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how's your relationship with your dad?
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You are currently reading a thread in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001

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how's your relationship with your dad?
Literally who?

Horrible. He's leaving the house today because my mom is tired of his attitude towards her and me.
Always working cause we're poor immigrants so wasn't a strong male role model but always still loved me and I think that counts the most
we have similar personalities (I think), so we get along well enough
I think that he's holding on from dying to see me make something of myself, and I hope he does
he doesn't really have anything else to show for his life, so I really want to give him something to be proud of before he goes

he's the only thing keeping me from either cutting every single person in my life out of it, or killing myself
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Wanted to kill him when I was a kid and had a dream that he threw me into a handrail head first some nights ago.

He cares about me but I have never seen him as a father due to him being mostly absent when I was young and I have been living alone since I was 16 so eh. When we see each other it's like hanging out with a guy that's 40 years older than you and you have known him for a couple of decades but there is almost nothing in common with you two except that you both have the same surname.
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>tfw you were a only child raised by a single mother
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>catch dad using name to get credit cards
>confront him
>he gets angry and defensive, throws a punch
>beat the shit out of him
>he starts crying

always lift weights, kids
Really good.

Why wouldn't it be?
My dad is basically a guy I talk to about WWII and politics.

It's not too bad I guess.
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he used to beat the shit outta me, closed fists and belt buckle.

i have one side of my skull slightly caved in from the random punches eh would throw at me.

never kicked me though, said only faggots kick.

years later he got all changed, and as he grew older he became so apologetic its now just pathetic.

in all honesty i have no anger inside me towards him, at all. i am, in a way, the result of those beatings, yes. but they don't define me. what defined me was my way of coping with them, either by rationalizing them, or just ignoring the situation.

his existence as merely circumstantial.

anyway, he's now an old men, and still lives with me. never said he's sorry, but i can tell it eats him inside. knowing that he now depends on me makes him humble, and it also makes him paranoid. i think he's waiting for me to take some kind of petty revenge, but i wont. i have no feelings towards him, not one way or the other.

i hate my mother though. i hate her with passion.

everyday after school i would come back home, and if i had some problem at school she would tell me. "you'll see when father comes home, you'll see." and this was at 2 pm maybe, so it took another 4 to 5 hours for my father to get home, and all afternoon she would threaten me with father. and when he came home the beatings would begin, and all the while she would have this worried look on her face with some regret mixed in... and i would think to myself, "you rotten whore. you knew this, and you let it happen. you could have lied. as much as you pretend this hurts you, you wanted this to happen."

i hate women ever since. can't help it.
sorry you had a rough childhood anon.
will you be taking any sort of revenge against your mother?
she's been dead for a while, cancer got her.
I love my dad but I hope the Cavaliers lose the NBA finals to the Warriors of all teams so I can call him up and laugh at him for bandwagoning Lebron James
Dad is dead. He is fucking dead.
He's dead. Died when I was 17 to leukemia. Never had a strong relationship with him since I was raised by a single mom.
a literal cuck
Terrible. He was never there for any of my siblings nor me. He was always working but never working towards a goal. He merely drifted through life without regards to a long-term plan. My uncle tells me that he used to quiet us with a glare and I sort of remember that. The majority of my childhood consisted of learning everything by myself and by learning from their constant mistakes. I grew cold and bitter because of our situation (I saw people in our church take advantage of them because they were immigrants and country hicks). It's because of him and my mother that I became a good judge of character.
But even so I can't hate him regardless of all of his faults as I feel if I do, then I'm no more then condemning myself. I learned of his past and his past is depressing. Being an orphan at a young age, having your adopted parents (his uncles) make you live in their dog house, being kicked out and forced to live in the streets, knocking up a girl and then having her cuck you.
Regardless of whatever relationship we have, it stands true that he is my father and I am his son and so to that end I can't just abandon him.
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died when i was 16.

was a very close friend to me, would always take a interest in everything i want into, whether it was fake or not, it felt incredibly genuine.

even though its been 5 years its hard to watch tv/movies/anime and even listen to music when i listen/watch something i know he'd like and something he want to talk about. like he was always into comics as a kid and really liked superheroes, he would have been so happy to take my brother and i to see all the superhero movies that are coming out.

tfw miss him a lot
You're a good son anon.
I hope I never lose my dad man. I can't even imagine that pain. :-(

lol similiar case here

Dad bailed on mom and became every-other-weekend-or-so-dad when I was 6.

