[Boards: 3 / a / aco / adv / an / asp / b / biz / c / cgl / ck / cm / co / d / diy / e / fa / fit / g / gd / gif / h / hc / his / hm / hr / i / ic / int / jp / k / lgbt / lit / m / mlp / mu / n / news / o / out / p / po / pol / qa / qst / r / r9k / s / s4s / sci / soc / sp / t / tg / toy / trash / trv / tv / u / v / vg / vp / vr / w / wg / wsg / wsr / x / y ] [Search | Home]
4Archive logo
/mischief/ thread
Images are sometimes not shown due to bandwidth/network limitations. Refreshing the page usually helps.

You are currently reading a thread in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001

Thread replies: 48
Thread images: 26
File: 1426493417200.jpg (58 KB, 528x498) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
58 KB, 528x498
/mischief/ thread

>cashier tells me to have a good day
>I don't
File: brita.jpg (212 KB, 1280x720) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
212 KB, 1280x720
>pour tap water into the bottom of the Brita filter
>everyone drinks disgusting tap water without even knowing it
File: 1451771894524.jpg (98 KB, 409x409) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
98 KB, 409x409
Who /madman/ here

>Anon tells me to suck a dick
>i dont
>nobody agrees with me
>rather than realizing I'm wrong, samefag a Subway food analogy at myself
>now everyone agrees with me
File: 1444754356396.jpg (19 KB, 600x375) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
19 KB, 600x375
>walking dog other day
>sign in yard
>wooden tombstone reading 'here lies the last dog who pooped in my yard'
>kick the shit over
>2 cars in drive at the time, may have seen me do it
You should take a shit in their yard
File: image.gif (567 KB, 300x456) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
567 KB, 300x456
>tell customer to have a good day
>I really want him to have a bad day
File: 1436150081129.png (75 KB, 200x321) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
75 KB, 200x321
>buy a remote controlled landmine that explodes little plastic pellets at 400 fps
>plant it at local park where niggers like to hang out
>wait till around 2am when they're wondering back to their caves after a long day of peaceful protesting
>pack of niggers walks near it
>dindus at maximum peaceful protest mode
>be me
>teleport behind person
>pull out katana
File: nn.png (185 KB, 499x499) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
185 KB, 499x499
>Cafe closes in 30 minutes.
>Wait until 1 minute before closing to order.
File: 1450654464935.jpg (66 KB, 681x460) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
66 KB, 681x460
Oh also my pic.
File: 1451907839240.jpg (102 KB, 1200x796) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
102 KB, 1200x796
>get mad at my sister
>she tells me to build a bridge
>i actually work in infrastructure construction and am currently doing work on a bridge
Don't suck a dick
>Asian masseuse giggles at my small cock
>don't tell her when I'm gonna cum so jizz her in hair
>Its a push door
Only mentioned this once before on here, but about a week ago I bought a bottles juice tea drink at safeway. The Asian male cashier asked "How's it going, I choked on my words and muttered 'heh' while starting at the wall. After handing my receipt I could clearly hear him say "Happy new year, asshole." But it was so soft that he could just deny it if I asked or complained to management.

Fuck you wagecuck, there's another safeway nearby that has self-checkouts and you need to be replaced by robots that don't judge people, make smart ass comments or get butthurt.

>tfw know you could easily get away with stealing things at self checkouts but have always been afraid to because there could be a guard looking at you from any direction or on camera.
File: 1451767433050.jpg (53 KB, 384x384) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
53 KB, 384x384
Jokes on you, i just sucked my own dick
butt thats impossible!
File: 66343113.gif (2 MB, 425x481) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
2 MB, 425x481
Who /jaywalker/ here?
>I purposely walk on the left side of the sidewalk to make people look up from their phone and adjust their course to avoid hitting me.
File: 1447066382608.jpg (34 KB, 320x315) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
34 KB, 320x315
I got family /mischief/.
>Uncle doesn't like it when I touch his face
>Touch it out of the blue whenever I want anyway
>He always gets mad and bitches about it

>Tells me to wash my peanut butter spoon instead of just putting it in the sink in a cup of water to soak
>Soak it anyway

>Asks me to do the dishes

>Mom calls and asks what i'm doing
>Tell her i'm watching a television series
>"What series?"
>I was actually watching anime
File: 1421578945928.gif (2 MB, 320x200) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
2 MB, 320x200
>stalking girl
>she thinks i'm masturbating to her pictures and want to date her
>i'm just lonely, hate myself, and want to fabricate a concrete reason to better myself

this kills the man
File: 1444457559883.jpg (139 KB, 600x450) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
139 KB, 600x450
>splash water all over bathroom faucet and on the roll of paper towels
File: 0032 - clDaMk2.png (32 KB, 655x650) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
0032 - clDaMk2.png
32 KB, 655x650
>Go to many stores on X-mas day
>"Oh man it really sucks that you have to work today!"
File: 1451585760690.jpg (201 KB, 470x595) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
201 KB, 470x595
>purposely clog up toilet at work with 100s of paper seat covers
>drop devilish load and flush
>Have nudes from some camwhore
>Know her facebook page

Could this be /mischief/?
>take elevator
>select level 3
>I actually wanted to go to level 7

>a faggot tells me that I don't understand customer service
>pause for a whole minute
>he tells my manager that I was rude
>my manager pulls me aside
>manager tells me that the guy was full of shit
>gives me a high five

:^) thanks b0ss
>get in elevator in parking garage
>need to go to level 2
>press every button before i exit
>someone gets in to go down when i exit
>go to public bathroom
>wait till the coast is clear
>piss on every roll of toilet paper.
>think about all the people desperately grabbing for TP and getting a handful of my piss soaked treat.

