>feeling somewhat ok the last while, even worked and made some money today despite turning into a fat neet over the last 5 years >just before bed i start going on a nostalgia trip looking through old photos >come across 5 year old conversation i forgot about with a girl i was incredibly close with who i truly loved and loved me >mid covo she just says "i feel like i dont know you anymore" >that was about the same time i started experiencing crippling depression and my life completely fell apart randomly awhile i was in the middle of the happiest time of my life >jesus christ how horrifying >reading how i just brushed it off, and did the same every time she tried to salvage our relationship or make blatant romantic advances while drunk >that relationship and every relationship with everyone i cared about and who cared about me has pretty much fallen apart since that conversation >feel harder then ive ever felt before >hellodarknessmyoldfriend.mp3 >depression hitting harder then ever, suicidal thoughts are back, its 3am now, guess im not going to work and fixing my life tomorrow, no liquor store open either, not getting any buzz from cigarettes, cant run away from this feel tonight i cant live like this anymore bros, do i really have to kill myself? i cant handle this feel
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