow, slutty, and have vapid, stupid interests like daytime tv and gossiping
I think you summed up /R9K/ with a paragraph.
bitch, if i wanted a friend to hang out with i'd get my friend who can hold a conversation that's fuckin interesting
i just wanna stick my dick in a vagina, but i have to make her wanna put my dick in her vagina
so i have to endure your fucking vapid personality long enough to fuck you
but then your vagina is suddenly off limits
then you insist on being my friend but YOU'RE FUCKING BORING AS SHIT
I agree with him though. I wish traps would become more popular and mainstream.
Just beautiful, sexy, girly trap movie stars, musicians, idols. Girly boys that are so feminine they make real women feel ashamed of themselves for being giant cunts.
Man that'd be awesome.
>That are GIRLS
>Being this much of a fucking white knight
I would kill to see how jealous women would be. Then you'd get all these articles from feminists complaining that men aren't paying attention to them and how these guys are appropriating femininity from women etc.
>The hell do you NEED to date a girl for?
Because I have romantic feelings for her.
>I have lots of women friends and I don't feel the need to date any of them.
Because you don't have romantic feelings for them.
Unrequited feelings are a terrible feel. Severing was the best thing he could have done for himself, if he still felt something. He could have also just didn't value your friendship
So...if I cared about sex I wouldn't be able to have female friends?
Or, if I had sex I wouldn't want female friends?
I don't get it.
I don't understand why sex stops people from being able to...make friends. Like honestly?
It sounds more like she's complaining that what she thought was a Real and Deep friendship was, in fact, actually not that at all.
I am the whitest knight. All my friends I protect with my white knighting. I call them all m'lady and tip my hat every day~!
If you have feelings for her you WANT to date her and when she doesn't have feelings for you you just...stop wanting to date her. Drop it. You know? I had a crush on a friend. She said no. I dropped it, it took a bit of effort but I valued her as a friend so. I fixed it. Y'all are shitty friends.
Men competing at the height of the human physical limit is interesting to watch. I don't get fired up about it, but if a woman judges my hobby then she is a fucking cunt. You know the MOMENT a man criticizes any of HER fucking stupid as shit, vapid, retarded hobbies, she will cry up a fucking storm and call you a sexist asshole blah blah blah, using every name in the fucking book to demonize you. If I as a man say that it's vapid for the majority of women to go outside just to take pictures of themselves and spend the remainder of the day surfing their likes & comments on said picture on Instagram Mobile, I'm suddenly a sexist. But women can talk all day about how guys who sit inside and figure out puzzles or how to build a robot or write a computer program and nobody fucking bats an eye or cares. The reason is that nobody fucking cares about men because they have no inherent value. Women don't understand that and never will, which is the basest reason we can never get along as "just friends". The inequality of the relationship should perturb any man who is honest with himself. You can have female "friends" but they will never be true, lifelong, undying friends. That shit only happens in fiction novels.
>when she doesn't have feelings for you you just...stop wanting to date her. Drop it. You know?
If I was able to do that, the idea of being just friends with her wouldn't be a problem. Since I don't have a choice in who like and how I like them, the course of action would be to cut them off if they don't reciprocate you.
>She said no. I dropped it, it took a bit of effort but I valued her as a friend so. I fixed it.
1). You're just giving an example of one crush.
2). If you managed to move on just like that, I promise you didn't care about her, nor liked her, as much as you think you did.
>It sounds more like she's complaining that what she thought was a Real and Deep friendship was, in fact, actually not that at all.
No, she's acting like a child and thinks she's entitled to his friendship just because she views him as some amazing entity. It's like a child complaining about wanting cake but not wanting to eat it.
>when she doesn't have feelings for you you just...stop wanting to date her.
>just turn off your feelings anon
>just watch on the side as you watch the girl you like take dick from strangers
Then you obviously didn't care or want to be with her that much. Most likely just infatuation.
Staying friends with a girl you love but who doesn't love you back is not healthy.
It's horribly painful.
I've been there, she would ignore me for months on end when she got a boyfriend, despite telling me all this shit about how important our friendship was to her.
It's really hard to get over someone when you stay friends after a rejection.
You would ruin his chance of falling in love with someone who really deserved him and wanted to be with him.
I'm a techy guy and like to tinker and build stuff.
I'd like to meet a girl that actually has some kind of engaging productive hobby, perhaps even arts and crafts, or something that shows she has creativity, imagination and the passion to create something in the world.
But alas, my experience has plainly shown me that women aren't like that. They don't like things that take effort and give internal satisfaction and reward. And the few that do are already spoken for.
it's possible to be just friends with women if you're a man. but that guy wanted a gf and get laid.
so you just didn't have what it takes. he wanted the whole package.
I would treat you as acquaintance at best and eventually move on if you got nothing for me. it's a waste of time.
I'm not saying it's one size fits all. I know sometimes you have to cut people out of your life. I'm just saying I've noticed that guys do this thing a lot where they befriend a girl so they can date her and when she doesn't wanna date they drop her. Im not saying that was OPs case or your case but in a lotta cases it's like that and it's gross.
I did. I really liked her a lot. But. I couldn't be with her. So, it was either get over myself or cut her out of my life forever. And yeah it was infatuation sure but I'm not a dumbfuck who falls in love with a girl and keeps it a secret for however long. I dunno. I just think it's really selfish to destroy a friendship that, from her perspective, was doing just fine. From her perspective it'd be jarring at the very least, you know?
>But alas, my experience has plainly shown me that women aren't like that.
well, don't generalize. I've seen some crafty women doing great jobs. it's not unheard of. it really isn't. it's just a specialized field, usually. so most women are probably not much into it.
