/britfeel/

2nd for tempz
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OZ6G7qwjom4

>>25524161
>not even attempting to mention britfeel
>>25524163
>brifeel
>>25524194
/britfeel/

Top quality by the way lads

>thread deleted for no reason
>just because the mod is salty, probably pakistani

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A waifupost a day keeps the janny at bay

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>>25524379

Go to bed Nakano "no fun allowed" Azusa waifu anon

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>>25524379
waifuposting is best

>>25524409
do not bully other waifuposters, we are all friends here

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>>25524258
>tfw I will never have hair like that

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>>25524409
iie

>Jap text not allowed
Not a fan of this Jannybot9000 gimmick 2bh

>>25524258
>>25524479
>Listening to this shit
Fucking faggots

>>25524484
Fuck jap text lad, you can't even type the bonger symbol

>>25524511
Reckon we should spam the feedback page telling them to remove it again desu

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>>25524379
we're all in this together fellow waifuposters

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>>25524433

No bully, it is actually bed time, for me anyway.

Night anons, I hope you can meet your respective waifus in your dreams.

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>>25524505
>being intimidated this much by black people
jej
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KyCTZ8c-trc

>>25524646
this is britfeel not nigfeel

>>25524656
Same thing in London desu

>>25524646
I'm aware of the scene, don't think i'm ignorant of it
It's still fucking shit you cunt
>being intimidated this much by black people
What? Be honest, you're an actual faggot aren't you

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>>25524379
4u
robo

Hey waifufriends, what animu would you recommend to /pol/?

Posting black music
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uNZK5IxvnMs

Poleaboo thinks he needs to let off some steam. what's a good way to let off steam?

>>25524787
non non byori because it's trash just like the board

>>25524787
Sora no Woto
KanColle

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>>25524769
Good lad

>>25524855
Bad lad

>>25524886
Cheers lad, these sound great.

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>>25524986
Lad... lets agree to disagree

When was the last time you cried lads?

>>25525103
Earlier today.

>>25525130
Don't Want to elaborate?

>>25525103
When I last finished rewatching K-ON, before that was the previous time I finished K-ON, before that the same

>>25525103
Yesterday, I'm so full of regret, wish I could go back to high school

>>25525145
I cried over a video game.

>>25525103
I cried yesterday and I don't know why.

>>25525154
What one lad?

>>25525264
It's embarrassing to say lol.

>>25525268
>anonymous message board

>>25525291
Still, the fact that people will know is enough.

>>25525103
Quite some time ago. I did want to cry a little while back but it never happened so I just shrugged it off.

>>25525345
Spill the beans lad, we're all waiting

>>25525103
Few days ago because I realised my dog is getting older

>abnormie
>but somehow good at making normie friends
>not good at making abnormie friends

I really don't understand. I know some shy nerd girl that I want to be friends with but I'm not, meanwhile there's some hot normie girl who regularly talks to me and when we go out drinking she wants to dance with me etc

Fucking hell

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>>25524855
This wont stand
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vxZl7RxAf0w

>tfw I like no one in my life but my family

Well desu the only people I know besides my family and people in school. Literally everyone of them is incompatable. I just want to have a mate to fuckin have a laugh with but but a retard.

They're all normie-spastics or too fucking socially tame or meme-reddit-retards. I know I'm a picky cunt and all but what can I do?

>>25525490
What makes you abnormie

>>25525644
Maybe you judge people too quickly

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>>25525499
i liked it! the tape tape an shit

who /shipping forecast/ here?

I've never been so comfy

>>25525103
January of 2015 when I had to get my 14 year old chocolate lab put down. He developed some sort of condition that in addition to seizures made him very aggressive and he even bit me a couple of times. After taking him to the vet I cried for about 30 seconds and then I went back to not feeling anything. It was either right before or after my birthday too.

Trying not to fap before going to bed tonight, it's pretty not to hard when I've been doing it for about 5 years every night.

Can I make a claim against the nhs for giving me what is essentially a botched circumcision? They've taken far too much skin off to the point that over the years it's been dragging my ballsack closer to my bellend where it physically looks weird and my balls don't have enough space in there, so I've essentially gotten used to being partly castrated.

>>25525103
Christmas day because I spent it shitposting here instead of spending time with loved ones

>Being able to cry

I wish I could still feel.

>>25525461
Fine, World of Warcraft.

>>25525902
Sad times senpai

>>25525909
Howcome lad? It give you nostalgia feels? I've never played it.

>>25525646
>dropped out of sixth form within the first few months
>only ever occasionally worked with my dad (shitty work and no potential for socialising)
>neet and on the dole for years
>start going to college in September last year at the age of 22
>suffering from depressing for longer than I can remember; never had any therapy or medication and I struggle daily to not let it overcome me
>small circle of friends before college who I often argued with and regularly felt like they hated me
>plenty of people think I have autism of some kind

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>>25525904
>Feeling almost constantly like you need to cry but not being able to

>>25525988
Wew imagine if everyone in the thread was as pathetic as you.

>>25526153
>Bullying people in britfeels
>Calling THEM pathetic
haha

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Who here /lives by themselves/?

>tfw want to go back to college to do a levels
>cant because need a job to pay rent and live
>plus i'm 21

How do I escape this dole and wageslave shit?

>>25525968
>dropping out of 6th form
would seriously have considered killing myself if I were this stupid

>>25526415
Do a foundation degree. You don't need alevels and you can get student finance

>2016
>pakiboo still hasnt killed himself

>>25526415
I do, it's absolute heaven anon...

>>25526492
But how does financing work for a foundation degree? Wouldn't I still have to do atleast a minimum year at college? Which I can't afford...

>>25526582
It's not for me, means I can't save money or go back to into education

>>25524194
ISLAM WILL DOMINATE
SHARIA FOR BRITAIN

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Ian Duncan Smith, my friends, Ian Duncan Smith has 420 different ways devoted to sanction your benefits, each earning him over 200,000 sanctions a year. Now, I have spent the last two months analyzing what all Ian Duncans Smith's rules on sanctioning benefits mean, and I still can't figure it out. One thing I do know is that the neets drank five million gallons of alcohol last year, and I'll bet that half of that was drank while weeping into Ian Duncan Smith's best-selling books beloved by politicians all over the world.

