>cashier tells me to have a good day
>pour tap water into the bottom of the Brita filter
>everyone drinks disgusting tap water without even knowing it
Who /madman/ here
>Anon tells me to suck a dick
>nobody agrees with me
>rather than realizing I'm wrong, samefag a Subway food analogy at myself
>now everyone agrees with me
>walking dog other day
>sign in yard
>wooden tombstone reading 'here lies the last dog who pooped in my yard'
>kick the shit over
>2 cars in drive at the time, may have seen me do it
>tell customer to have a good day
>I really want him to have a bad day
>buy a remote controlled landmine that explodes little plastic pellets at 400 fps
>plant it at local park where niggers like to hang out
>wait till around 2am when they're wondering back to their caves after a long day of peaceful protesting
>pack of niggers walks near it
>dindus at maximum peaceful protest mode
>Cafe closes in 30 minutes.
>Wait until 1 minute before closing to order.
>get mad at my sister
>she tells me to build a bridge
>i actually work in infrastructure construction and am currently doing work on a bridge
Only mentioned this once before on here, but about a week ago I bought a bottles juice tea drink at safeway. The Asian male cashier asked "How's it going, I choked on my words and muttered 'heh' while starting at the wall. After handing my receipt I could clearly hear him say "Happy new year, asshole." But it was so soft that he could just deny it if I asked or complained to management.
Fuck you wagecuck, there's another safeway nearby that has self-checkouts and you need to be replaced by robots that don't judge people, make smart ass comments or get butthurt.
>tfw know you could easily get away with stealing things at self checkouts but have always been afraid to because there could be a guard looking at you from any direction or on camera.
I got family /mischief/.
>Uncle doesn't like it when I touch his face
>Touch it out of the blue whenever I want anyway
>He always gets mad and bitches about it
>Tells me to wash my peanut butter spoon instead of just putting it in the sink in a cup of water to soak
>Soak it anyway
>Asks me to do the dishes
>Mom calls and asks what i'm doing
>Tell her i'm watching a television series
>I was actually watching anime
>she thinks i'm masturbating to her pictures and want to date her
>i'm just lonely, hate myself, and want to fabricate a concrete reason to better myself
this kills the man
>splash water all over bathroom faucet and on the roll of paper towels
>Go to many stores on X-mas day
>"Oh man it really sucks that you have to work today!"
>purposely clog up toilet at work with 100s of paper seat covers
>drop devilish load and flush
>a faggot tells me that I don't understand customer service
>pause for a whole minute
>he tells my manager that I was rude
>my manager pulls me aside
>manager tells me that the guy was full of shit
>gives me a high five
:^) thanks b0ss
>go to public bathroom
>wait till the coast is clear
>piss on every roll of toilet paper.
>think about all the people desperately grabbing for TP and getting a handful of my piss soaked treat.
If I were only brave enough to actually do it
>ancestors fought for survival for thousands of years
>grandparents fought in war and worked hard to raise their children right
>parents spent thousands of dollars to feed, cloth and keep me entertained
>years and years of hard work and spending to continue the bloodline
>only child and lifelong virgin
>cucking my entire bloodlines work to never have kids and spend my days on a Malaysian jump roping board
This is a double whammy because I remember reading a study that said that women who get rejected a lot tend to reject others more harshly. You might be creating robots as a side product, anon.
>home alone and phone rings
>don't answer it
>waiter at an Olive Garden
>customer is seated, I'm taking drink orders
>"can I have a Pepsi?"
>sorry, we don't have Pepsi. I can get you a Coke though!
>"alright, that'll do, I guess"
>we actually do have Pepsi
>bring them a cup of Dr Pepper with no ice
>waitress asks if everything is alright and if i like my food
>i say yes
>actually it was fucking disgusting
>Sit on train
>See the straps from somebodies backpack underneath seat in front of me
>Slowly edge it towards me
>push it underneath my seat
>guy has to get off
>freaking out about where his beloved backpack is
D E V I L I S H
>be a depressed, misanthropic, friendless NEET who spends all his time shitposting on a polynesian basket weaving domain
>go to psychologist
>he asks me personal questions
>lie and pretend to be a normie
>Sit on a train
>Guy in front of me is asleep
>His phone falls underneath his seat
>He gets off the train at his stop
>Didn't tell him that his phone is still under the seat
>having dinner in the living room
>mommy tells me that I don't have to get up, she'll come get the plateand do the dishes
>get up, take my plate to the kitchen, and do the dishes too like a bad boy