decent we have similar personalities (I think), so we get along well enough I think that he's holding on from dying to see me make something of myself, and I hope he does he doesn't really have anything else to show for his life, so I really want to give him something to be proud of before he goes
he's the only thing keeping me from either cutting every single person in my life out of it, or killing myself
>>25509808 Wanted to kill him when I was a kid and had a dream that he threw me into a handrail head first some nights ago.
He cares about me but I have never seen him as a father due to him being mostly absent when I was young and I have been living alone since I was 16 so eh. When we see each other it's like hanging out with a guy that's 40 years older than you and you have known him for a couple of decades but there is almost nothing in common with you two except that you both have the same surname.
he used to beat the shit outta me, closed fists and belt buckle.
i have one side of my skull slightly caved in from the random punches eh would throw at me.
never kicked me though, said only faggots kick.
years later he got all changed, and as he grew older he became so apologetic its now just pathetic.
in all honesty i have no anger inside me towards him, at all. i am, in a way, the result of those beatings, yes. but they don't define me. what defined me was my way of coping with them, either by rationalizing them, or just ignoring the situation.
his existence as merely circumstantial.
anyway, he's now an old men, and still lives with me. never said he's sorry, but i can tell it eats him inside. knowing that he now depends on me makes him humble, and it also makes him paranoid. i think he's waiting for me to take some kind of petty revenge, but i wont. i have no feelings towards him, not one way or the other.
i hate my mother though. i hate her with passion.
everyday after school i would come back home, and if i had some problem at school she would tell me. "you'll see when father comes home, you'll see." and this was at 2 pm maybe, so it took another 4 to 5 hours for my father to get home, and all afternoon she would threaten me with father. and when he came home the beatings would begin, and all the while she would have this worried look on her face with some regret mixed in... and i would think to myself, "you rotten whore. you knew this, and you let it happen. you could have lied. as much as you pretend this hurts you, you wanted this to happen."
>>25509808 Terrible. He was never there for any of my siblings nor me. He was always working but never working towards a goal. He merely drifted through life without regards to a long-term plan. My uncle tells me that he used to quiet us with a glare and I sort of remember that. The majority of my childhood consisted of learning everything by myself and by learning from their constant mistakes. I grew cold and bitter because of our situation (I saw people in our church take advantage of them because they were immigrants and country hicks). It's because of him and my mother that I became a good judge of character. But even so I can't hate him regardless of all of his faults as I feel if I do, then I'm no more then condemning myself. I learned of his past and his past is depressing. Being an orphan at a young age, having your adopted parents (his uncles) make you live in their dog house, being kicked out and forced to live in the streets, knocking up a girl and then having her cuck you. Regardless of whatever relationship we have, it stands true that he is my father and I am his son and so to that end I can't just abandon him.
was a very close friend to me, would always take a interest in everything i want into, whether it was fake or not, it felt incredibly genuine.
even though its been 5 years its hard to watch tv/movies/anime and even listen to music when i listen/watch something i know he'd like and something he want to talk about. like he was always into comics as a kid and really liked superheroes, he would have been so happy to take my brother and i to see all the superhero movies that are coming out.
He'd probably walk on fire if I told him I need him to do it. Not necessarily a good thing. He's really intelligent and having a person doing everything for you and better than you can be crippling, since you become useless. I like him but I'm generally a dick to him because I need to distance him from me. He still treats me like a child and I need to start acting like an adult.
>But I do see a lot of him in myself. In fact I consciously make an effort to be less like him whenever I catch myself being an angry try-hard beta. My worst nightmare is ending up like him. Exactly the same here, holy shit. My folks are still married but it isn't a healthy relationship.
Well I am from former USSR (Russia). He is ex army officer. Now works in railway security. He really hates everything, nostalgic about Soviet Union. Very shitty salary, he is very old also. He think I am failure and I am actually is.
lol felt bad after writing this... don't know why it's not like he will ever read this.
We do get along. I connect with him on a very deep-down-inside-level as we have known each other for ages and I turn to him for advice when dealing with real world grownup stuff.
He is not a bad guy but he has kind of fucked his own life up. I don't want to end up 50+ years old, 6 kids with 3 different women you don't really know and living alone in a small apartment with nothing really to show for.