The new law of NEET seems to be survival of the unfittest. Well, in my book you either do it right or you get eliminated.

The last seven books that I read were all benefits advice books, and I enjoyed the hell out of each and every one of them.

I am not a destroyer of culture. I am a liberator of it!

The point, ladies and gentlemen, is that Dole is good.

Dole is right.

Dole works.

Dole clarifies, cuts through, and captures the essence of the evolutionary spirit.

Dole, and all of it's perks -- Free money for booze and smokes, Waking up at 8pm, Being slandered by the Daily Mail on a daily basis and the excitement you feel at midnight before every pay day -- has marked the upward surge of mankind.

And Dole -- you mark my words -- will not only save a neet, but that other malfunctioning corporation called the United Kingdom.

Thank you very much.

>>25526798
what are you gonna do with the a-levels?

>>25526994
Engineering but I'd do anything desu... Anything is better than wageslaving or being on JSA. Just need to get a levels m9

>>25526798
No, some unis have zero (0) entry requirements. You do 2 years foundation degree which is 2/3 of a normal degree, then you do another year to make it an honours.

I was thinking of doing this as I can't afford one of those access courses either.

>>25527106
But you'd still need to complete the access course which could take who knows how long. You still need money and time.

Gonna order some shit off DNM when I learn how to use it safely.

How difficult is it?

>>25527182
it's easy
they don't care about you ordering stuff off it

>>25527242
Who is 'they'

Any sites you would recommend. I know a lot of shit is down

>>25527134
No you don't... Foundation degrees require no qualifications to do.

>>25527182
Not too hard, find a dnm that's legit. I used to use agora but it's down now. You'll have to learn how to use a pgp key, find the reddit guide 'pgp 4 noobz'. Buy bitcoin through bittylicious

>>25527304
the police
they're after the sellers

>>25527134

Found this after some light googling.
http://www.theguardian.com/education/2013/aug/19/how-to-get-into-university-without-alevels

>>25527395
Aren't a lot of the sellers Indian which would mean they're out of our jurisdiction ? Well, I suppose it depends what you're buying but I know for prescription drugs most sellers are Indian.

>>25527527
some, not all

Some night time music lads
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WoWRUkEaR7k
Interview at 11 baka 2bh famalam m8 lads

3 hours left lads then I am free!!

>>25528301
What a mysterious post.
Was it made by a genie, prisoner, some ancient demon?

fucking hell lads, im wasting my life

I'm 19 in 8 months and I've not done one exciting thing in my life. All I want to do is have a wild teenage life but the chance is gone. I have no friends at all. Just going to buy acid and fuck about in my room alone

>>25527384
Not always, mine required BCC to get in, thankfully they accepted my CCC
comp sci

>>25528623
just wait till you're thinking the same thing at 28

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>>25528463
Maybe a captive robot lured in by a women to be her slave. 3 hours until the poison kicks in. He could have used it on her or himself, I like to think the earlier.
Maybe it's this pepper in my captcha

>>25528902
I'm at work cuz

>>25529045
pretty boring 2bh

>>25529283
Sorry to disappoint you famalam

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A penny for your thoughts lads?

7 minutes until the announcement, lads.

Let's hope it's a WWIII declaration.

>>25529908

What announcement?

>>25529957
The North Korean announcement

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/asia/northkorea/12083984/North-Korea-earthquake-a-suspected-explosion.html

>>25529979

Oh, I hope they don't nuke Japan I want to see the new Berserk anime

>>25529830
I would have done it too desu, tattoos are idiotic

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>>25529830
lmao
what a stupid fucking whore

What are you gay boyes doing up at this hour?

I'm at work, what's your excuse?

>>25530183

Nocturnal NEET.

What do you work as? Security guard?

>>25530260
Machine operator. Good money, plenty of days off and tons of overtime if I want it.

Can't beat it.

12 hour shifts suck but I wouldn't be able to work 3 and get 6 off if I did 8 hour shifts.

>>25530323

Sounds comfy as fuck, but not the sort of thing I thought you could do while shitposting. How did you get into it?

>>25529979
What was the announcement then?

>>25530386
That they successfully tested a H-Bomb and are developing them to protect their interests against America

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>mfw I have a large bedroom, my own bathroom, free food & utilities, a cleaner who comes once a week, a pool I can use any time and both my parents are out for 8-10 hours a day at least

How's that studio apartment going for you, renties?

>>25530661
Whats up mate?

>>25524194
Lads I'm new to the UK and I use to be on ADHD meds and I need them now, thing is i can't get a prescription for them. How and where do i buy them?

>>25524656
Who do you think runs Britain?
>>25524698
You sound so scared and triggered relax cuz

>>25531293
dark net matey

>>25531389
where can you get drugs there?

>>25531401
use reddit if you want to be spoon fed

>>25531492
searched there are still have no clue what to do

>finally got kicked out of my benefits after the guvment lost patience
>now joined some 100% commission based marketing gig that's probably gonna end up badly
>they're actually upfront about this shit though, none of those false promises/you can be a manager in 5 months/omitting the salesperson description.

Do people actually make money off this shit? Like the company is 8 years old and has branches all around england so SOMEONE has to be making profit.

I'll be in charge of selling those weekly subscription for healthy food deliveries with recipes and shit.

I just need something to tide things over while I get an actual salaried job.

>>25527106
I did an Access course and got it paid for free. The trick is to get on JSA a few months before you enroll. You get it paid for when on JSA.

>>25531835
If you're good at sales you can make money, it's a revolving door though and the fact it's commission means it's low risk to hire.

please dont die britfeel, i need you all

>>25532416

Don't worry, I just woke up.

Although I'm really sicks so if I stop checking in I'm dead and you all did nothing to save me.

