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>be me
>have a hard childhood,no father and shit
>my little brother died,because of my cowardness
>move far away from home for like 5 years
>i get a call
>waddefak,its my big brother
>he tells me that mom is dead
>i take the next plane ticket home
>at least got to go to her funeral
>get into a taxi at the airport
>tell him to drive me to my home
>im a nigger,you see
>so after what felt like not even 5 minutes a police car stopped the taxi
>police told me to get out with my hands up
>they basicually just took my money,told that taxi driver to gtfo
>myfuckingbag.jpg
>they drove me to some pretty bad neighborhood
>think to myself "damn,these guys gonna shoot my ass here"
>they literally thow me out of the car and drive off
>as i said,im a nignog
>so i steal some bike standing around
>drive home
>enter home
>see a photo of my mom
>get flashbacks and shit
>sit at the table
>some fat dude with a baseball bat comes out of the kitchen
>YOU PICKED THE WRONG DIP,FOOL
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>>34914787
What happened next?
Originalis
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>>34914787
You a straight busta CJ
>>
I'd watch your life as a tv show. It would simple be called "Really?"
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WAKE UPP
GRAB A BRUSH AND PUT A LITTLE MAKE UP
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>>34914780
Shut up, system of a down sucks
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>>34914797
WHY'D YOU LEAVE THE KEYS UP ON THE TABLEE
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WOKE UP
GOT OUT OF BED
DRAGGED A COMB ACROSS MY HEAD
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Be me:
>26years old
>Been lifting for 5 years (18 inch arms 10% bodyfat)
>Many other guys fear me, because i am kinda big guy.
>Pretty aesthetic looking face
>Nice car
>Good Clothes
>In the past few years spent thousands of dollars improving myself.
>Still no gf, can't even say hi without panic attacks, can't hold eye contact, etc... I fear them i really do... And i don't know what is the problem with me...
Meanwile my broke, ugly, skinnyfat male friends with yellow teeth all have gf's (and they are smoking hot!). All of them. Some of them are even more socially awkward than me.
I swear to god if i will not get gf until i am 27 i will hang myself.
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Why not ask your friends' gfs to introduce you to girls?
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>>34914690
>Meanwile my broke, ugly, skinnyfat male friends with yellow teeth all have gf's
Lies. I am all of these and I have no gf.
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>>34914710
I can't approach women or talk to them. i fear them...like they are going to hurt me. I know its irrational, but i can do nothing about it.
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Unless you are sick with cancer or something similar, death always comes unexpected. You never expect being robbed and killed, getting into a car crash, getting beheaded by Muhammad, being struck by lightning, drowning, getting a heart attack, etc.
How can anyone live a carefree life, knowing death could be right around the corner (no matter where you live)?
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>>34914593
Not a single one of these come out of the blue, all are avoidable to a certain degree.
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>death always comes unexpected
That's nice though. I go to sleep hoping to never wake up again. Would be nice to be taken out, in some unexpected manner.
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>>34914593
The only one that is really unexpected is a heart attack and even then the chances of that happening arent even worth worrying about unless you're seriously unhealthy.
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What's the difference between a robot and failed normie? Isn't a failed normie just a robot who tried to be a normie, and so still a robot?
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>>34914513
Failed normie is someone who tried and failed.
Robot is someone who never tried because they're too scared.
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Failed normie is someone who wants to be a normie but is unable to (due to status, height, attractiveness, wealth, social ability, etc.)
Robot is someone who is certainly not a normie but also never tried.
Failed normie is involuntary, robot is (for the most part) voluntary.
It's not that robots chose to be robots. But they are simply so different to normies that they never tried to be one.
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>>34914513
what about all the clowns here who've had sex but still claim to be robots?
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What you are seeing here, are singles
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>>34914419
And these, well, these are dubs
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>>34914433
holy shit youve been blessed
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Lets see how this plays out
>you wake up in the body of the nastiest Stacey from your highschool days
>you have 24 hours to do whatever you want before waking back up consequence free in your old high school body.
what do anons?
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>>34914415
i'd probably just kill myself tbph
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>>34914415
>commit suicide
>one less roastie infesting this earth
seriously, what are the downsides?i'll answer that for you: none
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>consequence free
Impossible. Learn to butterfly effect.
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Ayoo spit some bars anon
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WAN WAN
YO YO
HEY YO
HUSKY WAN
CUTE FLUFFY
WAN WAN
NOT MINE
EVER
NEVER EVER
WAN WAN
FLUFFY WAN
HUSKY HUSKY HUSKY
GIMME A HUSKY ANON BUY ME A HUSKY I WANT A HUSKY!!!!!!!!!!
