Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 9935. page

Why get dolled up going to the gym if you are going to sweat?

i cant, i am a but a weak boy. womanly arms, no strength

>>34788291
It's not for you pervert.

>>34788259
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0cKngIfBj0V

i just get high as hell

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>>34788328
spbp
awooo~

>>34788233
>see a ripe thread
>lay some tasty b8
>no bites
>thread falls off board
>cant use same b8 again for few hrs

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>>34788233
iktf Op. I dont even bother making threads anymore.

This place has been ruined for quite a while now but theres nowhere else to go.

>>34788233
maybe make a more interesting thread dickhead

>>34788222
>NTR
Good taste, my fellow intellectual.

>>34788222
>tfw get off to nearly everything in "degenerate" and have gotten off to a couple things in "seek help" a couple times in the past
im on my way satan

>>34788222
vanilla except lactation and i think amputee guys are cute...welp

>>34788207
do you actually like him?

>>34788207
break up with him duuuuuuh

>>34788207
Show him the pictures of you fucking his best friend.
That oughta get him to stop clinging to you, whore.

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some early memories

>same year, 3rd Grade
>sitting at lunch, we're semi-friends now that we've talked a little
>we have an interest in nintendo (I grew up with the N64 and got a GCN for Christmas of 2006) and he introduced me to anime like DBZ and Naruto
>at least we have a conversation starter
>we talk about random shit when suddenly this mexican kid takes Lorenzo's chocolate milk
>Lorenzo sees this kid take the carton, and he is not having this shit
>screams the loudest "what the heck" a kid could scream
>he immediately grabs his bag (which was heavy for an eight year old skeletal like me), gets up, and swings it like a mace, hitting the kid in the back of the head
>boy just got BTFO'd as he hit the floor and his milk went sliding across the floor
>teachers storm in to get lorenzo away from him while hes whining about his milk
>i can see tears in his eyes
>this was one of his many autistic rage fits

He got suspended, don't remember how long for, though

>4th Grade
>Lorenzo upgrades to a DS
>plays Sonic Rush and Mario Kart all the fucking time in class
>one day in a class he starts weeping on a table
>ask whats wrong
>"Someone stole my freaking DS and I'm mad"
>lolwhat
>say he should report it to the office or a teacher to try and get it back
>he does so
>i hear the intercom go on, teachers screaming in the background
>"WHOEVER TOOK MY DS I HOPE YOU BURN IN A FIRE!"
>teachers hold him back, he makes a screeching REEEE and the intercom shuts off
>utter confusion and some giggles in my class
>turns out he just left his DS in a cubby and nobody stole it

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I can't recall anything happening in 5th Grade, but I had shit grades that year, don't know why.

>6th Grade
>move to middle school, get hyped with Lorenzo because now the cafeteria has vending machines
>Lorenzo and I wait in life for lunch
>bunch of niggers at the school too, they usually skip the line and make it a reverse hourglass shape
>for some reason the guy managing the lunch line thought he was skipping
>he tells him to go back
>Lorenzo denies skipping and i vouch for him
>the dude gets a lil fussy and tells me and him to go back
>i surrender peacefully but Lorenzo isn't having his shit
>he gets angry and DECLARES that he didnt skip
>kids behind him are getting pissed and just want to get their food
>lunch dude eventually has enough and tells him to go to the office for disobedience
>Lorenzo still demands to get in the line
>lunch dude has enough of Lorenzo, so he walks up to get him himself
>he finally backs out and just says "Leave me alone"
>he puts the hood from his hoodie on his head and backs away with edgy style
>I'd follow those words if I were the guy
>lunch man pursues, Lorenzo warns him again
>lunch man makes the biggest mistake of his life
>he touches Lorenzo's backpack
>RED ALERT RED ALERT ITS A CODE RED
>Lorenzo immediately elbows the fucker off of him and punches the glass on one of the nearby vending machines out of pure autistic rage
>the glass fucking shatters like nothing
>brutal.png
>security swarms in to get him down
>they had to tackle him down to get him to stop moving
>he got a few weeks of suspension and was now taking medicine
>he takes it throughout 7th Grade and early 8th Grade before dropping them after saying he wouldn't need him anymore