>>25533228
i would hug you if i could anon, but that might just spread the sickness to me, still you're worth it

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I fucking hate to be a mentally ill wagecuck lads
99% of people who are like me just become NEET

>>25533253

Don't be daft Anon. Hugging feels better when you're well anyway so it's not worth it.

who /wantstosuicide/ here

wish i could but would upset mummy too much, going to have to wait at least another 20-40 years before she passes away. i'm in hell

>>25533825
pretty much in the same boat senpai, just waiting and biding my time, i hate how much i care about my mum

>>25533825
Murder-suicides are very popular.

>>25533825
Same here bro

Although lately I've been thinking I really can't stand my parents, it's their fault I exist in the first place and they made me who I've become so fuck em maybe they should have put a slight bit of effort into parenting if they didn't want me to kill myself.

So I'm leaning over the fence at the moment I think I could easily go for it.

>read into ESA
>eligible for work-related-activity but not support group
>know myself that i'm too incompetent to even show up to WRA, but none of my stuff measures on the tests
should probably kill myself t-b-h lads

>>25534439
wtf is a support group

Morning lads, how is everyone? I've just got back from a dawn raid on my local cafe, 2 of everything, mug of tea and a pint of juice, fucking bliss and no washing up.

>>25534489
support group = they leave you alone and just send you money because you're a lost cause
work related activity = have to go to interviews, training etc but not actually get a job

>>25534506
>tfw lost cause

>>25534439
>>eligible for work-related-activity but not support group
What did you read to work that out senpai?

>>25534558
to get support group you need one of these:
https://www.benefitsandwork.co.uk/employment-and-support-allowance/esa-glossary/1353-support-group-descriptors
which i don't have
but i have quite a few of the lesser descriptors:
https://www.sense.org.uk/content/esa-descriptors-determine-whether-you-have-limited-capability-work
putting me over 15 points when totalled up.

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I have to make a confession.
I'm an Amerifag, and Britfeel threads are my favorite threads on 4chan. They're so comfy.
Please don't hate me.

>>25534505
I just woke up from a really weird dream

>on my laptop
>torrenting this weird file
>open the file
>Windows tells me not to open it
>open it anyway
>all this text about how now I have opened the file they own my laptop and I need to perform sexual favours on webcam to get it back
>lel whatever
>try to close it and my laptop resets
>starts up again and there is loads of weird pixelated shit like old school Super Mario and Ronald McDonald on the screen
>webcam turns on
>instructions come up that I have to finger my ass to get laptop back
>this Mexican girl in her underwear appears in a window like on Skype watching me
>as does this middle aged lady in another window
>Nope.jpg
>close my laptop
>wake up with my laptop still on my bed from last night
>check it is oky

What the fuck is wrong with my head

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>>25534658
YANK OUT

>>25534044
nah, would never hurt my mum, or anyone for that matter desu. it's mostly my fault the way i am.

mummy is the only person who really loves me so just going to stick around with her and off myself when she passes.

>>25533997
i hate it too, wish i didn't care so i could leave now. least i have you lads here to keep me company. hope this place is still around in some manner 10-20 years down the road.

>>25534673
lewd, i hope you get pegged by 3 women and cum all over yourself some day

>>25534622
Is there any training or courses you can do to get the qualifications you need to get on ESA? It looks really good.

I knew this fat kid once whose parents were hoarders like Chris-Chan. They left a bunch of plugs on the stairs facing upwards and the fat kid ran downstairs barefoot and stood on the plugs putting holes in his feet. Then he got to sign onto disability allowance while he couldn't walk.

>>25534742
stepping on a plug is the worst, stepping on them hard enough to put holes in yer feet? i can't even begin to imagine the pain

>>25534658
It's real nigga hours and you're drinking tea with the brits?

>>25534742
>parents were hoarders
Worst thing that can happen to a kid desu.

I'd probably still have friends if I could have invited them over without dying of embarrassment.

>tfw woke up laying in bed browsing 4chan
>if I was still a wageslave I'd be rushing to the office right now

Life is good.

Think I'm going to have a shower now lads then see if mummy will cook me a fry up. I'm in quite a good mood today so I might pop into town later on for a look around.

>>25534742
>training or courses you can do to get the qualifications you need to get on ESA?
what, you mean like how to lie your way onto it?

just read the descriptors and pick some of the easier ones to fake.

>>25534802
>I'd probably still have friends if I could have invited them over without dying of embarrassment.

iktfb apart from my parents weren't hoarders they were alchys.

I don't blame people for being NEET shut ins it is normally entirely the parents fault.

>>25534817
Dunno why any one would ever want to lie to get on ESA, it literally blacklists you for life from ever being a productive member of society.

>>25534903
some of them will already never do anything productive (but aren't disabled), might as well get paid to be useless.

>>25534658
I don't hate you. I hope you have a nice night, friend

Anyone else feel like their own mind could make them go insane sometimes?
Like I feel that when I'm left alone without any powerful distractions like when I'm in bed late at night I can literally feel my sanity slipping away, can be pretty scary sometimes

>tfw seeing my /britfeel/ bf this weekend for the second time

Should I panic today or save that as a treat for myself for tomorrow?

>>25535032
>I'm in bed late at night I can literally feel my sanity slipping away, can be pretty scary sometimes
I know that feel lad, it's why I'm never sleeping properly, always too scared to be alone with myself.

>>25535067
cute, where is he from?

>>25534903
Why would I want to be a productive member of society?

>>25535123
For some NEETlife isn't a vocation just a dalliance.

>>25535067

Is it true love or is this a heterosexual relationship?

Jesus christ, how is it almost 9 already?
I've been drinking since about 6pm and have got fuckall done.
Send help

I want to kill myself.

Can anyone recommend a pain free, instant method?

>>25535444
You scored some trips senpai, that's more than i'll do today.

>>25535444
I dunno, I woke up around 6 and now it's 9. All I've done since waking up is do a little washing up

dub, trip, dub, dub sequence there lads, good going!

>>25535444
Alcohol?
Your life is garbage.

>>25535488
head over train track
instant loss of consciousness due to drop in blood pressure

Why are we so slow today guys?

>>25536064
>tfw interview in 1 hour and fluffy beard face
Hopefully don't get the job

>>25536375
What's it for anon?