It's like hanging out with a guy who is 40 years older now. Never got a father-vibe as he never made an effort to bond being an /r9k/-tier introvert himself.

But I do see a lot of him in myself. In fact I consciously make an effort to be less like him whenever I catch myself being an angry try-hard beta. My worst nightmare is ending up like him.
He'd probably walk on fire if I told him I need him to do it.
Not necessarily a good thing. He's really intelligent and having a person doing everything for you and better than you can be crippling, since you become useless. I like him but I'm generally a dick to him because I need to distance him from me. He still treats me like a child and I need to start acting like an adult.
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I'm >>25509906

>But I do see a lot of him in myself. In fact I consciously make an effort to be less like him whenever I catch myself being an angry try-hard beta. My worst nightmare is ending up like him.
Exactly the same here, holy shit. My folks are still married but it isn't a healthy relationship.
Well I am from former USSR (Russia). He is ex army officer. Now works in railway security. He really hates everything, nostalgic about Soviet Union. Very shitty salary, he is very old also. He think I am failure and I am actually is.

lol felt bad after writing this... don't know why it's not like he will ever read this.

We do get along. I connect with him on a very deep-down-inside-level as we have known each other for ages and I turn to him for advice when dealing with real world grownup stuff.

He is not a bad guy but he has kind of fucked his own life up. I don't want to end up 50+ years old, 6 kids with 3 different women you don't really know and living alone in a small apartment with nothing really to show for.
Really fucking awkward, I feel like he's sort of ashamed of me.

He has also said some shit to me when I was younger. I'm a forgiving person, but the damage is already done
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finnish robot here

>grandpa is a WW2 veteran who was forced to leave his home as a teen in 1939 when winter war started and soviet tried their invasion
>was 18 in 1945 and soviets forced us to fight retreating wehrmacht, he was sent to war for a short time, allegedly got to see some shit he never talked about
>he returned from war and worked as a carpenter, met my grandma and had 5 kids during late 50s and 60s
>poor conditions but they were happy i guess and there was nothing he cared about more than his wife, what i know of this period is that my father and his 4 brothers were "moms kids" all the way and liked her more than grandpa
>suddenly the wife(my grandma) dies in 1975
>ultimate poverty and trauma, grandpa has to feed all 5 kids and turns to communism after his entrepreneurship fails, he bans all humour and positive things and expressing positive feelings in the household exept maybe black cynic humour
>he never gets over grandmas death and the things soak into his kids
>he dies in 2013 and dad manages to drop like 2 tears or something at the funeral(i was surprised), and on the way back from there he makes jokes how awkward it was when many funeral attenders showed their feelings and cried aloud and said it resembled north koreans on kim jong ils funeral

so literally when i was small i got all that inherited from my dad being the model of a man for me and ended up spergy
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Thanks anon. I never thought of myself as a good son. I come off as abrasive at times when I get frustrated with him but it seems he always has patience for my siblings or my shit.
Never knew him.
He died long ago.
I don't care that much now.
My dad died when i was 2, so i don't remember him at all.

But looking at the pictures i have of him he seemed like a cool guy. It sucks that i never got to know him
Fuck you Cavs got this.
Used to fight my mum, like choke her and shit when I was like 7.

Do I hate him? Probably not. We all make mistakes I guess I can't be bitter about it.

He's got a bit of a soft spot for me now, maybe because he realised it affected me what he used to do. Maybe because when I was like 11 I called him out on it and told him I hated him.

He used to come to my house every weekend, every 6 months have an arguement with my mum.

Then make us meet him at the library or some shite house coffee shop every week.

Never see him anymore I have a job and I'm busy on the weekends, I'd like to say I'd be sad when he dies but I'd be lying.

