Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 9583. page

>>34964834
I like getting facials from guys off Grindr but no surgeries

>>34964865
It's nice that you're a fag and all but can you go find your attention in another thread thnx.

>>34964834
I had ffs I mean basically you go there they knock you out and you wake up hours later your face is all swollen for awhile. I don't really know what else to tell you.

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>>34964807
f I can jus

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Try t- Fuk!

I'll humor you. What're you doing, op?

>mom opened the pustule cabinet
>she caught a whiff and passed out
>been 30 hours now and she still hasn't woken up

>grandpappy found the bile bin

this thread remembers me that i have to clean the semen bottle

>>34964738
Humans have been wondering that forever, personally, I'm just tired of the question.

Literally just YOLO bruh XDXD

I think about the same things Anon.
I guess one cannot fully observe himself because for that, another perspective would be necessary.

Somehow I can't believe there isn't something invisible, something higher that is our consciousness because:
If we are simply made out of atoms and our consciousness is an illusion by the brain. Why am I not you? If there is nothing separating us on a higher level how come I am I and not you?
Mindblowing questions that will be solved upon death...

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I need answers, this hedonistic treadmill of everyday life is getting BORING
Isn't there more to life?
Just fucking lol I feel like 95% of humanity is too low-sentience to even give a fuck about philosophy, even though they subconsciously know everything is meaningless.
Maybe I should just become more like them.

Not all of us. I'd pretty much fuck anyone but still a mid-30s virgin.

>>34964713
I don't get how this works could turn to such shit.

virgin 9/10's? they don't exist

you appear to have no idea what you're talking about, norman

>>34964484
Why same thread again? Why not even new pic?

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>>34964538
>he spends Friday AND Saturday night on 4chan

>>34964484
I kiss the girl on the right, because it would make her day

>>34964448
I had friends in middle school, I remember sitting with them at lunch, joining in groups in class, and playing video games out of school. This was nearly a decade ago, so I'm not sure if it counts nowadays.

It's kind of exhausting to be totally honest. Once I finished college I gave up on maintaining a network of friends only maintaining a friendship with a dude I knew since I was a child. Cut off contact with him recently as well.

>>34965562
This. I cut contact with my friends gradually as they got gfs

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>tfw anxiety attack when hairdresser tries to chat me up
>feel myself needing to vomit and shit

>>34964403
this is why I cut my own hair over the sink.
also because I'm scroogey af.

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>haven't been to barber since 2015

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so i suppose my options are to feel like shit or to just feel nothing at all

You could take this virginity off my hands.

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>"You want to know something, Anon? Nobody has ever made me laugh the way you do. And half the time you don't even realize what you did that I found so funny! I think you and I are a really good match Anon, wouldn't you agree? I mean we're both pretty much too weird to find anybody else, but that makes it all the better that we found one another!"

[ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TV6LPx1ezYs ]

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>"Oh don't listen to those Anon. No one actually has every single one of the requirements. They just put that there as a guide. Apply anyway, you just might get it."
>apply
>don't get it
>repeat 5 million times

>>34964304
or just do internships like the rest of us mortals

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>have to get references for grad school
fuck you my transcript should be enough

>>34964291
I don't have to pretend, I really do love you, but now's not a good time, I just got called in and I'll be fired if I'm not there on time. Love you, see you later

>>34964291
Hey OP, how's it going? Talk to me.

>>34964363
ok! see you later haha

>>34964108
Every single man is a hebephile.

I am a hebephile and I'm ashamed to admit it

those sexy hats, the beards, the tallits...

I just want to grab a hebe by the tzitzits and fick him silly while he moans in Yiddish. I need help.

Teenagers are fucking annoying and stupid

Call her frog

>>34964098
Just save yourself some time and give her your ssn and credit card info right now

>>34964098
yep you are

oreganito

Clearly the solution is to shoot up everyone but make sure he's the first.

But your greentext didn't happen and was still boring as fuck.

>>34964061
Not OP but literally I've been told shit like that in HS by uperclassmen, and people don't change all that much past about 16, so the story is very believable so says I.

>>34964104
And to be clear, I'm not still in HS, I just have never worked and imagine from what I know of people that this sort of a jab can and does happen*

>>34963990
Gotta love that PHOTOGRAPH of George Washington, right?

Just so we're clear, Madison is not the father of America.

>>34963990
George Washington was 6'2 though

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>>34963990
None of them were as short as Agatha, we should meme her into the presidency in 2024