>>25534439
That's what the government want you to do.

Probably the last place to ask, but how do I find motivation to do shit?

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Just spent the last hour meticulously cleaning my room, polished everything, hoovered, cleaned my key board and mouse even took a nail brush to them to get all the shit out of the seams. Blasted out my pc with some compressed air even pulled my bed all the way out and hoovered under it. Really went to town.
Sat here drinking a cold orange capri sun enjoying the smell of polish and listening to some Deftones. Ain't felt this satisfied for along time lads.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iJRuKK2hnxw

>>25536718
Caffeine always motivates me to shit.

>>25536735
Have you tried that gloop for cleaning keyboards? Really did a good job on muh laptop.

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>>25536787
Nah, I just blasted all the shit out with some compressed air I used on my PC, then sprayed a ton of polish on it then buffed it with a cloth. I'll keep an eye out next time I buy some stuff though, I used my last can of air today so I'll be looking to get some more shit to keep it chugging along.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cHiP3_-N0Vc

>>>25536718
There is no reason to do anything.

>>25536812
That's the one I used, work's a treat!

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Cleaning-Keyboard-Laptop-Computer-Crumbs/dp/B00E8NHEDQ

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>>25536857
Hey thanks dude, I'll wishlist it so I don't forget to pick it up when I order some more compressed air off there

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oXU6kdYGx8o

Guys how shit am I at music?

http://vocaroo.com/i/s0XxNW3VgfWn

>>25536718
Have a manic episode.

>>25537067
I don't like it but I've never been a big oasis fan.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A9DH0_b3F1c

Just found 30 bong in my holiday bag lads!

>>25524379
I always thought Azusa kind of spoiled the characterisation of the other four.

>>25537173
That's not Oasis

>>25537261
Yes it is

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xECUrlnXCqk

>>25537217
What you gonna spend it on lad?

just had a call regarding being a territory manage for unilever ice cream or some shit, gonna respond to the voice male.

>We would like personable people with high energy and self-motivation
>Results focussed individuals looking for a challenge
>Effective and flexible communicators
>Great Inter-personal skills
>People with high levels of initiative and the ability to work without direct supervision
>Some experience in a similar field of sales/ van sales or merchandising role in the Retail, Convenience or foodservice sector will be an advantage, but full training will be provided to the successful candidate, plus ongoing support


no fucking clue how I got in man, im not qualified at all. I don't even have a car

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Angry Anon, filled with rage and cruel nature,
Pray for the soul who feels in his path,
Angry Anon, he sees his mum later,
Foul is the smell emit from her arse

Angry Anon, lo' change your ways quickly!
We know you feel, won't you share us your pain,
As a small boy, his brain was quite sickly,
GFs avoid, for his penis too lame

THANKYOU SKY NEWS FOR KEEPING ME UPDATED ON THE NEW JIHADI WEAPONS DEVELOPMENTS!

Seriously starting to believe this whole I.S shit is just q conspiracy

>>25537388
Not sure 2bh, it's cash so that means going outside to spend it (REEEEEEEEE) unless it's on takeaways and I'm on a new years resolution to cut them out.

alright lads how are we today

>>25537404
Always assume HR people are more deficient than yourself.

>>25537407
10/10 gold as always

>>25536718
Use hatred of others to better yourself.

>>25537511
Having a blinder 2bh lad, slept overnight for the second day in a row!

>>25537404

You will have to drive around begging people to buy stacks of wholesale ice cream.

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>>25537511
Tired as fuck, been up since midnight, trying to marathon today to get my sleep back on track.

>>25537511

I don't feel well, even a shower with this amazing Molton Brown stuff I got for Christmas doesn't help.

>>25537511
Not bad mate day so far

>got up
>had a shower
>cleaned bedroom
>cleaned kitchen
>played on my gutiar

Was thinking about going to into town for a bit to buy a new kettle and get a tasty wrap from this amazing wrap place but I think it is getting a bit late in the day now. Will probably just head up to the offy get some beers in them come home and play some vidya while listening to music/podcasts.

How are you?

>finally finished reading all of poleaboos blog

Took me 3 days ffs. What a waste of my time, a real low point in my life right now. Although might read the UTV fan fiction again now.

I always do this weird shit before my exams in winter. I really don't know why I become such a social recluse during this time.

Probably heightened by the fact she hasn't replied to me in over a week.

>>25537645
Who? Some whore you want to fuck but don't have the balls to approach in person?

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>>25537607

You want a tasty wrap eh?

>>25537663
Not from here mate there is this Turkish place in town does the best wraps I've had

>>25536735
Boy makes you think doesn't it? If you actually worked hard at getting a career, girlfriend or even getting into shape you might actually achieve something and even feel good about yourself.
But instead here you are. Posting anime girls because the sight of real women makes you uncomfortable. Using the anime avatar and a signature of some shitty music off youtube.
You need to be banned, and then kill yourself.

>>25537645
>might read the UTV fan fiction again now.

Is that the guy from /sp/ we got caught up in loads of weird shit on other boards? I always saw him posting on /sp/ for years but never understood that whole storyline.

>>25537696

UTV wrote it all himself I think, he's just a huge attention whore. He was some crappy /sp/ trip who supported Aston Villa, that tells you all you need to know about his personality.

>>25537693
Very edgy post my friend

>>25537662

No, a qt virginal princess mate. I've met her many times but shes often weird such as thinking I may have got her pregnant when fingering her one time, and has been on holiday tbf so explains not replying. Also she live like 2/3 hours away and says she doesnt want a bf because shes never had one and scared.

Virgins arent all they're cracked up to be my man.

>>25537696

Yeah thats him, I used to post in /trb/ often just to see him I think. Used to have great stories about shitting in backpacks and stuff. The worry is, rationalising these things and hearing about them influences you too. I started pissing in the sink out of slothery after reading them and had to convince myself it was foul behaviour.

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>tfw got 3 A Levels in English, History and Philosophy
>tfw can't do a stem course because they all want some STEM A levels

Despite the meme should i just go for a humanities degree, or is it just going to be a waste of time and money?