I have no emotion towards him.
Sure, buddy.
Great job hiding the murder.
My dad is dead (died when I was 4 or 5), and probably a good thing too, having had one mom to share among me and my two siblings gave me so much time to myself growing up. Ended up having no friends or social life for the majority of that time, which I'm actually pretty stoked about considering I hate normies.
Strained, because I'm a talentless 22yo NEET without any kind of useful skills.

But says he loves me neverthelss and will keep supporting me with some money, even though I'm an ungrateful faggot.
never knew him.
left my mom and us when i was 2 years old.
didn't try to contact me until i was in high school and that didn't work out.

pretty sure not having a strong male role model during adolescence fucked me pretty bad. i was the only male in my house hold and have no idea how to interact with a woman as a man should.
>pretty sure not having a strong male role model during adolescence fucked me pretty bad. i was the only male in my house hold and have no idea how to interact with a woman as a man should

Goddamn this.
Good he's annoying sometimes and he repeats himself way too much but nothing serious
Shit, he never talked to me about women or how to be a man he only bashed me for being a shame

I hate you dad fuck you I hope all your grandsons/daughters pop out as brainless Sissy retards
It has its ups and downs. He has no social skills and has no idea what to say when I talk to him about my social problems. Other than that, he is very short tempered and stubborn (just like me), so we often have arguments. But he can always hold a good conversation when it comes to politics, science etc.
mine killed himself when i was a kid and i'm looking at following in his footsteps
Holy shit it amazes me how the absence of a father figure during development causes massive betaness in men
Not really. There is an apparent influence, but then there are numerous examples of fatherless boys who grew up into nice, well-adjusted guys.
My dad is an a bit abusive but rarely gets physical, he treats me and mom like dirt but we never deserved anything better I guess.

>gets me a guitar
>I get really good at it
>he smashes it and tells me if he sees me playing again he'd kill me because it's a waste of time

>gets me a fishing rod
>start to really enjoy fishing and spending time outside
>he breaks it and tells me if he ever sees me fishing again he'd kill me because it's a waste of time

>buys me a pc
>I start playing games and spending time on it
>he throws it out of the window and tells me if he ever sees me playing games he'd kill me

>tells me I should join some club to get friends and stop being lonely
>join the local chess club
>he goes there and tells them to never let me in again, yells at me that chess is game for dead beats and losers and if he ever sees me playing chess ever again he'd kill me

I'm a 21 yo KHHV failure with no friends and I hate the smell, the sight and the sound of him. I hate being in the same street he is.
The fuck? All of that is completely illogical, except you being a failure and all. Did he suffer brain damage at some point of his life?
We're pretty distant.
He just wanted me to be successful and not end up a loser so all the activities that were a waste of time that became a passion to me, in his mind turned from some harmless fun to something that would throw me of my "path of success".

I see his logic now but I don't know. Looks like I was meant to be a waste of air no matter what he did to protect me from it.
We're alright.

He's a bit of an actual autist, though. He's an engineer, always been great at what he does. I inhereted a lot of my own intelligence and problem solving ability from him. Unfortunately, I also inhereted my unsociableness and total resistance to asking for help in favour of figuring shit out myself from him.

He's basically my hero, and the one who I always feel worst about disappointing. I don't know if he is disappointed in me or not, but even the thought can really wreck me for a while.
Don't distance your dad, anon. Just be that adult and everything will fall into place. You're going to miss him dearly one day and regret it all.
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This is only part of the reason. A single thing is rarely the cause of everything in life.
Nah fuck that, daddy issues is 50% of what makes a fucker crazy. The other part is genetic predisposition, so in a way you could attribute 50% of that to the father too. So 75% of a crazy fucker's problems are caused by daddy issues.
pretty cold.

cus hes ded, lol get it?
>implying my dad didn't ditch my mom ass soon as she got pregnant with me
I'm a destined beta
Why do you hate your mother and leave your dad blameless like he's some force of nature? He was the one punching your head in. Don't get me wrong, neglect is bad too, but how is that connection between your father beating you, your mom doing nothing and your misogyny logically connected whatsoever?
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Grateful to him for taking care of my lazy ass for years, but I can't stand being around him. He's a lot like me but it manifests in different ways. We're both basically NEETs right now with anger problems so we fight a lot about retarded shit.

