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>be me
>mummy's chunky 550 pounder
>wake up at 5pm
>roll over in my play pen
>something is missing
>my waifu pillow is gone
>that bitch has kidnapped her
REEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>no reply
>roll out of the pen but too fat to stand
>crawl along the floor
>poopoo and peepee bottles fall and spill in my wake
>my soiled mlp onesie becoming a jackson pollock canvas of poo and pee
>roll down the stairs and see mummy in the kitchen
WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH HER, WHORE?!
I-I don't know what you're talking about sweetie
MY WAIFU! WHERE IS SHE!
Your pillow... thing. I took it to the washateria it was all gross and crusty
MY WAIFU PILLOW I SHALL FIND, THEN YOU SHALL EAT TENDIES FROM MY BEHIND
>pull myself onto my legs for the first time in weeks
>can feel my knees buckling under the weight of my ample frame
>i strap on my naruto headband, grab my minecraft sword and waddle out the door on my chivalrous quest
>people gag as i pass them on the street
>others flee in terror at the sight of me lumbering down the street trailing poopoo behind me
>get to the washateria
RELEASE HER FROM HER SOAPY PRISON!
>laundry lady looks shocked
e-excuse me
MY WAIFU YOU ODOROUS CRONE! I AM TO BELIEVE THAT SHE IS HOUSED WITHIN ONE OF THESE SPINNING DEATHTRAPS!
oh, y-you're mrs anon's ch-child... your mother's laundry is over here
>i see my love being drowned in a vortex of water and suds
REEEEEEEEEEE! SHE'S DYING YOU MALODOROUS FIEND! HOW CAN YOU LET AN INNOCENT FLOWER WILT AND DIE THIS WAY!
>i use all my tard strength to rip the machine door from it's hinges
>water floods the room as i stand triumphant sword held high and waifu in hand
>make my way home expecting tendies for the returning hero
>instead see the blue and red flashing lights of the law
>they tackle me to the ground, the stench causing them to vomit all over me
IS THIS HOW AMERICA TREATS IT'S HEROES?!
>they separate me from my love and throw me in the back of a car
>i can see them dragging her away as my eyes fill with tears
>never see her again
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>>34794175
You peopIe are beyond saving.
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>>34794175
what the fuck
originigger
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>>34794175
That was refreshing anon
I fucking miss these like hell
Make r9k great again
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>that one guy who's politically outspoken in class
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>That one red pilled kid in class that drops red pills all throughout class.
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>that one guy who references the fact that he's still in high school while posting on 4chan
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At least he's not afraid, unlike you pussie.
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It's time t wake up, wagecuck. The house is not going to clean itself.
31 Posts / 3 Images
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>>34792718
Bitch, it's Saturday!
We're sleeping in, it's our day off.
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>>34792718
Thisis the cleaning day for wagecucks.
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>>34792718
Actually it does. Or rather the cleaning service I hire does it for me. It's great coming home to a spotless house with zero effort once a week.
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Why are NEETs so pathetic?
https://youtu.be/BcSVfLV-2C4
26 Posts / 4 Images
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>>34792706
>Sargon of cuckad
Calling people who are NEETs because they're getting fucked by the blowout from baby boomers and crony capitalism NEETs isn't really an argument against socialism though.
There are pleanty of good arguments against retarded commie, but "lol you don't have a job so you don't get an opinion even though I'm willfully ignoring that your lack of a job is due to a shit job market that is a symptom of globalism and the exporting of labour" is not one of those arguments.
NEETs have every reason to be mad at the job markets caused by capitalism.
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>>34792706
>NEETs so pathetic
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1uzuiaPMPrV
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>>34792969
Where is this from?
oregano
When is it OK to hit a woman ?
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>>34792642
at any time lol
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As a firm believer of equality yes
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>>34792642
When they try to hit you or cause you physical harm
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>hey anon, wanna grab a bite?
What do?
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>>34792409
Take a bite out of that blackberry skull
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>>34792409
just fuck my shit up tbqhwy senpai
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>>34792409
That depends. Are you a man or woman?
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Post your life in a pic
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Losing is fun. Losing is all I seem to do in life.
But it's at least I have stories to tell.
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>>34791856
I like to be a smug little piece of shit and have fun on others expense.
I'm also a lazy fat cunt living the smug NEET life with no plans ahead of ending it. Will kill myself if I somehow have to be forced into labor.
Normalfags will get nothing out of me.
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>>34791856
I don't really know baka desu.
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Smelly neckbeards get the fuck out edition
How was your day lovelies?