>>25537753
>I started pissing in the sink out of slothery after reading them

I thought everyone did this? I piss in the sink fairly often if I am going to the bathroom anyway and cba with the toilet and also I am a big fan of pissing out of the window. Unfortunately my bedroom is at the front of the house now so I can't do it because all the neighbours would see me, but when I was in the back room I would never go to the toilet I would always just slash out the window.

>>25537753
Nobody mentioned virgins you insecure retard.
I'm talking about you getting friendzoned and then making up this story about playground tier sexual interaction with her.

>>25527384
>Foundation degrees require no qualifications to do.

Yes they do, or at least the ones i looked at have. The one i'm looking at now wants CCC at A level.

>>25537798
Waste of time mate just sign on the dole it's way better.

>>25537798
Wish I could swap my A levels with yours, I did physics, biology and maths but all I want to study at uni is psychology

>>25537798
No degree means you won't be able to compete. Everyone gets a degree, even if it's in something shitty like humanities

>>25537693
pssst.. sometimes I post without posting links or pics. Not sure how sharing music with people who might like to have a listen is somehow making you froth at the vagina pal.

>>25537831
That's bullshit. The fact everyone has a degree means they are worthless and employers don't care about them. They prefer experience and personality.

>>25537801
I do it as a treat sometimes if I'm up late because the floor outside the bathroom is squeaky as fuck and right next to my parents bedroom.

Right lads gunna have a beer then decide if I should go to the offy or if I should offy my self.

>>25537801
I'm too short, my willy would have to rest on the rim of the sink and then my piss would shoot straight forward.

>>25537864
Yes they are worthless, so to not have one leaves you in dire straits.

>>25537802

You literally insinuated that I was chasing a whore. I suggested otherwise. I don't think I'm the most insecure out of the two of us. I'm certainly not friendzoned because I don't often talk to her, so not even a friend.

>>25537801

You make me feel better about it, but I must remember that people on here aren't exactly aspirational in terms of lifestyle choices. I guess it's not pissing your pants at the arcade because you're too beta to ask for a potty break like poleaboo.

why do you bongistan cunts need an entire thread all to yourselves?

can't you just feel without announcing your nationality?

Did any of you lot have one of those toys that looked a bit like a fleshlight?

They were made of rubber, had a hole in the middle and were full of water so you could slip them around in your hands.

Bet they would be great for wanking.

>>25537864
>m-my personality will get me the job
zozzle

>>25537918
>women can only be whores or virgins
This is some true MRA thinking bud, what made you so bitter about women?
This whore you're after perhaps?

>>25537915
That makes no sense. They're worthless so it doesn't matter whether you have one or not. It's like having a chocolate teapot mate.

>>25537929
We're the most depressed nation in the world, we need an entire thread to contain our feels.

Why aren't you at work anons?

>>25537931
Alright mate keep believing employers prefer an autist with a piece of paper rather than a chad with charisma and personality.

>>25537971
Because I'm an autistic NEET.

>>25537816
I was already on the dole for a few years and got kicked off m8. So it's wagecuckery or uni now.

>>25537823
Surely you can do psychology anyway with those A levels? I just looked and at a few random psychology courses and they specifically ask for your A levels.

>>25537831
Part of the reason why i want to get a degree. I'm stuck in retail at the moment.

>>25537959
They're only worthless if you've got one. If you don't have one you are pretty fucked, any decent job asks for at least a 2:1 (note this is code for first but they will consider a 2:1 with experience).

>>25537801
I did a shit out of my window once for a laugh. I had a window seat so I positioned it so that my arse was hanging out but I could still grab the corners of the walls to keep myself steady. My house is surrounded by fields so no danger of any neighbours seeing my shitter.

>>25537958

I believe we have different views of what makes a whore if you think a girl thats 20 and never had a bf, sex or I have a sneaky suspicion based upon how bad she was at kissing initially not even kissed a guy before.

I never suggested women are either or, I actually leave my house.

>>25537971
Because working is literally for cucks

>>25537959
It does make sense. The point is if everyone has a degree, but you don't even have one, you're automatically shut out just by not having one.

>>25537971
Because I can barely leave the house
>>25537984
Really? wow I really hope so, I recently dropped out of the course I was doing because it wasn't me and I had no interest in it, I'd love to go back, just not sure if I should get a job for a bit first

>>25537971
I'm on holiday m8.

I only work part-time anyway so i wouldn't be in today regardless.

>>25537995
>she promised me she'd never been with anyone
>this was while I, a total stranger to her, was finger banging her behind KFC

Alright mate, very funny.

>>25537985
Okay mate I can assure you this is wrong because I didn't even finish college I just went out working got some experience then eventually got a job in finance on 25k a year just because I'm a good worker and good people's person.

My brother started a programming degree but never finished it and he's earning about 40k at the moment as some kind of programming boss at a marketing company.

My other brother also never finished college and he earns about 50k as a regional manager for a DIY chain.

His wife never finished college and she earns 70k as the head of online marketing at another DIY chain.

I'm not saying you can be a doctor or lawyer without a degree, but most jobs without complex specialties are obtainable without one.

>>25538032

You're just making up stories now. I won't keep responding if you act childish. If you want to act like a real adult I can explain the events that lead to it.

>>25537991
You're a legend mate. I love you.

>>25537991

A work colleague once told me a great story about a guy who met his gfs parents for the first time that was his friend. Apparently he took a shit in their toilet and it didnt flush and after 5 minutes of fucking about he decided the only course of action was to dispose of the shit.

He collected it in one of his socks and threw it out of the window. Evidence gone, or so he thought. He hears a thud as he chucks it and thinks nothing of it, goes downstairs to the family proud of his work. They stair at him from their conservatory and notice his 1 sock. Then he notices on the roof of the conservatory it is splattered in shite and his sock is there. Unsure how the events transpired after that.

>>25537971
I only work Friday and Saturdays, the rest of the week I play videogames and spend my wages on kebabs.