Going to be 26 soon; I really gotta get out of my parents' house.
Helped me pay for my uni I'm going to and is proud of me for getting in.

He's an electrician, really knows his stuff when it comes to it. Can literally fix anything.

Found out he smokes weed the other week too. Told him I do it every now and then and he's chill with it, we're going to chillax over a spliff soon. Good times.
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don't forget lads
Your dad is a little bitch huh?
Raised by a single mom, senpai.

Why do you think I'm so screwed up?
Why don't you ditch your dad? He sounds like dead weight and he may as well live in the trash
My dad and I used to be really great together, he was a kind and nice guy that would give you his last penny just to make you smile. He had a seizure last year and now he's pretty much a different person, he's mean, greedy and selfish. All we do is argue now. I miss him so much.
I think he's given up on me. I think my whole family has given up on me. It's like I don't exist anymore. They never talk to me outside of the generic "hi", so they may as well be strangers.

It's cold, but I've come to accept it. They try to connect to me sometimes and say they love me, but I don't believe them.

It scares me to think that I might not care if any of them died.
>It scares me to think that I might not care if any of them died.
Why should that scare you? by the sounds of it they wouldn't care if you died. Fuck them anon, you're better than them.
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I guess just care too much. This world needs more compassion, maybe it can inspire it in other people. I got my compassion from my grandpa, the big guy reminded me of a really old Android 16.
Serious question here.

If i physically attack my parents and then police gets called, what will realistically happen?
I understand it will go on my record, and i'm okay with that.
I have a lot of equipment in the house that is mine, so they can't just leave it there right?
Don't have enough money for an apartment and i have nowhere else to go so where will my stuff go?
Also by law, they're required to "maintain" me for at least 2 more years because i'm still studying.
I'm 24.
In some ways my dad treats me like you'd usually treat your daughter. It's weird, I guess he would've preferred a girl.
Shut up

Holy fuck that is my dad to a tee
Abusive prick
Had a full plan going to stab him with a kitchen knife, was taken away with my Mother because child services preemptively guessed this
Speak to him once a year now, usually ends in me calling him a wanker
Eh it ranges from good to bad. My mom died when i was really young in a car accident leave me with him. Depression crippled him and we ended up moving in with grandpa and grandma because he stopped working for 3 solid months and only drank. Even eventually bounced back onto his feet and got a job again but shit just got awkward as I got older. around 10 he started telling me all the time how much I looked like my mom and how beautiful I was all the time. then around 13 he just started calling me by my moms name and would just sometimes hug me for real long and quietly cry a little. around 17 he finally stopped all that and started hitting the dating scene again. But every blue moon he'll get piss drunk and call me by my moms name.

I don't hate him for it or anything. its honestly just kind of depressing and sad to see. I mean he lost someone really important to him.
>But every blue moon he'll get piss drunk and call me by my moms name.
Be flirty towards him and act oblivious about it if he ever asks you, but don't go farther than that.
fug, family, too close to home to be honest.
Dad is a programmer, I'm a mathematician. We like to talk to each other about work and what we've taught ourselves. Sometimes we lend eacch other books on computers or science because its interesting.

Used to have drama with him because I really wanted to go to college but we couldn't afford it. I got lucky with scholarships and now all drama is gone.

Also I'm oldest son so he treats me with much more respect than my brothers. I think it's pretty funny
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Literally odd.

Well, hes a good dude, smart, and fuckin hard working. Growing up thiugh, he wasnt emotionally invested, he was there, like a dad but not a friend much as to what some people have theur dads as- someone to play catch, talk to bout shit, or have witty banter.

He was ok and helped me financially which i still thank him for, but its kinda like whenever i try to know him, he says things like "dont worry." I wished to know more of his family, our heritage, and his life growing up, but he never says anything and its just like he never actually did anything growing up that was adventurous.

Hes extremely by the book. I went to tx for christmas where he lives, and had a lot of schoolwork and emails from my boss. I told him all bout it, and he says i shouldnt work so hard and i need to stop my anxiety. Pretty odd given hes the 50 yar old with physical problems while im spry still at 21.