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>>34790818
Male here
Ask me anything original
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>>34790836
>Male here
please be my boyfriend
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>>34790836
What's it like to be married to your right hand?
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Are you even any good at anything?
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>>34789828
history. sad thing is that it is so helpful in life than putting up a stick in my ass
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>>34789828
im good at a couple vidya and being a nice/decent person
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im good at lying. i made an employer believe I had been busy for a whole year when i had actually just sat at home doing nothing
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Draw you ideal girlfriend
177 Posts / 97 Images
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>>34789441
I did not draw this , my ex did , it was a self portrait of herself. She was and still is my ideal.
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>>34789483
You should definitely check up on Picasso. Seems right up your alley.
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>>34789483
You kept the painting? Why rub salt in your wounds? I saw my ex the other day, thought she was abroad, it felt bad man.
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Do robots like tha thicc? What about a bit extra?
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>>34788731
no, i dont like fucking cowsjust kidding, i would take anything at this stage
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skeletons for me only. if i cant play her ribs like a xylophone/play with her collarbone or hip bones, I want nothing to do with her
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A lot extra:
>>34788456
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Late night orEarly morningrobot help thread.
ITT: Robots help each other in anyway they can via this thread.
Examples: Mental illness,Tough times they are going through,etc etc.
Tell me what you are going through/what problems do you have and i will try to helpDon't expect much from me since i'm not the best at psychologyand i hope more anons join in to help.I hope i can do things right this time
230 Posts / 34 Images
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>>34787243
How to form a meaningful relationship without fucking it up.
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>>34787583
I'm afraid that's a question without an answer.
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Honest bro tip: If you're ugly you can get girls by being funny and witty.
If you're not funny the next thing I can say is find common ground
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Gentle reminder that 50% of women who breastfeed children report arousal during breast feeding with as many as 20% of women reporting feeling an orgasm from breast feeding their children.
If you couldn't make your mother orgasm during breast feeding chances are she fed you less frequently or fed you with formula instead of real milk.
Babies who are fed formula or who are fed less are sicklier and weaker than those fed frequently with real milk.
Your inability to give your mother nipple orgasms is why you are a robot loser today. Your mother's nipples informed her brain's pleasure centers that you were a genetically low quality child based on how your mouth latched to them and essentially told her that she should focus her love and care elsewhere.
FROM THE FUCKING DAY YOU ARE BORN YOU MUST BE ABLE TO PLEASE A WOMAN IF YOU WANT TO BE SUCCESSFUL. NEVER FORGET THIS WHEN YOU HEAR A WOMAN WHINE ABOUT MALE PRIVILEGE. EVERY ASPECT OF SOCIETY DOWN TO REPRODUCTION IS DESIGNED TO CATER TO *FEMALE* PLEASURE.
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I wish this was true, there would be an actual order to life
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>tfw mom creepily compliments me in front of other siblings on being the gentlest and best breastfeeder
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>>34786348
>women get orgasms from breastfeeding
what the fuck is wrong with women
Anonymous
Write a letter to somebody 2017-02-09 06:27:12 Post No.34752260
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Write a letter to somebody 2017-02-09 06:27:12 Post No.34752260
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Write a letter to somebody
Anonymous
2017-02-09 06:27:12
Post No. 34752260
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Dear Anna,
Looking back, meeting you was the single worst thing to ever happen to me.
I see now, much later, that all you ever were was a sociopath whore.
Please cease to exist, the world is better off without you.
-Love from, me
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Dear past me,
Don't worry, you'll find a cute, loving girlfriend who loves you for who you are. She loved you since she was 14, but you were 18 back then. Her name's Sandra.
Just wait until you're 21 and contact her. You'll be happy again, at last.
PS: If you start abusing alcohol at 19, FUCK YOU.
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Dear female
I am pathetic enough to write you a letter on an anonymous image board because you rejected me 25 years ago and I'm still bitter because I can't let things go and have little to no outside contact
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>>34752260
What did Anna do to you? Is this the Anna that I'm thinking of?
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>be me
>family bday party for me today
>okay i guess
>bring up chairs from basement
>abusive brother screaming at mom
>nothing new here
>something about the amount of pizzas we need to buy
>go upstairs to put on clothes
> dont have any pants
> call my moms name and go downstairs to ask for pants
>see mom crying her eyes out
>brother is screaming outside
Happy birthday to me
18 Posts / 1 Images
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Please tell me you were wearing underwear?
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You should probably figure out how many pizzas you need. It may take longer to deliver the more you need.
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>>34796977
>he doesn't wear clothes around the house
Rude