more wicked tales coming up

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>April, 8th Grade
>I remember this day the most of all
>Lorenzo develops a crush on a girl
>she was a qt3.14 cheerleader who probably cucked nerds for Chad on a daily basis
>Lorenzo was determined to score some preteen puss
>He tells me how he's going to ask her out of her friends to look Alpha as fuck
>it seems like a plan for someone as Beta as us
>One day he says he's going to do it, a few weeks after his planning
>almost the end of school
>He gets up and walks toward the girl
>I don't decide to watch him, the cringe of him being rejected wouldn't be worth watching
>I go back to eating chicken drummies
>Suddenly I hear "WHAT THE FUCK" roar through the room
>my neck turns back like a fucking owl
>the qt3.14 is covered in drummy sauce, greens, and other shit
>I see Lorenzo opening a bottle of water and dumping the whole thing on her head and face
>her girlfriends, annie average and land whale go to support her after her destruction
>Lorenzo goes back and sits down with me angrily
>I ask what the fuck happened
>"She said no, so I gave her the nice guy treatment."
>he got away with it in the end and the middle school years end in keks

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>>34788130
No, OP, no they haven't.

>>34788144
That's a good thing desu

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>>34788130
My sister's friend walked in the bathroom when I was drying off from a bath. I was half hard from jerking off and she looked down and checked out my dick for a moment before closing the door.

>>34788128
Stop this shitty forced unoriginal meme

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coitus is fun

BAPIZINGERR!!!!

authentic tape when?

ooga booga where da footage at

She's was holding out for a Chad to impregnate her. She could have had any robot sire her children.

>>34788096
Listen to OP guys, he knows what he is talking about.

Showing women any weakness never results in:
>"aww he's sensitive."
It always results in:
>"What a pussy, I need a real man."

>>34788096
>Extremely rare pro tip: never ever admit that you are depressed/have anxiety/feel inadequate/lack confidence/feel bad in any emotional way to a WHORE that you're interested in. Nothing drys a ROASTIE up more than that sort of weakness. The archaic emotionless man trope exists for a reason, it's because they knew that no STACY wants to hear that pathetic grovel, they just want you to make them laugh, kiss them, give them attention, tell them they are pretty, and buy them stuff. Always keep your shoulders squared and never show weakness, you'll be better off for it and she we won't lose all respect for you.

Ftfy

>>34788096
B-but... the main character in animes/movies/TV show are all emo and sad and they get the girl !

I-It can happen to me too r-right?

>>34788092
You need real help desu.
Go to an AA meeting. This place doesn't have any answers

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>it's a roasty posty

Because just like every other woman you lack impulse control and can't take responsibility for your actions, I would assume

on the off chance that you arent a troll and im replying to an actual retarded person; just because some other retards here told you x doesnt work, doesnt mean its true.

damn.

>>34788075
Check a specialist. There are people out there who can really help.

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>>34788101
no im too scared to go to a mental doctor they will give meme meme pills that dont work, im just going to drink the depression away

Why dontcha join in on the fun?

Folk punk is great

That's okay. Your boyfriend is one of the 20%, you're supposed to share him with other females.

>>34788063
Lmao if some dick heads were playing this trash any where in my house I drag them into the street by their hair and blast 12 gauge buckshot through their dome piece

How do you get your shoes on and off?

>>34788056
I can't wait to go to medical school so I can shit on the nurses.

>>34788083
My dad ties them and I double knot them and I just slip them on and off.

I couldn't even tie my mask on correctly and had to rip it off like an animal and I could tell everyone was looking at me.

>never had any kind of job
>gonna graduate with a lit degree in may
>no connections
>no hope
you think you've got it bad

>>34788036
put up fake references or say that you were freelancing. or taking care of your sick grandmother. Make up stuff anon. Post it on /pol/, they can usually help you out in this stuff.

>>34788102
>freelancing

ok so who were some of your clients? can you tell us a bit more about some of the work you did for them?