Overall, i think its ok. My step dad however was a far better model for me to grow up as a man. He taught me my work skills and trades, taught me to shave, and says how hes done shit in the past and his glory days.



Fuckin lold. Ur pops probably had some mad bantz there lad
Geez, like 90%, of you guys seriously need therapy. No wonder this board is so fucked

Me and dad are putting a V6 into the miata today. Feels good man.
My parents divorced when I was 12 because my mom was cucking him. Since then he's been moving between jobs, smoking weed, getting DUI's, and fucking whores. I hang out with him sometimes and he just tells me about whores he's been fucking lately and gives me tips on how to fuck whores. He hates women since what my mom did to him. They are not people to him. They're just whores and he just fucks them. He told me about one whore that he fucked that had some kids running around the house, and a couple of them came into the room while he was fucking her, and he kept going. She was so horny she didn't stop, she kept getting fucked and just screaming and moaning, and the kids stood there and watched in horror as my father fucked their mother. When he was done, he got up and left without a word. That's the kind of guy my dad is. I think he's alright. We just play Xbox or whatever when we hang out. He's basically just some dude.
Happy enough. We share quite a few interests. Nothing too major, wouldn't say we go out of our way to spend time together. We're both pretty emotionally well-balanced and in control of how we conduct ourselves.

I'm in contact with him and at the least text him or email him once every two weeks to talk about stuff.
It's terrible.

He said to my brother that his relationship with me is irreparably damaged. He lives like 1000 miles away and now his wife (my stepmom) is slowly dying from diabetes.

I don't know if there's something I should do. People can't relate with this feeling, but I don't exactly resent him (only sort of). I've really never known what it's like to have a dad. I've completely grown up without one and now he's a stranger. Apparently I'm supposed to want a dad bad enough that I seek him out and cultivate some great relationship with him. I don't want to.

I do wish I had had a male figure in my life, but that probably doesn't matter now.
your dad sounds like a degenerate, your mom sounds like a stupid whore, sorry you didn't win the parent lottery anon.
Whatever, I'm 19 now, I've moved out, I'm working hard and carving out a life for myself. The only real downside is that I don't think I'll ever really be able to trust females. I asked my mom why she did what she did and she just told me this is what women do, they all do this, they all want to.
just fuck my shit up, senpai

>be fucking immigrant in US

Dad left my mom right after having me to start a life in the US, grow up 6 years without a dad; mom finally musters up the courage and comes to the state; dad was super pissed because we ruined his bachelor tier lifestyle; he was just good with fucking whores and sending money to us every month...dad and mom constantly bicker, out of some kind sheer irony they decide to have another kid,
>enter little brother
>time passes, relationship gets sour as shit, they dont even sleep in the same room anymore
>mom becomes increasingly paranoid
>she suspects cheating
>dad super distance, doesnt even want to be around his kids
>finally my mom finds the woman who he's cheating with
>dad says he's sick of shitty children mainly me (I never liked doing anything together as a family because it was one of those its a weekend lets do something-felt so forced and a pathetic)
>they eventually break up; ugly ass divorce, fight over the house, dad is being a bitch and not transferring utilities to my moms name; a week goes by no power or water; finally my mothers brother strong arms him.
>mom never goes after him for child support
>before she even thinks about it he files for bankruptcy
>leaves the united states
>some how tricked my dumbass mother into signing something and took 75K of equity out of house
>we almost foreclose; moms family members have to bare the burden until I can start working.
>mother ends up resenting men ironically even though she has 2 boys...
>dad reaches out occasionally; even after all the fucked up things he did to us; I would probably give him a chance
>mother basically states "its either me or him"
forced to obviously pick mother because we live with her and shit and cant really trust dad.
last words I thing I said to my dad was "fuck off" circa 1999 I was 13.,

oh boy is my life in the dumps right now I am 29 years old and so fucking unstable.
So you're going to take one person's word on the pretences that everyone else that fits this sex is exactly the same?

Wew lad.
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Could be better, could be worse
I'm meant to be meeting him for a drink on thursday actually, so there's that for quality time.
It's alright. We have stilted conversation and sometimes do things together.

We aren't best friends are anything but we're acquaintances.