>>25538054
This pretty much

I started out 6 years ago in an entry level job, now I'm an analyst making 20k a year with other benefits. Just need to work hard and if you want to get somewhere make sure those people know who you are

>>25538056
I don't think anybody cares mate. You've been shown to be a an insecure liar, just making up stories to try and impress us.
It's pretty sad.

>>25538109
Proper laughing. I hope that is true.

>>25538054
>25k a year

Yes but what if he wants a good job?

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>>25538054
>good people's person.

>>25538139
25k is average wage. What job would he get that starts above 25k and like I said isn't some specialty thing like doctor, lawyer, etc?

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>>25538109
That's fucking hilarious.

Why are shit stories always the best ones?

>>25537475
Of course it's a conspiracy. I'm not even a tinfoil hat wearing guy but even I know it's obviously a conspiracy.

The idea that first world countries can't handle this kebab threat just makes me laugh every time.

>oh no, they have remote controlled car bombs!!!1

We have fucking planes that can be controlled from a basement in a different continent which can blow you up with pinpoint accuracy and probably break the sound barrier at the same time. The last thing we need to worry about is a bunch of shitskins with AK47s and pickup trucks.

We should just let them kill each other or just drop a bunch of Agent Orange on everything so they will starve and have deformed kids like Vietnam.

>>25525103
Sitting next to my Nan when she was out of it due to drugs and being told by the doctor she was going to die within the next 24 hours.

Haven't cried that much in a long time.

>>25538158
>speciality
It's called having a decent job.

>>25538186
So only doctor, lawyer, etc are decent jobs?

Okay mate, and what do you do for a living?

>>25538130
>>25538159

I almost pissed myself when he told me it. He recalled the story much better than I did.

I also had a kind of Chad friend at school who had some weird habits that I'm reminded of. For example he actually kept a "poo knife" in his bathroom because his shits were often too big to flush. Also he used to cum on his curtains, or hand to curtain I don't know for like 3 years and they started rotting so he decided to pour boiling water on it only making the smell so bad his mum barged into his room asking what the smell was with stinging eyes. He also had piss bottles but despite this terrible hygiene issues was very popular and had lots of female attention.

I would refer to him as the secret robot.

>>25538168
Just think of it this way mate, if your nan never had your mum then your mum wouldn't have been able to have you so then you wouldn't be in this shit existence. Fuck her mate she's jus as much to blame for this as your parents are.

>>25525103
When Lemmy from Motorhead did ;'(

>>25538113
>I only work Friday and Saturdays

how do you support yourself

>>25538211
Chemical research scientist, 36k/year
Not great at the moment but it pays the bills. Once I've been in the job for a year or so I should be getting good pay.

>>25538227
No need to project your negativity onto me anon, I'm not as bitter and jaded as you.

>>25525103
September of 2014. Before that, I can't remember. Maybe 2011?

>>25537798
Study business and then get a job working for your local council.

I have a friend who is a literal moron and only studied business because it was easy, he didn't need to go to many lectures and he just wanted to drink all day and party like a normie.

He now works for the council doing something with housing and he's laughing. Drives around in a brand new BMW and he's about to put a deposit on a nice house.

Local councillors are the greediest set of bastards you'll meet. Many are on more money than MPs

>>25538214
If my shits are too big I just try to blend it up with the toilet brush.

>>25538211
I'm a sandwich artist thank you very much. I make 7 pounds 50 pence an hour and I got a first in my sandwich making degree from Oxford, I then did a one year placement in Best Kebab House before securing a place at one of the biggest Subway outlets in Swindon.

Don't be bitter just because you are not as academic as me.

>>25538250
lad is that job attainable when I have a MChem or do I need a PhD?

>>25538250
So you make less money than everyone else I anecdoted apart from me, and I've been at the job a year, I don't have to pay any student loan back and I probably have more money saved than you do due to my years of working while you spent time at uni.

You're so amazing though mate, we're all really jealous.

Poleaboo would like everyone here to know that he considers them his friends, you are all very important to his quality of life and welfare.

He values everyone who has sympathised with him, given him advice and even just take a few seconds out to acknowledge him by giving him a (you)

Poleaboo would like to go on to apologise if he has in any was upset, offended or distressed anyone in these threads, it was not his intention and he will do all he can to avoid repeating his mistakes

>>25538308
go away pls

>>25538308
This is a poleaboo-free zone, please go.

>>25538308
How autistic are you? You sperglord.

got mouth ulcer, fuck me it hurts
it's at front of top lip, and right near where I have a chip on the front of one my tooth, like a jagged edge. so moving my lips the tooth digs into it. also got another one on the other side of top lip but it's not as bad

>>25538244
The same way I supported myself when I was on the dole. I live at home.

>>25538277
Salute this man.

All the other wagecucks can skidaddle with the quickness.

>>25538363
get the gel that numbs it, with benzocaine in it iirc
use some for fapping too

>>25537930
Yeah I remember them. They sort of suck your finger in if you put it in there. I think they'd be too small to wank with though. I don't think the hole was very stretchy.

>>25538308

I small part of me pities you because it will be hard for you to get out of the situation you're in now. Most of me knows you are the source of 99% of your problems though.

I suggest you have two options to improve your life.

1) You move to another country. A cheap country. A country that will be impressed purely because you're British (south or east Europe would be easy mode, or Asia) and where you can start your life afresh without the lingering criminal convictions. You're leaving nothing behind and places abroad are often cheap and would employ you to teach English or something just because you're native speaker. You could then literally find a Polish dom and live your fantasies.

2) You kill yourself. No half arsed measure. You do it seriously. You end it all and you save the rest of the world having to suffer your existence as well as us.

I personally don't care which you choose. 1 less paki in Britain either way.

>>25538363

Mouth ulcers fucking suck, I get them quite a lot myself, I use salt on them. It hurts a bit, but it teaches the ulcer what's what.

Bowel ulcers are worse.

>>25537929
Feels like you need some tea and a chat lad, what feels you today?

>>25538400
>You move to another country.
Is there some kind of step by step guide on how to find somewhere to live, work and get by with limited/zero knowledge of the language?