If I were only brave enough to actually do it
>make fake chad tinder profile
>reject every stacey thus destroying her self confidence
>ancestors fought for survival for thousands of years
>grandparents fought in war and worked hard to raise their children right
>parents spent thousands of dollars to feed, cloth and keep me entertained
>years and years of hard work and spending to continue the bloodline
>only child and lifelong virgin
>cucking my entire bloodlines work to never have kids and spend my days on a Malaysian jump roping board
File: 1451087897085.jpg (31 KB, 431x620) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
31 KB, 431x620
This is a double whammy because I remember reading a study that said that women who get rejected a lot tend to reject others more harshly. You might be creating robots as a side product, anon.
Nice gif. Is that supposed to be Cao Cao?
>ramen says to boil for 3 minutes
>only boil for 2

>food instructions says to leave it to stand for 5 minutes
>eat it straight away
>home alone and phone rings
>it's grandpa
>don't answer it
File: image.jpg (58 KB, 246x475) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
58 KB, 246x475
>be me
>waiter at an Olive Garden
>customer is seated, I'm taking drink orders
>"can I have a Pepsi?"
>sorry, we don't have Pepsi. I can get you a Coke though!
>"alright, that'll do, I guess"
>we actually do have Pepsi
>bring them a cup of Dr Pepper with no ice
>be at chipotle
>ask for steak
>actually wanted chicken
chased some beans earlier today. they got away but I got their number because they texted under a camera. kek

cameras everywhere anon
>tries not to look up
File: 1448942416336.png (167 KB, 318x308) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
167 KB, 318x308
>waitress asks if everything is alright and if i like my food
>i say yes
>actually it was fucking disgusting
File: dasitmane.png (248 KB, 502x509) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
248 KB, 502x509
>Sit on train
>See the straps from somebodies backpack underneath seat in front of me
>Slowly edge it towards me
>push it underneath my seat
>guy has to get off
>freaking out about where his beloved backpack is
File: 1451077053287.jpg (50 KB, 499x499) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
50 KB, 499x499
>be a depressed, misanthropic, friendless NEET who spends all his time shitposting on a polynesian basket weaving domain
>go to psychologist
>he asks me personal questions
>lie and pretend to be a normie
File: 1451953478180.png (179 KB, 405x406) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
179 KB, 405x406
>Sit on a train
>Guy in front of me is asleep
>His phone falls underneath his seat
>He gets off the train at his stop
>Didn't tell him that his phone is still under the seat

Proud of u
I love doing this
File: pepe celebrates.png (19 KB, 530x492) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
pepe celebrates.png
19 KB, 530x492
>having dinner in the living room
>mommy tells me that I don't have to get up, she'll come get the plateand do the dishes
>get up, take my plate to the kitchen, and do the dishes too like a bad boy
>wake up
>don't hope to die
easy there buddy, don't make me get the mods
Thread replies: 48
Thread images: 26
Thread DB ID: 360841

[Boards: 3 / a / aco / adv / an / asp / b / biz / c / cgl / ck / cm / co / d / diy / e / fa / fit / g / gd / gif / h / hc / his / hm / hr / i / ic / int / jp / k / lgbt / lit / m / mlp / mu / n / news / o / out / p / po / pol / qa / qst / r / r9k / s / s4s / sci / soc / sp / t / tg / toy / trash / trv / tv / u / v / vg / vp / vr / w / wg / wsg / wsr / x / y] [Search | Home]

[Boards: 3 / a / aco / adv / an / asp / b / biz / c / cgl / ck / cm / co / d / diy / e / fa / fit / g / gd / gif / h / hc / his / hm / hr / i / ic / int / jp / k / lgbt / lit / m / mlp / mu / n / news / o / out / p / po / pol / qa / qst / r / r9k / s / s4s / sci / soc / sp / t / tg / toy / trash / trv / tv / u / v / vg / vp / vr / w / wg / wsg / wsr / x / y] [Search | Home]

All trademarks and copyrights on this page are owned by their respective parties. Images uploaded are the responsibility of the Poster. Comments are owned by the Poster.
This is a 4chan archive - all of the shown content originated from that site. This means that 4Archive shows their content, archived. If you need information for a Poster - contact them.
If a post contains personal/copyrighted/illegal content, then use the post's [Report] link! If a post is not removed within 24h contact me at wtabusse@gmail.com with the post's information.