Wishes I was dead
anon my degenerate/whore comment wasn't to disrespect you; just stating that you got dealt really awful cards; I dont blame you for not trusting women, I really think they've gotten progressively worse over the course of the last few decades. we need to stop glorifying single mothers in society, and I am not talking about the women that were married for a long time and later in life got a divorce, I am talking about the ones that get knocked up and the guy lives them almost instantously after the birth and can't deal with her batshit whore-moans.
My father is a weak beta and his presence in my life was superfluous.

He may have been there, but he couldn't teach me to be a man, so he has failed. I had to learn my life lessons by myself the hard way.
I love my dad, he is the best and has all the best qualities.

>quiet and shy and relaxed
>loves the outdoors
>loves hunting and fishing and camping
>loves handiwork, loves building/reno
>faithful to my mum for over 30 years
>not judgmental
>has never put his hands on a woman before
>trustworthy, i can tell him anything and he won't relay it to my mum
>nice to have conversations with, especially when drinking
>super funny
>honest as shit
>nice, good guy, everyone likes him, everyone wants to spend time with him even though he's naturally an introvert

My mom on the other hand...
Anybody? I want to know.
It exists.

We don't talk much. He used to get out hunting, fix trucks, do carpentry, and play softball, but these days he spends all his time browsing the internet on his phone.

To some degree I think he's jealous of me because I got the sort of outdoor science job he always wanted when he was younger, but instead of using his college degree he started working in a construction company's office because his own dad pressured him to "get a real job".

About the closest thing we ever have to a real conversation is making snarky commentary when we watch sports together.
My dad is a fucking pleb who can't adjust to no longer being Chad, and argues with my mom constantly.

I hated him for a long time, because he constantly cheated on my mom and shit when I was younger, and divorced her and shit, but when he got cucked by his second wife, he came crying back to my mom.

I really just feel sorry for him because he's too incompetent to succeed in any way in this world and has only started to realize that it isn't the 80s anymore.
Love my dad, every couple of weeks or so he and I will go out to catch a baseball game, get some lunch, and talk about our lives.
Always gives great advice when I need it and is a great husband to my mother.
Hopefully one day i'll be just like him.
My biological dad is dead. But I've accepted my step dad as my only dad because I never met my biological dad.

It's alright. We talk about beer, alcohol and other things. He probably has a better relationship with my brother because they're both in the Air force. But he enjoys drinking with me more. But I never really think about him. He's a nice guy I guess, but never knew how to be patient with us as kids
I don't talk to him more than I have to, which is very rarely. We usually communicate through mum.
wow after reading this thread i feel a lot better about myself. Thanks robots
Emotionally distant but sometimes shows affection through action; I know he cares. He can also be a bit self-serving.

I aim to be more involved and selfless
Normal for my age, if not a little strained.

He is emotionally distant/awkward, likes to play the victim like a baby, and is a general hard-ass.

He's still my dad, though. I just wish he'd relax more.
I just don't want to be the man he is when I'm older. However, I see how similar I am to him with everyday, and that makes me a little upset.
I've a great relationship with my dad he's a damn good father. I always looked up to him when I was young as a strong and tough dude. I surpassed him in strength about a year ago. It was a weird experience because I was happy to be stronger than him but I was sad because I know that I will never be able to look up to him again. Does anyone know this feel? Regardless he has fulfilled his role as afather in my eyes by ensuring that I grew up to become a better version of him in certain respects, although he is far more honourable than me as he's been loyal to my mother for over 25 years and has been with no other woman.
correct /r9k/ is full of gay traps who want a real daddy

nice damage control
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I love em and he loves me, he's a great father who just wants the best for me and my sisters. Really if i had one complaint its that whenever we get into a serious talk he would go on and on about how he did this and that when he was younger and how great he was in school and what not
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>Raised by single mother
At least I didn't turn out beta box provider. I might have been a failure but at least I'm not a pansy little bitch.
I try my hardest to view him as just another person and keep contact down to a minimum. I haven't seen him in a few years and I've spoken with him a small handful of times in the past 7 years. In reality talking about my feelings toward him out loud easily brings me to tears, unfortunately.

He is dying of AIDS though so I shouldn't have to deal much longer.
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