He was my friend, we both treasured our friendship and it was amazing. We both developed feelings for each other and eventually we ended up dating, however that amazing person I thought he was changed completely. The way he had once treated me became distant and I became frustrated with waiting for his company, I think he got bored of mine. I gave him sex, space, I was always available for him but it wasn't enough or maybe he wasnt as interested as he made himself out to be. We aren't together anymore and all I desire for right now is his friendship, the company he gave me.
I wish he'd just come and talk to me, in this situation sex didn't help too much, it became something we just did..
Because he wanted more and if they didn't sever the ties you both would have these awkward shitty moments where you know he likes you more than you like him. I shouldn't have to tell a woman that it's fucking weird to be friends with a guy who likes you like that. I don't think it's a matter of entitlement rather than you being a fucking retard that can't empathize with men, like the vast majority of women.
I solved this by being fat. I get to have some pretty cool male friends and hardly anyone wants to fug me.
Although I've been losing weight and I'm getting worried things will change.
>can't talk with women about how i get drunk and jack off to porn of chicks groping other chicks in public places
>can't talk about the circular blade thingies on my razor getting pushed and stuck inside the razor when i push it too hard against my jaw
>can't talk about visiting escorts and cumming six times in half an hour
>can't have hour long discussions about abrahamic religions and debate as to why and how some beliefs got in there and where they originally came from while drinking and listening to loud electronic music
>can't talk about XVIIIth century architecture and how much of a mess european capitals are architecturally speaking and how the city layout is trash and how you could improve it
>can't spend hours drawing plans on how to potentially improve that shit
>can't banter and hit each other
It's 2016, why do people think men and women can be friends? Hell, even two women can't be friends.
It's not hard. At least not for me.
>be me senior year in math
>teacher sits us in triangles, 3 people
>paired with two girls
>told them i wouldn't talk to them for the year
>end up hanging out and going to mall occasionally
What's so gross about it?
No one kept it a secret. He wanted to date, she didn't, he moved on instead of being her orbiter.
Not everyone is like you, who can just turn there feelings on and off.
He had to cut ties with you to stop feeling hurt, and move forward with his life. Talking to you would be too painful because it would remind him of everything that could be, but never will be.
Don't know if that's true but it's what I had to do to a grill once and it seems like a likely possibility here. Of course I very honestly told the girl why I couldn't talk to her and she selfishly continued to reach out to me because she didn't care if I was unhappy, only that she got what she wanted.
>woman are extremely self-centered.
>men are not great at communicating
>sometimes friendships aren't meant to be
Women are property only once they've been married, then you own them, and likewise she owns you.
Thats why assets are split in divorce and that's why you continue praying after they've left.
A man can only be friends with a woman he finds unattractive. Otherwise he'll be in pain at all times when he's around her, because he wants her more than anything and can never have her. I've been there.
This post will give any normal man "cvck syndrome".
tbqh. Women aren't all that interesting outside of pussy. I'd I'm going to waste time just hanging out, it'll probably be with people I can relax and laugh with.
The only reason to have a female friend is when you want to talk about feelings/emotions. You can't really do that with guy friends unless you're really close. Other than that, guys are always the better friends.
The only female friend I have is my little sister.
Honestly, most women make pretty shitty companions, they have absolutely nothing interesting to talk about.
Shit, even pleb-tier gaming beyond smartphone shit escapes them entirely.
I have only met 2 women in my life I was able to form a true friendship with. I am only friends with 1 of them today. It is so much harder to maintain that friendship than with my male friends. I have very little interest in what she chooses to talk about, we have many fundamental philosophical differences in the way we choose to live, I would talk a lot less frequently than we do if I didn't think it helped her so much. As I type this, I think of how I would feel if I lost her friendship. As much as I complained, I would genuinely miss having her in my life.
I think it's harder for most men to have a genuine, caring friendship with a woman than with another man because of their many differences. We are driven by completely different motivators, we respect different principles, we value different traits.
But it is not impossible, and something worth pursuing in my opinion.
Seriously this thread personifies 90% of women perfectly.
>Make a decision
>Want to stick with their decision and still complain about the results of their decision
>Rationalize why they made that decision instead of owning who they are.
>Lie to themselves and claim they "value friendship" when OP really was just inflating her ego and making herself feel more in control by keeping someone who wanted to date her in her life.
GL HF OP TRY NOT TO DIE ALONE
that's always been the name of the game
There is nothing more painful for a man than being liked as a friend and yet not desired as a lover.
Because men KNOW that there are men who women have no ties of friendship with, but who are so incredibly attractive and virile that women can't help but want his cock inside of them.
Men would rather a woman hate him than to only like him as a friend, since that only highlights his sexual unattractiveness.
Also, men are less picky sexually speaking. Most men can easily get it up for any woman who is at least a 3/10, so many men would be delighted to date a female friend even if she wasn't anything close to as attractive as many other women. So there's some mirror-imaging coming into play here; for men, a female friend would have to be far, far more unattractive to go on the "nope, will never have sex with her" than her male counterpart would be for a woman. So a 6/10 man can easily FEEL like he's just been chopped down to a 2 or 1/10 if his female friend rejects his sexual advances.
>roasties complain that men think they're entitled to a gf and sex
>roasties complain because they think they're entitled to friendship
>I tried to tell him that, though. I tried to reiterate that I just want to be friends. That I wanted to hold onto our friendship as dearly possible.
>But he always took it like I was rejecting to him.
Maybe because most women use "I just want to be your friend" and "I valou or friendship" to reject guys they don't find attractive.
Look at it from his POV
-You are his number one friend girl
-He values you more than anything
-You get a boyfriend
-He now has to watch his most valued girl love someone else
You wanted to turn him into a cuck, thankfully he was smart enough to ditch you.