>grandpa is a WW2 veteran who was forced to leave his home as a teen in 1939 when winter war started and soviet tried their invasion >was 18 in 1945 and soviets forced us to fight retreating wehrmacht, he was sent to war for a short time, allegedly got to see some shit he never talked about >he returned from war and worked as a carpenter, met my grandma and had 5 kids during late 50s and 60s >poor conditions but they were happy i guess and there was nothing he cared about more than his wife, what i know of this period is that my father and his 4 brothers were "moms kids" all the way and liked her more than grandpa >suddenly the wife(my grandma) dies in 1975 >ultimate poverty and trauma, grandpa has to feed all 5 kids and turns to communism after his entrepreneurship fails, he bans all humour and positive things and expressing positive feelings in the household exept maybe black cynic humour >he never gets over grandmas death and the things soak into his kids >he dies in 2013 and dad manages to drop like 2 tears or something at the funeral(i was surprised), and on the way back from there he makes jokes how awkward it was when many funeral attenders showed their feelings and cried aloud and said it resembled north koreans on kim jong ils funeral
so literally when i was small i got all that inherited from my dad being the model of a man for me and ended up spergy
My dad is dead (died when I was 4 or 5), and probably a good thing too, having had one mom to share among me and my two siblings gave me so much time to myself growing up. Ended up having no friends or social life for the majority of that time, which I'm actually pretty stoked about considering I hate normies.
It has its ups and downs. He has no social skills and has no idea what to say when I talk to him about my social problems. Other than that, he is very short tempered and stubborn (just like me), so we often have arguments. But he can always hold a good conversation when it comes to politics, science etc.
My dad is an a bit abusive but rarely gets physical, he treats me and mom like dirt but we never deserved anything better I guess.
>gets me a guitar >I get really good at it >he smashes it and tells me if he sees me playing again he'd kill me because it's a waste of time
>gets me a fishing rod >start to really enjoy fishing and spending time outside >he breaks it and tells me if he ever sees me fishing again he'd kill me because it's a waste of time
>buys me a pc >I start playing games and spending time on it >he throws it out of the window and tells me if he ever sees me playing games he'd kill me
>tells me I should join some club to get friends and stop being lonely >join the local chess club >he goes there and tells them to never let me in again, yells at me that chess is game for dead beats and losers and if he ever sees me playing chess ever again he'd kill me
I'm a 21 yo KHHV failure with no friends and I hate the smell, the sight and the sound of him. I hate being in the same street he is.
>>25510974 He just wanted me to be successful and not end up a loser so all the activities that were a waste of time that became a passion to me, in his mind turned from some harmless fun to something that would throw me of my "path of success".
I see his logic now but I don't know. Looks like I was meant to be a waste of air no matter what he did to protect me from it.
He's a bit of an actual autist, though. He's an engineer, always been great at what he does. I inhereted a lot of my own intelligence and problem solving ability from him. Unfortunately, I also inhereted my unsociableness and total resistance to asking for help in favour of figuring shit out myself from him.
He's basically my hero, and the one who I always feel worst about disappointing. I don't know if he is disappointed in me or not, but even the thought can really wreck me for a while.
>>25511370 Nah fuck that, daddy issues is 50% of what makes a fucker crazy. The other part is genetic predisposition, so in a way you could attribute 50% of that to the father too. So 75% of a crazy fucker's problems are caused by daddy issues.
>>25510134 Why do you hate your mother and leave your dad blameless like he's some force of nature? He was the one punching your head in. Don't get me wrong, neglect is bad too, but how is that connection between your father beating you, your mom doing nothing and your misogyny logically connected whatsoever?
Grateful to him for taking care of my lazy ass for years, but I can't stand being around him. He's a lot like me but it manifests in different ways. We're both basically NEETs right now with anger problems so we fight a lot about retarded shit.
Going to be 26 soon; I really gotta get out of my parents' house.
My dad and I used to be really great together, he was a kind and nice guy that would give you his last penny just to make you smile. He had a seizure last year and now he's pretty much a different person, he's mean, greedy and selfish. All we do is argue now. I miss him so much.
>>25512886 I guess just care too much. This world needs more compassion, maybe it can inspire it in other people. I got my compassion from my grandpa, the big guy reminded me of a really old Android 16.
If i physically attack my parents and then police gets called, what will realistically happen? I understand it will go on my record, and i'm okay with that. I have a lot of equipment in the house that is mine, so they can't just leave it there right? Don't have enough money for an apartment and i have nowhere else to go so where will my stuff go? Also by law, they're required to "maintain" me for at least 2 more years because i'm still studying. I'm 24.