Already had 4 cups of coffee lads

>>25534802
>I'd probably still have friends if I could have invited them over without dying of embarrassment.
So much fucking this. I know it's the cowards way to blame your problems on others but so many of my problems stem from my Father being such a shit human being.

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Conspiracy theory of the day: ISIS are a proxy army of Israel to create a further expanded zionist state.

Just ordered Chinese lads

3x Vegetable Spring Rolls
Salt & Chili Chicken Wings
Crispy Shredded Chili Beef
Egg Fried Rice
Prawn Crackers

Going to get down the offy now to get some beers in before they arrive

>>25538495
you the guy who always complains how takeaways aren't open at 8 in the morning?

>>25538491
That would be fine if it was if Israel gets rid of Islam I am all for it.

>>25538436

I moved to Germany to study and only took 1500 because its all I managed to save in a year. If I don't get a job soon I'm fucked. But I literally just booked a place in a hostel and found a place to live in a week. Everyone knows English and I slowly learn the language on duolingo and a lil bit whilst here. It's free to study here so if you take advantage you meet new people, make contacts for work and friends and shit to find out more and people love you because you're british.

If you're serious about moving, and you should be if theres nothing for you in the UK I would be willing to help you based on my experience a bit more. I might even put you up for a bit if you wanted to come here, but like I said I really need to find a job first. Maybe I'll fucking conform and teach english to chinese kids online for 6 quid an hour. Although they probably wont have me after I ignored them for 2 months and counting.

>>25538462

I swear I never got a gf because I was embaressed about my mum because she seems to do her level best to always fucking show me up. Plus shes weird as fuck.

>>25538507
Haha nah bud that's not me I'm the guy who normally gets pizza though. Felt like going for something a bit healthier today though.

>>25538400

Mate you have just helped my porn searching immeasurably by giving me a brain wave.

I like femdom, but most of all, I like east euro dominatrixes, or russian, or what have you. I can just get the translation for dominatrix in each language on google translate and my results will improve! American accents on women really turn me off.

>>25538491
Saw a Polish guy post this on facebook

>>25538491
>ISIS are a proxy army of Israel to create a further expanded zionist state.
Like all other conspiracy theories out there, this is retarded.

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>>25538257
My shits are like torpedoes, they shoot out and go around the u-bend all by themselves.

>>25538534

This. Why the fuck would Jews want Muslims to take over Europe?

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>>25538495
>Ni Hao. We are prepawing your food right now Mr. Anon.

>>25538530

That was far from the intention of my post. Please consider the options and/or seek serious medical help.

>>25538551

I'm not Poleaboo, I just having a thing for east euro women in my porn.

>>25538514
You'll be sorry when a Rabbi is sucking your unborn childs cock.

http://www.haaretz.com/jewish/news/israel-s-chief-rabbinate-says-oral-suction-at-circumcision-is-preferred-1.517349

>>25538516
Got over 7000 quid saved up

>found a place to live in a week.
"Auditioning" for flatshares is stressful

>you meet new people, make contacts for work and friends and shit to find out more and people love you because you're british.
This sounds stressful too

>If you're serious about moving, and you should be if theres nothing for you in the UK I would be willing to help you based on my experience a bit more.
I would like to read a lengthy detailed greentext of your life experiences

>I might even put you up for a bit if you wanted to come here,
Standards in Germany are likely too high for me still, I was thinking more like the Balkans

>>25538544
So they have the middle east to themselves.

>>25538586

So they have a barren sandy dump, while their mortal enemies have Europe and America?

>>25538540
When you turn round to an empty loo it's a poodini.

>>25538604
Jews mortal enemies are Christian Europeans, the ones who kicked them out of every country for a millennium

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>>25538436
>language

Find your favourite torrent site proxy, go there, and search for "michel thomas v3" - no typo there, his name is michel.

There you will find a 20gb torrent containing the best language courses ever devised for most relevant languages. You don't have to download them all, just download the folders that you're interested in.

Within 8 hours of learning time you will have a decent grasp of your chosen language's grammar

By the way '8 hours of learning time' doesn't mean 'leave it on in the background while you browse dank memes'. It means give your full attention and do the exercises.

Once you know the grammar its just a case of building vocabulary and practising, which is super easy if you're learning a latin-based language, and also not too bad if you're learning a germanic one. If you're learning chinkese, moonspeak or sandnigger then stop it and learn a civilized language.

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>>25538654
Promoting Jewish media

>>25538654
>ust download the folders that you're interested in
P-P-Polish, but that's not smart, is it?

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>>25538654
>I used Michel Thomas and it didn't improove my employability

>>25538720
The fuck is going on with his ear?

>>25538585

Ok so you could probably literally buy something outright in a shit part of south europe with 7000, not even joking.

I don't know your standards and expectations but I have friends who teach and live in China, 2 mates in Poland together from school and myself in Germany so kinda have a lot of experience because we're from a really boring part of the UK everyone just leaves.

I was actually about to go out and tick a few things off my list (pay rent, apply for this job in town and buy food). Have you got a way to contact you other than here, or will you still be here in like 2 hours?

Once I find a bit of motivation I have to take advantage of it.

>>25538732
Its a clit ear created by those gauge shits the hipsters stretch their lobes with

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>>25538748
I wish i had become a plastic surgeon. Ear lobe reconstruction is gunna be a fucking goldmine.

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Just finished several hours of looking for jobs online lads.

Why the fuck do retailers expect you to be some retail paragon of customer service. Reading essentially the same spiel on every website is making my stomach turn. I think its majorly unrealistic what they expect people's attitudes to be for repetitive and uninteresting work.

Looking for a new job is suffering...

>>25538740
>will you still be here in like 2 hours?
Yeah, and the hour after that and the hour after that etc

>>25538757
Retail jobs are impossible to get, 100 applications and they'll just pick the stacy

>>25538585
If you have any other questions about emigrating it's Lisbonbro here you can ask me too

>>25538757
>Why the fuck do retailers expect you to be some retail paragon of customer service.

Because retail is the most-applied-to job ever.

Why aren't you developing some kind of marketable skill RIGHT NOW anon?