>>
listen here boi
ayo ayo
don't sell me that shit goy
ayo ayo
I'm sittin' here browsing 4chan
spending all my day on R9K one
there's a lot of shit in my life to be done
instead I'll just pour me another shot of rum
drink it,
read a thread,
drink again,
'til I'm feelin' numb
all the posters here are fucking dumb
"I wanna fuck Stacie, how do I become Chad?"
dont type that shit man 'cuz you gonna look bad
in the eyes of every decent girl
just get it, they don't care if you're alpha,
beta, gamma or omega
they just wanna D and someone to listen
to their problems, just like you do,
fuck this I'm done, rum's got me like voodoo
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Accidently put it in the vocaroo thread but it was made for this one
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0SgWghz0rmN
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Anyone-else good looking but autistic as fuck around people? I'm not retarded enough to be cringy, but my anxiety makes me scared, confused, or just extremely quiet. I usually barely say anything for these reasons, but I can't make girls wet that way. Any tips on getting over this cancer? I assume it stems from my abusive parents and the severe bullying I faced in school. I tried some weak stuff my doctor gave me but it didn't help much, I think he pussied out on me because I am le still too young for the good stuff.
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Right here mate
>tfw girls always flirt with you but you fuck it up instantly
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>>34914542
This makes me want to hang myself with cheese wire.
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>>34914542
Throughout the 6th-12th grade, I'v had a lot of girls showing interest in me but I usually ignored them since I wasn't interested in relationships. One girl even straight up told me I was good-looking but I just brushed off the compliment. It took me a bit around the end of my senior year before I became Self-aware and realize what an Idiot I've been for the past 5 years.
>>34914235
Just try to visualize what you would look like through the eyes of another person. If you don't cringe completely hard that you want to completely re-valuate yourself and completely change your social persona then I don't know what to tell you.
>only four more months before i can be a cute girl in vrchat and pat anon's heads
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>>34914234
Explain as originally as possible pls
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>>34914254
https://files.catbox.moe/dlaeo7.gif this should explain everything seeing the 2mb limit
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>>34914234
I want some VR headpats..
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Give me some /essential reading/ friendos
Preferably stuff with epubs avaliable
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Notes from the Underground by Dostoyevsky is the most essential reading for a robot.
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>>34914224
Notes from the Underground - Dostoyevsky
The Stranger - Camus
The Tartar Steppe - Dino Buzzati
Cormac McCarthy, Camus, and Dostoyevsky are some good authors to start out with
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>>34914224
i recommend harry potter
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>tfw get kicked out of another lesbian bar because I'm too tall (5'6") and my boobs are too small (32B)
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>5'6"
>tall
Why lie about this? Tons of women are 5'8" or taller, and lesbian bars need butches.
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>>34914165
L i e s
I'm 5'8 with A cups and my gf is basically your stats and we go to gay bars all the time.
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>>34914165
>>34914259
lesbians can't be robots
Go back to your containment board >>>/lbgt/
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>tfw you buy frozen food because it's cheap and you can get a shit ton of it for cheap
>tfw you're too autistic to operate the oven
I may die of starvation, someone please send help
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Just suck on it and eat it raw when it becomes chewable.
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Turn dial to 500 number
place package in oven
wait 30 minutes
call the fire dept
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>>34914211
i just hit 420 because 420 blaze it, then i pushed a bunch of buttons and now the oven won't stop beeping
Anonymous
This...this fucking album is amazing... 2017-02-16 05:28:18 Post No.34914030
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This...this fucking album is amazing... 2017-02-16 05:28:18 Post No.34914030
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This...this fucking album is amazing...
Anonymous
2017-02-16 05:28:18
Post No. 34914030
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" i eat the pussy like young ma on her period"
Pink season has 5 stars and is literally the best album of all fucking time
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really no takers ?
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I liked it. I think my favorite song is either Dog Festival or White is Right
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>>34914142
it has to be "are you serious" or "nickolodean girls" for me fucking amazing
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>Liberal media last week: "The shadow government isn't real! There is no deep state, you conspiracy theorist!"
>Trump pretends to fire his friend, Democrat Michael Flynn
>Media reporting "big scandal" Trump adviser resigning over Russia talk illegally intercepted... by the deep...state...oops
>Entire media now talking about the shadow government
>Congressmen talking about the shadow government, calling for them to be investigated and jailed
>At least a dozen of them already identified, ordered by Obama, and facing jail time
>Congress and pundits talking about how dangerous it is for a 4th branch of unelected government to be blackmailing politicians and elected officials and how restructuring and purges are in order
>Trump's friend already cleared of any wrong doing
>Trump's friend, Democrat Michael Flynn, will still be advising him anyway but not as the official National Security Adviser
ROFL. They got played again! He is literally ripping the shadow government a new asshole on every turn!
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>>34914023
>>At least a dozen of them already identified, ordered by Obama, and facing jail time
source?
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>>34914064
>quote in image
http://www.breitbart.com/big-government/2017/02/14/house-intelligence-committee-chair-leakers-of-flynn-call-belong-in-jail/
you can find the video of him saying it if "muh breitbart" triggers you
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>>34914285
>http://www.breitbart.com
Come on now