Abusive prick Had a full plan going to stab him with a kitchen knife, was taken away with my Mother because child services preemptively guessed this Speak to him once a year now, usually ends in me calling him a wanker
Eh it ranges from good to bad. My mom died when i was really young in a car accident leave me with him. Depression crippled him and we ended up moving in with grandpa and grandma because he stopped working for 3 solid months and only drank. Even eventually bounced back onto his feet and got a job again but shit just got awkward as I got older. around 10 he started telling me all the time how much I looked like my mom and how beautiful I was all the time. then around 13 he just started calling me by my moms name and would just sometimes hug me for real long and quietly cry a little. around 17 he finally stopped all that and started hitting the dating scene again. But every blue moon he'll get piss drunk and call me by my moms name.
I don't hate him for it or anything. its honestly just kind of depressing and sad to see. I mean he lost someone really important to him.
Well, hes a good dude, smart, and fuckin hard working. Growing up thiugh, he wasnt emotionally invested, he was there, like a dad but not a friend much as to what some people have theur dads as- someone to play catch, talk to bout shit, or have witty banter.
He was ok and helped me financially which i still thank him for, but its kinda like whenever i try to know him, he says things like "dont worry." I wished to know more of his family, our heritage, and his life growing up, but he never says anything and its just like he never actually did anything growing up that was adventurous.
Hes extremely by the book. I went to tx for christmas where he lives, and had a lot of schoolwork and emails from my boss. I told him all bout it, and he says i shouldnt work so hard and i need to stop my anxiety. Pretty odd given hes the 50 yar old with physical problems while im spry still at 21.
Overall, i think its ok. My step dad however was a far better model for me to grow up as a man. He taught me my work skills and trades, taught me to shave, and says how hes done shit in the past and his glory days.
>>25509808 MY DAD IS DEAD AND THERE IS NOTHING I CAN DO ABOUT IT. HE HAD AN ENTIRE LIFE WITH HIS FIRST WIFE AND DAUGHTER AND SHE BLEW IT ALL AWAY BY CHEATING ON HIM. THEN HE MET MY MOM THROUGH A MAIL-IN DATING SERVICE AND LEFT HIS LIFE IN JOLLY OLD ENGLAND WHERE HIS FAMILY HAD LIVED FOR GENERATIONS AND MOVED TO AMERICA TO MARRY SOME SPINSTER AND FULFILL HIS DREAM OF STARTING A BUSINESS IN AMERICA. DID I MENTION THAT HE HAD CANCER AND MARRIED MY MOM LIKE A WEEK AFTER HE HAD MAJOR SURGERY TO REMOVE A TUMOR. OH AND THEN HE DIED A WEEK AFTER MY FIFTH BIRTHDAY THE DAY AFTER FATHER'S DAY.
WHAT KIND OF ASSHOLE GIVES BIRTH TO A KID WHEN HE KNOWS HE HAS TERMINAL CANCER? WHAT KIND OF MOM DECIDES TO HAVE A BABY AT 40 WHEN THE CHANCES OF THE BABY BEING BORN WITH DEFECTS IS AMAZINGLY HIGH? WHY AM I FUCKING ALIVE?
THE WORST PART IS HE DIDN'T EVEN LEAVE ME A NOTE. NOTHING. PEOPLE TELL ME THESE STORIES ABOUT HOW FUNNY HE WAS SO I GUESS HIS LAST JOKE WAS GIVING ME NOTHING OF HIS TO HOLD ONTO.
My parents divorced when I was 12 because my mom was cucking him. Since then he's been moving between jobs, smoking weed, getting DUI's, and fucking whores. I hang out with him sometimes and he just tells me about whores he's been fucking lately and gives me tips on how to fuck whores. He hates women since what my mom did to him. They are not people to him. They're just whores and he just fucks them. He told me about one whore that he fucked that had some kids running around the house, and a couple of them came into the room while he was fucking her, and he kept going. She was so horny she didn't stop, she kept getting fucked and just screaming and moaning, and the kids stood there and watched in horror as my father fucked their mother. When he was done, he got up and left without a word. That's the kind of guy my dad is. I think he's alright. We just play Xbox or whatever when we hang out. He's basically just some dude.
Happy enough. We share quite a few interests. Nothing too major, wouldn't say we go out of our way to spend time together. We're both pretty emotionally well-balanced and in control of how we conduct ourselves.
I'm in contact with him and at the least text him or email him once every two weeks to talk about stuff.
He said to my brother that his relationship with me is irreparably damaged. He lives like 1000 miles away and now his wife (my stepmom) is slowly dying from diabetes.
I don't know if there's something I should do. People can't relate with this feeling, but I don't exactly resent him (only sort of). I've really never known what it's like to have a dad. I've completely grown up without one and now he's a stranger. Apparently I'm supposed to want a dad bad enough that I seek him out and cultivate some great relationship with him. I don't want to.