Back from the offys lad, few observations

>walked past some dustbin men doing the recycling
>looked like a really fun job they were all running about collecting the bins and having banter
>there was this fit chavvy bird in the street I was checking her out but then one of the bin men came past and she started looking at him and then she said some stuff to him and they started flirting so I stopped looking
>bin man seems like really cool job you get to run about, have banter and chav birds fancy you

after that I walked past some pikey kids who were shouting and smashing up a car while walking their greyhounds.

>get to offy
>two rough looking blokes outside starring at me as I come in
>go in and no shop people
>then this white dude comes out from the back and shouts 'for fucks sake!!'
>I go to him 'alright mate'
>he is Eastern Euro he says yea sorry mate it's not you it's the other two
>buying my beers the two rough guys from outside come in
>Eastern Euro yells at one of them for not working and standing outside talking all the time
>The guy he is yelling at is a fat british neckbeard/chav crossbread
>I leave as they argue

It's weird that offy was always Sikhs but now it's full of whiteys and they they're already fucking it up lol

Anyway I got 4 Imperial Red, 4 Hobgoblin, gunna start drinking now and play some vidya, Chinese should be here any minute.

Let the NEET times roll boys!!!

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>tfw 2 scotch eggs and 2 MOTHER FUCKING VANILLA DANISH CROWNS
forced into working another factory, start on friday, might just pretend I'm retarded and fail the induction, 7.50 an hour though I hope it's not going to be hard

>>25538908
>Tfw literally no factories anywhere near where I live so no danger of ever having to get a factory job

Feels comfy man

>>25538755
I want to stick my dick in it

might go get some new clothes lads.

which shop does the best jeans? i'm thinking h&m
what about shirts and stuff?

>>25538844
Is physically moving to another (European) country different to moving to another town?

Did you do it like >>25538516 said?

Book a hostel and then search for flatshares or did you have something sorted before moving to the country?

>>25538954
>Is physically moving to another (European) country different to moving to another town?

Not really mate, you don't need any papers or anything. You literally just buy a plane ticket, bring all your shit and get a house. The only differences are stuff like you'll need to set up a new bank account for the country, but overall it is practically the same as moving down the road these days with the EU.

>>25538954
>>25538999
Sorry I didn't see your second question mate. I had a place sorted out before going, there is a really good website called uniplaces you can use to find a place. It's meant to be for students, hence the name, but I'm not a student and no one ever asked me about it so....

>>25538954
>>25538999
>>25539013
Also one more thing bud, I didn't get a flat share I rented my own flat because rent in Portugal is cheap as fuck. If you have 7k saved up you could live there for a year in your own flat without working easy.

Had a bad ear infection a week now. Finished my antibiotics today and honestly it seems just as bad, if not worse than a week ago. My ear feels completely blocked off and it's still bleeding with gunk and shit coming out of it.

Back to docs?

>>25538384
yea i got some, but it's really old and gone kind of bad, still works
fucking burns when it goes in at first
>>25538421
i used to get them a fair bit but haven't for a while. dunno if i bit my lip or it's something else
salt sounds like it would burn tho

>>25539127
>>Back to docs?
Good boy for taking your medicine, mummy will have tendies for you when you get back from the docs.

>>25539187
I have a job and don't live with my mum.

Nice try though. Better luck next time.

>>25539192
Kek, you were pissy at me yesterday for telling you to take the meds now this, you're a salty one.

>>25539221
I think I was being sarcastic if it's the comment I'm thinking of.

>>25539231
Last time I try sympathetic/encouraging

I'm clearly shit at it ;_;

>>25538903
bin men are rich from the collection from what people throw away

>>25539127
Go back to docs ASAP before it becomes immune to anti biotics

>Chinese food and British ale and American punk pop music

I'm in NEET heaven lads

>>25539332
>just finished a 2 hour chest/triceps workout followed by a 30 minute sauna session
>eating sirloin steak and broccoli
>about to watch a film (not decided yet)

Sure does feel good to be NEET again

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PAKIS OUT TBQH


original commen

Does universal jobmatch change the dates on jobs posted? Cause I swear the last three days the same jobs have been posted in the last 24 hours

how the fuck is that allowed

>>25539489
But then who will prepare my kebabs?

>>25539502
Go for the teamaking apprentice

>Tfw I just want to be rich and live in a mansion in the woods and never have to interact with people again just have 2 cats and a dog and a goat

>>25539533
kek no. I applied for a job in Wilko on Sunday and since then they've posted the same job every day to cover up the fact there are no jobs where I live...

>>25539332
>>25539442
>pizza for breakfast
>playing runescape
>just finished watching a film
>about to go for a walk in the woods

NEETPRIDE

If you had 8,000 quid what would you do with it?

>>25539605
That sounds comfy are the woods near you nice?

I wish I could go for walks in the woods but I don't have any woods near me just grey concrete streets full of drunk angry chavs

>>25539623
I had 8000 quid so I went NEET and am now sat at home living the good life see>>25539332

>>25539508
the turks

>can hear the banging of my neighbours shagging
>walk into the other room which is next to their bedroom so i can hear better and possibly pick up her moans
>they stop
>probably heard me walk in

>have an upskirt fetish
>every time i look at the "Naughty" Products from Japan advert it makes me need to wank

The spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongy and bruised

>>25539627
They're not too bad. If you keep going it eventually leads to a nice farm with horses but I usually go to where there's a nice view.

>>25539664
That sounds really nice mate, I am imagining it now, have a nice time.

>tfw thinking about girl from back in secondary school you should have asked out but never did and now she is married and you are alone

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TVoFq7zc5po

>>25539728
didn't realise FoW had another song

>went to go make a sandwich
> fresh load of bread that I bought today
>go to take some out and notice a discoloration
>mold
only got ramen, or rice which i cbf cooking up.

>>25539623
either travel somewhere (japan, or europe like germany/netherlands) or buy a car (though would only be a 3k-ish one)

>>25539737
Me either until a few years ago when a grill got me into them. They're highly under rated thanks to Stacy's Mum being a meme song. Their best song is Mexican Wine

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S4blhM9IU3A