I do wish I had had a male figure in my life, but that probably doesn't matter now.
>>25516344 Whatever, I'm 19 now, I've moved out, I'm working hard and carving out a life for myself. The only real downside is that I don't think I'll ever really be able to trust females. I asked my mom why she did what she did and she just told me this is what women do, they all do this, they all want to.
Dad left my mom right after having me to start a life in the US, grow up 6 years without a dad; mom finally musters up the courage and comes to the state; dad was super pissed because we ruined his bachelor tier lifestyle; he was just good with fucking whores and sending money to us every month...dad and mom constantly bicker, out of some kind sheer irony they decide to have another kid, >enter little brother >time passes, relationship gets sour as shit, they dont even sleep in the same room anymore >mom becomes increasingly paranoid >she suspects cheating >dad super distance, doesnt even want to be around his kids >finally my mom finds the woman who he's cheating with >dad says he's sick of shitty children mainly me (I never liked doing anything together as a family because it was one of those its a weekend lets do something-felt so forced and a pathetic) >they eventually break up; ugly ass divorce, fight over the house, dad is being a bitch and not transferring utilities to my moms name; a week goes by no power or water; finally my mothers brother strong arms him. >mom never goes after him for child support >before she even thinks about it he files for bankruptcy >leaves the united states >some how tricked my dumbass mother into signing something and took 75K of equity out of house >we almost foreclose; moms family members have to bare the burden until I can start working. >mother ends up resenting men ironically even though she has 2 boys... >dad reaches out occasionally; even after all the fucked up things he did to us; I would probably give him a chance >mother basically states "its either me or him" forced to obviously pick mother because we live with her and shit and cant really trust dad. last words I thing I said to my dad was "fuck off" circa 1999 I was 13.,
oh boy is my life in the dumps right now I am 29 years old and so fucking unstable.
>>25516498 anon my degenerate/whore comment wasn't to disrespect you; just stating that you got dealt really awful cards; I dont blame you for not trusting women, I really think they've gotten progressively worse over the course of the last few decades. we need to stop glorifying single mothers in society, and I am not talking about the women that were married for a long time and later in life got a divorce, I am talking about the ones that get knocked up and the guy lives them almost instantously after the birth and can't deal with her batshit whore-moans.
I love my dad, he is the best and has all the best qualities.
>smart >quiet and shy and relaxed >loves the outdoors >loves hunting and fishing and camping >loves handiwork, loves building/reno >faithful to my mum for over 30 years >not judgmental >has never put his hands on a woman before >trustworthy, i can tell him anything and he won't relay it to my mum >nice to have conversations with, especially when drinking >super funny >honest as shit >nice, good guy, everyone likes him, everyone wants to spend time with him even though he's naturally an introvert
We don't talk much. He used to get out hunting, fix trucks, do carpentry, and play softball, but these days he spends all his time browsing the internet on his phone.
To some degree I think he's jealous of me because I got the sort of outdoor science job he always wanted when he was younger, but instead of using his college degree he started working in a construction company's office because his own dad pressured him to "get a real job".
About the closest thing we ever have to a real conversation is making snarky commentary when we watch sports together.
Love my dad, every couple of weeks or so he and I will go out to catch a baseball game, get some lunch, and talk about our lives. Always gives great advice when I need it and is a great husband to my mother. Hopefully one day i'll be just like him.
My biological dad is dead. But I've accepted my step dad as my only dad because I never met my biological dad.
It's alright. We talk about beer, alcohol and other things. He probably has a better relationship with my brother because they're both in the Air force. But he enjoys drinking with me more. But I never really think about him. He's a nice guy I guess, but never knew how to be patient with us as kids
I've a great relationship with my dad he's a damn good father. I always looked up to him when I was young as a strong and tough dude. I surpassed him in strength about a year ago. It was a weird experience because I was happy to be stronger than him but I was sad because I know that I will never be able to look up to him again. Does anyone know this feel? Regardless he has fulfilled his role as afather in my eyes by ensuring that I grew up to become a better version of him in certain respects, although he is far more honourable than me as he's been loyal to my mother for over 25 years and has been with no other woman.
I love em and he loves me, he's a great father who just wants the best for me and my sisters. Really if i had one complaint its that whenever we get into a serious talk he would go on and on about how he did this and that when he was younger and how great he was in school and what not
>>25509808 I try my hardest to view him as just another person and keep contact down to a minimum. I haven't seen him in a few years and I've spoken with him a small handful of times in the past 7 years. In reality talking about my feelings toward him out loud easily brings me to tears, unfortunately.
He is dying of AIDS though so I shouldn't have to deal much longer.
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